My 93-year-old parents are not on Facebook.

[MineralMan]

While I keep in touch with my other relatives there, I have discovered a revolutionary new way to stay in touch with my parents.

I call them every day at 12 Noon my time, which is 10 AM their time. They're always at home that time of day. I chat with them for 20 minutes or so, inquire about how they're feeling, and then we usually talk about good times from the past.

It works very nicely. They're doing OK, considering their age. It's good to talk to them. It's not Facebook, mind you, but it works pretty darned well overall. I've been doing this now for 3 years straight, never missing a day.

[spanone]

1. K&R...

[samplegirl]

2. That is so nice.

[malaise]

3. I love this post

the way you love your parents

[MineralMan]

4. Hey, I owe them my life.

Without them, I'd be nothing. Literally.

[malaise]

7. And that's the truth

I remember your comments well from that father's day thread we had years ago.

I keep reminding one of my nephews that there's no him without his father.

[HopeAgain]

5. What? Real interaction?

Rather than posts, walls and instant messages? But that might require a level of true intimacy.

The horror!

[MineralMan]

6. Well, it's certainly not as personal as Facebook, but...

[ConnorMarc]

8. I see what you did there.

LoLing!

[DFW]

9. I stayed in touch with my grandfather until he was 102, not once using the internet

I used to call him on occasion, sometimes just to say hi, and sometimes to arrange a visit. He was getting lonely as he was outlasting his whole roster of friends. One time I called him up to ask if the day I had in mind was OK with him for a visit. He said, "of COURSE I'm free. Everybody else is dead!" He was, too, before I got my first computer. I don't think he missed it.

It would have been easy to say that the world missed out on his great wit because of it, but even that would haven been wrong. Born into poverty in New York City, the descendant of Mississippi river boat gamblers fleeing their debts (my ancestors were colorful, even if not all exactly distinguished!), he worked his way up the ranks of a Madison Avenue advertising agency using only his sense of humor, and some of his slogans actually became household phrases nationwide for a while. For his 100th birthday, my dad wrote a special newspaper column called "a class act turns 100."

And not a modem in sight.

[mythology]

10. And if they were deaf?

Or if you didn't have a job that affords you the luxury of calling at the same time everyday?

Just because a solution works for you, doesn't mean it fits everyone's life.

[MineralMan]

41. Both are very hard of hearing.

They use a speakerphone I bought for them, turned up very loud. If I worked at a job like you described, I'd call them at a different time of day. I call them because they are my parents. It is as important to me as it is to them.

I'm not understanding your grumpyness about this, frankly.

[ProudLib72]

11. Yeah, but you can't brag about having 10K people on your "friends list"

And I would imagine you'd have to discuss things that are actually relevant to yourself and your parents.

You should really give unsocial media a shot!

[shraby]

12. When my grandparents were living I made a point to write to them at least once a week if

not more. I had a family which generated stuff to write about. The telephone then was so much per minute so that was out. Stamps were much cheaper.
They really enjoyed the letters.

[treestar]

18. College kids today

may not have things like the letters I have saved from grandparents and parents, siblings and friends while in college.

They can stay in touch much easier than we could back then.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

13. My partner calls his mom every morning while driving to work.

I used to call my parents 4 or 5 times a week.

But that's not the same as keeping up with 20 or 30 old friends.

I resisted Facebook for years. Yeah there are some down sides - like finding out an old friend is a republican. But, on the whole, it's been great for keeping up with old friends.

I still don't get what all the hoopla is about. The only ads I see are for real estate, cabins and tools. Probably because I'm in the market for that stuff. Just wondering how goofy you have to be to get targeted by fake news.

[Ohiogal]

14. I'm always

so envious of people who have good relationships with their elderly folks. Mine was not so, but, alas, I tried.

[redwitch]

15. You are a good son.

Bless you for that.

[IluvPitties]

16. Great post!

Life does exist outside of social media, and it's actually pretty great!

[treestar]

17. True, but

Facebook is good for old friends it is hard to take the time to call. Those who do not live in your area. I would have lost touch with some people that I don't call but we touch base on Facebook. It led to meet ups too, when one or the other of us was in the other's area.

[annabanana]

19. My 92 yr old Mom likes to skype.

I like to actually see her. I can tell how she's feeling.. no matter that she says( "I'm just fine dear, don't worry about me&quot

[flygal]

20. I call my mom almost daily but she's only in her 70s and stuff to do :D

I personally LOVE texting my relatives. It's private. I don't need all our fb friends to see our conversations.

[rsdsharp]

21. People used to ask me why I'm not on Facebook. How could people get in touch with me?

I have 4 phone numbers -- 5 counting my wife's cell -- where they can reach me.

I have two e-mail addresses.

I have a fax number.

If you can't reach me without Facebook, and all of its related crap, you're not trying very hard.

[OldHippieChick]

22. I'm closer to your age MM, but am

so grateful my son calls me every day. I am retired and live alone, so it could be a while before someone finds me if anything happens. Sometimes his calls are only for 5 minutes and I realize he's just checking up on me, but it's good to have someone checking.

[Brainstormy]

23. you're very fortunate.

how lovely you still have them. every day is precious.

[peggysue2]

24. You're a good son, MM

I've never been into FB and I'm not 93. Never had any interest in joining. I phone, I email, I text and when I really want to feel back in the day I . . . do that writing thing, as in write a chatty note, put a stamp on the envelope and drop it in an ancient depository called a Mail Box.

Personal communication did not start with FB, nor would it end if the company went belly-up. When it comes to family connections, frequently people want to hear your voice. Then there's always Skype. They can even see your face.

[pnwmom]

25. Most of my high school class IS on Facebook, and thanks to Facebook I'm back in touch

with classmates I hadn't heard from in years.

[Lucinda]

31. College for me...and it's wonderful.

[klook]

26. I have developed a strategy for staying in touch with my 93-y.o. Mom as well.

I send her a homemade, handwritten postcard every week featuring one of my photographs (I call it Twitter for Old Folks), which she loves. She has 5 albums full of them so far. And I drive to visit her in person every few days.

It is a high tech strategy relying on the latest postal and automotive developments. Maybe not for everybody, but hey, I'm a with-it guy who likes to keep up with the times.

So far, none of my or her personal data has been hacked or sold to Russian mobsters, knock on wood!

[nolabear]

27. How lovely. But I cant do that with a few hundred people.

I won’t even go into who or why. I recognize the obsession. I know I lived without them before. But my personal and professional lives are improved by the contact.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

28. Facebook is useful for finding people.

Once you've found them, though, there are other ways of communicating with them that don't involve being turned into a commodity for the sale of advertising. Facebook was able to be a free platform because you, the user, are not the customer but the product. I hope some way can be found to do what facebook does without all the creepy data compilation.

[pnwmom]

32. We are also a commodity when we use Google and other social media.

Leaving FB doesn't solve that problem.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

36. Yes, of course. Facebook isn't the only one.

Any free platform relies on advertising. The big deal, obviously, is what's being done with the data they collect and why they didn't tell people they were doing it.

[Turbineguy]

29. My Mother and I had that arrangement.

[gademocrat7]

30. K&R!

[Docreed2003]

33. I get your point and I applaud your dedication to your parents

But I don't use FB to stay in touch with my mother, I touch base with her daily, just like you do, although she is in her 60's and I think most times she thinks her overbearing son is just trying to keep tabs on her life, lol. My dad is ten years gone, sadly and I do fill in his role more that I probably should.

FB, for me, has been a great way to stay in touch with friends from HS, college, Med school &residency, the military, and my civilian life. I stay in contact with friends, true friends, from all over the world that I would have lost contact with otherwise. For that, I am greatful. But I do see your point.

[Glorfindel]

34. Good for you, MineralMan. Too many of us wish we still had parents to call.

My father died when I was 19. I was 33 when my mother passed away. I have missed them both every day since.

[mountain grammy]

35. You're so lucky that you can do that, and you want to do that,

and I know you know it. I'm envious. Miss my mama every day.

[eleny]

37. This may be a kick for your thread but let's call it a thread "hug" instead

My folks have been gone for years now. I still miss them. I know yours treasure your daily chats.

[Kirk Lover]

38. What if your parents preferred to chat via facebook. Would you accommodate them? nt

[MineralMan]

42. They turned off their computer for good about five years ago.

Using it just got too frustrating for them. Until then, they were on Facebook.

[trof]

39. My daughter's 70-something year old parents aren't on facebook.

Weekly would be nice.

Good for you.

[samnsara]

40. my folks are the same age.. not as healthy but fiercely independent...

...they live 90 minutes from me and everyday im wondering when im going to have to leave my family and move in with them because dad refuses to leave his home. Moms almost to the point of assisted living. I installed security cams all thru the house (Foscam) and I can push a button and talk to them any time. Its just an added level of security. I check on them daily and we chat through the camera. Dad cant hear me but mom appreciates the check ins. Its cant prevent a broken hip however...

[panader0]

43. My parents are gone, But when I contact my kids, I much prefer

to talk to them on the phone. I can tell in no time, by the sound of their voice,
if they are okay. The sound of their voice is much more informative than
texts or emails.