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Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:38 PM

Furious Koch Brothers Sell Paul Ryan on eBay

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a fit of pique, David and Charles Koch have unceremoniously listed House Speaker Paul Ryan for sale on the auction site eBay.

The Kochs, who reportedly had purchased Ryan for a sum estimated in the tens of millions, now seem likely to lose their entire investment.

According to Ryan’s listing on the auction site, the Kochs set a five-hundred-dollar asking price for the used congressman, a figure that, in light of the tepid bidding for him, seems optimistic.

“Granted, owning Paul Ryan doesn’t have the benefits that it’s had for David and Charles for all of these years, but the status of owning a former Speaker of the House has to be worth something,” one Koch associate said. “Certainly more than the current high bid of seventeen dollars.”

The eBay listing suggested several possible uses for the former House Speaker, including as a Halloween ornament or garden gnome.

More: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/furious-koch-brothers-sell-paul-ryan-on-ebay


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Reply Furious Koch Brothers Sell Paul Ryan on eBay (Original post)
csziggy Apr 2018 OP
Gothmog Apr 2018 #1
SoCalMusicLover Apr 2018 #2

Response to csziggy (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:39 PM

1. I love good satire

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Response to csziggy (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:46 PM

2. Yeah, So Funny

 

Except they got EXACTLY what they wanted out of Ryan while he was there. The tax bill passed in December, will drive up deficits for 100 years, but it lowered taxes for the Kochs in a BIG way.

I'm sure they're not looking at it as losing their entire investment. The investment has paid off nicely, and now the Kochs just have to find another House member to buy off.

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