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Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:18 PM

I need a group hug.

Im at my Dads. Hes 90 and a staunch Republican. I cant even tell you about our conversation today because Id be slapped down for spouting Republican talking points. HIS talking points. Everything youve heard, on steroids. When I asked him if itd be okay for any political party to have received help from a foreign government, it took him wading through five tries to say it wouldnt be okay. Other things hed never heard about that. All I can say is hes moved on from Fox to a station called One America News.

I just cant. Ive left the basement where the tv is and am up Im the living room.

So sad.

72 replies, 4349 views

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Arrow 72 replies Author Time Post
Reply I need a group hug. (Original post)
phylny Apr 2018 OP
Eko Apr 2018 #1
CaliforniaPeggy Apr 2018 #2
raging moderate Apr 2018 #3
Kirk Lover Apr 2018 #4
phylny Apr 2018 #28
Rorey Apr 2018 #5
no_hypocrisy Apr 2018 #6
Sampan Apr 2018 #13
no_hypocrisy Apr 2018 #16
flying_wahini Apr 2018 #42
no_hypocrisy Apr 2018 #48
democrank Apr 2018 #7
Eko Apr 2018 #8
Different Drummer Apr 2018 #9
bluestarone Apr 2018 #10
Maraya1969 Apr 2018 #11
Heartstrings Apr 2018 #12
FairDemocrat Apr 2018 #14
Rhiannon12866 Apr 2018 #19
phylny Apr 2018 #26
irisblue Apr 2018 #35
Sampan Apr 2018 #15
FairDemocrat Apr 2018 #17
grantcart Apr 2018 #60
smirkymonkey Apr 2018 #18
Ohiogal Apr 2018 #20
raven mad Apr 2018 #21
trof Apr 2018 #22
mcar Apr 2018 #23
Tarc Apr 2018 #24
ConnorMarc Apr 2018 #63
Tarc Apr 2018 #70
highplainsdem Apr 2018 #25
Ilsa Apr 2018 #27
ConnorMarc Apr 2018 #64
Ilsa Apr 2018 #72
phylny Apr 2018 #29
RKP5637 Apr 2018 #30
Cha Apr 2018 #31
Hekate Apr 2018 #32
phylny Apr 2018 #33
irisblue Apr 2018 #34
roamer65 Apr 2018 #36
PoindexterOglethorpe Apr 2018 #37
CaptainTruth Apr 2018 #38
kairos12 Apr 2018 #39
secondwind Apr 2018 #40
phylny Apr 2018 #44
dameatball Apr 2018 #41
phylny Apr 2018 #43
dameatball Apr 2018 #45
Honeycombe8 Apr 2018 #46
ConnorMarc Apr 2018 #65
ashling Apr 2018 #47
erronis Apr 2018 #49
ConnorMarc Apr 2018 #67
erronis Apr 2018 #69
Blue_true Apr 2018 #50
yewberry Apr 2018 #51
BobTheSubgenius Apr 2018 #52
phylny Apr 2018 #53
gademocrat7 Apr 2018 #54
tavernier Apr 2018 #55
phylny Apr 2018 #57
tavernier Apr 2018 #58
phylny Apr 2018 #59
SummerSnow Apr 2018 #56
sprinkleeninow Apr 2018 #61
uponit7771 Apr 2018 #62
Aristus Apr 2018 #66
coeur_de_lion Apr 2018 #68
Adrahil Apr 2018 #71

Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:21 PM

1. Hug!!!

OAN is fox on conservative steroids, at this point ya might want to think if arguing with him is worth it. Maybe just steer the conversation to something else.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:22 PM

2. I am so sorry, my dear phylny.......

When you can't talk to your own father, it's terrible.

A hug for you from me:

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:22 PM

3. We are all sending you hugs.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:23 PM

4. Can you agree to not talk about it? I can't talk politics with my sister because it always

 

devolves. Sometimes we do it anyway and it never turns out well. So last time we went away when one of us brought something up the other tried to remind the other and we kept it to only a few blowouts...progress I tell ya.

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Response to Kirk Lover (Reply #4)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:19 PM

28. Yes, he came up to get coffee and tell me he was

going to watch Perry Mason. Im heading back down. We have actually had a good time for 99% of my visit to N.Y. I just hate knowing hes been so duped. Thanks,

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:24 PM

5. In this case.....

I'd say just let it be. He's 90 and he's going to be the way he's going to be.

A few years ago I took my elderly aunts for one last visit to see another aunt. One was a staunch Republican. We started discussing politics. It got pretty animated. Then I got hold of myself, realizing that I wasn't going to feel very good if our argument caused this aunt to have a health event.

I try to be careful about who I choose to have my battles with these days.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:25 PM

6. My father died four years ago tomorrow at age 92. I know EXACTLY what you're going through.






FOX News at Decibel Level 10. You could hear it upstairs with closed doors in a 14-room house.
Go out for a meal. Dad would rebroadcast the latest quote from Bill O'R, Newt, etc. Several times. Delightedly.
FOX News was an old man's version of the Circus Come To Town.

FWIW, I held my tongue, didn't protest, didn't harangue as I didn't want to be left out of the Will. Well, the joke was on me: Dad disinherited me anyway (estate was worth more than 1.5 million) and left $35,000 to the neighbor across the street.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Reply #6)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:33 PM

13. Dear no hypocrisy. Thats an awful story. Here is a big hug!

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Response to Sampan (Reply #13)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:38 PM

16. Thanks. Dad's ashes are in my sister's closet.

Because if Dad were here with me, he'd be on the carpet and I'd have the vacuum on . . . . . .

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Reply #6)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 09:13 PM

42. God that's awful. So sorry for his stinging rebuke.


You just have to remember tha5 he was brainwashed. Complete and utter brainwashing.

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Response to flying_wahini (Reply #42)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 09:50 PM

48. No, Dad was pretty much like that for decades.

It really was hell when I was a teen in the Seventies. He screamed at me for having the sheet music for American Pie and he threw it out. (Yeah, I didn't like that, but I fished it out and still have it.) Dad was afraid that I'd run away (wonder why?) and return pregnant with a multiracial bastard baby. I could go on and on. You couldn't last with him for an afternoon.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:25 PM

7. Sending a hug

Take good care of yourself.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:27 PM

8. My Dad was a conservative.

Near the end he would talk about stupid things like liberals were trying to take his guns, I would tell him that I was a liberal and I am coming to take your guns like I was talking to a little kid and tickle the mess out of him. He both hated and loved that and I would give anything I could to have that again.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:27 PM

9. ...

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:31 PM

10. HUGS to ya

It's really hard when family CANNOT SEE THE LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! Hang in there!! LOTS of friends here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:31 PM

11. Yes

I know what you are going through.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:32 PM

12. Sad....

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:34 PM

14. I will take a hug

 

I have to start working at the Indiana juvenile prison on Monday as maintenance supervisor

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Response to FairDemocrat (Reply #14)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:46 PM

19. That sounds very stressful, you have a lot of courage

And you definitely deserve more than one hug!

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Response to FairDemocrat (Reply #14)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:17 PM

26. Hug right back at ya! nt

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Response to FairDemocrat (Reply #14)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:33 PM

35. Welcome to DU

Best wishes on the new job.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:37 PM

15. So sorry. Have a big hug

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:41 PM

17. My father voted for Obama twice and he is white and 90 years old and living

 

My fathers dad help to start the UAW and General Motors sent thugs down from Detroit to have him killed..The people that worked at the factory would only get 3-4 hours of work each day, and no one could even afford to own a car, they all walked to work...They just wanted a 40 hour work week..

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Response to FairDemocrat (Reply #17)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 11:37 PM

60. Welcome to DU

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:42 PM

18. So sorry, believe me, I know how it feels.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:52 PM

20. Here's your hug.

Believe me, I had close relatives too who spouted this nonsense. It tough. You're not alone. Vent to us any time you like.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:54 PM

21. You got it!

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 07:58 PM

22. Here ya go

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:00 PM

23. ...

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:12 PM

24. I once had a conservative relative ask for posters of various rap artists for his b-day

So he could use them out in the backyard gun range for target practice.

Having relatives like this sucks, I feel your pain.

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Response to Tarc (Reply #24)

Sun Apr 22, 2018, 10:42 AM

63. Is it racism?

 

I know what I think, but I'm interested to hear your take.

How many in your family are this way?

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Response to ConnorMarc (Reply #63)

Sun Apr 22, 2018, 02:18 PM

70. Yes, it was racism

They consider almost all non-whites to be less than civilized.

There's 2 in the immediate family. One is pushing 90 but mentally checked out years ago, so, least that voice is silent now. That may sound harsh, but after having my sexuality questioned for ~40 years (male with long hair) on top of the racism, not many tears are being shed.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:16 PM

25. Sympathies, and hugs. I have some relatives like that.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:19 PM

27. Other family of mine has gone trumping,

and racist lately, saying the most awful and hateful things because trump set that example.

Hang in there.

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Response to Ilsa (Reply #27)

Sun Apr 22, 2018, 10:44 AM

64. Are you suggesting they suddenly snapped and changed?

 

Or were they always this way before?

Also, what part of the country are you in?

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Response to ConnorMarc (Reply #64)

Sun Apr 22, 2018, 04:10 PM

72. It's been gradual, but there is no shame, now.

My family is scattered around the US, but this person is in NE TX.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:25 PM

29. Thanks to all for caring! nt

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:27 PM

30. ...

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:28 PM

31. Here ya go, phylny

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:28 PM

32. Hugs. Love him as the father who raised you and helped you become the person you are...

Agree to not talk politics if you can.

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Response to Hekate (Reply #32)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:28 PM

33. Thanks so much, nt

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:32 PM

34. On it

HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUGHUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:35 PM

36. Just sit back and watch.

You will be vindicated.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:41 PM

37. I cannot imagine what you're going through.

My parents are long gone, and I'm pretty sure neither one of them would have fallen for the Fox garbage.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:45 PM

38. So sorry...

Hugs!

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 08:52 PM

39. Here you go!


Faux news has broken up more families than alcohol.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 09:05 PM

40. Try to find commonality with your dad. He is 90 years old. Talk about the good old days, etc

Politics should be put aside. He wants you to accept him the way he is.

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Response to secondwind (Reply #40)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 09:21 PM

44. Great advice. Thank you! nt

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 09:12 PM

41. This is just my take, but.......

There is no way he is going to change. Just be yourself, if he asks. It is not your job to change him at this point. Sounds like you live in close proximity (same home?), so maybe meeting some like minded friends once or twice a week for coffee or a glass of wine or even a walk, would help. But....what do I know??? Anyway, hugs and good luck

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Response to dameatball (Reply #41)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 09:21 PM

43. Thanks for your kindness.

No, we live 8+ hours apart. We talk during the week and I come north weve real times a year. I think my heart just breaks to see him so brainwashed.

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Response to phylny (Reply #43)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 09:26 PM

45. Sadly, it is his right to be wrong. The best thing you can do is love him and be your own person

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 09:45 PM

46. My father is a Trumper, too. I feel your pain.

I refuse to talk politics with him. He tries to bait me sometimes, though. They can't be reasoned with. They get ALL their news through snippets on Fox or some such source. For my father, it's Fox News. Hopeless.

You can't talk to them about reality or facts. They are living in an alternate world.

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Response to Honeycombe8 (Reply #46)

Sun Apr 22, 2018, 10:46 AM

65. How did your dad, and others like him, get this way?

 

Always the case, or a slow conversion?

Would you say that your dad is racist?

What part of the country is this?

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 09:47 PM

47. My mother in law is the same way.I won't even get anywhere near my father in law

She is 89 and in an assistive care facility. M father in law is also 89 and is in he ground for all I care.
the last time I talked to him on the trip home I felt like going p to every Black person I saw and apologizing and begging their forgiveness for even being related to him.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 09:54 PM

49. I'll speak for my partner's father - WW-II vet, faux watcher, staunchly anti-repuglican

He was a great man who served in the second War-To-End-All-Wars (hah!) who came back from parachuting into France, crossing the Rhine and down to Italy/Austria. He was not a fan of military wars.

He had voted Republican (note that I spell this as Lincoln might have), until Vietnam and he started to waver. With the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq he became fervently anti-repuglican. He would have cast the pResident as a scoundrel and criminal

However he still liked the fux news. He'd have it on whenever we came to visit but he'd also rail against the nonsense that was spewed. Fux apparently understands how to grab the eyeballs of older people.

There's a lot of complexity in all of our likes and dislikes. We're not easily separated into Yes/No.

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Response to erronis (Reply #49)

Sun Apr 22, 2018, 10:49 AM

67. What does HE say he likes the entity called FOX NEWS?

 

What part of the country is this?

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Response to ConnorMarc (Reply #67)

Sun Apr 22, 2018, 12:16 PM

69. Sadly he is no longer around to answer questions. He was in NY.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 09:55 PM

50. Squeeze.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 10:04 PM

51. It makes sense that you're frustrated.

Do your best to keep away from the subject. Do you have other family that you can make the subject of conversations instead of politics?

My ex-POW Grampa and my dad were both stone-cold liberals, and I thank the stars every day that they didn't live to see this.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 10:06 PM

52. I'm sorry to hear it, phyl.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 10:22 PM

53. I cant respond to everyone individually, but read

and absorbed and felt all of your warm and thoughtful comments. People might complain about this site, but I wont. Heartfelt and loving thanks to my fellow DUers.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 10:25 PM

54. Sorry phylny

Sending you hugs.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 10:25 PM

55. Youre a good son.

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Response to tavernier (Reply #55)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 10:29 PM

57. Daughter

😀 Thanks

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Response to phylny (Reply #57)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 10:42 PM

58. Ok. I had the same response years ago.



Sorry!

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Response to tavernier (Reply #58)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 10:45 PM

59. Its quite okay.

Phyl short for Phyllis. My Grandma Madeline used to call me Phyl and it stuck.

Now I have her hair color 😂

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 10:25 PM

56. One America News makes Fox news look like an angel

It is praise Trump all day long. The brainwashing is strong there.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sun Apr 22, 2018, 12:45 AM

61. Incoming!

A and a 💛.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sun Apr 22, 2018, 09:40 AM

62. K&R

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sun Apr 22, 2018, 10:48 AM

66. ...

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sun Apr 22, 2018, 11:39 AM

68. So many of us are dealing with right wing family members

It's beyond heart breaking. Someone here on DU called it a Cold War -- a cold Civil War.

I can't talk to half of my family. Once in a while I look at my brother in law's Facebook page. I've seen posts that describe Obama as a Muslim terrorist, pro NRA cartoons, and videos claiming trump has done more for the Black community than Obama ever did.

That's just the stuff he says publicly. Privately it's so much worse.

I feel your pain. Maybe we should form a support group. They formed Al-Anon for families of alcoholics. Can't we have the same for Fox News-aholics?

Anyway here's a hug from me.

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Response to phylny (Original post)

Sun Apr 22, 2018, 02:25 PM

71. My in-laws watch that channel- fucking nuts.

 

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