Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:22 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
Breaking: Paul Ryan Nominates Joel Osteen to Be New House ChaplainIn a surprise move during the weekend, Speaker Ryan proposed that Prosperity Gospel champion, Joel Osteen, become the new chaplain for the U.S. House of Representatives. In a brief comment, the Speaker said, "America needs to become more prosperous. It needs a new approach to individual wealth. Pastor Osteen carries that message and shows us the way. Working Americans should be grateful to pay more taxes to the Federal Government. As Jesus, himself, said, 'It will be returned an hundred-fold.' Joel, my good friend, suggests that the road to a more prosperious America will come through even higher taxes on low-income citizens, who will benefit in the end, of course. I agree with the good Pastor, and will be introducing new legislation to that effect soon."
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99 replies, 54103 views
 99 replies |
Author | Time | Post |
 Breaking: Paul Ryan Nominates Joel Osteen to Be New House Chaplain (Original post) |
MineralMan | Apr 2018 | OP |
| Vinca | Apr 2018 | #1 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #2 | |
| groundloop | Apr 2018 | #44 | |
| Honeycombe8 | Apr 2018 | #59 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #82 | |
| AlleganCarpenter | Apr 2018 | #61 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #83 | |
| LAS14 | Apr 2018 | #94 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #95 | |
| thegoose | Apr 2018 | #53 | |
| politicaljunkie41910 | Apr 2018 | #96 | |
| hlthe2b | Apr 2018 | #3 | |
| A HERETIC I AM | Apr 2018 | #4 | |
| CentralMass | Apr 2018 | #5 | |
| lunatica | Apr 2018 | #6 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #8 | |
| lunatica | Apr 2018 | #9 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #10 | |
| Iggo | Apr 2018 | #7 | |
| workinclasszero | Apr 2018 | #11 | |
| nolabear | Apr 2018 | #12 | |
| JDC | Apr 2018 | #13 | |
| FM123 | Apr 2018 | #14 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #22 | |
| Clarity2 | Apr 2018 | #15 | |
| Docreed2003 | Apr 2018 | #16 | |
| NightWatcher | Apr 2018 | #17 | |
| Takket | Apr 2018 | #18 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #19 | |
| smirkymonkey | Apr 2018 | #52 | |
| ProudLib72 | Apr 2018 | #20 | |
| northoftheborder | Apr 2018 | #21 | |
| northoftheborder | Apr 2018 | #23 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #25 | |
| OldHippieChick | Apr 2018 | #24 | |
| northoftheborder | Apr 2018 | #26 | |
| Civic Justice | Apr 2018 | #27 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #28 | |
| Yonnie3 | Apr 2018 | #29 | |
| onecent | Apr 2018 | #30 | |
| onecent | Apr 2018 | #32 | |
| sandensea | Apr 2018 | #31 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #33 | |
| sandensea | Apr 2018 | #34 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #36 | |
| Tavarious Jackson | Apr 2018 | #35 | |
| struggle4progress | Apr 2018 | #37 | |
| Sam McGee | Apr 2018 | #38 | |
| trusty elf | Apr 2018 | #39 | |
| ChubbyStar | Apr 2018 | #43 | |
| DFW | Apr 2018 | #40 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #54 | |
| FakeNoose | Apr 2018 | #41 | |
| lsewpershad | Apr 2018 | #42 | |
| bucolic_frolic | Apr 2018 | #45 | |
| True Blue American | Apr 2018 | #46 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #56 | |
| NBachers | Apr 2018 | #47 | |
| GoneOffShore | Apr 2018 | #48 | |
| Anon-C | Apr 2018 | #49 | |
| shraby | Apr 2018 | #50 | |
| shadowmayor | Apr 2018 | #51 | |
| bitterross | Apr 2018 | #55 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #57 | |
| onetexan | Apr 2018 | #58 | |
| Nitram | Apr 2018 | #60 | |
| lillypaddle | Apr 2018 | #62 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #68 | |
| Fritz Walter | Apr 2018 | #63 | |
| jmowreader | Apr 2018 | #64 | |
| George II | Apr 2018 | #65 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #70 | |
| keithbvadu2 | Apr 2018 | #66 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #72 | |
| RKP5637 | Apr 2018 | #67 | |
| Johnny2X2X | Apr 2018 | #69 | |
| RKP5637 | Apr 2018 | #71 | |
| guillaumeb | Apr 2018 | #73 | |
| mercuryblues | Apr 2018 | #74 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #75 | |
| malaise | Apr 2018 | #76 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #77 | |
| DoctorJoJo | Apr 2018 | #78 | |
| 47of74 | Apr 2018 | #79 | |
| The River | Apr 2018 | #80 | |
| JustABozoOnThisBus | Apr 2018 | #81 | |
| yorkie77 | Apr 2018 | #84 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #85 | |
| Rebl2 | Apr 2018 | #86 | |
| Shoonra | Apr 2018 | #87 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #89 | |
| Lucky Luciano | Apr 2018 | #88 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #90 | |
| Lucky Luciano | Apr 2018 | #91 | |
| MineralMan | Apr 2018 | #92 | |
| LAS14 | Apr 2018 | #93 | |
| samplegirl | Apr 2018 | #97 | |
| keithbvadu2 | Apr 2018 | #98 | |
| uppityperson | May 2018 | #99 |
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:23 PM
Vinca (48,394 posts)
1. Perfect example of what's wrong with the Trump era. Is this real or parody? Could be either.
Response to Vinca (Reply #1)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:24 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
2. The :evilgrin: emoticon indicates parody.
Response to MineralMan (Reply #2)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:41 PM
44. In these times it can be difficult to tell parody from reality
Response to MineralMan (Reply #2)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:16 PM
59. No, it doesn't. The emoji "sarcasm" is the indicator to be used.
Response to Honeycombe8 (Reply #59)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 06:16 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
82. There are no rules.
Response to AlleganCarpenter (Reply #61)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 06:17 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
83. Many things are.
Response to MineralMan (Reply #2)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 07:49 PM
LAS14 (12,240 posts)
94. Where's the :evilgrin: emoticon??? nt
Response to LAS14 (Reply #94)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 07:51 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
95. At the bottom of the OP.
Response to Vinca (Reply #1)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 07:58 PM
96. This is blasphemy. Paul Ryan should be ashamed of himself.
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:25 PM
hlthe2b (92,148 posts)
3. Actually that's about what I'd expect-- the Ayn Randian "prosperity gospel" types
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:25 PM
A HERETIC I AM (22,813 posts)
4. ...
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Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:28 PM
lunatica (53,086 posts)
6. Is the link you didn't include from Borowitz?
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Response to lunatica (Reply #6)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:28 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
8. Nope. It's my own dabbling at things.
Response to MineralMan (Reply #8)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:30 PM
lunatica (53,086 posts)
9. I'm impressed!
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Excellent satire!
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Response to lunatica (Reply #9)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:31 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
10. It's a hobby of mine.
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:31 PM
11. Lol
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You had me goin there for a second
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Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:32 PM
nolabear (39,888 posts)
12. You're a beast.
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Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:32 PM
JDC (8,954 posts)
13. Woundn't surprise anyone with a move like that
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:36 PM
14. And this is why I enjoy your posts so much! Bravo MM
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Response to FM123 (Reply #14)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:49 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
22. Thank you kindly!
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:38 PM
Docreed2003 (14,210 posts)
16. The perfect religious mouthpiece for these people!
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:44 PM
NightWatcher (39,339 posts)
17. He'd never play a place as small as the Capitol.
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:45 PM
Takket (16,773 posts)
18. the sad thing is how completely believable this is.................
Response to Takket (Reply #18)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:45 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
19. There are many, many sad things associated with the GOP.
Response to Takket (Reply #18)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:53 PM
smirkymonkey (63,221 posts)
52. I actually bought it for a minute.
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:47 PM
20. If it had not been for the evil grin, I would have believed every word
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You need to use this emoji:
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Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:48 PM
northoftheborder (7,414 posts)
21. OMG
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:50 PM
northoftheborder (7,414 posts)
23. OK - Mineral Man - you got me! My first reaction was a horrified belief in the truth of the post.
Response to northoftheborder (Reply #23)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:51 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
25. Tee-hee!
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:52 PM
northoftheborder (7,414 posts)
26. Please let me to the Irish coffee to get through the afternoon!
Response to Civic Justice (Reply #27)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:53 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
28. Say It Loud!
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:58 PM
Yonnie3 (13,121 posts)
29. Shh!
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Ryan shouldn't hear about this.
Excellent, MineralMan.  |
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:59 PM
30. OMG THIS MAKES ME SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 03:59 PM
31. Just the guy for today's kleptocracy
Response to sandensea (Reply #31)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:00 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
33. It's the ultimate in trickle-down economics, really.
Response to MineralMan (Reply #33)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:01 PM
34. Praise the Lawd that's good!
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'From on high'
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Response to sandensea (Reply #34)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:02 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
36. Tee-hee!
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:02 PM
35. You scared me.
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I believed it. Anything is possible in this administration. Lol
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Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:08 PM
37. "We just won't tolerate those communists who pray for us to be fair and remember the poor!"
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:28 PM
trusty elf (7,027 posts)
39. Osteentatious!
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Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:32 PM
DFW (47,639 posts)
40. That was funny and all, but just too over the top for me to fall for it
Response to DFW (Reply #40)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:58 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
54. I know, right...
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:35 PM
FakeNoose (24,162 posts)
41. I would have believed this, except
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... Joel Osteen is a multi-multi-millionaire. He's got a good thing going in Texas, and no reason to give that up for a no-thanks job in Washington.
This is definitely believeable though. Good job Mineral Man!  |
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:42 PM
bucolic_frolic (32,786 posts)
45. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Response to True Blue American (Reply #46)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:59 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
56. What? That chump?
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Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:48 PM
NBachers (14,737 posts)
47. If only Reverend Dimmsdale from The Scarlet Letter was available.
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:49 PM
GoneOffShore (16,449 posts)
48. Osteen has the same dead eyes as Ayn Ryan
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:51 PM
Anon-C (3,339 posts)
49. I CANNOT BREATH!
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Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:52 PM
50. You had me till about half-way thru. Then I'm looking for
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 04:59 PM
55. Damn! That was good! I fell for it - hook, line and sinker.
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Kudos to you for really good satire. Good satire, of course, is so close to the truth it's believable.
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Response to bitterross (Reply #55)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:00 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
57. Thanks!
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:23 PM
Nitram (18,365 posts)
60. That is so Repubican.
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:30 PM
lillypaddle (9,426 posts)
62. PLEASE identify parody posts
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So those of us who have NO appreciation for them will not waste our time.
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Response to lillypaddle (Reply #62)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:43 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
68. Sorry. No.
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:34 PM
Fritz Walter (4,039 posts)
63. I was going to suggest others
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:39 PM
George II (67,782 posts)
65. Is this for real?
Response to George II (Reply #65)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:45 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
70. As real as anything, these days...
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:41 PM
66. Prosperity Gospel rolls downhill
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Prosperity Gospel rolls downhill
The only reason I doubted the tale was that Joel would not deign to such a low-paying position. It would be a waste of his earnings time. 
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Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:43 PM
RKP5637 (63,223 posts)
67. Yet another fucken misfit! n/t
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:44 PM
Johnny2X2X (13,288 posts)
69. Vile, evil, and disgusting
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:45 PM
RKP5637 (63,223 posts)
71. Ryan in his forthcoming departure wants to make sure things are fucked up at all levels! n/t
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:47 PM
guillaumeb (42,641 posts)
73. Truth in parody.
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:49 PM
mercuryblues (12,470 posts)
74. do you
Response to mercuryblues (Reply #74)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:53 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
75. Several have. SUCCESS!
Response to malaise (Reply #76)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 05:56 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
77. It wouldn't be fun otherwise.
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Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 06:10 PM
JustABozoOnThisBus (22,140 posts)
81. "The horror! The horror!" nt
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 06:18 PM
84. I told my husband a few hours ago
Response to yorkie77 (Reply #84)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 06:20 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
85. Unlikely. Ryan's a Catholic, and retiring.
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 06:24 PM
Rebl2 (7,023 posts)
86. True or not
Response to Shoonra (Reply #87)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 07:30 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
89. What do you think?
Response to Lucky Luciano (Reply #88)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 07:31 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
90. Uh, no.
Response to MineralMan (Reply #90)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 07:45 PM
91. Haha! Well done then. You straddled the fine line well.
Response to Lucky Luciano (Reply #91)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 07:46 PM
MineralMan (144,022 posts)
92. Thanks.
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 07:48 PM
LAS14 (12,240 posts)
93. Yikes!!! This would never pass in a script for a play or movie.... Too unbelievable!!!
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sat Apr 28, 2018, 08:11 PM
samplegirl (9,460 posts)
97. I'd rather burn in hell
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Last edited Sat Apr 28, 2018, 09:43 PM - Edit history (1) |
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Sun Apr 29, 2018, 01:42 AM
98. Judas got 30 pieces of silver, but just once, for selling Christ.
Response to MineralMan (Original post)
Wed May 2, 2018, 10:19 PM
uppityperson (115,447 posts)
99. K&R for Snopes!
