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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMore Appropriate WH Correspondent's Association Dinner Jokes For 2019
APRIL 30, 2018
MORE APPROPRIATE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS ASSOCIATION DINNER JOKES FOR 2019
TEDDY WAYNE
Good evening, and welcome to the 2019 White House Correspondents Association dinner. After last years uproar, Ive been instructed to use only dignified language and humor considered appropriate for our current cultural discourse.
Low-IQ crazy Kellyanne Conway is here tonight. Kellyanne came to Mar-a-Lago three nights in a row around New Years Eve, and insisted on joining me. She was bleeding badly from a face-lift. I said no!
Sarah Huckabee Sanders has also graced us with her presence. She gained a massive amount of weight, and it was a real problem.
I see Fox News in the back, which is a failing pile of garbage and the enemy of the American people. I never watch Sean Hannity, who I once called the dumbest man on television!
A few members of the Trump cabinet showed up this year, such as Liddle Jeff Sessions, who lied to Congress under oath. He is an untruthful slimeball. And theres Mike Pence, who is weak, both physically and mentally. Dont threaten gay people, Mike!
Im so glad to see the Trump family represented. Lets see, theres Crooked Don Jr., who embarrassed himself and the country with his email lies. I refuse to call Ivanka Trump a bimbo, because that is not politically correct. And lets not forget Eric, who should be forced to take an IQ test. Not very bright.
As for the First Lady, I did try and fuck Melania. She was married. I moved on her like a bitch. Then all of a sudden I see her, shes now got the big phony tits and everything. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, Im automatically attracted to beautiful I just start kissing them. Its like a magnet. Just kiss. I dont even wait. And when youre a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab em by the pussy. You can do anything.
In closing, I will reserve my most civil words for the president himself, who has finally made an appearance at this dinner. Bad (or sick) guy!
with links:
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/more-appropriate-white-house-correspondents-association-dinner-jokes-for-2019
Good evening, and welcome to the 2019 White House Correspondents Association dinner. After last years uproar, Ive been instructed to use only dignified language and humor considered appropriate for our current cultural discourse.
Low-IQ crazy Kellyanne Conway is here tonight. Kellyanne came to Mar-a-Lago three nights in a row around New Years Eve, and insisted on joining me. She was bleeding badly from a face-lift. I said no!
Link to tweet
Sarah Huckabee Sanders has also graced us with her presence. She gained a massive amount of weight, and it was a real problem.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/sep/27/donald-trump-alicia-machado-miss-universe-fox-and-friends
I see Fox News in the back, which is a failing pile of garbage and the enemy of the American people. I never watch Sean Hannity, who I once called the dumbest man on television!
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/17/business/trump-calls-the-news-media-the-enemy-of-the-people.html
Link to tweet
A few members of the Trump cabinet showed up this year, such as Liddle Jeff Sessions, who lied to Congress under oath. He is an untruthful slimeball. And theres Mike Pence, who is weak, both physically and mentally. Dont threaten gay people, Mike!
Link to tweet
?lang=en
Link to tweet
Link to tweet
Link to tweet
Im so glad to see the Trump family represented. Lets see, theres Crooked Don Jr., who embarrassed himself and the country with his email lies. I refuse to call Ivanka Trump a bimbo, because that is not politically correct. And lets not forget Eric, who should be forced to take an IQ test. Not very bright.
Link to tweet
Link to tweet
Link to tweet
As for the First Lady, I did try and fuck Melania. She was married. I moved on her like a bitch. Then all of a sudden I see her, shes now got the big phony tits and everything. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, Im automatically attracted to beautiful I just start kissing them. Its like a magnet. Just kiss. I dont even wait. And when youre a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab em by the pussy. You can do anything.
In closing, I will reserve my most civil words for the president himself, who has finally made an appearance at this dinner. Bad (or sick) guy!
Link to tweet
?lang=en
Hope I got all the links right, but here:
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/more-appropriate-white-house-correspondents-association-dinner-jokes-for-2019
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More Appropriate WH Correspondent's Association Dinner Jokes For 2019 (Original Post)
kpete
May 2018
OP
SamKnause
(13,088 posts)1. Thank you for taking the time to post. Well done.
Bookmarked to share with my niece.
CrispyQ
(36,424 posts)2. That is outstanding!
That took some serious effort, kpete! Well done.
Use the idiot's words against him.