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Tue May 1, 2018, 09:20 AM

More Appropriate WH Correspondent's Association Dinner Jokes For 2019

APRIL 30, 2018
MORE APPROPRIATE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTSí ASSOCIATION DINNER JOKES FOR 2019
TEDDY WAYNE

Good evening, and welcome to the 2019 White House Correspondentsí Association dinner. After last yearís uproar, Iíve been instructed to use only dignified language and humor considered appropriate for our current cultural discourse.

Low-IQ crazy Kellyanne Conway is here tonight. Kellyanne came to Mar-a-Lago three nights in a row around New Yearís Eve, and insisted on joining me. She was bleeding badly from a face-lift. I said no!

Sarah Huckabee Sanders has also graced us with her presence. She gained a massive amount of weight, and it was a real problem.

I see Fox News in the back, which is a failing pile of garbage and the enemy of the American people. I never watch Sean Hannity, who I once called ďthe dumbest man on television!Ē

A few members of the Trump cabinet showed up this year, such as Liddle Jeff Sessions, who lied to Congress under oath. He is an untruthful slimeball. And thereís Mike Pence, who is weak, both physically and mentally. Donít threaten gay people, Mike!

Iím so glad to see the Trump family represented. Letís see, thereís Crooked Don Jr., who embarrassed himself and the country with his email lies. I refuse to call Ivanka Trump a bimbo, because that is not politically correct. And letís not forget Eric, who should be forced to take an IQ test. Not very bright.

As for the First Lady, I did try and fuck Melania. She was married. I moved on her like a bitch. Then all of a sudden I see her, sheís now got the big phony tits and everything. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, Iím automatically attracted to beautiful ó I just start kissing them. Itís like a magnet. Just kiss. I donít even wait. And when youíre a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab íem by the pussy. You can do anything.

In closing, I will reserve my most civil words for the president himself, who has finally made an appearance at this dinner. Bad (or sick) guy!


with links:
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/more-appropriate-white-house-correspondents-association-dinner-jokes-for-2019


Good evening, and welcome to the 2019 White House Correspondentsí Association dinner. After last yearís uproar, Iíve been instructed to use only dignified language and humor considered appropriate for our current cultural discourse.

Low-IQ crazy Kellyanne Conway is here tonight. Kellyanne came to Mar-a-Lago three nights in a row around New Yearís Eve, and insisted on joining me. She was bleeding badly from a face-lift. I said no!




Sarah Huckabee Sanders has also graced us with her presence. She gained a massive amount of weight, and it was a real problem.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/sep/27/donald-trump-alicia-machado-miss-universe-fox-and-friends

I see Fox News in the back, which is a failing pile of garbage and the enemy of the American people. I never watch Sean Hannity, who I once called ďthe dumbest man on television!Ē

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/17/business/trump-calls-the-news-media-the-enemy-of-the-people.html



A few members of the Trump cabinet showed up this year, such as Liddle Jeff Sessions, who lied to Congress under oath. He is an untruthful slimeball. And thereís Mike Pence, who is weak, both physically and mentally. Donít threaten gay people, Mike!

?lang=en







Iím so glad to see the Trump family represented. Letís see, thereís Crooked Don Jr., who embarrassed himself and the country with his email lies. I refuse to call Ivanka Trump a bimbo, because that is not politically correct. And letís not forget Eric, who should be forced to take an IQ test. Not very bright.







As for the First Lady, I did try and fuck Melania. She was married. I moved on her like a bitch. Then all of a sudden I see her, sheís now got the big phony tits and everything. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, Iím automatically attracted to beautiful ó I just start kissing them. Itís like a magnet. Just kiss. I donít even wait. And when youíre a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab íem by the pussy. You can do anything.


In closing, I will reserve my most civil words for the president himself, who has finally made an appearance at this dinner. Bad (or sick) guy!

?lang=en



Hope I got all the links right, but here:
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/more-appropriate-white-house-correspondents-association-dinner-jokes-for-2019
via:

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Reply More Appropriate WH Correspondent's Association Dinner Jokes For 2019 (Original post)
kpete May 2018 OP
SamKnause May 2018 #1
CrispyQ May 2018 #2
PJMcK May 2018 #3

Response to kpete (Original post)

Tue May 1, 2018, 09:46 AM

1. Thank you for taking the time to post. Well done.

Bookmarked to share with my niece.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Tue May 1, 2018, 10:50 AM

2. That is outstanding!

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Tue May 1, 2018, 11:49 AM

3. K&R

That took some serious effort, kpete! Well done.

Use the idiot's words against him.

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