I've got it narrowed down. I've done too much LSD, I've lost my mind,

or I'm living in a goddamned George Orwell novel!

Every goddamned day, i wake up, light up a Marlboro ultra light and peruse the news. What......a fuckin trip man. Is this shit real? Can't be. But the walls don't seem to be breathing. I got no tracers. My face isn't melting in the mirror. What the fuck is going on, right?

Case in point. We have a presidunce who's base includes the fucking "moral majority" (and might I digress to add fuck them). And it's now common, pretty undisputed fact that he he was fucking a porn star while the birther FLOTUS was recovering from childbirth. In fact, $130 grand was paid out to keep her quiet. And where's the "moral majority"? Fucking crickets man. Fucking crickets. These are the same people that were soooooo offended that a Democratic President got him some head from an intern. Don't get me wrong. I'm not exactly cool with that... But I'm a realist. Hell, the French newspapers have been known to post pics of their President on a yacht with his mistress. That's what men in power do. They get some strange. Been that way since we learned to walk upright. Hopefully, the metoo movement might make some strides in changing that shit, but i doubt it. Testosterone is a powerful drug. Mark my words, if Trump is removed from office, Pence will be dipping his wick. Although, I'm inclined to believe it will be with a 20 something young man. Way to much homophobic smoke for there not to be a fire there.... But I digress. How in thee fuck are these people not outraged? Maybe I'm just tripping balls, but I don't have that twitchy feeling so i'm guessing not.

And then there's the almost weekly verbal fellating of Putin by Komrad Kombover. What the actual fuck? All I heard while we had a real leader was how soft he was on the Russians. Now we got a dude (i refuse to denigrate the office by referring to him as anything but dude) who refuses to enforce sanctions and who is constantly verbally licking the balls of his favorite oligarch. He might as well show up in the oval office when the Russians visit in a ball gag and a gimp suit. But hey, as long as he goes on twitter and announces,"NO one has been tougher on Russia than Donald J. Trump," his sycophants believe this shit. It's unbelievable! I'm looking for the eye in George Harrison's hand to blink (20 points if you get the reference). Ain't happening. Okay. Fine. I'm not tripping.

This motherfucker is ass deep in emoluments clause violations (a mouthful, but I'm a liberal, so i actually know what it means unlike my knuckle dragging, FOX news watching peers). But what do I hear daily? Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton, Hillary fucking Clinton. And the Clinton foundation. Did our allies and enemies donate to that motherfucker. Yes. Were the Clinton's raking in the cash from it? Fuck no. A resounding, unapologetic, screaming from the goddamned rooftops FUCK NO! It's a triple A rated charity. Let me repeat that shit. A TRIPLE A RATED CHARITY. Once more for effect, yeah? A TRIPLE A RATED FUCKING CHARITY. Meanwhile, the Trump foundation has been shut down for fraud, he's bilking the taxpayers millions of dollars every time he goes to Tack-istan (otherwise known as Mar A Lago) by charging the taxpayer for rooms for the secret service, meals, even fucking greens fees and golf cart rental. And this is the asshole who had soooo much more stamina than Hillary. What the fuck do you need a golf cart for? In fact, he was the healthiest person to ever run for President. And then we find out that was written not by his doctor but dictated to his doctor by himself, Jesusfuckingchrist. And while I'm on the subject, didn't Obama golf too much? Didn't the Archie Bunker Billionaire declare on twitter that if he was President, he wouldn't have time to golf? Because he'd be too busy doing the peoples' business. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm not hearing voices. And I'm not drooling. I don't seem to be without my mental faculties, obscenities aside.

And then I wonder if in fact, I'm living in a George Orwell novel. I mean, really that's the only other explanation there could be. The GOP, who insisted that no President is above the law when Clinton was getting his rocks off (as if I give two shits. See paragraph 2), is now tripping over each other to commit obstruction of justice to show fealty to a person (and I use that term oh so fucking lightly) that had he not been born into money, would make a living mopping out the stalls at the adult bookstore. Seriously. Un-fucking-believable. And if that's not enough, these "law-and-order" motherfuckers are actually going after the FBI to protect the aforementioned jism-mopper. The conspiracy theories that are borne to protect this asshole would normally get you locked up and injected with enough lithium to produce a worldwide battery shortage. But not today! Not fucking today. Anything. Fucking anything that can explain away every hypocrisy, corrupt act, or moral failure by this orange douche bag is not only accepted, but embraced! Even if you'd have to huff gasoline for twenty years to be mentally "fit" enough to accept it. It's all good now.

I guess that's it then. We're all living in a George Orwell novel. Up is down. Ignorance is strength. Black is white. Would somebody do me a favor and turn the fucking page?