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Wed Jun 13, 2018, 05:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #5-1: Fake News Freak Out Edition

Last edited Thu Jun 14, 2018, 02:02 PM - Edit history (1)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #5-1: Fake News Freak Out Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! 15 minutes with us can save an average of 15% or more on your car insurance! Holy shit did we pick the wrong time to take a couple of weeks off to build our new set didn’t we? Damn! So this is season 5 of the Top 10 everybody!!! Yes you’re going to see a whole lot of new changes around here. We’re going to be more interactive. You’ll be able to connect with us on Twitter and Gmail, and eventually we will get Facebook and Instagram accounts set up. Yes, you will be able to take the Top 10 with you wherever you go! So I want to congratulate the Washington Capitals on winning the Stanley Cup. Vegas Knights – you had an insane run and you can rest easier knowing you don’t have to go to the White House to meet Trump! Also congrats to Justified and jockey Mike Smith for winning the Triple Crown! Wow, how often does that happen? Do we have time for the thing? My producer is telling me we have time for the thing. And that thing is… well it’s us. You may have noticed things are looking a bit different around here. For one, we’ve moved out of our original home at the City National Grove of Anaheim to our new home at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Hollywood. Yes, we’re going Hollywood, yo! And we are also going to be taking the Top 10 out on the road too! That’s because the Top 10 is now going to be posted from this account only but there will be plenty of links to it. But the Top 10 is going to become more interactive. We have a new e-mail address setup where you can e-mail us any time with your questions, comments, and hate mail. We may even post a mail bag from time to time. We will also be featuring a lot of new content which may include guest contributions and other exciting things coming down the pike. And for the first time ever we will be debuting a new key at some point. We will also be showing up on Twitter and we may get Facebook and Instagram feeds going, so expect that to happen as well! OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into Fox News’ role in “Stupid Watergate”:

Holy crap we picked the wrong time to get our new set built! In the number one slot we’re going to play a round of “Catch Up On Stuff We Missed” (1) which includes a whole lot of shit we missed like Roseanne getting her own show cancelled! In the second slot is the official mouth piece for the Trump administration Sean Hannity (2). What happens when you commit multiple felonies on the air? We shall find out! In the number 3 slot is Donald Trump (3) because he disinvited the Super Bowl champion Eagles to the White House because anthem, and it was a clusterfuck. At number 4 is “A Tale Of Two Dictators” and we’re going to talk about the Trump summit with Kim Jong Un. In the number 5 slot is our weekly investigative piece “Top 10 Investigates” and this time we’re going to take a look at what’s happening in Las Vegas. No it’s not the Golden Knights losing – the hotel workers in the city are preparing to go on a mass strike! At number 6 is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week our resident pastor is going to do some fundraising for a new preaching machine! At number 7 we’re going to bring back our favorite segment “Beating A Dead Horse” to discuss trolling – specifically alt right trolling and aimed at Star Wars star Kelly Marie Tran. Yeah it’s getting ugly. Stop it people. At number 8 we’re going to debut a new segment and I hope it goes well called “Explaining Jokes To Idiots” (8), specifically we’re going to take a look at what happened when NOFX decided to joke about a mass shooting, and well, we’re saying don’t do it, kids. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week it’s the return of People Are Dumb (9) because, well, people are dumb! Finally this week we’ve got a brand new segment that I cannot wait to debut. We’ve toured the world, we’ve toured the country. Now we’re going to tour… the Deep State! This is a new 24 part segment that I’m going to debut that I hope is going to go well. This is called “Deep State Diaries”. And to kick off our government tour, we’re going to start with the organization headed by Betsy DeVos – the Department Of Education. And to end the first edition of our new look Top 10 – to kick off our LGBT pride month, we’ve got some live music for you from the one, the only Judas motherfucking Priest! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Catch Up On Stuff We Missed [br] [/font]

Holy crap, did we pick the wrong time to take 2 and a half weeks off to build our new set didn’t we? I mean because in Trumpland, two and a half weeks feels like a fucking eternity! And where do we even begin to talk about the insanity that was the last two weeks? The thing is comedy – especially in the land of Trump, has a shelf life. And timing is everything. But when we committed to this bit we realize we got a whole lot of catching up to do! Starting with Roseanne. Yeah seriously we need to pay homage to this Top 10 style. Because it was insane.

ABC has canceled Roseanne.

The network’s abrupt decision to yank the reboot comes only hours after star Roseanne Barr made a racist tweet Tuesday morning attacking former President Obama senior adviser Valerie Jarrett. Barr used Jarrett’s initials and wrote, “Muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby.”

“Roseanne’s Twitter statement is abhorrent, repugnant and inconsistent with our values, and we have decided to cancel her show,” ABC Entertainment President Channing Dungey announced Tuesday.

Before ABC’s decision, Barr tried to do damage control by tweeting, “I apologize to Valerie Jarrett and to all Americans. I am truly sorry for making a bad joke about her politics and her looks. I should have known better. Forgive me-my joke was in bad taste.” She also said she was leaving Twitter. But the damage had already been done.


Yeah so that happened. I mean there was a lot of crazy shit that happened and I generally thought republicans took the Memorial Day weekend off! And I know that dominated the news but there’s so much else to cover. I mean we could talk about Alex Jones reacting to the news.

Alex Jones, the architect behind the conspiracy theory outlet Infowars, defended actress Roseanne Barr from accusations of racism after she compared former Obama White House advisor Valarie Jarett to an ape by insisting that Barr’s tweet was not racist because Jones himself says he looks “like a gorilla.”

Today on Infowars, Jones began the show by contributing to the right-wing media meltdown after ABC announced that it would cancel Barr’s recently rebooted show in response to a tweet in which Barr said that Jarrett looked like the result of what would happen if “muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby.”

Jones brushed aside the centuries-old racism contained in Barr’s comparison between a person of color and a primate, insisting that there was nothing racist about Barr’s tweet. Jones alleged that because he believes he looks like “a gorilla” that the comparison was rendered meaningless.

“If you compare some black lady to looking simian, well there’s a reason because we are primates. That’s why there are so many comparisons to humans and monkeys and to apes, because some people look more like it than others,” Jones said. “There are some white people that look more like apes than other white people, there are some black people that look more ape-like than other black people. I look ape-like.”

Seriously Alex, you’re literally one step away from hurling your own feces. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually tried that, either. That’s all I feel I need to say about Roseanne. And we will get into Trump’s epic fail with the Eagles in a little bit. But this guy clearly has the wrong idea about why people were kneeling during the anthem.

New York Republican Representative Peter King compared National Football League Players who kneel during the National Anthem to giving the Nazi salute.

Saturday, King slammed New York Jets co-owner and chairman Christopher Johnson who announced on Wednesday that he would pay fines for any of the players who wanted to kneel during the National Anthem. The Republican representative said it was “time to say goodbye to the Jets” for their decision.

“Disgraceful that @nyjets owner will pay fines for players who kneel for National Anthem. Encouraging a movement premised on lies vs. police. Would he support all player protests? Would he pay fines of players giving Nazi salutes or spew racism? It’s time to say goodbye to Jets!” King tweeted.

The NFL announced Wednesday that players will be required to “stand and show respect” for the national anthem. Team players have the option of remaining in the locker room if they do not want to stand for the anthem, but teams will be fined if anyone takes a knee on the field.

But kneeling, Roseanne, and everything else we’ve had to put up with during this shitty administration, there’s one thing that they keep droning on about, and that’s their favorite subject – satanic pedophiles! I mean seriously debating in 2018 can be boiled down to two subjects – anyone on the right can accuse anyone on the left of being Antifa or a satanic pedophile, and anyone on the left can accuse anyone on the right of being a Russian bot. Guess which one gets coverage? Yup!

During an appearance on Jim Bakker’s television program last week, End Times author Paul McGuire declared that the attacks on President Trump are a sign that America is in “the greatest spiritual battle in the history of all of mankind.” McGuire doubled down on that assertion on his radio program on Tuesday, insisting that a spiritual war is being waged against Trump by Luciferian “advanced beings” who use “supernatural multidimensional power” to control the world.

“The unprecedented attacks against President Trump and his administration are something that we’ve never seen before in all of human history,” he said. “These unprecedented attacks on Donald Trump are part of the greatest spiritual battle in the history of mankind.”

“The physical battles that we see in our world and nation right now are a direct manifestation of the spiritual battles going on in the invisible realm,” McGuire added. “There are people very high up in what is called the globalist occult or globalist Luciferian rulership system, and this rulership system consists of what used to be called the Pharaoh-God Kings, it’s what Aldous Huxley called ‘The Scientific Dictatorship,’ and these are advanced beings who know how to tap into supernatural multidimensional power and integrate it with science, technology, and economics.”

“They are people at the highest level of the pyramidic organizational structure in which the highest ranking officers, if you will, of the New World Order and Mystery Babylon are ruling the earth through an organizational structure that looks like the pyramid on the back of the U.S. dollar,” he stated. “And they control the world because they understand that the true control of the world is done through supernatural mechanisms.”

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[font size="8"]Sean Hannity
[br] [/font]

So if Trump is Adolf Hitler, that would make Sean Hannity his Joseph Goebbles. I mean the two directly speak to each other every single night. I can only imagine how long the “you hang up, no you hang up” part of the conversation goes. But Hannity completely fucked up when he committed some multiple light felonies that might border on what one would call “treason”. At the very least he’ll get some criminal obstruction of justice charges out of it.

Fox News host Sean Hannity on his show Wednesday night sarcastically advised witnesses in special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation to "follow Hillary Clinton's lead" and destroy their personal phones before handing them over to prosecutors.

Hannity's comments — he said he was kidding during the same telecast — followed a report by CNBC that Mueller's team had asked witnesses in its probe to turn over their personal phones for examination of encrypted messaging apps like WhatsApp, Dust and Signal.

The Fox host lambasted Mueller's "pitbull" team for the tactic of demanding that witnesses turn over phones and all encrypted apps, along with the messages and emails within them.

Hannity then made a comparison to Clinton, whose use of a private email server when she served as secretary of State prompted an FBI investigation and has been the subject of frequent criticism on his show.

Which is probably true. I mean Fox News is playing Trump like a fiddle and it’s definitely starting to show, and calling what Hannity said sarcasm is just the icing on the cake. So let’s make one thing perfectly clear – Hannity is accusing those indicted to literally do what he’s spent the last 4 years accusing Hillary Clinton of!

Sean Hannity has called on the witnesses in the special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation to delete their evidence and destroy all their hardware in an attempt to derail the case.

The Fox News host on Wednesday night said witnesses should "acid-wash the emails on the hard drives and your phones" then smash them into "itsy-bitsy pieces" with a hammer.

The advice — which would be illegal to follow — appeared to be sarcastic and was delivered as part of an attack on Hillary Clinton.

Hannity ultimately theorized that Clinton could get away with destroying evidence but allies of President Donald Trump could not.

I’m sure Trump approves of Hannity approving of destroying evidence in a federal case. But now Hannity has gone meta and attacked his own fake news as being, well, fake news.

Fox News host and conservative firebrand Sean Hannity cried "fake news" Thursday night in response to outrage generated by his call the previous evening for potential witnesses in Special Counsel Robert Mueller's investigation to destroy evidence because, he claimed, Hillary Clinton got away with doing the same thing.

In response to reports that Mueller was asking people to turn in their cellphones, Hannity — one of President Trump's most zealous defenders in the cable news universe — counseled "Mueller's witnesses" to "follow Hillary Clinton's lead" on Wednesday's program.

"Delete all your emails and then acid wash the emails and hard drives on phones," Hannity said. "Then take your phones and bash them into itsy-bitsy pieces, use BleachBit, remove the SIM cards and then take the pieces and hand it over to Robert Mueller and say, 'Hillary Rodham Clinton, this is equal justice under the law.'"

"I made what are obviously sarcastic remarks highlighting a clear double standard as it relates to our justice system," Hannity said on his show Thursday. "Believe it or not, the insane left wing media in this country, headline after headline, they picked up those comments — they're so dumb and gullible — and had a full-on, the only thing I can describe as a fake news freak-out."

So according to Hannity, you should never, ever question the president of the United States. Though he and his Fox News cohorts spent 8 years questioning literally every minute nuance of everything Obama did, from his choice of mustard to his questionable suit color choice. This needs multiple facepalms!

SEAN HANNITY (HOST): President Trump's attorney, Rudy Giuliani, the former New York City mayor, he's telling NBC News that he has spoken with Mueller and his partisan team of witch hunters in the past 24 hours. He's now saying that a potential presidential interview is being put in a holding pattern, which is great news. Mueller has no business ever questioning the president of the United States. There's no such thing as collusion.

Really, Hannity is this guy:

So according to Hannity and Fox News there’s no such thing as collusion. But Hannity is absolutely obsessed with collusion. In fact out of 254 episodes of the Hannity show, he has spent a whopping 152 talking about it. He’s as obsessed with this collusion case as a Korean teenage girl is obsessed with the K-Pop group BTS.

Media Matters for America is one of the right’s favorite bogeymen, and for good reason. The progressive group has long pushed for advertiser boycotts of top conservative commentators, striking at the heart of Fox News and other outlets’ businesses. More broadly, it obsessively catalogues right wing media’s every move.

Even media reporters fixated on Fox News lack the mental fortitude to methodically analyze an entire year’s worth of Sean Hannity clips. Yet that’s what Media Matters’ Matt Gertz and Shelby Jamerson did in recent weeks, poring over transcripts from 254 Hannity episodes between the May 17, 2017, appointment of Special Counsel Robert Mueller and last Wednesday. Their findings—published in a post by Gertz today—illustrate the extent to which the country’s most popular conservative pundit functions as a media organ of the White House.

Of those 254 episodes, Gertz writes, an incredible 152 opened with segments about Mueller’s investigation. Hannity averaged nearly two segments on the topic for the whole year. Some other topline observations, per Gertz:

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

So one more thing before we get into current events. We have to talk about what Trump was up to last week because, as I know they say in the south, he done fucked up. Maybe they don’t say that in the south, I don’t know. But seriously even the best comedy writers in the entire world couldn’t come up with the epic fails of the Trump administration and especially in the last week! The first is we got to talk about what happened when he disinvited the Eagles to the White House.

NFL owners were reportedly motivated by fear of incendiary comments from Donald Trump when devising the league’s new anthem policy. And that hand-wringing over Trump was further validated on Monday, when the President canceled the Eagles’ White House visit less than 24 hours before the scheduled ceremony to celebrate the Super Bowl LII champions. Clearly, the President is not done using the NFL and the anthem issue to serve his own political agenda.

Many Eagles players, including safety Malcolm Jenkins and defensive end Chris Long, said they wouldn’t be attending the White House because they don’t agree with Trump’s politics, not because the president insists that NFL players must stand for the anthem or “maybe they shouldn’t be in the country.” For the players, not attending Trump’s White House ceremony has never been about the anthem issue. It’s about disagreeing with Trump’s views on policing, criminal justice, and racial inequality.

Trump’s ego might have been bruised by the report that fewer than 10 Eagles players would be attending, so rather than host a sparsely attended ceremony he uninvited the whole organization. Quarterback Carson Wentz said recently that he would attend if the team as a whole decided they would go.

Wrong Eagles, Dude. But while Trump was frothing at the mouth batshit crazy over people not standing for the anthem, guess what? It turns out he was manipulated by… Fox News! Yup – you know their saying “We report, you decide!” should really be changed to “We report, HE decides!”.

Fox News apologized Tuesday after receiving a torrent of criticism over the network's use of photos of various players for the Philadelphia Eagles kneeling in prayer, creating the misleading impression that they were demonstrating during the national anthem.

The photos ran during a segment on Monday night, after President Trump announced that he had uninvited the reigning Super Bowl champions from a traditional visit to the White House.

As Fox News anchor Shannon Bream explained Trump's decision, which he attributed to the anthem protests that have roiled the league, photos of Eagles players kneeling in prayer were shown on screen.

But the real fail came when Trump decided to throw out the Eagles’ visit and replace it with a patriotic brew ha ha, and well, we got to show the clip because this is too fucking good.

Excuse me a minute… by the way I love that this guy remixed the clip with the theme song to Curb Your Enthusiasm:

I love that so much! But here’s the real fail behind all of this – Trump didn’t know the words to God Bless America! That’s right – Mr. “I’m Too Patriotic For My Shirt”…. So patriotic, yeah!! Forgot the fucking words to one of the most patriotic songs there is!

Taking on the NFL and football’s Super Bowl champs,U.S. President Donald Trump gave the boot to a White House ceremony for the Philadelphia Eagles on Tuesday and instead threw his own brief “Celebration of America” after it became clear most players weren’t going to show up.

Both sides traded hot accusations about who was to blame. Trump himself made headlines at the rally for apparently forgetting the words to "God Bless America." Video shows the president attempting to sing-along with a military band standing behind him.

Trump tried to turn the fracas into a referendum on patriotism and tie it to the dispute over players who have taken a knee during the national anthem to protest racism and police brutality. However, Eagles players never knelt during the “Star-Spangled Banner,” throughout the 2017 season and their march to the Super Bowl. Fox News, a known news source for Trump, was rebuked and apologized this week for showing images of Eagles players kneeling while praying on the field as evidence they protested the National Anthem.

Yeah you actually are completely wrong this time! I’m not really the most patriotic or religious guy known to man and I know the fucking words to that song! OK really I know the words enough that I can at least make it look like I’m lip syncing accurately! By the way if you’re wondering exactly how many Eagles players kneeled, here’s your answer.

Why did Trump cancel?

In a statement, Trump said that Eagles players "disagree with their President because he insists that they proudly stand for the National Anthem, hand on heart, in honor of the great men and women of our military and the people of our country."

Who from the Eagles kneeled last season?

No Eagles player kneeled during the national anthem in the regular season. Jenkins was among several players throughout the league who raised his fist during the anthem, and Long placed his hand on Jenkins' shoulder, until Week 13. At that point, a coalition of players led by Jenkins had agreed on the framework of an $89 million social justice platform with the league.

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[font size="8"]Trump Vs. Kim Jong Un
[br] [/font]

So while Trump set his sights on Art Of The Dealing on his latest target, China’s ZTE, he is applying his mad dealing skillz to diplomacy. And you know about the meeting between North Korea’s supreme dictator Kim Jong Un. Here’s the thing though – you might be asking yourself “what actually happened at that meeting”? Well, to answer your question good sir / ma’am, even we or they don’t exactly know what the fuck happened!

WASHINGTON — Senate Republicans are unclear about a key concession President Trump said he made to North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un on military exercises, with one GOP senator contradicting the president in remarks to reporters Tuesday.

While Trump said he agreed to halt joint U.S. military exercises with South Korea, Sen. Cory Gardner, R-Colo., said he heard from Vice President Pence that those exercises will continue. Gardner responded to a reporter's question after Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., deferred to him as "sort of our expert" on the subject.

"I look forward to further comment and clarification from the president when he gets here," Gardner said. "But the bottom line is this: We have an agreement from the North Korean leader on denuclearization. This is an incredibly important goal."

Trump's concession on military exercises with South Korea has been a key point of contention for Democratic congressional leaders, who blasted Trump on Tuesday for giving away too much during his meeting in Singapore with Kim in exchange for a flimsy deal. Their agreement to work toward “complete denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula” offered scant details on how to achieve it.

Well… there was a lunch involved and no it wasn’t cheeseburgers but apparently it was something that the two both enjoyed – two scoops of ice cream! I can imagine it was kind of like that scene from Stepbrothers.

U.S. President Donald Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un participated in a working lunch Tuesday, following their face-to-face meeting at the highly anticipated summit in Singapore.
Who's there

American delegation members at the lunch included U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, White House Chief of Staff John Kelly and National Security Advisor John Bolton.

North Koreas in attendance included Vice Chairman of the Central Committee of the Workers' Party of Korea Kim Yong Chol, who determines foreign policy and defense strategy for the country.

Also present was Ri Su Yong, vice chairman of the Central Committee; Ri Yong Ho, minister of foreign affairs, and No Kwang Chol, minister of the People's Armed Forces.
What they're eating

On the menu were prawn cocktails with avocado salad, green mango kerabu and fresh octopus and Korean stuffed cucumber ("Oiseon" for starters.

For the main course, the participants had a choice of beef short rib confit, sweet and sour crispy pork and Yangzhou fried rice and soy braised cod fish.

For dessert, diners had the choice of dark chocolate tartlet ganache, vanilla ice cream and tropezienne.

What? You get two scoops of ice cream too? Did we just become best friends? Yup! Want to go do karate in the garage? Yup! But if you’re thinking that the North Korean war is over, hell no it aint’, not by a long shot. Kim just got the upper hand!

Before President Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong-un issued their joint statement on Tuesday afternoon in Singapore, before the two men met in private at a luxury hotel on the Singaporean island of Sentosa, before they shook hands with all the world watching, this much was true: Kim Jong-un had already won.

"I don't know that I'll ever admit that, but I'll find some kind of an excuse."

President Trump played right into Kim's hands. He signed his name alongside Kim's on a document that, by most indications, does little to pressure the North Koreans to truly denuclearize while committing to end U.S. joint military exercises with our ally South Korea. (North Korean sanctions will remain in place for now, Trump said.) He praised Kim's "great personality." He said it was a "great honor" to appear alongside Kim.

For Kim, the event was a coming out of sorts, a chance to show himself off to the world. He had a platform unlike any other – and far greater than anything available to him in the closed, impoverished nation he so cruelly presides over. Here was an opportunity to legitimize himself and his nation, to put North Korea on an equal footing with the mighty United States.

I like that one! By the way can anyone explain what the fuck Dennis Rodman was doing there wearing a shirt for something called “Potcoin” and a MAGA hat? Anyone? No, not in that way, sir! But seriously this whole thing is playing out like a bizarre reality show. I can’t wait to see what’s in next week’s episode!

There's a tendency when the name "Dennis Rodman" is uttered to immediately roll your eyes.
"The Worm," as he was nicknamed during his days as a ferociously effective rebounder for the Detroit Pistons and Chicago Bulls in the '80s and '90s, has become, over the intervening decades, sort of a dictionary definition of what happens when you struggle with alcohol addiction. Rodman, for much of the past decade, has been playing a stereotype of himself -- the brash, unpredictable provocateur. He's had a series of reality TV appearances -- including on Donald Trump's "Celebrity Apprentice" -- and, earlier this year, checked himself in to an alcohol rehab center.
Rodman has only been relevant in any meaningful way in politics during his seeming long, slow fade from celebrity with repeated trips to North Korea to meet with his self-professed "friend" Kim Jong Un. Rodman was lambasted for these trips in the past, accused of being used as a tool for a murderous dictator. He has responded, Rodman-like, badly -- savaging his critics including Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Nothing Is Happening In Vegas
[br] [/font]

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates.

You know the catchy slogan and the catchy advertising. You can’t escape it. There was even a movie made about it. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. But if the casino moguls in Vegas like Steve Wynn and of course Donald Trump get their way, nothing might be happening in Vegas. So you might force yourself to find a new place to party and go for broke.

What happens in Las Vegas could have a ripple effect across the country if 50,000 casino-hotel workers employed at more than 30 of the city's world-famous resorts go on strike at any time starting next week.

If members of the union that includes hotel and food workers don't show up to work, it could cost the destination millions and lead to travel woes for anyone taking a vacation or business trip to Sin City. It could also send casinos looking for temporary workers amid low unemployment rates.

Analysts declined Wednesday to weigh in on the financial impact that a strike could have on casino operators. But the casinos and hotels aren't the only ones that would feel the squeeze. Local and state governments stand to lose millions from the impact on tourism.

The last time casino-hotel workers went on strike across Las Vegas was in 1984. That job action lasted 67 days and cost workers and the city more than $1 million a day each in lost wages and revenues, not counting gambling losses. The price could be much higher this time if the two sides can't reach agreements: The city has 90,000 more hotel rooms and gets an additional 29 million visitors a year than it did in 1984. More than 42.2 million people visited Vegas last year.

Yes… just like Ed Helms in “The Hangover”, the entire strip could shut down with one shot of the taser. But one crisis has been adverted for now, but if we were to put a monetary value on this, how much would casino owners lose in a day?

LAS VEGAS — The union representing thousands of Las Vegas casino workers estimated Wednesday that the two largest resort operators would lose more than $10 million a day combined if housekeepers, cooks and others go on strike at any time starting Friday.

The Culinary Union released documents explaining how it thinks a one-month strike would impact MGM Resorts International and Caesars Entertainment, which operate more than half of the properties that would be affected if 50,000 workers walk off the job.

Workers last week voted to authorize a strike as disputes over workplace training, wages and other issues have kept the union and casino operators from agreeing on new contracts.

The union conceded that it is difficult to estimate how the strike at more than 30 hotels would impact Las Vegas overall, since the last citywide labor action took place in 1984, when the city had 90,000 fewer hotel rooms and only about 12.8 million annual visitors.

But now that the mass casino strike has been adverted (for now) there’s another strike that has yet to be settled. The Las Vegas Food Worker’s Union. It’s Strike-ception. A strike within a strike within a strike.

Thousand of food service workers voted in favour of potential strike action at the end of May in Las Vegas over issues ranging from safety in the workplace to the potential of automation to create widespread redundancy in the sector.

Ninety nine per cent of the 25,000 members of UNITE HERE’S Culinary and Bartenders Unions voted on May 22 to approve the citywide strike. The vote meant that bartenders, guest room attendants, cocktail servers, food servers, porters, bellman, cooks, and kitchen workers employed at the casino resorts on the Las Vegas Strip and Downtown Las Vegas were prepared to take industrial action from June 1, when the Union contracts covering 50,000 workers expired.

The venues in question included properties operated by MGM Resorts International, Caesars Entertainment Corporation, Penn National, Golden Entertainment and Boyd Gaming.

So that’s a grim scenario facing the future of Las Vegas food workers. But one of the more important industries in Vegas besides casinos is the food and liquor industry. Without these two industries, people won’t go to casinos in Vegas.

A union strike involving 50,000 restaurant, bar and casino workers is looming for the city of Las Vegas amidst contentious contract talks. Align Public Strategies explains the impact the protest could have on the local economy and employers, the history of a strike this size and why robots are part of the negotiation.

Plus, Walmart has become the largest retail or restaurant company to offer employees paid online classes from several universities. The Align team discusses the business case for doing this in a tight labor market and the possibility of a major restaurant chain following suit.

Align also continues its conversation on universal basic income now that one city is on the verge of having it and shares this week’s legislative scorecard.

So… robots. Yes. But what would a strike in Vegas look like? It’s painting a pretty grim picture that workers could go on strike as early as next week.

Negotiations continue with 15 casino properties on the Strip and downtown Las Vegas. Union leaders say the ongoing talks will focus on the same terms reached with MGM and Caesars.

“The agreements … have historic language regarding immigration, technology and automation, and safety, from sexual harassment language to safety buttons,” union spokeswoman Bethany Khan told the Associated Press. “We always have one standard for our contracts, and we are going to negotiate that one standard with other properties.”

MGM and Caesars account for 26,000 of the roughly 50,000 union members who authorized a strike should deals not be reached by their June 1 expiration.

Union negotiators must still come to new contracts with Four Seasons, SLS, Stratosphere, Treasure Island, Tropicana, and Westgate. Downtown properties where terms remain outstanding include Binion’s, Fremont, Main Street, Four Queens, Golden Gate, Golden Nugget, The D, Downtown Grand, Plaza, and El Cortez.

Unfortunately they don’t play bingo at these casinos. Yet. This is a sticky situation and we will keep an eye on it as it develops. This is it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time for our weekly reminder that the holiest among us are also the most full of:

So my fair congregation… we are in the dire need of a new preaching machine! Because frequent flyer miles and the TSA are for godless heathens. I mean if these guys don’t have to be subjected to what us regular travelers put up with on a daily and weekly basis so why should we? I mean they’re only asking for a measily $45 million for a Dessault Falcon because… reasons. And they can do it all without paying their taxes!

A Louisiana preacher is making headlines for asking his followers to help fund an extravagant purchase: a $54 million private jet.

Jesse Duplantis, a 68-year-old prosperity gospel preacher, says a new Dassault Falcon 7X would allow him to spread his teachings more effectively.

“Now some people believe that preachers shouldn’t have jets. I really believe that preachers ought to go on every available voice, every available outlet, to get this gospel preached to the world,” Duplantis said in a video posted online last week, according to The Christian Post.

It wouldn’t be the first jet Duplantis has owned. In the video, Duplantis looked over a wall full of photos showing his other private planes and said they have helped him preach the word of God. “You know I’ve owned three different jets in my life and used them and used them and just burning them up for the Lord,” he said.

Duplantis reportedly lives in a 35,000-square-foot plantation home built in the late ’00s at a cost of $3 million. His net worth has been estimated at $50 million.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Mr. Duplantis, you should be aware from that book that you preach, that GREED IS A SIN!!!! It is one of the most ungodly sins!!!! And if you think this is crazy, just wait until you hear his sales pitch!

Man I am in the wrong profession here! Because I should be getting what is coming to me, and I am asking for a new Falcon of my own! Really the closest I have coming to that is there’s some weird guy who hangs around my church calling himself “Falcon”. Of course he needs this jet to spread the good word of the LAWRD!!!

A Louisiana televangelist is convinced that God wants him to own a fourth private jet ― and he’s calling on others to donate toward that lofty goal.

Evangelist Jesse Duplantis asked listeners to “pray about becoming a partner” in his grand dream to own a Dassault Falcon 7X, a luxury plane that’s reported to be worth at least $54 million. Duplantis claims he needs the private plane with seating for up to 19 and an optional onboard shower to efficiently spread the gospel.

“I really believe that if Jesus was physically on the Earth today, he wouldn’t be riding a donkey,” Duplantis said in a May 21 video posted on his website. “Think about it for a minute. He’d be in an airplane preaching the gospel all over the world.”

Duplantis is a purveyor of the prosperity gospel, a strand of Christianity that teaches that earthly riches are a sign of God’s favor. His organization, Jesse Duplantis Ministries, is headquartered in Destrehan, Louisiana, with a global reach facilitated by a television program, magazine and web series. The evangelist has over 700,000 followers on Facebook.


Yes because even JAYSUS doesn’t know what to think regarding your greed and stupidity. But we’re apparently not supposed to give Pastor Duplantis money for this preaching machine. Instead we’re supposed to simply “believe” it into existance! Wait, what?

Jesse Duplantis still wants that snazzy new private jet. But he wants to make it clear he's not asking anybody for money for it.
He just wants his followers to "believe" the aircraft into existence.

"I'm not asking you to pay for my plane," the televangelist says in a new video posted to his ministry's website. "The Lord said, 'I didn't ask you to pay for it, I asked you to believe for it.' That is what I said. So I'm believing, and I want you to believe with me."

Duplantis caused a stir last week after word got out he was asking his followers to chip in so his ministry could purchase a brand new Dassault Falcon 7X, which costs about $54 million. He said Jesus told him to do it.

But now Duplantis, a prosperity gospel televangelist from Louisiana, is backtracking.
"I never raised money for the plane. I put it in our magazine and said believe God with me," said the leader of Jesse Duplantis Ministries, who owns three other private jets. "There's a vast difference between 'believe in God' and asking for money."

Yes it’s believing and I want you all to believe me into a giant mansion, private jet, and maybe a Rolls Royce or two! But here’s the thing. If you so much as *DARE* to question Mr. Duplantis about his plans to enact his inner James Bond villain, you best shut up!

Actually, Duplantis wants you to know he’s not asking for money. He’s just believing for it. There’s a difference… or so we’re told.

The right response to all of this is to mock Duplantis, call him out on his greed, talk about how his followers are being duped by a man who doesn’t need their money (but sure as hell wants it), and remind people that they shouldn’t let religion override their common sense.

Try telling that to self-described “prophetic messenger” John Burton, who defends Duplantis in an article for Charisma. Here’s a glimpse at how he does it:

I’ve never questioned another’s financial situation again. I bless those who are financially blessed, period.

The truth is that this is none of your business. Stay silent. Nothing immoral has occurred. No crimes have been committed.

Yes holy shit indeed good sir! See? He didn’t do anything wrong! His unquestionable greed shouldn’t be questioned! He didn’t commit any SINS here! Just move along! So what does he need this for? Apparently reasons! And just know that the last guy who tried this got… exactly what was coming to him!

I still think often about a video we posted on this site more than two years ago, when two televangelists had a conversation over their need for private planes.

It happened in late 2015, right after Pastor Creflo Dollar begged his congregation (and everyone watching at home) to give him enough cash to buy a $65 million private jet.

Rather than condemning that blatant display of greed and wastefulness, Kenneth Copeland and Jesse Duplantis defended the request, saying they couldn’t do 90% of their international work without access to a private plane. Copeland even blasted “regular” air travel, saying that, as a famous person, he didn’t want to fly in “this dope-filled world and get in a long tube with a bunch of demons.”

Well, Copeland won’t have to worry about flying next to demons like us anymore, because he just purchased a “debt-free Gulfstream V” from media mogul Tyler Perry.

All thank to his gullible supporters. (And Jesus, of course.)

Yes… believe and believe hard enough and God will gift you with a private jet, debt free! Unfortunately we didn’t get one so we will have to resort to plan B, what that is I don’t know! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Star Wars Trolls
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It’s time for:

But before we get into it this week we need some appropriate music for this thread:

Star Wars fans, you should really be ashamed of yourselves. Every time a new Star Wars movie comes out people celebrate it for like a week. Then they groan as the worst fan base of any franchise in movie history tends to dish it out as well as they can take it. I mean just ask Jake Lloyd – who many could say got the worst of it – how he feels about Star Wars fans. Who’s the latest victim of the Star Wars fanbase? Kelly Marie Tran, who played Rose in the latest film in the franchise Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi.

The episode was not an uncommon one. Daisy Ridley, who stars as the heroine Rey, quit social media last year for similar reasons. They are far from the first women to be hounded by bitter, mostly male fans who didn't approve of their entry into a fictional pop-culture world that some fans feel a misguided sense of ownership of.

Such toxic abuse has long been a staple of darker social-media realms, fan-group message boards and internet comments pages. Obsession — loving or poisonous — has helped fuel the most dedicated fan bases, whose fervor is craved and cultivated by billion-dollar brands. But the scorn heaped on Tran — a 29-year-old newcomer who has been overjoyed at her induction into Star Wars — sparked a backlash of its own.

"What's not to love?" asked Mark Hamill, aka Luke Skywalker, with a photo of himself and Tran and the hashtag "GetALifeNerds."

Affectionate fan art of Tran's character began circling widely on Twitter. The Last Jedi writer-director Rian Johnson forcefully came to his actress' defense.

"On social media a few unhealthy people can cast a big shadow on the wall, but over the past 4 years I've met lots of real fellow SW fans," said Johnson. "We like & dislike stuff but we do it with humor, love & respect. We're the VAST majority, we're having fun & doing just fine."

Yes it does seem like Star Wars fans have crossed over into the Dark Side. And I mean come on guys when Mark Hamill tells you to get a life, get a fucking life! This is the kind of thing that caused Leslie Jones to quit social media a couple years ago. See here’s the thing SJW trolls – we know you didn’t like the Ghostbusters movie, or Ocean’s 8, or The Last Jedi. But you don’t have to beat us over the head reminding us why you hate these movies! It just makes you as stupid and boorish as our president is.

The dark side of "Star Wars" fandom recently reared its head when Kelly Marie Tran, the actress who plays Rose Tico in "Star Wars: The Last Jedi," was run off Instagram by misogynistic and racist messages from fans who didn't like her character in the movie. But the episode was not an uncommon one.

Daisy Ridley, who stars as the heroine Rey, quit social media last year for similar reasons. They are far from the first women to be hounded by bitter, mostly male fans who didn't approve of their entry into a fictional pop-culture world that some fans feel a misguided sense of ownership of.

Such toxic abuse has long been a staple of darker social-media realms, fan-group message boards and internet comments pages. Obsession -- loving or poisonous -- has helped fuel the most dedicated fan bases, whose fervor is craved and cultivated by billion-dollar brands. But the scorn heaped on Tran -- a 29-year-old newcomer who has been overjoyed at her induction into "Star Wars" — sparked a backlash of its own.

"What's not to love?" asked Mark Hamill, aka Luke Skywalker, with a photo of himself and Tran and the hashtag "GetALifeNerds."

Here’s the thing Star Wars fans – we get that you’re passionate. But seriously – fuck off with that social justice warrior bullshit! That’s the kind of thing that made you absolutely unbearable after the Ghostbusters incident, and the Force Awakens incident. So yeah we’re onto you and your bullshit because when you keep calling people out for being a “social justice warrior” doesn’t that make you the very thing you hate?

Fandom has always been an us versus them proposition. In the early days, it was because you loved something that the world at large found silly, be it comic books or Doctor Who. It was you and those who felt like you, against everyone else. Star Wars redefined fandom because it built a bigger tent than had ever existed before. Suddenly, the "everyone else" also loved Star Wars. Your mom knew what The Force was. Mark Hamill was on The Tonight Show. There was Yoda underwear. It was the first real “fan” thing that exploded into a phenomenon. But fandom always needs a “them.”

Star Wars is in an interesting place right now. The most recent film, Solo: A Star Wars Story, has been drastically underperforming at the box office. After two weeks in release, it had pulled in a mere $271 million worldwide. Analysts believe Disney will lose $50 million or more on the film, and Solo comes on the heels of Star Wars: The Last Jedi, which — despite making $1.3 billion worldwide — proved itself an incredibly divisive film. While critics loved it (judging by the 91 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes), fans were split.

Some loved the bold liberties of writer-director Rian Johnson. They understood that there was room under that big tent for characters like Vice Admiral Holdo (Laura Dern) and Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran), women placed alongside Carrie Fisher’s Leia and Ridley’s Rey at the center of the Star Wars drama.

But others hated it. Hated everything it stood for. Hated what they saw as a social justice warrior remix of the Star Wars they grew up with. And they hated Tran’s Rose most of all because they decided that she was the avatar for all that was wrong with the franchise. Those fans — a minority but a loud one — found their “them” in the very thing they used to love.

The Last Jedi is easily the most polarizing film of Star Wars. And by the way if you want a look at what George Lucas originally had planned in store, it might make you appreciate the Last Jedi just a bit more than you already did.

On October 30, 2012, George Lucas relinquished his hold over the Star Wars franchise when Disney acquired Lucasfilm for a cool $4.05 billion. While fans weren't thrilled that Disney would be in charge of a greatest sci-fi series of all time, it turns out this was a small price to pay to stop Lucas from what he planned on doing next.

While he's only hinted so far about how he would have handled the next trilogy of films, some of his plans appear to have been revealed in a companion book to James Cameron's Story of Science Fiction series on AMC.

He must be referring to whatever the midichlorians are—the stupid techno-babble Qui-Gon Jinn used to explain The Force in The Phantom Menace. But really, Lucas's plot sounds like a mix between an episode of The Magic School Bus and Osmosis Jones.

You have to admit that it's pretty funny that he would have done something he knew fans would have hated. And who can blame him? Star Wars fans suck.

Oh! Oh!!!! Even this article admits Star Wars fans suck! Here’s the other thing Star Wars fans – you can question why Solo didn’t do better at the box office. Solo was highly enjoyable I might add! But you can take polls, you can ask the directors, you can ask pretty much anybody but the reason why Solo didn’t do better is YOU. Because… fuck you! You can’t please everybody and these people are Star Wars fans!

"Solo: A Star Wars Story" has struggled at the box office, as it's expected to lose Disney at least $50 million and become the franchise's first movie to lose money for Disney and Lucasfilm. The movie's director, Ron Howard, addressed the low audience turnout on Twitter over the weekend ("Solo" made just $15 million in its third weekend, according to Box Office Mojo).

Howard responded to a Twitter user's tweet on Sunday that "Solo" might be doing poorly at the box office because some "Star Wars" fans are protesting the franchise over "The Last Jedi."

"I've been reading so many theories as to why 'Solo' hasn't been doing so well at the box office - sad to say, some SW fans are snubbing Solo b/c they're still upset over Last Jedi," Kris Fairbanks said in the tweet. "If so, they're missing out & punishing a good film for something not its fault."

Howard quoted the tweet and said that he was "proud" of "Solo" and that fans who aren't seeing it would most likely enjoy it.

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[font size="8"]Explaining Jokes To Idiots
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It’s time for our new segment:

And there’s plenty of them this week. As well as stuff we’ve missed in the two weeks that we’ve been gone. But mainly I want to start this segment with the rock band NOFX – yeah they are friends of the show since we had them on last season. But they shot themselves in the foot. No not quite literally there, good sir, with a joke about the Las Vegas shooting that was in extremely poor taste:

In the same week that television personalities Roseanne Barr and Samantha Bee were swept up in a wave of social media outrage, a Bay Area punk band with a long history of behaving badly has found itself in a swirl of controversy in a new socially conscious era.

NOFX is facing backlash after making an offhand joke during its set at the Punk Rock Bowling and Music Festival in Las Vegas on Sunday, May 27, referencing the mass shooting in October at the Route 91 Harvest Festival, also in Las Vegas, that killed 58 and injured nearly 500.

“We played a song about Muslims and we didn’t get shot! Hooray!” frontman “Fat Mike” Burkett said in low-resolution video clips from the performance that were shared on social media. His bandmate Eric Melvin replied, “I guess you’re only getting shot in Vegas if you’re a country band.”

“I mean, that sucked,” Burkett added. “But at least they were country fans and not punk rock fans.”

Yeah that happened. Now before you boo – wait for it – the follow up was even worse than the initial dialogue between Fat Mike and Melvin:

According to TMZ, after they finished a song, frontman Fat Mike said, "We played a song about Muslims and we didn't get shot. Hooray."

The site says another band member responded to that saying, "I guess you only get shot in Vegas if you are in a country band."

But it didn't end there. "That [the massacre] sucked, but at least they were country fans and no punk rock fans."

Audience members can be heard groaning on a video posted on social media, then one of the band members said, "You were all thinking it."

Fifty-eight people lost their lives on October 1, 2017, when Stephen Paddock fired a hail of bullets from a Mandalay Bay suite into the Route 91 Harvest Festival, headlined by country star Jason Aldean. Over 500 others were injured.

Local radio hosts Dave & Mahoney from X1075, who play the band's music, called the comments "disgusting and callous." They said they no longer will support their music.

OK now you can boo!!! Here’s the thing Fat Mike – we know your band says some shit that may border on insensitive and we’re OK with that. But here’s what we’re not OK with – no we’re not thinking that. I mean that is the opposite of what we were thinking And the fallout was even worse than the joke.

Less than a day after controversial comments made by California punk band NOFX at a Las Vegas punk festival made headlines, Stone Brewing has pulled out of a sponsorship deal with the band.

The Escondido brewery's cancelation of the partnership comes following several statements by NOFX band members onstage at Punk Rock Bowling and Music Festival on Sunday night. Most notably, band frontman "Fat" Mike Burkett seemingly attempted to make light of a horrifying shooting at a Las Vegas country concert last October that killed 58 and injured nearly 500 by saying, "at least they were country fans and not punk rock fans."

On Wednesday evening, Stone Brewing publicly canceled their "Punk in Drublic" sponsorship deal with NOFX, which had included a collaboration beer and a slew of nationally touring music and beer festivals.

The statement reads, in part:

"We at Stone Brewing are aware of NOFX's insensitive and indefensible statements this past weekend. As a result, we are severing all our ties with NOFX, including festival sponsorship and the production of our collaboration beer. We respect punk rock, and the DIY ethos for which it stands. To us, it means standing up for things you believe in, and fearlessly committing to what's right. And it is for that reason that Stone Brewing is immediately disassociating ourselves from the band NOFX. Stone had a sponsorship deal for this summer's Punk In Drublic festivals. Emphasis 'had.' That sponsorship is now canceled."

Yeah so here’s the thing Fat Mike – if you’ve got a corporate sponsorship of a festival maybe don’t say anything that can cost you your sponsorship! I mean just ask Roseanne how well that went. But this might be a first – NOFX might be the first band to ever get booted from their own festival!

Well, here’s a first. After NOFX frontman Fat Mike and guitarist Eric Melvin cracked some unsavory jokes about the 2017 Vegas shooting last weekend, their band has been booted from the very festival they started. The inaugural Camp Punk in Drublic—itself an extension of NOFX’s one-day, traveling Punk in Drublic festivals—kicks off tomorrow and will no longer feature either NOFX or Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, the latter being Fat Mike’s punk cover band.

“While NOFX is known for their dark, uncomfortable humor, the festival producers of Camp Punk In Drublic are shocked and disappointed by the band’s recent statements about the Route 91 Harvest Festival victims and country music fans,” reads a press release regarding Fat Mike’s removal. “These statements do not reflect the feelings or views of the Camp Punk In Drublic festival, its staff, and its sponsors.”

Replacing them will be punk legends the Descendents, who will play on Saturday, and The Vandals, who will contribute to tomorrow night’s kickoff party.

And by the way, Roseanne might want to take a page into how you do a real apology because you don’t blame the Ambien for your colossal fuck up:

The band have since responded to the controversy with a contrite post shared to their Facebook page on Thursday. “I can’t sleep, no one in my band can,” began a message, presumably written by Fat Mike. “What we said in Vegas was s—ty and insensitive and we are all embarrassed by our remarks.”

The note continued, suggesting that a longer statement was to follow. “We decided we will all get together to discuss and write an in depth, sincere, and honest apology because that’s what the people we offended and hurt deserve.”

Country star Jason Aldean was performing at the outdoor Route 91 Harvest Festival shooting on Oct. 1 when a series of loud bangs rang out from the 32nd floor of the nearby Mandalay Bay hotel. Stephen Paddock, a 64-year-old gambler and real estate businessman who lived in the area, had broken out the window of his hotel room and fired bullets from high-powered weapons into the crowd of 22,000 concertgoers.

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. And there’s been a lot of stupid people in the 2 weeks that we’ve been gone. So who was stupid this week? I want to start with this story out of where else? Our favorite state Florida, the winner of last season’s Stupidest State contest.

Clearwater police were called to a bus stop on Gulf to Bay Boulevard around 11:20 a.m. Monday for a report of a lewd and lascivious act.

Responding officers say they found a man sitting on a bench touching himself under his shorts. In an arrest report, police noted it was "obvious" the man was masturbating.

When officers asked what he was doing, the man told them, "I'm scratching myself."

After the man was arrested for disorderly conduct, police asked him to identify himself.

The arrest report states the man told police his name was "James Tiberius Kirk," the full name of the fictional character Captain Kirk from Star Trek.

Excuse me a minute… Yeah we can imagine it was kind of like that. So next up you know from time to time we love to feature “idiots with guns” because the NRA’s favorite talking point is that the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. But when these are the bad guys who are the good guys?

West Springfield Police District – A 43-year-old man is in custody today after a standoff with officers overnight that lasted over five hours. We were initially called out to the 10000 block of Wavell Road around 8:30 p.m. last night when Wesam Hashish, of Fairfax, began cutting a tree down with an axe and chainsaw, and then tried to set it on fire. He was screaming and cursing at neighbors, prompting numerous calls to 911.

When officers arrived, Hashish ran from them and jumped on top of a Fairfax County Fire and Rescue ladder truck that also responded. Hashish refused to come down during over five hours of negotiations with officers and mental health professionals. Hashish exposed himself and attempted to assault officers during the incident, at one point picking up a ladder from the top of the fire truck and throwing it at officers.

Due to ongoing safety concerns, neighbors and people living in the immediate area were asked to shelter in place and stay away from doors and windows while officers were on scene.

I think that was also kind of like that. Excuse me a minute... Next up we’re going to my home state of California. Hey people if you’re on a flight maybe you don’t smoke a joint, OK?

SAN JOSE (CBSLA/AP) — A Southwest Airlines jet made an emergency landing after reports that a passenger lit up a marijuana cigarette in a bathroom. Southwest says Flight 1250 from San Francisco to Los Angeles was diverted Wednesday afternoon.

The plane landed safely at San Jose Mineta International Airport, about 50 miles south of San Francisco.

Southwest says the passenger accused of smoking was turned over to law enforcement. Smoking on an airplane is illegal and could lead to criminal charges.

The remaining 32 passengers were placed on other aircraft to continue their trips. Passengers reported smelling smoke, and one said he smelled marijuana.

Yeah we actually do mind, Dude, because you’re on a fucking airplane! Next up – bears! You know bears are godless killing machines am I right about that? And this seems something that would be straight out of a comedy movie. Maybe don’t do this, and I mean don’t do this ever!

A central Alberta zoo must pay $500 in fines after taking a bear for ice cream at a drive-thru.

A video posted on social media in January by Discovery Wildlife Park in Innisfail, Alta., showed a one-year-old captive bear named Berkley leaning out a truck's window and being hand-fed ice cream by the owner of the local Dairy Queen.

Officials with the province investigated and charged the zoo with two counts of violating a licence or permit under the Wildlife Act.

One count stems from the bear being taken for ice cream, while the other relates to an employee who brought an orphaned bear cub home to foster in 2017.

The zoo's owners pleaded guilty and the business was fined $250 for each of the charges.


No ice cream for you!!! And that is perfect by the way. Next up we go to Wisconsin for this one, and you might want to get that Dude clip we played earlier because this guy is probably going to be asked that question a lot:

A Delafield man in February repeatedly dumped his burnt marijuana ashes on some cardboard boxes, which ultimately caused them to ignite and burn his father's Summit home to the ground, according to a criminal complaint.

As a result, Joseph Fischer has been charged with misdemeanor negligent handling of burning material. Fischer, 29, is scheduled to make his initial appearance in Waukesha County Circuit Court on June 11.

The fire started just before 4:30 a.m. Feb. 22 in the 34000 block of Venice Park Road.

According to the complaint, Fischer smoked three bowls of marijuana in the 90 minutes before the fire broke out, and each time dumped the ashes onto some cardboard boxes on the porch of his father's home.

Yeah Dude, we actually do mind especially if you’re going to, I don’t know, burn the fucking house down! Literally! While on the subject of marijuana, I know we’re still testing the waters when it comes to legal pot, but we’re definitely a long way away from having mail order pot!

A Davenport man has been arrested after police and the U.S. Postal Service say they intercepted a package containing nearly five pounds of marijuana intended for him.

The Quad-City Times reports that 25-year-old Jermaine Lewis Carter Jr., of Blue Grass, was arrested Monday. He faces charges of possession with intent to deliver and failure to affix drug tax stamp. The felonies are punishable by up to five years in prison for each count. Carter is already serving probation for another drug-related offense.

Officials say a drug-sniffing dog alerted them to the package Monday, and police received a warrant to open it. Officials say a controlled delivery of it to Carter's home led to his arrest and that Carter acknowledged the package was for him.

Yes Dude, we still mind! Stop asking! Finally this week we’re going to cross the ocean and go to Turkey for this one. Look, I know Erdogan might be unpopular but look… in a dictatorship, maybe you don’t wipe your ass with him!

Local police in Turkmenistan are inspecting toilets for evidence that locals have been using newspapers containing photographs of President Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov to wipe themselves, it's been reported.

The regional police in the western region of Balkan have allegedly instructed community policing officers to check toilets in public places and private houses, and to find evidence of people using newspapers with pictures of the country's president as tissue paper, Moscow-based news website Fergana.ru - known for its credible reporting on Turkmen affairs - reports.

Officers have been told to look for the Turkmen leader's "soiled" pictures at landfill sites, as well as among garbage at waste collection points.

"There is a special janitor at each landfill site whose job is to inspect garbage, to look for soiled newspaper photos, to establish the house or flat of the newspaper subscriber and to report it to the police," Fergana says.


Uh oh! People in Turkey are having independent thoughts! Quick better break down their spirits! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 1: The Department Of Education
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So here we go! It’s time for part 1 of our new 24 part series - Deep State Diaries! See here’s the thing – we’ve toured the world, we’ve toured the country. We’ve even toured the shithole parts of the world. Now we’re going to go explore deep inside… the deep state! Yes we are going to find out exactly what our government institutions do. What makes them so important to the health and well being of the United States and why they might be on the chopping block. We’re going to explore everything from Public Works to the DEA to the NSA to the FBI, the IRS, the ATF, the USPS, and everything in between. First up we’re going to start with the department headed by Betsy DeVos – the Department of Education. And just like the World Tour we’re going to give each agency a scorecard of some key areas we feel they are strong in, and well, what the fuck happened after the election from hell ended.

[font size="6"]The Department Of Education[/font]

Since the Reagan administration, the republicans and conservatives have loved to run afoul of the Department Of Education. But lately they’ve gone overboard in their hatred of the so called “liberal” education system. I would like to think that we’re going to set them straight with this entry but then again I’m reminded of who Trump appointed to the position – Betsy DeVos. Yes, Trump appointed the absolute worst person possible to head this department. So what is life like at the DOE under this new regime?

Since the inception of the Department of Education’s Federal Commission on School Safety earlier this year, educators, school safety experts and activists have expressed significant confusion about what the panel is actually doing, as well as doubts about its long-term effectiveness.

According to the White House, the commission was created to “quickly provide meaningful and actionable recommendations to keep students safe at school.” Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, the four-member panel's chairwoman, has promised to release a report on its findings by the end of the year.

Critics say the commission is doing too little, too slowly, however. The members have met in full only once, on March 28. A second meeting was scheduled for May 17, but few people attended because it was announced so late. On May 31, DeVos attended the commission’s first field visit at a Maryland elementary school, where she discussed fostering feelings of community in schools. The other three members — Attorney General Jeff Sessions, Secretary of Health and Human Services Alex Azar and Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen — sent surrogates.

So let’s get this straight – we’re living in a year where we’ve seen a record number of school shootings and threats to schools. So what are they offering as an actual solution?

A federal school safety commission that formed after the Parkland, Florida, school massacre won’t be focusing on guns.

That’s according to Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, who stated recently that firearms were “not part of the commission’s charge per se.” She made the remark in response to a U.S. senator who asked if the commission would consider the role of firearms in school violence.

Of course, if the commission were to focus on just guns, they would miss the mark. But as a scholar who studies school safety, I similarly believe if the commission ignores one of the main contributors to school shootings – particularly one as important as the instruments used to carry out the shootings – it could discredit any other recommendations the commission makes.

Given the composition of the Federal Commission on School Safety – which includes the attorney general, the secretary of Health and Human Services, and the secretary of Homeland Security – the commission is poised to take a broad view on solutions to school violence. That broad view includes education and mental health issues as well as law enforcement and security.

I love Principal Skinner! So let’s get this straight – guns… good? Yeah I know we’ve talked enough about guns on this program but we need solutions and the solution to a gun problem in this country is always “more guns”. That would be like telling your recovering alcoholic cousin that he needs to get drunker. I mean really could things be any crazier?

Two weeks ago, all the "what if" conversations Hoosiers have been having since a devastating shooting in Parkland, Fla., came into terrifying focus.

A 13-year-old walked into a science classroom at Noblesville West Middle School with two hand guns and opened fire, police say.

Communities throughout Indiana — and the country — that were re-examining the safety of their schools and calling on those in positions of power to do more had one more reason to call for action.

Harden school security. Provide more support. Increase funding. Strengthen gun laws. Arm teachers.

Before the Noblesville shooting, such calls were often met with a reassurance that Indiana was already doing more than most.

State leaders used the days and weeks following the Feb. 14 massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School to highlight the state’s school safety grant program, its safety academy and existing requirements that school districts have a trained safety specialist and up-to-date safety plan in place.

Holy shit!!! That’s just one state by the way! Seriously, Betsy, you had one job and that job was upended by an insane organization. Take a look at what’s happening in other states, like Arkansas for instance!

The Arkansas School Safety Commission on Monday endorsed recommendations that favor arming school district employees -- as already allowed in state law -- who volunteer to undergo training and psychological testing.

The use of the "commissioned school security officers" was among several strategies proposed by the law-enforcement subcommittee of the commission and accepted by the full commission for inclusion in recommendations to Gov. Asa Hutchinson later this month.

The expanded use of school resource officers, who are armed law enforcement officers assigned to school campuses, and the hiring of current or retired law enforcement officers as substitute teachers at a school were other subcommittee suggestions accepted by the commission.

Hutchinson appointed the 18-member task force in March after an armed intruder killed 17 people at a Parkland, Fla., high school on Feb. 14. Since then there have been school shootings in Santa Fe, Texas, killing 10, and in Noblesville, Ind., where two were shot but survived. In all, 35 people died in U.S. school shootings during the just-ended 2017-18 school year, according to Education Week, a national publication.

OK that’s two states. How about a third? Yeah I don’t think we should ask the guy who’s famous for poisoning his own citizens what he thinks about school safety. This gets an epic facepalm.

Teachers, police, school administrators, security experts and one student are among the appointees to the state School Safety Task Force created by Gov. Rick Snyder.

The 13-member task force will submit a report to Snyder and the Legislature before Nov. 30 with recommendations focusing on best practices for assessing school infrastructure and safety policies, and what practices top performing states use to create safe learning environments.

The task force was established by Snyder, through an executive order, on April 16. Snyder appointed six of the members, while another four were recommended by Republican and Democratic leaders in the state House and Senate.

The remaining three members consist of Michigan State Police Director Col. Kriste Kibbey Etue - who will chair the commission - as well as deputy state superintendent Kyle Guerrant and Michigan Department of Health and Human Services Deputy Director Nancy Vreibel.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

So here’s how we are going to rate these agencies. The first is that we are going to look at their overall importance. Then we are going to look at how things are going. Then we are going to look at their likelihood to survive under this regime, and then we are going to give them an overall score (not an average).

Overall importance: A
How Things Are Going: D-
Likely hood To Survive: C

Overall: C-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Next week we’re going to see how the government treats our veterans as we do a deep dive into how things are going with the Department Of Veterans Affairs in Trump's America. (CONTROVERSY ALERT!)

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Judas Priest[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen I am extremely excited to have our next guest on, they are heavy metal legends, and Rob Halford is the gayest gay guy in metal. Their latest album is called “Firepower” and you can see them with Deep Purple everywhere this summer. Playing their song called “Lightning Strike” give it up for the one, the only Judas Priest!!!!

See you next week!


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