I'm Calling For a Million Propaganda Minister March on Washington in Support of Sarah Sanders (F/SC)
Y'know, now that we've spent a couple weeks inside Stephen Miller's shitty Harry Potter fanfic, where Hogwarts is a military-run detention camp with government-orphaned kids sleeping in cages under space blankets...I have to say I don't much care for it.
(As usual, this post is available, with helpful links, at: http://showercapblog.com/tonight-im-calling-for-a-million-propaganda-minister-march-sarah-sanders/)
It's been a rough year and a half, Shower Captives. I know that. We've been tap-dancing on the knife's edge for so long, we've forgotten what it feels like to genuinely rest. Still, we've wearily held the line, we've Resisted every assault on our values and our Democracy. And we haven't done too badly.
...but I'm afraid it's all been for naught, friends. We had a good run, but Freedom died over the weekend. The Stars and Stripes retired to Florida to do bath salts and eat faces, the Constitution crumbled to dust and blew away in the wind, and the Statue of Liberty stepped down off her pedestal and started turning tricks out by the docks.
For you see...Sarah Huckabee Sanders was kicked out of a restaurant.
Yes, a little joint called the Red Hen in Lexington, Virginia, took a small and peaceful stand for decency, and after a staff vote said, “Due to your not insignificant role in an unforgivable abomination, you may not pass a leisurely hour or two here, among the good people of this nation, whom you insult and betray daily. Though we have to wait awhile to use the levers of Democracy to remove you from the post you soil with your reprehensible dishonesty, you may not enjoy the fruits of our labors, or the comforts of our house. Please leave. Your cheese plate is on the house.”
This respectful act of protest has of course been treated in the media as the exact moral equivalent of the Drumpf administration's monstrous policy of forced family separation, because the crowd that desperately pretended Hillary Clinton's private e-mail server balanced evenly with Government Cheese Goebbels’ sexual assaults/race-baiting/stealing from charity/inciting violence/countless other crimes have learned absolutely nothing.
Oh, and SHS also broke the law by using her official government Twitter account to stir up the frothy minions of Cult45 against the restaurant. They dutifully complied, targeting their harassment and death threats at not only the Red Hen that actually said “No shirt, no morals, no service,” but also at every other similarly-named joint in the country, because these people are precisely as intelligent as they are kind. Somewhere, there's some jagoff in a made-in-China red ballcap screaming at a rooster...I guarantee it.
Look. Sarah Slanders is in the business of destroying America as we know it. That is her job, and she executes it with great enthusiasm. She lies professionally; and not the petty lies of the everyday politician, seeking to dodge accountability for a broken campaign promise or an extra-marital affair. She tells massive, gaslighting lies, aimed at destroying the very concept of objective reality, building in its place an Orwell-for-Dummies system where the state decides what's real and what's not, and all the pesky Jim Acostas of the world have cots waiting for them in the labor camps.
She is an evil person doing evil work on behalf of evil people. She should be pelted with the feces of all God's creatures, from the lowly droppings of the tiniest lizard to the majestic turds of the blue whale, every single time she leaves her fucking house.
Sarah clearly inherited her shameless villainy from her Affable HateYokel Dad, Mike. Ol’ Chuckle Huck, who's supported more pedophiles than a Roy Moore super PAC, is somehow ethically capable of transitioning seamlessly from tweeting straight-up white supremacist propaganda to whining about the “bigotry” of decent people refusing to serve his freedom-loathing, propaganda-belching, truth-annihilating offspring, all with the sneering condescension of a self-proclaimed “man of god.”
Anyway, the Uncredible Huck marched right back out to her Podium o’ Bullshit today, lectured the media about civility for a bit before shitting out all the same old lies, from “Democrats want open borders” to “separating families is the law,” to “lots of women want to date Stephen Miller.”
While the media class staged an elaborate ceremonial circle-jerk around the ridiculous “civility” debate, the administration constructed a fresh new bureaucratic hellscape. "Well, while we can't snatch any NEW kids away from their parents, we've still got 2,000 and change already in custody to play with! Tell you what, Mom, you can have your precious baby girl back! All you have to do is sign this paper renouncing your asylum claims for all time! I suppose you could always claim your legal rights, but who knows what might happen to your little angel in all that time?” oozes Jeff Sessions, as he holds out a pen...
Hey, d'you know what's For Cucks? Due process, that's what! The Tantruming Tangelo Toddler filled up a whole Sam's Club economy-size package of diapers over the fact that he can't just point his embarrassingly-wee finger at anyone he wants deported and have ‘em catapulted over the Big Stupid Wall he'll never get built.
Golly gee, I don't know why everybody's makin’ Nazi comparisons! It's only the white supremacist President who opened internment camps for children asking for a private security force that can punish anyone it likes without judicial oversight! DOES THAT TRIGGER YOU, LIBTARDS?
Sometimes we get so caught up in this petty little man's boundless hatred and malice that it's easy to overlook how he's also crazier than Nicholas Cage at an audition for a Charles Manson biopic. At a hate rally (yeah, the President of the United States regularly stages hate rallies, that's just something that happens now) motherfucker AUTOGRAPHED PHOTOS OF GANG VIOLENCE VICTIMS.
What the living fuck? How many Pixie Stix do you have to snort before you think, “you know what these grieving families whose tragedies I'm exploiting to stir up race hatred would really love? AN AUTHENTIC DONALD-TRUMP-SIGNED PICTURE OF THEIR DEAD KID! You should get that appraised! If you have any other kids, I bet you can put them through college on this SIGNED PHOTOGRAPH OF YOUR MURDERED CHILD!”
...anyone batshit enough to behave that way is a stone's throw away from ejaculating on the corpse at an open-casket funeral, is all I'm sayin’.
Yeah, he's one zany guy, that Idiot Manchild President of ours. One minute he's seething about something Jimmy Fallon said, and you can't help but laugh at the crippling insecurities that have prevented him from enjoying a single moment of his seven decades of life. The next, he's inciting violence against a sitting U.S. Congresswoman, and the insecurities don't seem quite so funny.
By the way, as these horny-for-fascism rat bastards focus on terrorizing asylum-seekers, the Shart's own Justice Department warns that this dumbfuck effort to keep America just a little whiter for just a little longer is diverting needed resources from the allegedly-all-important business of combating drug trafficking. I'm sure Don the Con understand this; more portraits to autograph down the line, you see...
Meanwhile Donnie Dotard's dipshit trade war is rackin’ up casualties...among American workers! One of Missouri's largest nail manufacturers has already laid off 60 employees, and worries it could be out of business by Labor Day! Tariffs have forced Harley-Davidson to move some production out of the country! To those who lose their jobs, your President thanks you for your sacrifice, and wants you to know it will not be in vain! JUST KIDDING this is all just one big ego trip and he certainly doesn't give a flying rat's ass about any of you!
Politico published an amusing little piece exploring how working for the white nationalist scumfuck currently polluting the Oval Office is the ultimate cock-blocker, I guess cuz whoever handles HR for that Clowncar Full of Rectums vastly overstated the aphrodisiac qualities of opening concentration camps for children. Yeah, sorry kids, no decent human being will ever fuck you again, but I'm told the incel message boards are lovely this time of year.
Truly Earth-shattering news today, as somebody finally managed to say something so racist on Fux Nooz that they got suspended instead of promoted! Former Shart campaign official David Bossie not only casually flung a slur at a black panelist, he did so while defending the President and his party...from charges of racism. Truth is stranger, and much much dumber, than fiction.
Erik Prince has turned his phone and computer over to Bodacious Bob Mueller's team. FBI investigators are reportedly disturbed that the folder marked “porn” contains nothing but videos of civilians dying in air strikes.
Speaking of Mueller, looks like he's bashfully batting his eyes at one of Roger Stone's buddies, sayin’ “Hey big boy, why don't you come on over here for an interview,” but the dude doesn't want to be known as a "rat,” preferring his existing reputation as a "grundle-huffing shitweasel,” which of course is the scientific term for “a friend of Roger Stone.”
And of course there were fresh new allegations of corruption for our old pal Scott Pruitt. I actually wrote that sentence two minutes after I posted my last blog, knowing full well it would prove true by the time I posted this one.
Big congratulations to every political journalist who shat out a think piece about the Marmalade Shartcannon winning so very very hard because his approval ratings were at their highest even as his inhuman depravity reached new and appalling depths. Any editor with half a brain (or, fuck, even with a semi-ripe cauliflower between their ears) would've told you, “Hold up, Daddy-O, let's wait and see how the CONCENTRATION CAMPS play out with the public before we print that one,” and sure enough, the number plummeted faster than Shartboy's Nobel prize chances.
Oh, before we go, Bill at the Abject Horror Desk has something he'd like to bring to our attention. What've you got, Bill?
Bill at the Abject Horror Desk: Well, Cap, NBC reports that President Trump has increasingly stopped listening to Jim Mattis, shutting him out entirely on several major decisions.
Well, that doesn't sound that bad, Bill! Just good ol’ Washington gossip!
Bill at the Abject Horror Desk: McMaster and Cohn gone. Mattis and Kelly sidelined. While John Bolton and Stephen Miller frolic freely through the corridors of power. Suddenly we're in a 90-front trade war and the military is opening tent cities to detain little kids. There's no adult supervision left, and not only are kids high on candy and soda pop, but they have nuclear codes.
Ah, well, when you put it like that...
...
...
...we're all gonna die.
Alright, that's all I've got tonight, chums. I probably missed something, but sifting through ALL THE GODDAMN POSTS ABOUT CIVILITY really decimated my capacity for news today.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Great work as usual, dear Ferret.
Seriously Great.
