Near death, seeing dead people may be neither rare nor eerie

[left-of-center2012]

PITTSBURGH (AP) —

Beth Roncevich's father was in his last few days of life, lying in bed in his Indiana Township home with her and her mother somberly by his side.
Though his eyes were closed while terminally ill from lung disease on that day four years ago, laughter unexpectedly emerged from Albin Langus.
"I said 'Dad, what are you laughing at?' He said, 'Oh, we're all together.' "
The bewildered Roncevich and her mother wondered who and what he was seeing. He was even giggling.

"He said, 'Everybody's together and we're all just having a wonderful time. We're having so much fun' ... and those were the last words he spoke," she recounted last week between her visits to patients of UPMC Family Hospice and Palliative Care. "I said to my mom, 'What more could we ask for than that?' Wherever he was going, he was in a good place and happy."

Her father's sense of a final party with whoever it was — she's still not sure who — occurred shortly before Roncevich became a hospice nurse. In that field, she's become accustomed to hearing of such positive encounters from her patients — or from their relatives who describe what the patients told them.

"It's always a calming experience. I have never come across an experience that it was scary," said Roncevich, 48. "Another thing they experience is that, even in an unconscious state, their arms will lift up as though taking someone's else's hand, and their mouths will move as though speaking to someone."

Full story:
https://www.indianagazette.com/news/near-death-seeing-dead-people-may-be-neither-rare-nor/article_611eedbf-2ce6-5af7-bea9-a7887c478bf7.html

[dalton99a]

1. A very common occurrence. Question: Why don't they see living people?

[left-of-center2012]

2. "Why don't they see living people?"

I worked hospice for a number of years and some of my patients saw or heard 'dead people';
some heard music "from up there" (pointing upward)
but they also saw me and would tell me what they saw or heard.

One man saw a woman sitting on the couch and he'd ask me
"Who is she? She looks like she's waiting for something."

[Orsino]

9. I don't doubt that they do. This story, for instance, can't specify.

The dying fellow seemed to be conflating the voice of a living loved one with whomever he was picturing. He may have been grooving on a memory or a fantasy. He may have been extrapolating from an emotion felt as his brain was dying.

But I dearly wish I could see certain dead loved ones, and don't doubt that were I aware that I was dying, I would be wanting that even more.

I doubt it's a mystery. I think that some of us are just lucky enough to have a positive emotional state when we go, that many more are not, and that most just see what they think they ought to see.

[dalton99a]

10. It seems they see both - from Scientific American:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/vivid-dreams-comfort-the-dying/

Vivid Dreams Comfort the Dying
Memorable visions at the end of life are more than just delirium
By Emma Badgery on November 1, 2014

Right before dying, many people experience vivid and meaningful dreams and visions, according to accounts across cultures and throughout history. Yet little scientific research has investigated the phenomenon. A new study in the American Journal of Hospice & Palliative Care, the first study to focus primarily on the patient's perspective, found that most of these dreams are a source of personal comfort. They bring about a sense of peace, a change in perspective or an acceptance of death, suggesting that medical professionals should recognize dreams and visions as a positive part of the dying process.

Researchers at Daemen College and at Hospice Buffalo, an agency of the Center for Hospice & Palliative Care, studied 63 patients admitted to the hospice over a period of 18 months. Investigators interviewed patients daily, asking them about any dreams and visions and taking down detailed descriptions of them. Most participants reported experiencing at least one dream or vision, memorable in much more clarity than other dreams or delirious episodes and characterized by an impression of realism and emotional significance. The researchers' analysis revealed six categories that encompassed all the dreams—often participants saw deceased loved ones waiting for them, for example. As patients approached death, they tended to transition from dreaming about living people to dreaming about the dead, which the patients described as more comforting.

The overarching theme that emerged from the study was that end-of-life dreams and visions are a source of comfort. Previous studies have come to similar conclusions: a survey of hospice nurses in 2013 found that 89 percent believed these experiences were associated with calm and peaceful deaths. Yet medical professionals tend to discount predeath dreams and visions, according to physician Christopher W. Kerr, one of the study's co-authors. He says that most doctors offhandedly attribute these incidents to delirium or the side effects of medication.

The researchers believe that such a dismissive attitude toward dying patients' experiences can be detrimental to their mental health. “We need to treat the patient, not only the disease; overall quality of life at the end of life is important,” says Pei C. Grant, director of research at Hospice Buffalo. She and her colleagues suggest that families and practitioners talk about dreams with patients—who are often excited to share their dreams when asked about them. Doing so allows patients to review their life, process feelings about death and come to terms with past experiences. “Just being there and listening—that's really what the patient wants,” Grant says. Acknowledging the personal significance of these end-of-life experiences may help patients and families through the difficult transition from dying to death.

....

[Orsino]

11. I've wondered what survival value this tendency would have.

If it's a feature and not a bug, it could be that vivid dreamers who can communicate with their clans reinforce religious belief, which unifies groups and enhances cooperation.

[Itchinjim]

3. My dad had a NDE after a major surgery. He was in the ICU

And one point he crashed and during the NDE he saw his older brother and a childhood friend, both of whom had died the previous summer, standing at the foot of his bed. He didnt talk to them, but he said they made him feel at peace. He lived another five years or so, and died peacefully surrounded by his family.

[SweetieD]

4. Yeah. My mother was in palliative care and told us she saw a little girl sitting on the end of

her bed. We didn't really say anything. It was too spooky. She was not scared when she said it. She ended up going into a coma that night and passing away a few days later.

[Achilleaze]

5. This has been a human experience throughout history

Some people kiss it off. Others accept what their faculties reveal, and kiss off the fixed skepticism of the fearful.

[Siwsan]

6. Just before she lost her ability to speak, my sister said she heard our dad and our brother

Our brother died in 1976, and dad in 1999. And the way she talked about this was as if she was fully expecting to hear from them. When she died, I spent the night at her house (she died at home, early in the morning). Just as I was falling asleep I hear a loud knock on the wall, up by the ceiling. Then, for just a brief moment, I was surrounded by the scent that she wore.

English was not the first language of my maternal grandmother but it was her primary language for most of her life. As she lay dying, at age 83, she would look past everyone and carry on very animated conversations with someone, in her 'mother tongue'.

[peekaloo]

7. This happened with my father.

He had Alzheimer's and toward the end rarely spoke. A couple of days before he died he blurted out my brother's name. My brother had died the previous year, so when my sister asked him , "What about (brother's name)?", he replied "We're walking down the road". Totally freaked out my sister. The next day my dad was cooperative and in rather good spirits (considering his condition) but succumbed to a medical issue the following day.

[Coventina]

8. This happened with my great aunt the last few days of her life. n/t