My husband, the perfect mom

[Renew Deal]

(Parenting.com) -- Baby Abe won't nurse. Despite the fact that I've successfully breastfed his three siblings, despite the efforts of his pediatrician and two lactation consultants, this baby will not suck. Were he a Stone Age baby, born to a nomadic hunter-gatherer tribe, he would have long since been left out for the saber-toothed tigers and prehistoric wolves. He's lucky he was born to a 21st-century mom who refuses to give up.

Or is he? Might 4-month-old Abe be more content if I just stopped the daily battles over the breast? Wouldn't I be? I've been mulling this over lately, as I sit in an exhausted fog at three in the morning, strapped to my breast pump.

While I enjoyed nursing Abe's sisters and brother well enough, I never found it to be the glorious exemplification of all things maternal that some women feel it to be. And although I understand that breast milk is the best food for my baby, I'm not one of those moms who consider formula a bare step away from strychnine. Anyway, I can certainly pump my milk for him, even if he drinks it only from a bottle. So why is it that I can't seem to stop this nursing business? It's my husband's fault.

The reason I refuse to give up on the possibility of nursing Abe is that breastfeeding is the only thing I can do that his father can't. My husband is the feminist's fantasy dad. He changes diapers, does middle-of-the-night feedings, cleans the house, constructs elaborate Lego structures, pitches baseballs, and plays a mean game of Uno. About the only thing he doesn't do is laundry. And he'd do that, too, if I didn't feel like something in this house had to be my responsibility.
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http://www.cnn.com/2012/01/03/living/husband-is-perfect-mom-p/index.html

[BlancheSplanchnik]

1. Take little Abe to Olive Garden. n/t

[Raine1967]

2. This is the 2nd time I have seen such a strange reference to the Olive Garden & breast milk

could you please explain this? What am I missing?

[MicaelS]

5. Breastfeeding Mother Asked to Leave Olive Garden

http://ecochildsplay.com/2009/08/19/breastfeeding-mother-asked-to-leave-olive-garden/

"In Michigan City, Indiana, the mother of a breastfed 11-month-old was asked to leave an Olive Garden restaurant after she refused to give her baby lunch in the bathroom.

Margaret Naas said her daughter Katie wanted to eat shortly after she’d ordered. She said she pulled half of her halter top down to feed the baby.

Soon, the manager (a woman) cited other customer complaints and offered her use of the restroom to feed her child."

[joeglow3]

13. That is over 2 and a half years old.

[WCGreen]

9. Crack me up....

I remeber the war in the Lounge of all of this...

[BlancheSplanchnik]

10. :D

I missed most of that, but even still, the joke lives on!

[Nye Bevan]

3. "Feminist fantasy dad"? I did all that stuff and neither my wife nor I bragged about it.

I thought that was just what fathers do.

[Renew Deal]

4. Probably what they do now

I don't know about the old days.

[snooper2]

7. All my friends who are dads along with myself do all that is described...

I looked up the author expecting her to be 80 or something only to find she's 48 LOL

[TwilightGardener]

6. This might have had more impact circa 1965. Nowadays, I would think most women

EXPECT men to act like fathers, and adults, and take care of shit at home.

[Chemisse]

11. It still surprises me how many fathers DON'T

do all that. There are many who cling, conveniently, to the meme that the man is king of the castle, which means the wife is in charge of doing all the household and parenting work. It sickens me.

[Turbineguy]

8. This Lady is on the right track.

When I was born in 1951, breastfeeding had been declared unfashionable. I was given regular cows milk. I became deathly ill and had two major intestinal resections that disfigured me for life. I was sent home to die. My Mother tried everything (except breastfeeding). Finally somebody came up with the idea that I might be allergic to cows milk.

As it turned out, the operations were botched and I still had occasional blockages which were finally fixed 20 years ago. The Surgeon then also did some nice work at cleaning up the scar. I now no longer look exactly the same from the front as from the back!

Medicine has luckily come a long way since 1951, but as watching the GOP teaches us, never underestimate the power of bullshit!

[lumberjack_jeff]

12. Good dads do those things.

I did and I'm certainly no fantasy, feminist or otherwise.

[bemildred]

14. It's not a competition between Mom and Dad to see who's the best parent.

That is definitely not what is best for little Abe.

And you can do at least one other VERY IMPORTANT thing I can think of, that us guys absolutely cannot.

My own experience is that a happy Mom and baby are far better than unhappy but politically correct Mom and baby. Breast feeding is very important, esp. at first, but it's OK to give up if it's making everybody miserable.