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Fri Sep 14, 2018, 09:22 AM

Aggravating my MAGA sister in law sister

Stopped at store on my way home and ran into. My sister in laws sister now here is a woman who told me that trump will clean up all the bums on welfare. Even though her one daughter has had three children on Pennsylvania welfare system, and is in no hurry to go to work. I guess she meant all the blacks and Hispanics that are on welfare. So this morning she stopped me at the deli I heard my name. And Iím like shit itís her. So she goes I need that chili recipe the chili you gave my sister and your brother was awesome.

Now my brother doesnít know how to cook but I said I cannot give out the recipe it was my grandmothers. And the woman my grandma made chili but I just made the recipe story up. I just go by taste and add what I think. So this morning I said I was sworn to promise that Iíd never give out grandmas chili recipe I just made it up I was never made to promise. So I said my grandmother made me promise. And I told her this and her husband in the store grandmother made me promise.

1- never marry a whore

2- never vote republican

3- donít give out the family chili recipe.

I said I gotta go have good day ,And I headed to the checkout lane.

36 replies, 4781 views

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Arrow 36 replies Author Time Post
Reply Aggravating my MAGA sister in law sister (Original post)
TEB Sep 14 OP
MLAA Sep 14 #1
lagomorph777 Sep 14 #3
smirkymonkey Sep 14 #2
MaryMagdaline Sep 14 #4
magicarpet Sep 14 #5
Girard442 Sep 14 #6
TlalocW Sep 14 #7
salin Sep 14 #33
MichMary Sep 14 #8
lame54 Sep 14 #10
FreeState Sep 14 #35
lunasun Sep 14 #9
LakeSuperiorView Sep 14 #11
True Blue American Sep 14 #17
LakeSuperiorView Sep 14 #19
True Blue American Sep 14 #22
LakeSuperiorView Sep 14 #30
appleannie1943 Sep 14 #29
Totally Tunsie Sep 14 #31
appleannie1943 Sep 15 #36
mountain grammy Sep 14 #12
packman Sep 14 #13
Canoe52 Sep 14 #14
Pepsidog Sep 14 #15
Ohiogal Sep 14 #28
Squaredeal Sep 14 #16
True Blue American Sep 14 #18
TNNurse Sep 14 #20
sprinkleeninow Sep 14 #23
sprinkleeninow Sep 14 #26
MineralMan Sep 14 #21
Towlie Sep 14 #24
Vinca Sep 14 #25
Ohiogal Sep 14 #27
DFW Sep 14 #32
Dem_4_Life Sep 14 #34

Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 09:45 AM

1. And for heaven sakes.. never, ever give the chili recipe to a republican w...... 😉

Way to go, TEB!

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Response to MLAA (Reply #1)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 09:48 AM

3. Or....give out a slightly altered version of it.

For example, would it seem odd to your SIL if the recipe called for 1/2 pound of chili powder?

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 09:47 AM

2. Heh, Heh!

Good for you TEB!

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 10:09 AM

4. Chili is for winners

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 10:11 AM

5. Ex Lax is a wonderful flavor enhancer like MSG.

Two cups of Ex Lax and five boxes of prunes makes a nice vegan chili.

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Response to magicarpet (Reply #5)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 10:12 AM

6. Damn, you got there ahead of me.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 10:16 AM

7. A good trick to play

When it comes to cookies, especially lemon-flavored cookies is to give out a recipe that can't possibly work. In Penn and Teller's, "How to Play with Your Food," they have a lemon cookie recipe that explodes by step four when you add baking soda to the mixture followed by lemon juice (think baking soda volcano). I sent it out on email one April Fools to some friends, about 25% of them tried it. Got some death threats back, followed by good trick after they had cooled off plus a lot of, "I'm gonna give this to a friend!"

I've only had one friend look at the recipe and figure out what would happen, telling me, "Oh, that's so mean! Give me a copy of that."

TlalocW

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Response to TlalocW (Reply #7)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 02:20 PM

33. This made me cry

from laughing so hard.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 10:17 AM

8. Why?

Just to be an asshole?

In that case, congratulations.

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Response to MichMary (Reply #8)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 10:39 AM

10. I'm with you - weird story

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Response to MichMary (Reply #8)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 03:22 PM

35. Agree 100%

what a waist of time and energy.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 10:31 AM

9. Lol . Great post TEB Signed in just to rec your post


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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 10:46 AM

11. Wouldn't matter anyway.

Anyone can cook your chili recipe, but no one can make your chili. You hit on the reason, you adjust it on the fly for the current ingredients and conditions. My mom is a great cook, but she learned from her mother and grandmother that you add ingredients "until it is right". The only way to learn that is to do it, many times until you know what is "right" for something that is half cooked. My sisters , my brother and I didn't learn her cooking skills sadly. I'm an OK cook when I want to cook, but I rarely really cook as I'm only feeding myself. Good recipes make much more food than I need and I hate wasting food.

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Response to LakeSuperiorView (Reply #11)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 11:29 AM

17. Almost anything you cook

Is done by trial and error. You know when it is right.

Although they tell you baking is precise,it seldom is. I know the minute a cake is ready to come out of the oven by smell alone. Moist. One minute over can make a cake dry.

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Response to True Blue American (Reply #17)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 11:42 AM

19. You would trigger my brother with that word. He hates the word "moist".

So, of course, I use it whenever a cake is mentioned.

Yup, I seldom check the oven until I smell the right smells. I've thought of capturing my Mom's recipes by weighing all the ingredients prior to her starting to cook and getting the amounts by subtraction afterwards, but between adding things on the fly and using them for other things during, I've given up. Add in the complications from adding stuff at multiple points in the process and there's little chance of getting a successful recipe just by writing stuff down.

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Response to LakeSuperiorView (Reply #19)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 12:00 PM

22. He would hate my cakes then.:)

I seldom get a piece to take home.

Perhaps you could make him a Peanut Butter pie!

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Response to True Blue American (Reply #22)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 01:51 PM

30. He likes moist cake, just hates the word "moist".

Apparently that is a thing.

http://mentalfloss.com/article/64984/science-behind-why-people-hate-word-moist

Always thought my little brother was a little weird.

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Response to LakeSuperiorView (Reply #11)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 01:41 PM

29. I was 11 when I came home from school to find a note that said, Aunt Lottie is sick, make waffles

for supper. I called my mom and asked how to make waffles. Her reply. You have watched me.

Put enough flour in a bowl to make enough. Add a handful of sugar, pour baking powder in your hand until it looks to be enough, add a good pinch of salt. Put 4 egg yolks in another bowl and beat in enough milk to make it thin enough. Melt some butter and stir in. Beat the egg whites and fold them in.

I made waffles and that is how I have cooked ever since. If I look at a recipe it is just to see what goes into something, then I close the book and make it by how much I need and taste, add taste.

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Response to appleannie1943 (Reply #29)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 02:00 PM

31. One of my favorite memories was watching my grandmother cook and bake.

She had a big family of big eaters. Uncle Stan was a giant with hands the size of hams.

"Baci" would make a deep dish apple pie every day, baked in a lasagna pan. It was wonderful. Her flour measuring was to put the bag of flour under her arm and pump her elbow to force the flour out until "enough". She added sugar by the hand, and spices by sight. It was an honor to be her assistant and apple peeler. I doubt she ever owned a measuring cup.

Uh Oh, now I'm craving her homemade noodles <sigh>.

Unfortunately, my mother never watched her enough, and didn't inherit Baci's skills.

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Response to Totally Tunsie (Reply #31)

Sat Sep 15, 2018, 09:13 AM

36. It is pretty much a lost art.

I have 3 grand daughters, ranging between 19 and 25 that come and spend their vacations at our house. Each time one of them is here for a week, it is to learn how I make something. When one of them arrives, they have a list of what they want to know in their hand.

Being raised in the country, all 4 of my 'girls' know how to can too.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 10:48 AM

12. Love it! you made my day!

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 10:55 AM

13. Should have given her a "Fake" recipe and then---

when it didn't turn out right you could have said, "What else could you expect from a Fake anything?"

Side note: My mother was a great cook who could never, ever explain how her recipes - great cookies and bread , for example - came out so wonderful. She said you add and take away until it feels and looks right.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 11:15 AM

14. Nice!

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 11:21 AM

15. My Trump loving brother in law informed me yesterday that the drug cartels wanted Hillary to win.

My brother-in-law isnít book smart but a very good business man. He is very wealthy but his mind is polluted. He denies watching Fox but that is a lie. His common theme is that Dems are going to come and take his money. He took over his Father's construction company but begrudges anyone who may need help from the govt. I point out that my wifeís Father died when she was 3 years old in 1965 and she and her mother lived on his social security. My wife is a successful sales executive and has paid back social security 10 times over. Itís pure ignorance on his part. All wealthy righties fear the same thing, the govt will take their money and redistribute it to others. This is the Fox mantra

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Response to Pepsidog (Reply #15)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 01:12 PM

28. To Pepsidog

I have right wingers in my family. You are absolutely correct about their main fear.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 11:23 AM

16. When I was looking...

My only prerequisite was that she not be a Republican.

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Response to Squaredeal (Reply #16)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 11:32 AM

18. You know that is sad.

I have lost many friends because they are such rabid right wingers.waste of time.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 11:44 AM

20. Wish I could use one of those applause emojis here.

Excellent job.

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Response to TNNurse (Reply #20)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 12:27 PM

23. I'll donate:

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Response to TNNurse (Reply #20)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 01:03 PM

26. Now I realize you meant in the subject line, yes? 👏

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 11:53 AM

21. I learned to cook by watching my mother

while I was doing my homework at the kitchen table. She almost never consulted a recipe. I watched her. I asked a few questions. She was good at explaining why she did things as she did them.

Later, when I was out on my own, I started cooking, and all those lessons made learning how to do it a lot easier.

Now, I cook like my mother. I never look at recipes and just make food the way I want it to be. However, if someone asks me for a recipe for something I've served them, I can provide it. My written recipes are long and detailed. Some of my friends have made things from those long, detailed recipes, and they came out just fine.

I've learned that I can write my secrets into a recipe, but it makes those recipes long and detailed. Not everyone wants that.

The last major recipe I wrote up was one for a seafood pasta dish I made for close friends. One of them asked for the recipe. It took me most of the next day to write it all down. There was an entire page on preparing the sea scallops that were part of the dish. The entire process takes less than five minutes, but everything about it is absolutely crucial. I had to write down why it was done that way and why it was important not to vary from the process.

My friend said, "I could never make this." Knowing her, I think she's probably right. There's more to it all than just a recipe.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 12:56 PM

24. Offer her Penn Jillette's Swedish Lemon Angels recipe instead.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 12:59 PM

25. Give her the recipe but add a healthy amount of ghost pepper to it.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 01:09 PM

27. LMAO! Love it!!!

I'll bet her expression as you headed to the checkout lane was priceless!

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 02:10 PM

32. Ah, yes, the three rules to a life of peace and tranquility!

I'd have these posted back at my HQ in Dallas, but people are allowed to carry guns back there.....

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2018, 02:59 PM

34. Perfect!

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