OMMFingG! The guy who killed the Sac deputy yesterday almost killed me in 2002

[ghostsinthemachine]

OMMFG! The guy who allegedly shot the Sac County Sheriff yesterday is Anton Moore. A light skinned AA male. A guy named Anton Moore, a light skinned AA Male (19 then in 2002) was one of the guys who tried to kill me during a botched pot robbery (my step sons deal). That Anton Moore put a gun to my head, and pulled the trigger (gun jammed). That Anton Moore sued me for 2 million dollars (didnt win, he sued me, but meant to sue my stepson).

Wonder if its the same guy? I tell ya, I feel lucky as fuck right now.

I wrote that when they released his name. Turns out it is him.

https://www.sacbee.com/news/local/crime/article218601055.html

https://www.kcra.com/article/sheriffs-deputy-dies-after-shooting-in-rancho-cordova-suspect-identified-as-anton-lemon-moore/23288745

WHY DID HE SUE ME?
All the kids lied about what it was about. Said Anton and his compadre were there to steal my posters or my stereo. Anton sued me because he was a rap music promoter, came to my house to buy some posters (assuming I was a poster manufacturer, and had rap posters). We, the kids, robbed him and the 8 months he spent in jail awaiting trial, cost him his rap music management career. He got off in trial. He looked like a gang banger when he tried to kill me, but looked like Bill Cosby at the trial. The PD made me out a racist. Humiliating experience. None of the kids, (EXCLUDING MY STEP-SON) ALL OF WHOM were subpoenaed, testified. Wish I'd have never answered..

I CAN'T GET OVER IT, cant forget it. Right now I am shaking. I've got a LOT of guilt over him getting off in my case. A LOT of guilt. I couldn't identify him in court. I just wasn't sure. A year had gone by and I only saw him for a few seconds. He looked way different too. The public defender questioned me along racial lines, making me a racist. Ill never testify again, that's for sure. iVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT SINCE IT HAPPENED. I'VE ASKED MYSELF IN COURT, "DO I TELL THE TRUTH AND THE GUY WALKS OR IS 80% GOOD ENOUGH?".

There's a lot of guilt within me right now. What if I had identified the guy in court? I was pretty sure, 80-90 percent sure, but I wasn't positive he was the gunman. I knew he was part of it, but not him shooting the couch in the back room or trying to kill me. I couldn't see in the back room, except a hand holding a gun, and later I was face down when he said "hoopty This mother fucker" and pulled the trigger. There were two of them, but only Anton got busted. And I let him off. Lot of guilt. Should I have identified him even though I wasn't 100% sure?

[MLAA]

1. Wow. My opinion, for what it's worth, is if you weren't sure, you couldn't say you were.

Take care of yourself. Sending you supportive energy.

[femmedem]

2. I'm going to tell you something that helped me when I didn't prevent my fiance's suicide:

"You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time."

If you were sure, you would have identified him. You're too good of a person to lie and possibly falsely identify someone.

You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time.

[ghostsinthemachine]

3. Great, the nightmare is back

I get them a few times a year, a recreation of that dats events. I had one last night. I always wake as he points the gun. Terrifying. I shake uncontrollably. Had one last night and until he washes out of the news I will be reminded. Ive dealt with it for 16 years, I hope it doesn't fill my brain in my last few months on earth.

[worstexever]

5. I don't know if you know this, but...

Last edited Wed Sep 19, 2018, 06:20 PM - Edit history (1)

Your stepson worked for 5 years at Walmart with the LE officer who was killed.

[ghostsinthemachine]

6. Wow, even weirder...

Such a fucked up deal. Im having to recount the whole thing over again. What if? Sure Drews having the same thing. Too weird.

[worstexever]

7. Are you interested in speaking with a Sac Bee reporter about this?

She's tried to contact me and I don't know much about it, as I wasn't there.

[ghostsinthemachine]

8. No.

[Lee-Lee]

4. You can second guess yourself to death

One thing I learned as a Deputy is that you have to do the best you can, trusting your judgement in the moment, and be in peace with that.

Because you imagine had you done this or that different things would have been better or different. But don’t hang up on that, because you can’t know that. Maybe it would have been better, but maybe far worse instead. You can’t know that.

Just know that in the moment and time you did the best of your ability and judgement. Everything else was what happened because of choices other people made.

In this case, he made his choices. You were a small blip on the radar of his history, and you are not to blame here.

[joshcryer]

9. Don't worry about it you did the right thing.

If you had doubts because of their manipulations it's not in any way your fault. Human memory is a fickle thing.

This guy is clearly a sociopathic murderer, had he gone to jail over your case I think he would've been out by now, and he almost certainly would've killed someone eventually. I know that doesn't make you feel better in any way, but that's how it is.

Please seek counseling for this my friend and work on the guilty feeling. It's legit not your fault. You're a good human even if there was some stuff in your past.

[ghostsinthemachine]

10. Fuck. PTSD is back, huge

No escaping this. Reliving, asking the same questions, remembering things repressed. Im a fucking wreck, vomiting, shaking, cant eat... Everywhere I am, his face stares out at me, from the paper, from the TV, people asking me, telling people... (I a weird bit of weirdness, I just subscribed to the Sac Bee last week, after not subscribing for a few years). This fucking sucks. I really dont want to spend my last days on earth with this hanging over me.
Ive always been afraid I might encounter him again, in fact it is a common dream. I never thought it would be like this however.

[Ms. Toad]

11. It will pass more quickly this time, once he's out of the news cycle.

Not quite the same experience as you, but I did have my PTSD retriggered about 20 years after being raped. Once the trigger resolved, my body knew how to walk through the healing process much more quickly the second time.

[ghostsinthemachine]

12. I hope so.

Im trying to hold on in regards to my cancer, and this is like a huge setback. Pain unbearable, vomiting etc...

[ghostsinthemachine]

13. Around here, this is THE STORY

Going to be a while before this goes away.

[Ms. Toad]

15. Sorry.

Try to hang on - one day, hour, minute at a time.

[Separation]

14. I dont want to presume you have been to PTSD therapy.

It, like everything else, varies from person to person. I had major PTSD issue in relationship to some deaths that I was exposed to while serving. The type of therapy they treated me with, was exposure therapy. Its horrible while going through it, but afterward, it does help in the end.

I would liken it to watching a scary movie. When we are first exposed to it, it scares the living shit out of us. However after watching it10, 15,20 times it gets easier. Its never "fixed", but it got me to a point to where I can go into public places, and be around other people. I can only hope and wish you well on your own personal journey. I've been lucky, feel free to DM me for anything.