Back then, my parents thought what others thought about the family was very important.
My parents were not 'old' money and felt they had to join fancy clubs and get along with these people in order to 'belong'
It was sad. For years, people of any color or the "wrong" religion could not get membership.
One day we were going for an ice cream cone and my mother was aghast that I would wear jeans .. "what would the neighbors think?" So I put on my best three piece suit and as we were going out to the car, I asked my neighbor "We're going for an ice cream cone. Am I dressed ok? My parents were worried about what you might think. .." The guy looked at me quizzically. My mother went beet red with embarrassment.
Another time, I declared I was going to throw a baseball in the backyard. My mother said "It's Sunday. You can't do that. What would the neighbors think?" So I went outside and yelled really loudly "Neighbors!! We're going to play a little baseball. You're welcome to join us. Speak now or forever hold your peace!!"
My embarrassed mother sent me to my room.
I was very conflicted about joining the church. So I declared the Bible as the elective book I would study as a history book for my history class. I concluded that it was a book of theology but failed as a history book due to many historical inaccuracies. From that, I did not want to join our church. This was family blasphemy "what would the neighbors think?" I didn't care what they thought but my mother sure did. So did the other parents. Their kids blackmailed them into giving them thousands of dollars or a ski trip or a car in order for them to go along with joining the church. I thought that was wrong and something I would never do to my folks. I just flat out wanted nothing to do with that church and did not want to stand with blackmailing kids at the alter of a church. I went to the minister and confirmed that he knew kids were getting paid off by their parent to join. My father begged me to go through with it anyway to give him peace with my mother. I tried. Couldn't get the words out (lie) to the congregation. After the confirmation service, when the minister was handing out the bibles in front of the congregation, I asked "Is the parable about parents buying their kids cars, ski trips or giving them thousands of dollars to join the church when they didn't believe in God in this bible - because I sure couldn't find it in my copy!!" Everyone dashed for the exits. My mother claimed "you ruined our church!!" I responded "No Mom, your church was messed up long before I got there. All I did was expose it."
I severed all ties to that church and the country clubs and my private school alumni. But that mentality still exists to this day. They're so worried about what others think, I doubt they can ever fully enjoy their lives. It's pretty f***ed up and disgraceful.
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