On the Distorted Logic of Men and Boys
I had a school friend who was severely hazed when he went out for Football at my high school. He dropped out of the team due to it. After a time, his story became public and an investigation ensued. As a band geek, rather than an athletic type, I remember being surprised at what I heard.
The junior and senior class members, the boys who were about to graduate had an excuse for the hazing. They said, "Well we went through it, so everybody should have to go through it." Apparently, it was a "tradition" to harass, abuse, and even sexually assault new team members with foreign objects.
In the end, the coach got fired over this, because he knew of it and didn't stop it. He, too, said things about tradition and the importance of "initiations" to build team spirit. I remember thinking, at the time, that that kind of "spirit" tends to have a life of its own, and only those who share the sort of vindictive, abusive mindset of those who carried out those hazing rituals survive to stay on the team.
It's self-perpetuating. It's OK, because people have survived it, so we should keep doing it because, well, "tradition."
There's some of that in play with adolescent and even adult mistreatment of women. Those who do that teach it to the next group of boys, and it perpetuates itself. It's related to hazing, in the sense that it makes no sense whatsoever.
I've heard that there are hazing rituals for school bands, too, but we had none of that in any musical group I was in. For my last two years of high school, I was the Drum Major for our band. Why? Because I was tall and skinny and fit into the available uniform, mostly. But, it was a leadership position, because the band director found marching band to be a stupid thing. So, I read books about it, learned how to do it, and tried to rise to the occasion. It was fun and a very good experience.
I learned from the Drum Major who came before me. As a freshman band member, I remember him telling the other older band members that they needed to help the new members learn how to march, to stress the importance of practice, and to support them in becoming active, accomplished members of the group. When I became Drum Major, i carried on that tradition.
Some traditions are good ones. Others, like sports team hazing and treating women badly, need to be eradicated. Leadership is needed. Sadly, it seems that the only leadership that is available is made up of people who want new members to be treated as badly as they were at an earlier time. That's the wrong kind of leadership, I think.
We need to do better!
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