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Thu Oct 4, 2018, 09:15 AM

My 88 year old mother just told me her own personal "me too" story

I'm still in shock. Without going into detail, she was in high school at the time and it was a prominent person in her small town that attempted to have his way with her. He was her boss at the time. She never told her parents. The only person she ever talked to about it was her friend, and the only reason it came up was because her friend warned her several days later that it had happened to her too.

At one point she said she had to hold on for dear life while he attempted to pull her out of a car! When I asked her why she never told anyone, she said she didn't think it would matter because nothing actually happened, totally ignoring the fact that something had happened! She had been physically assaulted whether there had been sex or not.

I never knew this had happened to my mother. I am totally pissed. It's a good thing the perpetrator has long passed away or I'd be in the car right now heading his way.

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Reply My 88 year old mother just told me her own personal "me too" story (Original post)
Ohioboy Oct 2018 OP
anarch Oct 2018 #1
alwaysinasnit Oct 2018 #6
The_jackalope Oct 2018 #8
qwlauren35 Oct 2018 #2
Ohioboy Oct 2018 #3
qwlauren35 Oct 2018 #4
BumRushDaShow Oct 2018 #5
Doitnow Oct 2018 #7
LittleGirl Oct 2018 #9
Nitram Oct 2018 #10

Response to Ohioboy (Original post)

Thu Oct 4, 2018, 09:32 AM

1. been trying to think of any female I know who hasn't been a victim of some kind of sexual assault

or harassment/attempted assault/being creeped on or taken advantage of somehow or other. I can't think of a single fucking one. In a lot of cases, the physical/sexual aspect wasn't "completed" if you take my meaning...but honestly, the majority of women I've been close to have told me they'd been full-on molested or raped at some point in their lives, most of them when they were children. Maybe it's just my circle of acquaintances, but given the published statistics regarding sexual assault, and knowing that the vast majority of such assaults go unreported....well, I don't think the people I know are special in this respect.

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Response to anarch (Reply #1)

Thu Oct 4, 2018, 02:05 PM

6. I totally agree. The number of survivors finally speaking out about their experiences, on the one

hand, is very encouraging, but at the same time, my throat clogs at the vast numbers. We all know that the vast majority go unreported, but it is becoming clearer and clearer just how vastly under-reported those numbers truly are.

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Response to anarch (Reply #1)

Thu Oct 4, 2018, 02:47 PM

8. I'm a 67 year old man.

I've been "married or equivalent" five times. Four of those women had been sexually assaulted early in life. Of all the women I've known well enough to have the conversation go to this topic, every last one of them has been sexually assaulted. Words cannot express the contempt I feel for men who leave casual trails of wreckage through women's lives.

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Response to Ohioboy (Original post)

Thu Oct 4, 2018, 09:46 AM

2. She was very brave

to share this with you.

You must have a very close connection. I am happy for you. Love her always.

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Response to qwlauren35 (Reply #2)

Thu Oct 4, 2018, 10:04 AM

3. I make sure to call her every day

We call it having tea over the phone.

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Response to Ohioboy (Reply #3)

Thu Oct 4, 2018, 10:51 AM

4. That's beautiful.

My husband used to urge me to call mom every day. I could never remember. In her last years, I saw her 3 times a week, unless work was urgent, and stayed overnight if something complicated happened. She lived to be 92 and died this past June. I keep her photo as my screen saver.

You're an awesome son.

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Response to Ohioboy (Reply #3)

Thu Oct 4, 2018, 10:56 AM

5. Keep doing that.

My mom would have been the same age this year (she died about 3 years ago) and I literally called every day for years and we discussed the news and politics (she had been a CSPAN junkie and political science major in college so she was always up on things).

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Response to Ohioboy (Original post)

Thu Oct 4, 2018, 02:41 PM

7. Times are changing. In years past, there was only one breadwinner in

the family---the father. Now most fathers have always been notorious for being quite protective of their daughters. Even if the daughter told her mother about the incident, the mother would be wary of mentioning it especially to her husband. What do you suppose his reaction would be? For sure he would retaliate---and assuredly he would be sent to jail. What would the mother do without a breadwinner if she had a number of children?

Today when women have had to work, they've at least have some kind of income----which means, some independence. And it's probably why many women can today dare to come forward.

Now that Mr. Kavanaugh's reputation has been sorely diminished, I am wondering if Mrs. Kavanaugh has a trade. It works both ways

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Response to Ohioboy (Original post)

Thu Oct 4, 2018, 05:09 PM

9. My Mother is 86 and

told me about her assault about 20 yrs ago. She was very young when it happened and it was a family member that did something to her. I had told her about mine - there were more than one against me. Her brother in law tried to rape me and she was furious and so was his wife, my mother's sister. I don't know her details but I know she mentioned it again Saturday when we spoke. She's just angry that this shit keeps happening to females all over the world and she hopes - really hopes that finally men will stop attacking women. Maybe men will keep their fucking hands to themselves. Her words.

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Response to Ohioboy (Original post)

Fri Oct 5, 2018, 10:28 AM

10. Thank you for sharing your grandmother's story.

I wish we could compile an oral history of such experiences from women of her generation. It would provide background and depth to the contemporary discussion, and confirm that this is not a recent phenomenon by any means.

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