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Mon Oct 29, 2018, 09:11 AM

Trump ignoring his role as Consoler In Chief is reminiscent

of our father on Thanksgiving Night seven years ago.

We had a tragedy. My sister had four dogs*, and one of them escaped when she went out to walk our father's dog, right before Dinner. The dog got hit by a car in the dark and the rain and died. The police returned its body to my sister and her husband. The unearthly cry of sorrow and shock still rings in my ears.

They brought in the corpse and were cradling it, crying. Reminded me of La Pieta at The Vatican. I was crying with them.

Our father (age 90) tried to distract, not comfort. He reminded my sister that she had three other dogs. I mean it. That's what he said. And what else could he say that was worse than that? Dinner's ready, let's eat!

Needless to say, Thanksgiving was canceled. My sister and BIL and their dogs and I went home, grieving and miserable.

Our father's attitude was "What's the problem? You have three dogs. I've got mine."

* My sister and her husband were unable to have children and the dogs were their FAMILY.

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Reply Trump ignoring his role as Consoler In Chief is reminiscent (Original post)
no_hypocrisy Oct 2018 OP
BigMin28 Oct 2018 #1
no_hypocrisy Oct 2018 #2
BigMin28 Oct 2018 #3
no_hypocrisy Oct 2018 #4
Tommy_Carcetti Oct 2018 #5
no_hypocrisy Oct 2018 #6
Tommy_Carcetti Oct 2018 #7
rsdsharp Oct 2018 #8
no_hypocrisy Oct 2018 #9

Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Mon Oct 29, 2018, 09:18 AM

1. Sounds like a certain family member

of mine. My husband died in a traffic accident when I was 23. A person I'm related to actually told me not to be sad. That I was young and could get married again. I haven't spoken to that person avain in all these 32 years. Heartless!

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Response to BigMin28 (Reply #1)

Mon Oct 29, 2018, 09:22 AM

2. I'm very for your loss and for you having to endure such heartlessness.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Reply #2)

Mon Oct 29, 2018, 09:32 AM

3. Thank you

I am still stunned that a person could be so callous.

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Response to BigMin28 (Reply #3)

Mon Oct 29, 2018, 09:35 AM

4. I so understand . . . . .

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Mon Oct 29, 2018, 09:36 AM

5. Some people are just pathologically bad at empathy and sympathy.

Two weeks ago we had to put our dog of 12 years down. We were told this by the vet who examined him and told us there was absolutely nothing that could be done for him.

My wife, who our dog was closest too, was absolutely beside herself and I knew she wouldn't be able to go to the vet to have it done.

I absolutely hated the notion of having to do it myself. Growing up, my pets had either gone peacefully at home or met a sudden tragic end, but I'd never before been in the position of having to go to the vet to put a pet down.

But knowing my wife couldn't handle it herself, and I didn't want my dog to be alone in his last moments, so I knew I had to go so that someone who loved him (and I did love him, even though he wasn't necessarily your typical lapdog) would be there until the end.

I was very upset myself throughout all of this--I had to wear sunglasses because I didn't want to look like I was making a scene--so I ended up going with my mother-in-law. On the way there, she basically took the attitude that "This was a hard decision to make, but I'm the only one in the family who makes those decisions and I'm the one who has to be the bad guy."

We go to the vet, I go into the room, my mother-in-law starts complaining that her allergies are bothering her and decides to leave. I stay, and the bring my dog in, and I stay with him until the very end.

It was very peaceful but still very haunting for me all in the same.

I go out to pay the bill for the procedure and we get back in the car and I drive my mother in law home.

And on the way home, she points out, totally unaffected, that the initial visit (where they examined our dog and told us there was nothing that could be done) was complimentary, so at least we didn't have to pay for that.

I mean....really. Money was the very last thing on my mind at that point.

But that's my mother-in-law. No surprise that she's a fervent supporter of Trump. And she definitely takes a very harsh realist approach towards life without exceptions.

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Response to Tommy_Carcetti (Reply #5)

Mon Oct 29, 2018, 09:47 AM

6. That's awful. Your mother-in-law appears to have never loved a dog with all of her heart.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.


I'm an atheist, but I totally subscribe to the Beatitudes, if only for example of humanity.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Reply #6)

Mon Oct 29, 2018, 09:53 AM

7. Thank you.

She's a tough one to figure out.

At certain points she talked about how it was hard for her to put her dog down years ago. But then her conversation gravitated to her sister, who is being treated for cancer, and she took an almost fatalistic tone about how certain she is if the cancer goes away it will come back, and no one else in her family wants to say that. I thought it was an unduly harsh and pessimistic attitude to take towards your own flesh and blood.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Mon Oct 29, 2018, 10:03 AM

8. Ten years ago, on Thanksgiving evening, my 97 year old aunt died.

She was my mother's older sister, and the closet thing I ever had to a grandmother. She had fallen just before Halloween and broken her hip. Surgery was successful, and she could have returned home following physical therapy, but chose a different path. In hospice for three weeks, she stopped eating after a week, and stopped drinking after two. After a few more days she lapsed into a coma, and died at about 6 PM on Thanksgiving.

My brother-in-law couldn't understand why his wife -- my sister -- was upset. "She was an old lady. What's the big deal?"

Three weeks later, he took a van to her retirement home, went to her apartment, and loaded up everything he could get his hands on, including a Waterford nativity scene. The box it was in had the address of my sister-in-law in Arizona who had loaned it to my aunt when she moved back to Iowa full time. That was 9 days before Christmas. His excuse? "They were throwing it out." He hasn't been allowed in my home since.

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Response to rsdsharp (Reply #8)

Mon Oct 29, 2018, 10:24 AM

9. Beyond words. Despicable.

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