Mom asks little boy to leave public park because she wants girls-only playtime

[Floyd R. Turbo]

A girl’s mom got a reality check from Washington Post advice columnist Carolyn Hax after she felt justified in excluding a little boy from a public playground.

The anonymous mother wrote to Hax about her “playground drama.” It seems she and other moms of daughters had unofficially claimed a local playground as their girls-only meetup place at a set time each week.

Until disaster struck and a strange mother brought her son to the public park and dared to let him slide, swing and play during their special time.

The girl’s mom asked the mom of the boy to leave and was shocked when the other woman seemed upset.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/allthemoms/2018/11/02/moms-asks-boy-leave-public-park-because-she-wants-girls-only-playdate/1857475002/

[Roland99]

1. ....

[Floyd R. Turbo]

2. Precisely!

[dewsgirl]

3. As a mom of two boys, this would have infuriated

me. I wonder how this lady is going to cope as her daughter grows up? And God help her when she has to deal with teenagers. I feel so bad for the little boy, he likely thought he had done something wrong.

[Stallion]

15. Yeah but boys are icky and have cooties

[dewsgirl]

44. True.

[jberryhill]

52. There are aerosol products for that now, so it shouldn't be an issue

[dewsgirl]

61. Hopefully this come in teenage strength, since I

have a house full almost always.

[Mike Nelson]

4. I was asked...

… to leave our local park, once. A group of campers had "taken" the park for some games. One of the camp leaders told me to leave! I said the park was public and I paid taxes. Then can buy or rent grounds, if they want a private party!

[smirkymonkey]

20. That happened to me once in one of my favorite peaceful spots in Central Park.

I was sitting there by myself at first just writing in a journal and all of sudden these dressed-up people started showing up and started sitting around me. Finally one of them asked me to leave saying that they were having a private wedding in that spot.

I was polite about it and left without any protest, but was kind of like, wait - isn't this a PUBLIC park? It was kind of arrogant of them to just expect to take over a section of a public park and restrict others from the space like they had some special right to it.

[Mike Nelson]

29. Private in public...

… doesn't compute. I would have left, if they asked nicely... or maybe said, "Great! I love weddings."

[smirkymonkey]

32. I did leave, without any protest.

I was just thinking to myself that it was kind of odd for them to "commandeer" a section of a public park for a private event.

[jberryhill]

53. Does the park rent space to private parties?

[smirkymonkey]

54. I am not sure, but if they did, it would have been noted.

I don't think they rent random spaces like that. They rent the buildings and areas such as the zoo, the boathouse, what used to be The Tavern on the Green. Not random patches of land.

[jberryhill]

55. They brought chairs?

[smirkymonkey]

56. It was a rock outcropping with benches already there.

They were built in.

[roscoeroscoe]

5. Anybody

Got that double facepalm emoji?

[Wounded Bear]

12. This goes beyond double...

[roscoeroscoe]

59. Nice!

Perfect. Do we have four?!

[Luciferous]

6. So she's raising her daughter to be an entitled jerk? Good job!

[UncleTomsEvilBrother]

7. Weird request...

...but I'm sorry. I would still have to look into the rationale behind this.

Whenever any historically marginalized group wants a free space, it is often with good reason. I'm not saying that these women are justified, but I would still like to hear more about why they want this. The article doesn't really go into it.

[Floyd R. Turbo]

9. The mother's comment:

“If she comes back, is there a better way I can approach her? This has been such a sweet time for moms and daughters and having a boy there is naturally going to change things. We live in a world where boys get everything and girls are left with the crumbs, and I would think this mom would realize that, but she seems to think her son is entitled to crash this girls-only time. I know I can't legally keep her from a public park, but can I appeal to her better nature?” the mom asked Hax.

Hax’s response:
How dare a grown adult justify stomping on the feelings of a child. And using it as some sort of “cosmic correction,” in the male-female balance is despicable, she said.

The little boy does not feel entitled to anything other than playtime at a PUBLIC park.  

“If you're going to accuse anyone of being "entitled," then ask yourself who was claiming possession of public space for her own purposes,” Hax wrote, adding if the mother wants a girls-only playdate, she can do so on private property.  

[UncleTomsEvilBrother]

10. I guess...

...the whole "public space" element does make it more of an unfair request for the mothers of the daughters.

[Dorian Gray]

60. Carolyn Hax was right

If they want a private event, hold it at one of their houses.

If I went to a public playground/park with a bunch of moms/dads and kids, and another little kid tried to join in? I would take my daughter aside and tell her to please make sure he/she feels included. Because that is the KIND thing to do. And I've worked on prioritizing inclusion and kindness for her 8 years on this earth.

[MicaelS]

17. I knew someone would post shit like this...

And try to justify what those women tried to do.

[UncleTomsEvilBrother]

19. LOL!

The very thought of a space for girls bring on profanity and vitriol.

You see my post as justification, though. so guess I can kind of see why you have to communicate with derogatory words.

[MicaelS]

21. No, what angers me is the attack on the boy.

Boys are different from girls. They are noisy and have high energy, and the result many times is they end up medicated simply for being a boy.

This boy did not do anything wrong. So do not try to portray these girls as victims because they are not.

[jberryhill]

23. It's a made up story

It’s not like advice columns have fact checkers who go and investigate what people send in.

This kind of stupid shit gets people worked up, and gets clicks.

Honestly, that people here at DU simply take shit like this at face value is the most depressing aspect of this work of fiction, and this genre of “news story” in general.

[Iggo]

26. Good point.

My reaction to the defenders of that kind behavior is still proper, though.

[MicaelS]

35. Really?

And you have proof of that?

[jberryhill]

36. Heh

Can you remind me in which park this happened?

Look at this thread. Mission accomplished.

I was in a hipster coffee shop and I overheard two guys making it up. So, there you go.

Advice columns are "entertainment" features of newspapers. They are not news. Yes, I realize that, along with comics and horoscopes, they do appear in newspapers which, ostensibly, are intended primarily to publish news (or more to the point, to earn advertising revenue).

They are not subject to any sort of journalistic practices. They are provided to make readers feel good about themselves, frequently by presenting a very mixed-up person seeking "advice" and then setting that person straight in a way that most readers would, so they can pat themselves on the back for being "right". That is how this form of morality-play-as-entertainment works.

Now, if you are a Capricorn, then you are not likely to believe anything I say today. But if today is your birthday, then you should overlook an early disappointment, because good news is coming your way this evening.

[panader0]

39. But I am not a Capricorn!

[jberryhill]

40. I'm using a different, ancient secret star map

....and on this one, you're a Capricorn.

[irisblue]

45. How is the romantic life for men with Capricorn moon?

Inquiring minds want to know

[jberryhill]

50. Not as good as you might think

Capricorn Moon is really just her "stage name", and she'll break your heart.

Although its a lot less creepy than men who have a romantic life with Sailor Moon.

[cwydro]

62. Lol!

[keithbvadu2]

58. Can you remind me in which park this happened? "

And then you don't name the imaginary "hipster coffee shop".

Good spoof!

[Iggo]

25. They treated a little boy like shit and you want to hear both sides.

See you never!

[qazplm135]

31. what an inaccurate characterization

of what happened.

[lpbk2713]

8. Mom's job may allow her very limited play time opportunites.

I suspect I could become very unpleasant if I had to deal
with people who want to monopolize a public space.

[lark]

11. Very weird mothers.

I took my kids to public parks often as there are a number of them around us. A number of times we went and there were birthday parties, but we never had one moment that was bad. My kids would just line up with the others to slide, jump on any empty swings, etc. They'd often make friends with the kids in the parties and that's both my daughter and son. That's what's normal. Now if some little boy gets too aggressive and starts pushing or shoving, that needs to be dealt with on an individual basis. But sheeesh, I feel for the boy and his mom in this story.

[jberryhill]

13. Alternate headline: "attempt to troll wapo advice column successful"

[kcr]

22. Carolyn Hax always falls for them

Her column is nothing but bait for this crap.

[Iggo]

30. LOL.

[muriel_volestrangler]

41. And yet, we can see here someone bending over backwards to justify that stance

so it would seem that some people can see it as feasible.

[jberryhill]

48. Many things are feasible

So, here's something that's always puzzled me...

What really is the premise of "Ripley's Believe It Or Not!"

Was it that all of the material was warranted to be true, or at least true to the best of Ripley's knowledge, and that if you did not believe it, well, that's just your problem?

Or was it more along the lines of "some of these are true and some of these aren't, and it's up to you to figure out which ones"?




Now, I ask you, did the Palaung Girls of Burma smoke foot long cigars through their cheeks or not? Do they still?

I mean, even to figure this out, you'd have to go off to Burma, since it's not as if Google was a thing. There were times when you just plain didn't know something, and couldn't find out on your own. There were a LOT of times like that.

But Robert Ripley and his crew scoured the planet to bring us these amazing reports, but phrased as "Believe It Or Not!"

Well, fuck, I'm as capable as the next person of believing just about damned near anything, but it's not really about whether or not I happen to believe it, the question is whether it is really true.

Hell, it was published in the newspaper, so wasn't it just as true and fact checked to the best of their journalistic ability as anything else in the paper?

[malaise]

14. What's up with these lunatics these days?

If I were the mother of the little boy, I'd be pissed

[Sherman A1]

16. One wonders

just what part of "Public" she does not understand?

[EricMaundry]

18. How special

[jcmaine72]

24. We shouldn't be cheering this.

I'll admit the mother sounds like a jerk, but the other mother might do well to raise her son to be respectful of the boundaries women put down for themselves. A mother teaching her male child that he can simply impose his presence on women or girls in ANY space they requested be their own sets a bad precedent. IMO, it perpetuates the kind of toxic masculinity (Just look at what's in the WH currently) that responsible parents should be trying to nip in the bud for the next generation.

Just saying.

[kcr]

28. Just saying, huh?

Well, two things. For one thing, it would help to actually understand what toxic masculinity is. It might have helped to spot that, number two, the story is total bullshit.

So she doesn't mention what any of the other mothers had to say about this interloper's presence. That was curious. Then she doesn't say explicitly why his presence would "naturally change things" for their group. Instead, she just spouts off generic rhetorical talking points straight off of Google. Finally, she just can't seem to understand why this mom would be so upset! Isn't it just a given that everyone knows Generic Googleworthy Rhetorical Feminist Talking Points? Lamest, most cartoonishly obvious trolling attempt, ever.

[jcmaine72]

33. That's a terrible accusation. Feel free to disagree with me if you want, but why be so dismissive

and vicious about it?

Welcome to ignore.

[jberryhill]

49. kcr is stating a perspective on the piece itself, not you

The piece is a caricature of "PC gone wild!". The abject cluelessness is intended to convey a stereotype.

When a walking stereotype appears in a source of less than "serious" reporting, such as an advice column, then one may legitimately wonder whether one's leg is being pulled.

Some people do not like having their leg pulled, or seeing other people get their legs pulled. They feel passionately about what are sometimes subtexts communicated by what amounts more to "folklore" than an account of some objective reality somewhere.

[cwydro]

64. Exactly. My first thought was that it was fake.

There are so many gullible people, even here.

[MicaelS]

37. What part of "public space"..

Do you not understand?

The mother of the boy was entirely too nice. I would have told all those mothers to fuck off.

[muriel_volestrangler]

42. If we assume this really happened, and you are assuming that, then:

1: You have no evidence whatsoever that the mom is not raising her son to be respectful. The complaining mom said nothing about any bad behaviour by the boy; she objected to his sex. Why are you attacking a woman for having a male child?

2: You talk about this woman "teaching" him that he can impose himself. He didn't "impose himself"; she took him to play in a public park. The boy didn't really have a choice about it, but it's part of normal society to play in public parks. It's not part of (western) society to impose sexual boundaries like that. In Saudi Arabia, perhaps, but I think they're progressing beyond that too...

3: There's nothing "toxic" about boys and girls playing together. It's highly irresponsible to suggest that there is, even if the whole thing was made up to troll the Washington Post.

Just saying.

[RhodeIslandOne]

63. Yes, the mother should also train her son to mindread

....and realize this mother and her brood decided to declare a public park as entirely their own.

By the way, would you be so comfortable with this if a minority mother and son were asked to leave in the same scenario? Could you believably explain that scenario not being about race?

[Takket]

27. private playtime is what private property is for.

[KayF]

34. cool story

anonymous advice seeker.

[brettdale]

38. When I was a little boy in a park

I never felt entitled, a park was a park where I could sit on a swing and go down a slide, and run
around.

[pansypoo53219]

43. i always played w/boys more.

[LBM20]

46. If it was a public park I would have told her to go piss up a rope.

[boston bean]

47. I would have told her to eff off.

[exboyfil]

51. Didn't this happen at the University of Missouri

The only difference being they were college students and faculty.

[Codeine]

57. Random person tells unsubstantiated story.

Internet predictably loses its shit.

In other news, the word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary.

[elocs]

65. Well, little boys grow up to be men and we all know how men are, right?

Maybe he would grow up to be a Republican man. Besides, men have controlled things forever now so males should learn from an early age how it is to be kept in their place.