(Pelosi) -- Expressing her excitement at the influx of newly elected progressives in Congress, Nancy

[applegrove]

"SNIP....

WASHINGTON—Expressing her excitement at the influx of newly elected progressives in Congress, Nancy Pelosi told reporters Wednesday of her plans to reenergize the House of Representatives by injecting herself with the blood of her party’s young members. “I’m really looking forward to improving the vitality of our caucus by spending lots of time with these new representatives as I slowly drain the blood from their shackled, unconscious bodies and then inject the precious liquid into my own veins,” said the current House minority leader, her eyes going completely black as she voiced her appreciation for the diverse wave of African American, Latino, Native American, and Muslim representatives, as well as for the “exquisite cocktail” of invigorating nutrients their blood would provide. “America sent a powerful message when they voted to send fresh blood to Capitol Hill, and I have heard them loud and clear. We’ve already collected 27 liters of plasma, and I pledge to use every last drop of it to renew my life force so that I can remain the top-ranking Democrat until 2075.” At press time, sources confirmed a newly spry Pelosi was on all fours frantically scrambling around the ceiling of the Capitol rotunda.

....SNIP"

https://politics.theonion.com/nancy-pelosi-planning-to-reenergize-house-by-injecting-1830442313/amp?__twitter_impression=true

[msongs]

1. and at the white house donald trump expressed his desire that she become speaker again nt

[applegrove]

4. Right. GOP hate her because she is so adept at her job on top of being likeable. And she

shows emotion for authentic reasons. They hate that.

[Celerity]

2. I so hope she is the Speaker

[applegrove]

6. Yes. Maybe some superstar future speaker was newly elected last week

and they need some time to get acclimatized. Pelosi does her job so well the GOP has ginned up hatred against her. This is swiftboating.

[RandySF]

3. I love Nancy, but she knew her days were numbered before election day

She put the party first and laid down her speakership when she fully funded nominees who promised not to vote for her.

[blogslut]

5. Palomino!

https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/nancy-pelosi/n12084

[applegrove]

8. I don't get some US content if the show is syndicated in canada. It means

the Canadian network would have the rights to put up a clip of a tv show they buy. But they never bother. Sometimes the US clips play. Sometimes not so much.

[blogslut]

13. SNL is pretty stingy with their old video clips

They manage to keep most of the older ones off YouTube.

It was the cold opening right after the 2006 election, starring Kristen Wiig as Nancy Pelosi.

The Onion piece you posted cracked me up, BTW.

[applegrove]

23. Glad you got cracked up.

[applegrove]

24. I tried to find Kristen Wiig doing Liza Menelli turning off a lamp

and it took me forever to find a clip that would play in Canada.

[Wintryjade]

7. There is the adult in the room. Of course she will be excited, supportive and encourage success

for all of our freshman.

[BeyondGeography]

9. Does anyone care or notice that this is satire?

[msongs]

10. same was noted nt

[applegrove]

11. I didn't want to call out anyone who looked like they only read the first line. I've

been known to do that too.

[BeyondGeography]

15. Yeah, me too...but usually not when the tell is boldfaced

[applegrove]

16. LOL!

[Celerity]

12. so that I can remain the top-ranking Democrat until 2075

sorta was the clincher, lolol

[UTUSN]

14. Why shouldn't she since she's a Progressive if there ever was one!1

[UTUSN]

20. I hate it when TheOnion or NotTheOnion ain't in the thread title!1 (Took off the Rec!1)

[applegrove]

21. Sorry. I am fed up with GOP hate of Pelosi winning out. Thought it might

diffuse some aggression by going dark. Pelosi is a star. She's a great communicator. She's authentic. That is why the right go after her. And made hating Pelosi a thing.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

22. but it's FAKE NEWS!!!!1

Everyone knows her eyes turn red, not black, when she's feeding.

[4now]

17. Lame

[applegrove]

19. As is the GOP campaign to tank her leadership. She shows lots of

emotion authentically. That is a danger to the whole GOP. Why if people got used to authentic leadership they might not vote for the GOP and their tales of caravans.