A lot of our friends "worry" that we will be alone on holidays.

[redstatebluegirl]

Truth is we choose it, our families are more than a little weird. The drama is intense at the holidays. I am older than my husband, and his family has always had a problem with that and they can't seem to keep it in check. We choose to visit off holiday, less drama. Both sets of parents are gone, his mom and dad and mine so we have siblings and nieces and nephews, some are a little strange.

It makes us look odd, but we have developed our own traditions and enjoy our time together, away from work and family. It is truly a peaceful time for us which is what it should be. To introduce family to that just adds a level of stress neither of us need.

Selfish, maybe, but we do what we need to in order to stay sane.

Have a peaceful holiday all.

[enough]

1. Staying sane is not selfish! Staying sane is a gift to the world.

And a peaceful holiday to you too, redstatebluegirl.

[redstatebluegirl]

2. Yes it is.

[dameatball]

3. Same to you. I think your post hits home with a lot of us. We all have different stories.

[redstatebluegirl]

9. We are we are, we are not the Waltons most people are not.

[tazkcmo]

4. I'm with you

I like my solitude and dislike large groups of people whether I know them or not. I volunteer and do something nice for people that have less than most. It's better this way. Merry New Thanxmas Year.

[redstatebluegirl]

8. Yes you too!

[MissMillie]

5. My guy and I will be home alone on Thursday

We were invited to Maine, but we're having problems w/ our car. The vehicle might make it, but if it doesn't we'd be stuck on 495 in frigid temperatures. No one needs that headache.

But we will make a day of it with a nice meal and being together with our pets.

We'll call our family members to wish them well.

We'll fix the car when he gets paid next week.

[redstatebluegirl]

11. Been there done that. Have a great day together!

[wryter2000]

6. Good for you

You should spend the holidays as you want.

I tend to ignore the holidays except that I go to church. This year I bought myself a game hen and fixings.

There's too much damned pressure to be "merry." No one can live up to the ideal.

[lostnfound]

7. I hate the holidays, nothing but bad compromises

Too many conflicts and unhappy people
Feeling responsible for the minors, you do what you have to do

[redstatebluegirl]

13. I do not hate them i just do not celebratethe way other people.

[AnotherMother4Peace]

10. If I would have gone to my niece's home after Trump got installed, it wouldn't have turned out well.

The more she drank the more Trump "won" shit came out of her mouth. I would not have been civil, and would have Ubered home. Everyone told me I was wise to stay home. I didn't go last year, and won't go this year. Instead I cook a big 25 lb turkey, keep half and give half to a family that would go without.

Thanks for this post.

[redstatebluegirl]

12. Totally understand. Good for you to share!

[elocs]

14. The upside for me in being schizoid is that I love being alone but never feel lonely.

Now that I'm retired I can pretty much do as I please. I can do the social sprint, but not the social marathon. I'm the guy in front of you in line at the store who can turn and say something funny to you about waiting in line because it only takes a moment and I'll likely never see you again. I'm a covert schizoid. I don't do holidays with my family, or what's left of them, but the perfect holiday for me would be spending it by myself, stress free.

However, this year I will go and visit my 27 year old goddaughter who looks upon me like her father because she is confined to a mental facility about 50 miles from me. I will be her only visitor and I go and see her once a week. I haven't had a motor vehicle for 4 years now but I used about half of my meager savings to buy one so I could regularly go and see her. Since she was a baby it was rare that I would miss a Thanksgiving or Christmas or birthday with her even when I had to drive 9 hours one way to see her.
But I really enjoy embracing my inner schizoid because it's who I am.
So life is good, people not so much.

[tanyev]

15. My 93 year old mother passed away in August.

For the first time in my adult life I have a Thanksgiving where we don't have to load up the car with luggage and food and hit the road. We are having pizza and watching Netflix. I'm really looking forward to it.

[MiniMe]

16. I'm with you, and I agree

I've been invited several places for Thanksgiving, and I'm staying home and watching the football games. The places I've been invited both have republicans hosting. Appreciate the invitation, but I was raised to be polite, and biting my lip and tongue all night is not fun for me.

[sarcasmo]

17. We choose alone too, more peaceful. Stuffed pork chops for two on Turkey Day.

[GulfCoast66]

18. The wife and I work on Thanksgiving. Our choice.

After work our traditional meal is from one of the best Cuban/Spanish restaurants in Florida. I made the reservations 2 months ago.

Interestingly, my wife is over 5 years older than I. Can’t imagine that even being an issue. So I can’t blame you.

[redstatebluegirl]

19. Good for you have a great day!

[Hortensis]

20. Sounds lovely, and we're headed that way.

Holidays among a lot of people are not when we are able to spend time with those we really love. This extended family is generally too well mannered to discuss anything substantive at a party and might be improved with a dash of weird.

I've enjoyed cooking for a bunch but, looking back, may have already served my last dinner ever requiring two tables with leaves installed. A gradual generational change has sped up a bunch as the next gen discover they like it and don't return my party dishes, and I've been trying out sitting with others like me and agreeing that just bringing a dish or bottle of wine suits us fine.

As for self-ish, we're usually in Florida, or traveling, these winters and increasingly disinclined to drive 800 miles to do a party, or to have a crowd join us. Last time, people had come from 5 states and someone brought the flu. Plus, our grandchildren are older now and typically having a great time with mobs of children who've reached critical numbers and I strongly suspect haven't known when we're not there... They know when it's just us.

So, headed your direction and mostly loving it. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

[TomSlick]

21. Sounds lovely. If only.....

Enjoy your holidays. I'm envious.