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Demovictory9

(32,324 posts)
Tue Nov 20, 2018, 07:31 PM Nov 2018

Door-to-door canvassers tell stories of husbands who bully, silence & control their wives votes

Door-to-door canvassers tell stories of husbands who bully, silence and control their wives into voting conservative

Progressive organizer Annabel Park told the story that made me start to wonder. “I can’t stop thinking about this woman I met while doorknocking for Beto in Dallas,” Annabel wrote on social media a few days before the midterm elections.

“She lived in a sprawling low-income apartment complex. After I knocked a couple of times, she answered the door with her husband just behind her. She looked petrified and her husband looked menacing behind her. When I made my pitch about Senate candidate Beto O’Rourke, her husband yelled, ‘We’re not interested.’ She looked at me and silently mouthed, ‘I support Beto.’ Before I could respond, she quickly closed the door.”

Annabel told me afterwards, “It’s been on my mind. Did she get beaten? That was my fear.”

-----

Wives asked their husbands directly who the two were going to vote for. Many seemed cowed. Husbands answered the door and refused to let the wife speak to canvassers, or talked or shouted over her, or insisted that she was going to vote Republican even though she was a registered Democrat, or insisted there were no Democrats in the house because she had never told him she was one. A friend in Iowa told me, “I asked the woman who answered the door if she had a plan for voting, and a man appeared, behind her, and said, quite brusquely, ‘I’m a Republican’. Before I could reply, he shut the door in my face.”

Another friend reported, “A woman I texted in Michigan told me, ‘I am not allowed’ to vote for the candidate.” Many canvassers told me those experiences were common. I did not find stories of the reverse phenomenon – wives dominating their husbands, or husbands pushing their wives to vote for the Democratic candidate. Of course I talked to people canvassing for Democrats, and domestic violence takes place across the political spectrum, but the bullying seemed to be mostly either to oblige the wife to lean to the right or to not participate at all.

“The wife spotted me and jumped up from her table to intercept me at the door before I could knock,” one canvasser from California told me.

Without saying any words, the wife softly put both hands out in front of her body, palms facing me. She moved her hands from side to side as though to tell me, “No thank you, please go away without making a noise.”


She was one of many who appeared to be afraid of their husbands.

---------


Yet another canvasser reported that one of those husbands, this time in Turlock, California, told her, “And if she needs to know how to vote, I’ll just take her in the back and beat her.” He was sort of joking but sort of not.

This ordinary, ugly scenario raises another question, about whether voting by mail takes away the privacy of the voting booth and the ability for women to act on their beliefs without consequences. And it’s a reminder of why women’s long quest for the vote in the US and elsewhere was such a radical thing. Insisting women should vote was insisting that we should be equal and independent participants in public life, with the right to act on our own behalf and in our own interests.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/nov/19/voter-intimidation-republicans-democrats-midterm-elections
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Door-to-door canvassers tell stories of husbands who bully, silence & control their wives votes (Original Post) Demovictory9 Nov 2018 OP
I wish I could say I'm surprised but I am too BigmanPigman Nov 2018 #1
An excellent answer. guillaumeb Nov 2018 #2
I think some of these "cowed" women voted for who they wanted to once in the voting booth. brush Nov 2018 #11
I would hope they did just that. BigmanPigman Nov 2018 #13
Remember the pic of Trump checking out Melania's vote? tblue37 Nov 2018 #19
Yep, I've said for years this is my main concern with voting by mail manor321 Nov 2018 #3
I definitely understand this concern. I wonder how many men wouldn't let their wives leave the house renate Nov 2018 #6
K&R ck4829 Nov 2018 #4
I have suspected many women vote the way they are told by husbands or do not vote at all. Doreen Nov 2018 #5
See my post #19 above. nt tblue37 Nov 2018 #20
Yep, that's the one. Doreen Nov 2018 #23
When I was doing phone canvassing Trumpocalypse Nov 2018 #7
I live in Ohio ...I was living in Cortland...the Obama campaign sent me to the sticks... Demsrule86 Nov 2018 #8
I'm so glad you're ok. Nt raccoon Nov 2018 #16
I can relate. NurseJackie Nov 2018 #9
K&R Scurrilous Nov 2018 #10
It's still a Raine Nov 2018 #12
Absentee votes aren't necessarily secret. Nt lostnfound Nov 2018 #15
See my post #19 above. nt tblue37 Nov 2018 #21
It's depressing to think so many women are so controlled raccoon Nov 2018 #14
Yupper,experienced many of the Comments posted. Wellstone ruled Nov 2018 #17
Many things have improved for us, but, in a lot... 3catwoman3 Nov 2018 #18
I heard 2 in one day. lindysalsagal Nov 2018 #22
While I was doing gotv phone calls recently Meowmee Nov 2018 #24
that's the real reason married women vote R. Demovictory9 Nov 2018 #25
Some of them anyway Meowmee Nov 2018 #29
i wonder if anyone is studying an increase in domestic violence amongs trumpers... samnsara Nov 2018 #26
Saw more than a few wives asking hubby's how they should vote DeminPennswoods Nov 2018 #27
I saw this at my Maine Primary polling place this summer. jpak Nov 2018 #28
Patriarchy is for dicks n/t Cal Carpenter Nov 2018 #30

BigmanPigman

(51,432 posts)
1. I wish I could say I'm surprised but I am too
Tue Nov 20, 2018, 07:36 PM
Nov 2018

aware of the real Americans and how the patriarchy is strong and thriving in the US. We are NOT as advanced socially as we like to think we are.

renate

(13,776 posts)
6. I definitely understand this concern. I wonder how many men wouldn't let their wives leave the house
Tue Nov 20, 2018, 07:52 PM
Nov 2018

... to stand in line for hours to vote. It could end up being six of one, half a dozen of the other.

I would think that the benefits of voting by mail (greater participation rates, greater ease of voting, a paper trail, time to read the voters' pamphlet to keep from getting misled by a cleverly titled ballot measure, etc) would outweigh the number of ballots that were influenced by abusive spouses. But I could be wrong.

Doreen

(11,686 posts)
5. I have suspected many women vote the way they are told by husbands or do not vote at all.
Tue Nov 20, 2018, 07:47 PM
Nov 2018

I have an extremely hard time believing that more than half of the American women voluntarily voted for an administration that wants to hurt women and their little girls. Please, bring up that picture of donald dump standing over melanoma while she votes. That picture said a lot to me.

 

Trumpocalypse

(6,143 posts)
7. When I was doing phone canvassing
Tue Nov 20, 2018, 07:53 PM
Nov 2018

for Obama in 08, I called me woman and a man answered. I identified myself and my purpose to the man. He shouted at me, I’m not letting her vote for that n****r!” and hung up.

Demsrule86

(68,355 posts)
8. I live in Ohio ...I was living in Cortland...the Obama campaign sent me to the sticks...
Tue Nov 20, 2018, 07:57 PM
Nov 2018

I refused to knock on door with confederate flags! I digress, I saw that quite often. The women mouthed they would support president Obama while the husband glowered...that was the area one man threatened to set the big dog on me...with great dignity and shaking knees, I told him it would be a shame if that happened...as he looked like a fine dog and it would be a shame to have to kill him...as I walked to the car. I could feel his eyes burning in my back the entire way...I was terrified and mad! After that my daughter stayed in the car with 911 on her phone. You meet some winners when canvassing. You only contact Democrats but some may have old registration ( become possessed by the GOP disease) or moved with new folks living in the house.

 

Wellstone ruled

(34,661 posts)
17. Yupper,experienced many of the Comments posted.
Tue Nov 20, 2018, 09:30 PM
Nov 2018

If one wants to see how the other have lives,go Canvasing,what a learning experience.

That is why I always Volunteer every two years. If there is a asshole living in any neighborhood,you can bet you will encounter said Asshole.

Meowmee

(5,164 posts)
24. While I was doing gotv phone calls recently
Wed Nov 21, 2018, 12:35 AM
Nov 2018

A woman sitting next to me told us all a woman she spoke with said she would vote for who her husband told her too😳 I had a similar experience with a man in PA I spoke to, when calling for HRC, he would not let me speak with his wife and said she votes for R etc. 🤢

DeminPennswoods

(15,246 posts)
27. Saw more than a few wives asking hubby's how they should vote
Wed Nov 21, 2018, 03:58 PM
Nov 2018

during my stint as an election judge. They were usually older couples who'd probably been raised to think that husbands know best.

jpak

(41,742 posts)
28. I saw this at my Maine Primary polling place this summer.
Wed Nov 21, 2018, 04:13 PM
Nov 2018

An elderly couple came in to vote.

When asked their party affiliation, the wife said "Independent"

Her husband immediately "corrected" her - "NO, You're a republican!"

Wife - "but I thought I was an Independent!"

"NO!, said the husband, "You're a republican!"

The wife stifled a whimper and said "I'm a republican".

Which speaks volume about the fucking KGOP.

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