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Wed Feb 13, 2019, 11:14 PM

El Chapo Says He Is Victim of Phony Witch Hunt

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In his first interview since being found guilty on all counts in his U.S. trial, the Mexican drug lord Joaquín (El Chapo) Guzmán called himself the victim of a “phony witch hunt.”

The former cartel leader made his blistering comments in a phone call to the television program “Fox & Friends,” whose hosts appeared surprised that he had somehow gained access to a phone and was able to get through to them.

“It was a phony witch hunt,” El Chapo said, of his trial. “It was a phony, rigged witch hunt, and the charges against me were fake news and a disgrace.”

Questioned whether he had worked in concert with other drug lords to bring narcotics into the United States, El Chapo said, “There was no collusion. And there was no evidence of collusion, because there was no collusion.”

But the former drug kingpin reserved his harshest words for the F.B.I. and its former director James Comey. “Lying and leaking Jim Comey is a showboat and a disaster,” he said.

Asked to give his impression of the American justice system, El Chapo said, “I think it’s very bad when someone like me, who is running a business and creating jobs and helping the economy, is harassed and treated unfairly. I think it’s a disgrace and, frankly, very sad.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/el-chapo-says-he-is-victim-of-phony-witch-hunt

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Arrow 13 replies Author Time Post
Reply El Chapo Says He Is Victim of Phony Witch Hunt (Original post)
Zorro Feb 2019 OP
dlk Feb 2019 #1
SCantiGOP Feb 2019 #2
ProudLib72 Feb 2019 #3
SCantiGOP Feb 2019 #8
ProudLib72 Feb 2019 #11
SCantiGOP Feb 2019 #12
moondust Feb 2019 #4
dalton99a Feb 2019 #5
Aristus Feb 2019 #6
C Moon Feb 2019 #7
Wounded Bear Feb 2019 #9
bdamomma Feb 2019 #10
blaze Feb 2019 #13

Response to Zorro (Original post)

Wed Feb 13, 2019, 11:25 PM

1. Aren't They All...

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2019, 12:13 AM

2. Unlock him up!

Trump/Chapo in 2020.

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Response to SCantiGOP (Reply #2)

Thu Feb 14, 2019, 12:21 AM

3. No thanks!

Now Chapo/Giuliani 2020 is something I can get behind!

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Response to ProudLib72 (Reply #3)

Thu Feb 14, 2019, 10:38 AM

8. No way

Giuliani is much too corrupt to be on the ticket.

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Response to SCantiGOP (Reply #8)

Thu Feb 14, 2019, 03:00 PM

11. El Chapo/Stormy 2020?

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Response to ProudLib72 (Reply #11)

Thu Feb 14, 2019, 04:34 PM

12. That is a ticket I could get excited about

But then I might have to donate $130,000 to keep my wife from finding out.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2019, 12:40 AM

4. El Chapo or El Chumpo?

How we supposed to tell 'em apart?

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2019, 12:48 AM

5. Good one!

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2019, 01:01 AM

6. Yeah, a lot of criminals are using the 'Witch Hunt' plea right now...



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Response to Aristus (Reply #6)

Thu Feb 14, 2019, 01:34 AM

7. :D

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2019, 10:41 AM

9. I'm pretty sure that if you ask around the typical prison...

over 90% of inmates are innocent of any crimes.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2019, 10:42 AM

10. this is disgusting

Using that phrase which is pure lies and propaganda.


There are a number of phrases that should be eliminated.

Fake news
Witch Hunt

add more if you wish

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2019, 04:38 PM

13. I guessed the Onion...

At least Borowitz picked a title that I actually recognized as satire before I clicked it!

That's hard to do these days.

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