Cohen Testimony Leaves Kim Jong Un Doubting Whether Trump Can Be Trusted
HANOI (The Borowitz Report)—The testimony of the former Trump lawyer, Michael D. Cohen, has left the North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un, concerned that Donald J. Trump “cannot be trusted,” sources close to Kim revealed on Wednesday.
Kim reportedly was glued to his television as Cohen’s testimony was beamed live to Hanoi, and his “jaw dropped” at the lawyer’s revelations about Trump’s mendacity and unethical business practices, according to the sources.
“Dear Leader became increasingly alarmed about the picture Cohen was painting of Trump,” one source said. “At one point, he turned to the rest of us and said, ‘What kind of lowlife am I dealing with?’ ”
According to the source, Kim was also disturbed by what he saw as the “stunningly disingenuous and unsavory” behavior by some of Cohen’s interrogators on the congressional panel.
“That Jim Jordan seems like a real dick,” Kim reportedly said.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/cohen-testimony-leaves-kim-jong-un-doubting-whether-trump-can-be-trusted
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