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Sat Mar 9, 2019, 11:41 PM

God Offers People of Alabama New Bibles to Replace Ones Trump Signed

MONTGOMERY, Alabama (The Borowitz Report)—God has offered to give the people of Alabama brand new Bibles to replace the ones that Donald J. Trump signed during his visit to the state on Friday.

In a rare public statement from the famously mysterious deity, God said that He was furious at Trump “for defacing My book,” calling Trump’s signature “a wanton act of vandalism.”

“Where was Mike Pence in all of this?” God asked. “These people can’t do anything right.”

God added that He was “dumbfounded” that Trump had taken it upon himself to sign his name on a book to which he had “no relationship whatsoever.”

“I’ve got news for Trump: the Bible is not ‘The Art of the Deal,’ ” God said. “Of course, he didn’t write that book, either.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/god-offers-people-of-alabama-new-bibles-to-replace-ones-trump-signed

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Reply God Offers People of Alabama New Bibles to Replace Ones Trump Signed (Original post)
Zorro Mar 2019 OP
Dem2theMax Mar 2019 #1
Mariana Mar 2019 #2
Cryptoad Mar 2019 #3
Mariana Mar 2019 #4

Response to Zorro (Original post)

Sun Mar 10, 2019, 12:41 AM

1. This reminds me of a very old DU thread.

My memory is a little fuzzy, but someone was playing the role of either Jesus Christ or God, and they started a thread offering to answer questions of posters on DU.

It was funny and very thought-provoking at the same time. I can never seem to find these old threads. If anyone remembers that particular oldie but goodie, and you can find it, please put a link on here.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Sun Mar 10, 2019, 01:43 AM

2. It's not like Trump snatched the Bibles out of their hands to sign them.

These Christians asked him to autograph their Bibles. It's unlikely the owners would ever give them up for new ones, even if God himself offered to trade.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Sun Mar 10, 2019, 02:32 AM

3. Coming out for 2020 campaign ,,,,

autographed MAGA Bibles.....

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Response to Cryptoad (Reply #3)

Sun Mar 10, 2019, 04:58 AM

4. His Evangelical Christian supporters would love that.

Seriously, since they are his most fervent supporters, selling those would be a great campaign fundraiser.

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