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sinkingfeeling

(51,436 posts)
Tue May 28, 2019, 08:55 AM May 2019

I had an abortion. Why it's none of your business.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/i-had-an-abortion-why-is-none-of-your-business/2019/05/27/c8757df8-7e64-11e9-8ede-f4abf521ef17_story.html?utm_term=.f1962b187044

What about those of us who aren’t victims? What about those who simply happened to find ourselves pregnant? Abortion doesn’t have to be motivated by trauma.

I had an abortion. I’m not going to tell you how old I was or what my circumstances were at the time. I won’t mention whether birth control was used or whether it wasn’t. I’m not going to tell you whether the guy is or is not still a part of my life, whether it was a one-night stand or a long-term relationship. I’m not going to discuss the health of either party involved in the consensual or nonconsensual sex, nor the viability of the embryo. None of those details are pertinent. I got pregnant. I didn’t want to be pregnant. I had a medical procedure to remedy the situation. Full stop.

I am an adult of sound mind and body. My government has decreed me capable of voting, of operating motor vehicles, of purchasing firearms, of paying taxes. Why is this irrational line drawn at body autonomy?

I had an abortion, and I need no one’s forgiveness. Nor should I need your permission. In defending reproductive rights, we should refrain from framing the argument around the most extreme and saintly of cases in the hope of converting more supporters. When we pander to find circumstances under which abortion becomes palatable, we dilute the simple message that body autonomy should be a right regardless of gender.
40 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I had an abortion. Why it's none of your business. (Original Post) sinkingfeeling May 2019 OP
+1,000 Brava!!!!! secondwind May 2019 #1
I totally agree with the author...the why's and details are none of our business. Lars39 May 2019 #2
K&R!! InAbLuEsTaTe May 2019 #3
I paid for an abortion. tazkcmo May 2019 #4
Absolutely! Trueblue Texan May 2019 #5
RIGHT ON. Ohiogal May 2019 #6
Free, on demand, without apology. WhiskeyGrinder May 2019 #7
K&R Solly Mack May 2019 #8
Thank you for showing the courage to share your story... Wounded Bear May 2019 #9
Thank you. PoindexterOglethorpe May 2019 #10
Phenomenal and precisely the point! Pacifist Patriot May 2019 #11
Agreed, it's nobody's business IronLionZion May 2019 #12
As a man I can only imagine how difficult a decision that is ZeroSomeBrains May 2019 #13
I'm sorry, but the whole "difficult decision" thing is just more bullshit. scarletwoman May 2019 #37
No woman needs to agonize over what is best for her ZeroSomeBrains May 2019 #39
Yes cp May 2019 #14
forcing someone to endure a pregnancy against their will is slavery unblock May 2019 #15
birth slaves. birth slavers. mopinko May 2019 #21
Yes! Thank you for posting this. PatrickforO May 2019 #16
Bravo!!! SallyHemmings May 2019 #17
Thank you. Qanisqineq May 2019 #18
I had an abortion and helped 4 others have them when it was totally illegal in our state. lark May 2019 #19
K&R. n/t rzemanfl May 2019 #20
Full stop, GOP, full stop, Christ-o-fascists. dchill May 2019 #22
Maybe the best post of the year... Ferrets are Cool May 2019 #23
+10000 redstatebluegirl May 2019 #24
BOOM! calimary May 2019 #25
Great OP malaise May 2019 #26
Amen...the choice is the woman's to make, period. Moostache May 2019 #27
Well said. iluvtennis May 2019 #28
The anti-abortion movement is like a medieval army... heckles65 May 2019 #29
I think of the women more like camp followers. And that is insulting to camp followers. demigoddess May 2019 #30
Thank you, well said. wendyb-NC May 2019 #31
I agree with this writer 100%. Nitram May 2019 #32
Damn straight! BigmanPigman May 2019 #33
Excellent statement & n.b. the Repugs are moving the window to only "rape,incest, life of mother." stuffmatters May 2019 #34
I wish the GOP would get it through their thick heads that they do not control what women Vinca May 2019 #35
100% bluescribbler May 2019 #36
My how the Republicans have changed .... Shoonra May 2019 #38
Why it's none of my business Harker May 2019 #40

Lars39

(26,106 posts)
2. I totally agree with the author...the why's and details are none of our business.
Tue May 28, 2019, 09:02 AM
May 2019

Of course that doesn't matter to the anti-choice. "...suffer the little children." And boy howdy are they determined to make people suffer.

tazkcmo

(7,300 posts)
4. I paid for an abortion.
Tue May 28, 2019, 09:03 AM
May 2019

And it's nobody's business as to why. The person who actually had the abortion was glad to have the choice and I was glad to be able to help her do what was best for her. That's all that matters.

Wounded Bear

(58,584 posts)
9. Thank you for showing the courage to share your story...
Tue May 28, 2019, 10:09 AM
May 2019

In a just world, women like you would not have to share these stories in the prusuit of justice.

PoindexterOglethorpe

(25,811 posts)
10. Thank you.
Tue May 28, 2019, 10:18 AM
May 2019

The problem with focusing so tightly on the lack of exceptions for rape, incest, fetal abnormalities, and the like, completely overlooks that the majority of abortions are like yours. Woman or girl was pregnant, decided an abortion was in her best interest, and got one. Plus, of course, the fact that men are responsible for 100% of all abortions is somehow overlooked.

IronLionZion

(45,380 posts)
12. Agreed, it's nobody's business
Tue May 28, 2019, 10:20 AM
May 2019

I wonder how conservatives would feel if we got up in their business and judged them on their deeply repressed secrets?

God appointed me to judge conservatives to burn in hell for all eternity. No conservative will be forgiven.

ZeroSomeBrains

(638 posts)
13. As a man I can only imagine how difficult a decision that is
Tue May 28, 2019, 10:20 AM
May 2019

I wholeheartedly agree that it's none of my business what you do with your body and feel women should have the freedom to do what is best for them in such circumstances. Thank you for sharing.

scarletwoman

(31,893 posts)
37. I'm sorry, but the whole "difficult decision" thing is just more bullshit.
Tue May 28, 2019, 07:35 PM
May 2019

Do you think women need to agonize about having an abortion?

ZeroSomeBrains

(638 posts)
39. No woman needs to agonize over what is best for her
Wed May 29, 2019, 07:39 AM
May 2019

I know that sometimes it's an easy decision if the woman's life is at risk or the fetus is not viable.

unblock

(52,113 posts)
15. forcing someone to endure a pregnancy against their will is slavery
Tue May 28, 2019, 10:26 AM
May 2019

or at best, involuntary servitude. either way, it's a clear violation of the 13th amendment.


even if a woman purposefully became pregnant and for whatever reasons changed her mind, who cares. it's still slavery to force her to become pregnant from the moment she no longer wants to remain pregnant. it's her decision. she can't be forced to remain pregnant any more than an employee can be prevented from quitting.

the article is exactly right, neither the government nor the religious right nor the would-be father have an overriding claim on the woman's body. it is hers and hers alone.

mopinko

(69,982 posts)
21. birth slaves. birth slavers.
Tue May 28, 2019, 11:31 AM
May 2019

yup. been trying to make this point and looking for others to make it, and it aint really out there. it should be. it is the core of the whole damn thing.

lark

(23,059 posts)
19. I had an abortion and helped 4 others have them when it was totally illegal in our state.
Tue May 28, 2019, 11:15 AM
May 2019

I am proud of helping these 4 young women (between 17-19) go to NYC where it was legal and stop the unwanted pregnancies. I am very thankful for the friend who helped me when I knew nowhere to turn, and then teamed up with me and several other young women to form an Underground Railroad where we could help others take control of their lives and their reproduction. It makes me so sad that young women could be faced with this once again because birth control will be outlawed along with abortions if the rw women hating oligarchs get their way.

Moostache

(9,895 posts)
27. Amen...the choice is the woman's to make, period.
Tue May 28, 2019, 11:54 AM
May 2019

If they wish to consult others, that too is their choice...including the choice of whether or not to consult the sperm donor that enabled the pregnancy in the first place. Advice and counsel are also to be received at the choice of the woman involved and NO ONE ELSE.

The "church" does not get a say...
The "state" does not get a say...
The "community" does not get a say...
No one else gets an unsolicited say, period.

heckles65

(547 posts)
29. The anti-abortion movement is like a medieval army...
Tue May 28, 2019, 12:02 PM
May 2019

The men are like the knights with the armor and big horses and big swords. The women in the movement are like the local levies, clutching homemade pikes or garden implements. Both are present; and the levies may even outnumber the knights. But there's no mystery where all the "fight" is. Drive off the levies, and the knights will stand and fight to the last man. Kill off the knights, and the levies will run for the hills. Because this is a knight (read male) assertiveness movement.

demigoddess

(6,640 posts)
30. I think of the women more like camp followers. And that is insulting to camp followers.
Tue May 28, 2019, 02:23 PM
May 2019

At one point in history, camp followers were following the army that their husbands were serving in. Their only way out of starvation and death. In this day and age when women can be fired from their jobs just for being pregnant, abortion should not be outlawed. Perhaps that mother has to work to feed her children. Perhaps the baby has a birth defect. Perhaps they cannot support another child. With low wages that is possible. I know food was rationed in our house when I was a kid.

BigmanPigman

(51,564 posts)
33. Damn straight!
Tue May 28, 2019, 04:39 PM
May 2019

At the Stop the Bans rally I attended I heard fantastic speakers, two were ministers, men and women, and all were pro-choice. One good point they brought up is that there ar a lot of natural miscarriages that the body does to protect itself and the anti-abortion nuts never mention this or that it is a medical procedure and how often do they consult anyone other than a doctor about THEIR own medical procedures?

stuffmatters

(2,574 posts)
34. Excellent statement & n.b. the Repugs are moving the window to only "rape,incest, life of mother."
Tue May 28, 2019, 05:28 PM
May 2019

Also WTF did two Democratic SCOTUS judges today vote in favor of Indiana's law to force women to bury/cremate the fetus? Christmisogyny at its most sadistic.

Vinca

(50,236 posts)
35. I wish the GOP would get it through their thick heads that they do not control what women
Tue May 28, 2019, 05:31 PM
May 2019

do with their own bodies. It's none of their business. I don't give two shits about Republican prostate glands and they shouldn't care about my uterus.

Shoonra

(518 posts)
38. My how the Republicans have changed ....
Tue May 28, 2019, 08:34 PM
May 2019

Fifty years ago, when they were fighting Medicare tooth and nail, the Republican mantra was "Keep the government out of your doctor's examining room", but now, if you're a woman and you are or might be pregnant, the Republicans very much want the government right there in the doctor's room, standing right at the stirrups.

Funny thing is this solicitude only happens if abortion is, or might be, discussed. The Republicans haven't done anything to improve or expand pre-natal care for women who can't afford it. So they'll make a woman give birth - even to her rapist's baby - but they don't care if the woman or the baby are malnourished or exposed to infections, or even whether the woman has enough diapers and baby food.

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