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Tue Jun 18, 2019, 09:26 AM

Survivor's Guilt ....

I am fortunate, I am blessed. I have single payer, national health care. It is an "unintended consequence" of my wanting to be able to express my antiwar opinions at the dinner table by enlisting in Navy in in Feb '72 two years after my exposure to the lottery.

When I got out of the navy, I got a job at the Brecksville VA hospital. The first day home from work I asked my wife that no matter what that I would never end up in a VA hospital.

Insurance was no problem: at that time every employer offered some sort of health insurance.

Years later, not so much.

I was at fifty-five suddenly without insurance and my wife started the paperwork for me to go to VA. I went because I do know the power dynamics in our home unit. And I knew she'd see how bad it was and that would be the end of it.

In 2012 I had a minor, ignorable sort of symptom of something. No pain, but an occasional dribble of blood in my urine. As soon as I had noticed it several times, I went to VA. It turned out to be bladder cancer.

Five surgeries to remove tumors, one partial excision of my colon, two rounds of BCG (which has a very high rate of success but not for me) and a biopsy later: I still have that cancer.

The biopsy determined that the cancer is not going to be responsive to either chemo or radiation but hadn't broached the wall of the badder.

The theory is that if the cancer is only in the bladder then .....

And so here I am going for at least one more very serious surgery tomorrow.

What my mixed feeling are about are: there's been a lot of money spent to keep me going (has to be close to a million) and I do worry about how many small children could be in a program for wellness with what VA has spent on on this one old man. About how many people much more productive than me are dying over inability to come up with insurance premiums and I am living because I wanted to eat Turkey at Thanksgiving and tell my dad how wrong he was about the war. About a President who is operating contrary to the interests of the majority and even against the interests of his average joe MAGA hat supporter.

No matter what happens there's a terrible killing problem with healthcare in this country but not for me.

Survivor's guilt.

See you all in a week or so.

MFalls.

20 replies, 2215 views

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Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 20 replies Author Time Post
Reply Survivor's Guilt .... (Original post)
marble falls Jun 2019 OP
Chin music Jun 2019 #1
marble falls Jun 2019 #2
Chin music Jun 2019 #3
marble falls Jun 2019 #6
Turin_C3PO Jun 2019 #4
marble falls Jun 2019 #5
UpInArms Jun 2019 #7
Maeve Jun 2019 #8
malaise Jun 2019 #9
Karadeniz Jun 2019 #10
llmart Jun 2019 #11
marble falls Jun 2019 #12
tblue37 Jun 2019 #13
Raster Jun 2019 #14
bluescribbler Jun 2019 #15
Skittles Jun 2019 #16
voteearlyvoteoften Jun 2019 #17
DownriverDem Jun 2019 #18
Rhiannon12866 Jun 2019 #19
saidsimplesimon Jun 2019 #20

Response to marble falls (Original post)


Response to Chin music (Reply #1)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 09:48 AM

2. Believe it or not I feel pretty darn good. My doctors comment regularly how healthy I am ...

except for this assassin hiding out in my bladder.

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Response to marble falls (Reply #2)


Response to Chin music (Reply #3)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 10:21 AM

6. Me, too. No matter what, it will be OK. Thanks, brother.

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 09:50 AM

4. Don't feel guilty.

I know how you feel, due to my poverty I get Medicaid which covers everything and leaves me no co-pays. I wish for everyone to get the same benefits I have.

But anyway, sending good vibes to you and good luck in surgery! Iím sure youíll do great

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Response to Turin_C3PO (Reply #4)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 09:56 AM

5. What you and I get is the minimum of what everyone should get.

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 10:48 AM

7. stay strong, my friend

I, for one, am glad you are a survivor

the world is a better place with you sharing the planet with us

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 11:00 AM

8. Take care, my friend

Good thoughts...

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 11:01 AM

9. Hurry back my friend

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 02:29 PM

10. I'm so glad you've been able to access healthcare. You're right about everyone deserving it!

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 04:40 PM

11. I truly hope everything goes alright for you with this surgery.

Keep us posted and good luck.

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Response to llmart (Reply #11)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 04:46 PM

12. You know what they say, the sixth time is the charm - and off we to to Temple.

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 04:49 PM

13. Good luck on your surgery! nt

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 05:21 PM

14. Good thoughts and vibes...

...

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 05:58 PM

15. Good luck my brother

I joined the Navy in 1969. Did 2 Westpac cruises. After St. Ronnie changed the rules of eligibility, I didn't think I was eligible. Then, in 2010, I was laid off from my job. My wife had passed away the previous year, and COBRA was unaffordable, so in desperation, I applied for VA care. Imagine my surprise when I was told that, because I had been "in country", and may have been exposed to Agent Orange, I was eligible. As it turns out, when they sprayed in in the jungle, it made its way into the groundwater, then into the rivers and streams and finally into the Gulf of Tonkin, where Navy ships desalinated the water for cooking, bathing and drinking.

Thoughts and prayers for your recovery.

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 06:22 PM

16. no, no, no, no, no

you served, you earned the right, and you are posting on a PROGRESSIVE BOARD - it's republicans who should feel GUILT because they enable the shitty for-profit system in America......now you just concentrate on getting better.....remember that someone is ALWAYS here on DU, we are here for you

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 09:06 PM

17. Thinking of you and sending good thoughts

Fight! ✌🏼

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Tue Jun 18, 2019, 09:35 PM

18. Positive vibes

coming your way.

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Wed Jun 19, 2019, 06:07 AM

19. Sending those powerful DU vibes for a successful surgery

And a safe and speedy recovery - we'll need you on MIRT for the election!

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Wed Jun 19, 2019, 12:39 PM

20. Our thoughts for a speedy recovery, see you soon.

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