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Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:22 PM

Two people are drowning in a pool...

Donald Trump & Dick Cheney

There's no one else around but you - and you're a paraplegic who can't swim.

There's only one life preserver, and you're holding it...

Which one would you throw it to?


*(let's stipulate that not throwing it in might mean a charge of manslaughter)

145 replies, 4108 views

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Arrow 145 replies Author Time Post
Reply Two people are drowning in a pool... (Original post)
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 OP
Sanity Claws Jul 2019 #1
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #2
malaise Jul 2019 #70
Hortensis Jul 2019 #95
Loge23 Jul 2019 #3
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #32
mercuryblues Jul 2019 #4
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #33
zackymilly Jul 2019 #5
KG Jul 2019 #11
sl8 Jul 2019 #18
qazplm135 Jul 2019 #26
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #35
sl8 Jul 2019 #50
qazplm135 Jul 2019 #55
zackymilly Jul 2019 #111
JustFiveMoreMinutes Jul 2019 #141
MontanaMama Jul 2019 #6
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #36
Grins Jul 2019 #88
lame54 Jul 2019 #7
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #53
GoCubsGo Jul 2019 #8
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #38
keithbvadu2 Jul 2019 #97
dalton99a Jul 2019 #9
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #134
Floyd R. Turbo Jul 2019 #10
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #61
Buns_of_Fire Jul 2019 #12
rzemanfl Jul 2019 #15
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #39
Takket Jul 2019 #86
CatMor Jul 2019 #13
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #40
Freethinker65 Jul 2019 #14
Hekate Jul 2019 #16
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #57
eShirl Jul 2019 #17
jberryhill Jul 2019 #19
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #41
Crunchy Frog Jul 2019 #20
meadowlander Jul 2019 #21
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #47
maxrandb Jul 2019 #22
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #42
librechik Jul 2019 #23
R. P. McMurphy Jul 2019 #24
SouthernProgressive Jul 2019 #25
avebury Jul 2019 #28
SouthernProgressive Jul 2019 #30
rzemanfl Jul 2019 #79
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #83
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #45
qazplm135 Jul 2019 #27
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #52
liberaltrucker Jul 2019 #29
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #44
Doreen Jul 2019 #31
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #54
Doreen Jul 2019 #58
LunaSea Jul 2019 #34
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #48
Flaleftist Jul 2019 #37
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #51
Brother Buzz Jul 2019 #43
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #49
Brother Buzz Jul 2019 #56
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #59
Kaleva Jul 2019 #46
Blaukraut Jul 2019 #60
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #62
randr Jul 2019 #63
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #65
stillcool Jul 2019 #64
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #66
sdfernando Jul 2019 #67
Tipperary Jul 2019 #71
sdfernando Jul 2019 #76
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #80
First Speaker Jul 2019 #68
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #73
nini Jul 2019 #94
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #133
nini Jul 2019 #137
skypilot Jul 2019 #128
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #135
skypilot Jul 2019 #138
Ilsa Jul 2019 #69
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #75
ProudLib72 Jul 2019 #72
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #77
rufus dog Jul 2019 #74
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #78
DBoon Jul 2019 #81
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #92
Takket Jul 2019 #82
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #90
spooky3 Jul 2019 #84
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #89
MicaelS Jul 2019 #85
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #87
at140 Jul 2019 #91
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #93
smirkymonkey Jul 2019 #96
nini Jul 2019 #104
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #112
RockRaven Jul 2019 #98
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #113
Fla Dem Jul 2019 #99
pansypoo53219 Jul 2019 #100
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #114
Turbineguy Jul 2019 #101
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #116
Moostache Jul 2019 #102
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #117
Goodheart Jul 2019 #103
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #118
Clash City Rocker Jul 2019 #105
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #119
AJT Jul 2019 #106
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #120
Thomas Hurt Jul 2019 #107
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #121
grumpyduck Jul 2019 #108
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #122
lunasun Jul 2019 #109
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #123
guillaumeb Jul 2019 #110
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #124
guillaumeb Jul 2019 #129
Vinca Jul 2019 #115
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #125
littlemissmartypants Jul 2019 #126
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #127
rateyes Jul 2019 #130
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #132
Blue_true Jul 2019 #131
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #136
Blue_true Jul 2019 #145
Lucid Dreamer Jul 2019 #139
grumpyduck Jul 2019 #140
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #143
pecosbob Jul 2019 #142
ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #144

Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:24 PM

1. I'd put it around myself and say that I was going to jump in

but got scared.

No way I'd help either bastard.

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Response to Sanity Claws (Reply #1)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:25 PM

2. Good one! LOL!

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Response to Sanity Claws (Reply #1)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:00 PM

70. You win the thread

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Response to Sanity Claws (Reply #1)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:36 PM

95. :) Yes. The law recognizes our right to save ourselves.

You needn't even point out that Trump kills everything he touches, just his 300 panicky pounds or so.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:27 PM

3. I'll take my chances with the charge. (eom)

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Response to Loge23 (Reply #3)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:54 PM

32. Funny dat!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:28 PM

4. I would throw it towards the pool

in an "attempt" to get it to one of them. When it landed on the edge there would be nothing I could do to help. Well except to call 911, if I don't also drop my phone.

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Response to mercuryblues (Reply #4)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:55 PM

33. Very creative, mercury!!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:28 PM

5. Can't throw it to anyone. I'm a paraplegic. n/t

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Response to zackymilly (Reply #5)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:34 PM

11. for the win.

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Response to zackymilly (Reply #5)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:44 PM

18. Why couldn't you throw if you were a paraplegic? n/t

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Response to sl8 (Reply #18)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:49 PM

26. maybe he's paralyzed from the waist up?

 

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Response to qazplm135 (Reply #26)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:55 PM

35. Yep.

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Response to qazplm135 (Reply #26)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:07 PM

50. In addition to the paraplegia?

I think paraplegia refers to the lower extremities, exclusively.

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Response to sl8 (Reply #50)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:11 PM

55. the literal definition doesn't but

 

the practical definition since there is no way to be paralyzed about the waist but not below it (unless your head is up your ass).

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Response to sl8 (Reply #18)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 07:34 PM

111. I also lost my arms in the accident. nt

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Response to zackymilly (Reply #5)

Fri Jul 26, 2019, 11:08 AM

141. I think you're thinking of quadriplegic n/t

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:28 PM

6. I didn't hear anyone yell for help.

Did you?

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Response to MontanaMama (Reply #6)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:56 PM

36. Nope.

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Response to MontanaMama (Reply #6)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:25 PM

88. "Help!" is "Soshilism!"

Canít have that...

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:29 PM

7. I'd get up and walk away...

As long as we're talking about miracles happening

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Response to lame54 (Reply #7)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:09 PM

53. I like that one.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:31 PM

8. I'd toss it between them, and let them fight over it.

They'd probably have to swim for it anyway, because I can't throw very far.

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Response to GoCubsGo (Reply #8)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:56 PM

38. Brilliant!

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Response to GoCubsGo (Reply #8)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:45 PM

97. You beat me to it. So,,,,,, Good one!

You beat me to it. So,,,,,, Good one!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:33 PM

9. The situation requires careful analysis. Ask them which one deserves it more

and give them plenty of time to present their case

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Response to dalton99a (Reply #9)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 11:03 PM

134. Nice.

Nice and evil!



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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:33 PM

10. I'd order pizza, wings, and beer and invite the neighbors over! 🍻

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Response to Floyd R. Turbo (Reply #10)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:15 PM

61. Good idea!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:35 PM

12. Here's a variant:

Same as before, both men are flailing madly to keep afloat. You've been in the neighborhood, taking photographs of the local fauna, when you happen upon them. At your feet is a life preserver -- only one.

Question: What shutter speed should you use?

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Response to Buns_of_Fire (Reply #12)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:41 PM

15. You win the thread! LOL. n/t

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Response to Buns_of_Fire (Reply #12)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:57 PM

39. Very well done!

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Response to Buns_of_Fire (Reply #12)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:20 PM

86. DUZY!!!!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:37 PM

13. I would watch them both drown ....

and then throw in the life preserver. Who would know.

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Response to CatMor (Reply #13)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:58 PM

40. Ah, good point!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:40 PM

14. Throw it to neither one and make them try to reach it and fight over it?

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:42 PM

16. Silly. Throw it in and let the two of them duke it out for possession.

With any luck, they both drown.

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Response to Hekate (Reply #16)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:11 PM

57. Right on.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:44 PM

17. Tough luck!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:45 PM

19. Meh, they should just pull themselves up by their own bootstraps

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #19)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:59 PM

41. Absolutely, huh?

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:45 PM

20. I'd throw it in such a way that it would "accidentally" miss.

Although the manslaughter charge might be worth it under the circumstances.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:45 PM

21. Surely sending them "thoughts and prayers" is sufficient action to avoid a manslaughter charge.

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Response to meadowlander (Reply #21)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:03 PM

47. Works wonders for every mass shooting

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:46 PM

22. I tried to help them

But McConnell blocked me.

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Response to maxrandb (Reply #22)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:00 PM

42. Clever!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:47 PM

23. I'm not just paraplegic. I'm blind and deaf, too.

why am I holding this thing?

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:48 PM

24. Lyrics Slightly Modified

Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand
I've seen your face before my fiends, but I don't know if you know who I am
Well I was there and I saw what you did, I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you've been
It's all been a pack of lies

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:48 PM

25. The republican way.

 

I would throw it to the one who offered me the most money.

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Response to SouthernProgressive (Reply #25)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:51 PM

28. If it was Trump you know he would stiff you. nt

Last edited Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:02 PM - Edit history (1)

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Response to avebury (Reply #28)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:52 PM

30. Yeah. He is in a bad spot. NT

 

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Response to avebury (Reply #28)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:17 PM

79. Ewwwww....please check your spelling. The damn keys are right

to each other.

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Response to avebury (Reply #28)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:19 PM

83. Absolutely.

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Response to SouthernProgressive (Reply #25)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:02 PM

45. Quite good, that!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:50 PM

27. try and find a way to instantly become a quadraplegic

 

small price to pay.

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Response to qazplm135 (Reply #27)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:08 PM

52. LOL!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:52 PM

29. I'll take prison for $200, Alex

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Response to liberaltrucker (Reply #29)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:01 PM

44. For $200 - What is the name of America's biggest scoundrel?

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:53 PM

31. I would ask my phone to call my far left

Democrat friend in Germany for a vacation to come over and decide who to throw it to. Do you think he will get back in time?

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Response to Doreen (Reply #31)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:10 PM

54. If not - Oh what a loss!!


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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Reply #54)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:12 PM

58. ....

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:55 PM

34. Off to the kitchen...

to get the toaster, and an extension cord. Call the pet store, see if they stock any piranha...

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Response to LunaSea (Reply #34)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:04 PM

48. Ha! Ha!

Sick!!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 03:56 PM

37. I guess I'm getting arrested. nt

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Response to Flaleftist (Reply #37)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:07 PM

51. Hard to argue...

It wouldn't be worth it. 2 for 1

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:00 PM

43. Is this a timed test?

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Response to Brother Buzz (Reply #43)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:06 PM

49. Yes.

You've got to have it finished before impeachment proceedings against Trump are commenced.



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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Reply #49)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:11 PM

56. Well, it my best Jack Benny voice....

I'm thinking it over.

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Response to Brother Buzz (Reply #56)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:13 PM

59. But...but...

Neither of these gentlemen can swim a lick! I know you'll want to HURRY!!!!



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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:03 PM

46. Toss Cheney a shotgun and let history repeat itself.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:14 PM

60. I'd throw it into the bushes/over the fence/into the neighbor's yard and say "oops, missed" n/t

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Response to Blaukraut (Reply #60)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:16 PM

62. What a shame. What a shame.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:19 PM

63. Do my time as an American hero

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Response to randr (Reply #63)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:22 PM

65. Wow. You certainly would be.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:21 PM

64. I thought they were faking it...

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Response to stillcool (Reply #64)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:24 PM

66. Perfectly plausible - given both of their track records

As shameless, prodigious liars!!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:31 PM

67. I'm a paraplegic, so...

by definition I cannot move my arms or legs. That means I cannot throw anything.

Therefore I would just sit back, smile, laugh and enjoy the show!

No, I cannot be charged with manslaughter because I cannot move my arms or legs.

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Response to sdfernando (Reply #67)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:06 PM

71. Not the definition of a paraplegic.

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Response to Tipperary (Reply #71)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:14 PM

76. Woops...sorry, you are correct....

I was thinking quadriplegic...silly me! I'm so eager so see these two drown! Yeah, I know, not very "christian" or nice.

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Response to sdfernando (Reply #76)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:18 PM

80. That's ok - you apologized. So we know you're not a Trump troll!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:54 PM

68. OK, a serious answer: I'd throw it to Cheney.

...I'd be unhappy about the choice, but better someone who at least comprehends what an issue is, and what compassion is, even if he doesn't respect either. And Dick has a better chance to at least partially make up for his evil by doing something useful in his remaining time. There is zero chance Trump will ever do anything useful with his life.

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Response to First Speaker (Reply #68)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:12 PM

73. I think you're right, and your the first one on this thread to save either, I believe!

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Response to First Speaker (Reply #68)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:32 PM

94. I agree cheney

because he's probably going to die soon otherwise

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Response to nini (Reply #94)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 11:02 PM

133. Perhaps not - with all

his horcruxes everywhere! (Harry Potterspeak)

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Reply #133)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 11:09 PM

137. LOL

well.. there's that

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Response to First Speaker (Reply #68)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 09:05 PM

128. At least Cheney supports gay marriage.

That's the ONE redeeming thing I know about him.

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Response to skypilot (Reply #128)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 11:06 PM

135. True.

Trump abstains from alcohol and tobacco - just as his idol Hitler did.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Reply #135)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 11:55 PM

138. Abstains from alcohol.

Not that you can tell.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 04:59 PM

69. I'd throw a knife to each one and chum the waters for the sharks.

Then I'd throw in the life preserver.

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Response to Ilsa (Reply #69)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:14 PM

75. Woah. I think we might have a winner (and there's lots of great competition here!)

Brilliant.


Positively brilliant!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:08 PM

72. The only reasonable thing to do is break the life preserver in two

and throw one piece to each person, thus assuring that you have done your due diligence while making sure that neither has enough flotation to survive.

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Response to ProudLib72 (Reply #72)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:15 PM

77. Wow. Another brilliant suggestion!

A lotta talent in the DU. No wonder Trumpistas think we're the elites.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:13 PM

74. I would conference call their respective daughters and ask them what to do

Figure they would argue for a good ten minutes so problem solved

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Response to rufus dog (Reply #74)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:17 PM

78. Very clever.


(you get two evil frowns for that one!)

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:18 PM

81. I'd offer my thoughts and prayers

If god wants them to survive, it will be

Who am I to challenge the will of god?

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Response to DBoon (Reply #81)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:29 PM

92. The Paul Ryan rescue move, huh?

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:19 PM

82. I'm throwing it over their heads. No manslaughter if I at least TRIED to save them

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Response to Takket (Reply #82)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:27 PM

90. Doesn't sound like you tried too hard

Who in their right mind would?

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:19 PM

84. Does the life preserver have to be inflated? Nt

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Response to spooky3 (Reply #84)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:26 PM

89. Uh, no.

Hadn't thought of that. Certainly lets you off the hook.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:20 PM

85. Throw it to Cheney.

He is out of power and can do little more.

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Response to MicaelS (Reply #85)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:24 PM

87. Probably a smart choice, but

I sure would feel sick doing it.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:28 PM

91. If the pool is in Florida, there is a surplus of gators here

you get my drift!

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Response to at140 (Reply #91)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:31 PM

93. I do!! Right on!

How fitting!

Trump especially would make quite a good-sized meal!


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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:41 PM

96. I'd make an emergency call for help to Mitch McConnell.

And when he arrived, I'd push him in the pool as well.

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Response to smirkymonkey (Reply #96)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 06:13 PM

104. LOL

good thinking

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Response to smirkymonkey (Reply #96)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:23 PM

112. Love it!


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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:45 PM

98. Throw it to Trump -- he's too incompetent and prone to panicky flailing to use it properly anyway

Then at least you kept it away from Cheney without endangering yourself.

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Response to RockRaven (Reply #98)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:24 PM

113. Excellent, RR!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:46 PM

99. I'd throw it in the middle of the 2. Let them decide. I'm a bad aim tho.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 06:02 PM

100. is the preserver flammable?

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Response to pansypoo53219 (Reply #100)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:25 PM

114. Hopefully!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 06:03 PM

101. I would sit down

and enjoy my sandwiches.

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Response to Turbineguy (Reply #101)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:25 PM

116. Me too.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 06:05 PM

102. Are we in Florida?

Because if so, I would pull out my gun, shoot them both and claim I was standing my ground in self-defense because one of them was mocking me and making wild hand gestures with exaggerated speech sounds and the other one was just a plain evil looking motherfucker that had no heartbeat and made me fear him biting me or attempting to make me a zombie...

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Response to Moostache (Reply #102)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:27 PM

117. Wow. That's quite creative...

Even for a "standing my ground" defense.


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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 06:09 PM

103. I would throw it to Cheney

because trump would whine so much while he's drowning about unfair presidential harassment that he'd bore Cheney to death, anyway.

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Response to Goodheart (Reply #103)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:29 PM

118. I can hear now as he's going under...

There was no collusion, no obstruction - total exoneration - and YOU know that bet....(bubble, bubble...gone)


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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 06:21 PM

105. I was expecting a question like "what kind of sandwich would you make while watching them drown?"

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Response to Clash City Rocker (Reply #105)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:29 PM

119. That's the follow-up thread

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 06:21 PM

106. Hey, I thought they were practicing a synchronized swimming routine.

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Response to AJT (Reply #106)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:30 PM

120. LOL! Clever dat!



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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 06:24 PM

107. I suppose you could put it on yourself and then drive your wheelchair as fast as it can go....

and see if can hit both of them.

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Response to Thomas Hurt (Reply #107)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:32 PM

121. Hmmm.

Risky - but interesting!

Yeah. I like it


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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 06:28 PM

108. I would claim the life preserver is too heavy for me to lift,

let alone throw. Then I'd toss T a cell phone so he can tweet up a storm while he's drowning. Cheney? Oh, yeah, the other guy... well, I only had one cell phone.

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Response to grumpyduck (Reply #108)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:32 PM

122. Hysterical!





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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 06:53 PM

109. #1-Nothing they are both scum so they will float -and quite frankly they do not need any help

So many times have they reminded me everyone needs to stay afloat on their own !
After all, they are republicans . They only need to help and save themselves thank you.
No way would they want a disabled stranger to throw them a lifesaver.

That would make them losers according to the stuff they hype

They always give me the impression at least ,like they would rather die in such a situation (and others needing help should too)and always allude itís so terrible to need help from others.
I would not want to go against their beliefs

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Response to lunasun (Reply #109)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:35 PM

123. I think you're on to something there...

If you want to torture them even more than letting them drown - is to have them saved by an inferior, bleeding heart liberal socialist!!

Let's save 'em then!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 07:05 PM

110. Throw it, and hope it hits both of them.

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #110)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:36 PM

124. Fill it with lead first, you meant to add!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Reply #124)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 09:07 PM

129. Agreed.

A nice thread.

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:25 PM

115. Would you guys promise to write me in prison? Couldn't save either.

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Response to Vinca (Reply #115)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:38 PM

125. How could you live with yourself not saving the life of either of those public servants?

EASILY!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:41 PM

126. Break the thing in two and toss them each half. nt

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Response to littlemissmartypants (Reply #126)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 08:43 PM

127. As long as it floats like a rock, that would be fine

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 09:16 PM

130. I would drink a glass of wine while watching them

both drown. Then I would piss in the pool and toss the life ring in the garbage as I rolled away with a huge grin on my face.

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Response to rateyes (Reply #130)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 11:00 PM

132. Priceless!

You're bad!



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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 09:18 PM

131. I would stand trial. nt

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Response to Blue_true (Reply #131)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 11:09 PM

136. That would seem to be easier on one's conscience, huh?

Imagine having to live with having saved either of those evil souls!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Reply #136)

Fri Jul 26, 2019, 06:29 PM

145. Exactly. Not saving one would bother me, but not as much as saving one would weigh on my conscience

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Fri Jul 26, 2019, 02:41 AM

139. I see a stamp on the life preserver that says "Hecho en China"

"Hold on you two till I find one made in the USA!"

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Response to Lucid Dreamer (Reply #139)

Fri Jul 26, 2019, 10:26 AM

140. Or write "USS John McCain" on it

and see what happens.

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Response to Lucid Dreamer (Reply #139)

Fri Jul 26, 2019, 01:32 PM

143. LOL!

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Response to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Fri Jul 26, 2019, 11:17 AM

142. I think I'd just pee in the pool.

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Response to pecosbob (Reply #142)

Fri Jul 26, 2019, 01:34 PM

144. Oh, you're bad. Letting two selfless, distinguished public servants drown right before your eyes!



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