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Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:04 PM

A lovely read with pics - Alexis Ohanian Challenges Paternity Leave 'Stigma': 'Men Are Conditioned

to Be Breadwinners'

https://people.com/parents/alexis-ohanian-paternity-leave-essay-daughter-olympia-serena-williams/
Although Alexis Ohanian admits he “never thought much about paternity leave” before becoming a dad, taking those 16 weeks off turned out to be a big confidence booster and a foundation builder for him, his wife Serena Williams and their 23-month-old daughter Alexis Olympia.

In a recent essay for The New York Times, the Reddit co-founder, 36, opened up about why paternity leave is so important, despite men feeling a “stigma” around it.

While Ohanian understands that “not every father has the flexibility to leave without the fear that doing so could negatively impact his career,” he stresses the importance of paid family leave for everyone.

“Serena and I were lucky enough to have help at home and many other advantages working in our favor. But even with all of that privilege, including my ability to focus solely on my family and not worry about keeping my job, it was still incredibly difficult,” Ohanian wrote.

“Nothing could have dragged me away from my wife and daughter in those hours, days and weeks — and I’m grateful that I was never forced to choose between my family and my job.”

13 replies, 464 views

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Reply A lovely read with pics - Alexis Ohanian Challenges Paternity Leave 'Stigma': 'Men Are Conditioned (Original post)
malaise Tuesday OP
spooky3 Tuesday #1
mcar Tuesday #2
elleng Tuesday #3
malaise Tuesday #4
elleng Tuesday #5
Skittles Tuesday #6
Caliman73 Tuesday #7
malaise Tuesday #8
Caliman73 Tuesday #9
malaise Tuesday #10
monmouth4 Tuesday #11
malaise Wednesday #13
smirkymonkey Wednesday #12

Response to malaise (Original post)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:07 PM

1. I love this! Thanks, malaise. Nt

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:09 PM

2. He and Serena are good role models

and their baby is so sweet.

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:13 PM

3. Nice.

My son in law just returned to work, as a deputy sheriff, after 3 weeks of paternity leave, and last night he took the baby's big brother to the Nats/Reds baseball game.

He's a keeper!

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Response to elleng (Reply #3)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:15 PM

4. Clearly

Hug that man

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Response to malaise (Reply #4)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:18 PM

5. I DID! I was visiting yesterday afternoon,

they moved within 7 miles of me here 2 months ago, so I hugged him as I left and before he and big brother left for the game; Mom and baby entertained some of my daughter's friends last night.

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:20 PM

6. I have sometimes had to work extra to cover for people staying home with their babies

it never bothered me because it seems like an investment into the future - something that is in everyone's best interest

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:33 PM

7. I see no stigma in being a care giver as a man.

I would have loved to have been able to stay home and bond and provide care for my children. In my family of origin I was criticized heavily for changing diapers and feeding my eldest son with members of the family saying, "Why are you doing a woman's work?" I always responded, "This isn't woman's work, it is a good parent's job".

We are conditioned to be breadwinners, and often obligated to do so by society. I had and have no worries whatsoever about "my career" I work in a field that is dominated by women and likely considered to be a "woman's role" as a social worker. The problem is there was no way in hell that I could take 16 weeks off of my job, even if I were legally allowed to. I mean if I still had my full salary for that time and guaranteed position, then I would take it in a heartbeat.

I am glad that this gentleman with a large platform is taking a positive stance for men being involved in the caring and bonding with their children. It is a good thing. I hope that he uses the platform to advocate for policy that would allow it to become a financial reality.

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Response to Caliman73 (Reply #7)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:34 PM

8. You're special

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Response to malaise (Reply #8)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:40 PM

9. I was raised in a family of strong women, and a good father.

For that I am very thankful.

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Response to Caliman73 (Reply #9)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:41 PM

10. Makes all the difference

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:52 PM

11. Just read tonight on FB that Serena is being forced to retire due to back spasms..n/t

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Response to monmouth4 (Reply #11)

Wed Aug 14, 2019, 04:45 AM

13. Back spasms

since Sunday

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Wed Aug 14, 2019, 01:37 AM

12. Hear, hear!

I think men should be able to stay home as well without any stigma. It is important for fathers to bond with their children - just as it is with mothers - I don't think it is any different.

Even thought the child is bound to the mother for biological needs, I think those early months are very important for fathers in bonding with their new babies. This should be mandatory as far as I am concerned.

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