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(15,923 posts)
Tue Sep 3, 2019, 02:00 PM Sep 2019

Americans Envious That Tiffany Trump Never Hears from Dad

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans envy Tiffany Trump for never hearing from her father, a new poll reveals.

According to the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, Tiffany Trump’s unique placement beyond the reach of her father’s voice has made her the most envied woman in America.

Although Donald Trump took the extraordinary step of emitting the word “Tiffany” in remarks to reporters last week, the rarity of that utterance only served to remind Americans of just how fortunate Tiffany was to be off her father’s radar.

“In all our years of polling, it’s highly unusual to find one person so universally envied,” Davis Logsdon, who supervised the poll, said. “People in virtually every demographic group ‘strongly agreed’ with the statement, ‘God, I wish I were Tiffany Trump.’ ”

The poll finds Tiffany Trump sitting atop a list of the most envied women in America, well ahead of Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, and MacKenzie Bezos, who has a net worth of thirty-five billion dollars.


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Americans Envious That Tiffany Trump Never Hears from Dad (Original Post) Zorro Sep 2019 OP
I love good satire Gothmog Sep 2019 #1
Do we hear much about Buffet kids? at140 Sep 2019 #2
Trump is the president Frances Sep 2019 #4
among those presidents, I admired JFK a lot at140 Sep 2019 #9
The tRump "kids" are all Scarsdale Sep 2019 #8
There was a special about the Buffets. The only one I remember is a son who's into seeds Karadeniz Sep 2019 #10
I would change my name to Tiffany Cirque du So-What Sep 2019 #3
K&R bwah ha HAH!1 ---------BOROWITZ, I shoulda known!1 UTUSN Sep 2019 #5
I knew who the author was treestar Sep 2019 #6
God, I wish I were Tiffany tRump. Mc Mike Sep 2019 #7
Hahahahaaa!! lunatica Sep 2019 #11


(6,113 posts)
2. Do we hear much about Buffet kids?
Tue Sep 3, 2019, 02:16 PM
Sep 2019

How about Amazon CEO's kids?
How about Bill Gates kids?
How about Soros's kids?
We hear a lot about Trump's kids.
Why is that?


(8,554 posts)
4. Trump is the president
Tue Sep 3, 2019, 02:47 PM
Sep 2019

You could ask the same thing about the kids of Obama, George W Bush, Clinton, the first Bush, Reagan, Carter, Nixon, Johnson, Kennedy, Ike, Truman, and Roosevelt
If I remember right, Truman once threatened a newspaperman who criticized his daughter Margaret's musical ability.


(9,426 posts)
8. The tRump "kids" are all
Tue Sep 3, 2019, 03:11 PM
Sep 2019

dependent on daddy for their livelihood. None have ever held a real job, except in the tRump grifting organization. I would LOVE to miss them, if only they would GO THE HELL AWAY.


(22,955 posts)
10. There was a special about the Buffets. The only one I remember is a son who's into seeds
Tue Sep 3, 2019, 04:18 PM
Sep 2019

And agriculture. I don't remember any of them going into finance.


(71,315 posts)
5. K&R bwah ha HAH!1 ---------BOROWITZ, I shoulda known!1
Tue Sep 3, 2019, 02:51 PM
Sep 2019

Not only is it deliciously entertaining for us, but it prolly makes Tiffany feel good!1

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