Profiles in Perfidy. . . . Please come CAPTION PresiDented Donald J(*rkoff) Trump!!!

[skip fox]

"I just can't win with this press, the fake news. . . . If I just begin planning to suspend a phony election that is going to be rigged from the start, they'll say I'm lawless and should be removed from office. . . . But if I ban the press, everyone will feel sorry for them and mad at me. . . . I just can't win with this mad-dog press."

[Moostache]

1. "Who took my Adderall?" (n/t)

[underpants]

2. Impeach? Hell No! I'm orange.

[PJMcK]

3. That was peachy-keen! (n/t)

[Atticus]

4. "I once killed a gopher with a stick!" nt

[Johonny]

5. What I did was imply that if they didn't get dirt on Biden then I'd cut off all military funding and

let the very fine Russians walk all over them. I didn't say that I'd do it. All though Russia is very fine in the way they're handling the Ukraine thing. Very bad thing. In the Ukraine. Very bad. But I implied it. A very good imply. Very good. I'm the best implier. Liddle' Implier they, the Russians, call me. Good name. I might use it. Perfectly legal. Really. Perfectly. You can imply all the time. It's legal. You can look it up. In a book. A perfectly legal book. Really. Look. Look. We imply things all the time. For instance, maybe I will kill you all in the media if you keep reporting this story. In the old days. Back in Russia. They killed you all. It, the mass murder, was great. They killed you traitors with piano wire. They didn't even play piano. They just had the wire. Very good wire for killing Lamestream media. Very good. I strikes a cord. Get it. But, you know, legally. Perfectly legal. Just implied. Now let's focus on the real issue here. How Hillary Clinton murdered Seth Rich with an email server to try to prevent the Ukraine from colluding with Bill Clinton's penis to prevent me from having a yuge electoral college victory. Which, by the way, didn't work. It was yuge. The electoral college victory. Biggest ever. Now can we get back to making fun of 16 year old girls concerned with the death of our planet by insensitive tune death idiots already? I mean, that was fun. Really very fun.

[skip fox]

6. "It strikes accord."

[RainCaster]

7. "Rudy, your rug is crooked"

[oasis]

8. "Rosebud"

[skip fox]

9. What we wish Trump was saying:

"You can't impeach me. . . . I quit!"