my heart is breaking. my daughter is turning into a republican
I was raised by a feminist and am a proud liberal. I have a low tolerance for republicans who buy into the right wing hypocritical bullshit.
I have three beautiful intelligent daughters. One of them is living with a republican. I just saw her post something on facebook that made me realize I'm losing her.
my heart is breaking. anyone else go through this. how do you deal?
= new reply since forum marked as read
other than that, I got nothing 
Sit down with her and have her tell you all the facts that have caused her to change
and then go on-line together to check the facts
I too have a daughter who tends to date Republicans and is often taken in... I just keep talking to her and I know she hears... keep the lines of communication open with your daughter; you will not lose her forever 
I've lost a few friends who were influenced by the man in their lives, and I'm a little concerned about my niece. I don't know what you can do to change their minds except don't discuss politics. And maybe not read their Facebook page? It's so painful to see someone you love become something you hate.
I was raised by unreconstructed, old-school Kennedy liberals. (My mother even marched in JFK's inaugural parade). I turned hard right during the Reagan years; I was a huge fan of RR, mainly because I didn't know a thing about politics. My first Presidential election in 1988, I voted for Bush Sr. My mother was furious. I didn't care.
In '92 I voted for Bush again.
After the horror of the '94 mid-terms, I began to re-examine my political leanings, & juxtaposing them with my actual ideological beliefs. I've always been a liberal at heart.
In '96, I voted proudly for Bill Clinton, and I've never cast a vote for a Repub since.
And my motto, as most long-time DU-ers know, is: "Liberal till I DIE, motherfuckers!" 
I hope your daughter will return to the fold, as much for her own sake, as for yours...
can't imagine it. Hard as it may be, I suggest 'ignore' vis a vis her now. She's 'living with a republican,' but she grew up with you and your liberal family.
I suspect it will pass as will her relationship w the repug, and she'll appreciate that you didn't/don't make a fuss about it.
Money is too good, I guess. 
By all means, talk as plainly and as determinedly about your position as you ever have. Make sure you let her know that you love her unconditionally. I assure you, your lessons to her will never be far from her. The quickest and simplest way cause a deep rift is to alienate her and allow the only voice of support to be that of the RW BF. Your love will remain when the voice and possible affection, of the currently beloved BF is no longer so powerful.
Good luck to you. Parenting adult children is hard. I have been telling people that 2, 3, 13 and 16 had NOTHING on 19. 
His "comrades" have convinced him that Obama is going to cut his veteran's benefits. 
If Romney/Ryan don't give a shit about the people actively serving in dangerous areas, what makes him think they'll do anything for vets? 
My parents and family were all republicans. I grew up loving Regean and even voted for G. W. in 2000. I think it was a combination of the war shaking my foundations and my feminist wife that knocked some sense into me.
You don't have to stuff too many body bags to figure out that war and republican policies suck. Then, when there is a whole in your belief structure liberal ideas make a lot of sense and easily fill the void. It just feels better going around loving people instead of hating and shooting them. Instead of turning me into a cold killer like Rambo, combat made me more of a loving and caring person. The only problem is that my PTSD kind of makes it hard for me express or feel positive emotions. Go figure.
I don't know if it's the mind altering drugs the VA is giving me, but I probably could be called a socialist by many of the liberals I work with. I've gone that far left on some of my beliefs.
Did that help you? Probably not. I wouldn't advocate sending your daughter to a war to change hel political views.
from life as you go along....
also you are lucky in love!
My sister has ALWAYS been conservative. I usually attribute it to her not being smart enough to realize that she is not part of the 1% and these policies she thinks she supports are directly hurting her. whatever. we don't see each other very much and we've always been very different.
My husband works and plays golf with a bunch of white republications. Nice guys most them. But they believe that Republicans are better for business. They tend to be libertarian ... they want to the gov regulations out of their business so that they can make money for their families. I reminded my husband that his mother who has been mentally ill most of her adult life lives on programs that the republications would cut. I could see the light bulb go on.
My youngest daughter is a full blow liberal. she admits to being a bit of a socialist. My mother would be so proud! super smart. ready to engage anyone in a debate over obamacare and pretty much anything re politics, religion and current events. My middle one has never been interested in politics but the youngest is influencing her
But seeing my oldest daughter change due to the influence of her boyfriend is just killing me. She is a good person with solid values. She is loving, unselfish, fair. She loves to travel the world and is so open to new people and different cultures. Many of her best friends are gay. She is color blind when it comes to race. She is just insecure enough to fall under the spell of a man who tells her how to think. It just kills me. I failed as a parent. I should have instilled more self confidence. She is young (21) so there is hope that she will out grow this nimwit
I have two Daughters as well... My wife and I raised them to be tolerant and accepting of all peoples regardless of who they were or how they were raised. We were a non-religious Family but raised very morally correct young ladies. With that... lol...one day my oldest Daughter who was maybe a senior or just out of high school at the time, blurted out to me from the back seat of our car...."Dad, you know that I am a Christian!" I looked in the rear view mirror and responded ... "Good for you! You have to make your own choices in life and religion is one." I know she really didn't expect me to respond this way...although she should have. I am always one to invite any missionary or Jehovah's Witnesses in to have a chat when they knock on my door. They generally just leave not sure exactly how to feel as I ask them questions that they have difficulty answering. As for my Daughter.... You see, she had been dating a Southern Baptist. She started attending church with him and his Family and was taken in on the friendly atmosphere that most churches have, especially a potential new member. Well, of course I hoped that she didn't get too wrapped up with them...but I had to trust that my wife and I did our job and she would come to see how prejudiced some religious organizations can be, especially Southern Baptists. I was being truthful to her with that I would respect her choices...as parents we are to raise our children to make their own choices and live their own life...not one that I planned out for them. As they experience "the other point of view"....they will think back on how they were raised and hopefully be able to see the contrasts of the different ways of thought. In the end... my Daughter eventually came to me and confessed that she was really having a hard time accepting all that the Baptists were trying to tell her. Some of her best friends from school were Gay and of course this was a major conflict with her new congregation and speakers would rail against Gay Rights and how evil their lifestyle was. Anyway... eventually she broke up with her boyfriend... lol... She had been over his home and he had asked his Mom to do some laundry he needed done for the evening. My Daughters were taught to take care of themselves and she asked her BF why he just didn't do it himself? He said he didn't know how. My Daughter was dumbfounded..."You don't know how to do your own laundry?" His Mother overheard this and interjected.."Why should he do his own laundry? When I can do it for him?" That was the turning point of the relationship with that young man and my Daughter...lol... she could see the handwriting on the wall if she stayed in that relationship....they broke up shortly after and this was also the end of her stint with the Baptists also. So be patient and allow your Daughter to experience the "otherside"... be the contrast for her... tolerant, loving and non-judgmental. She will eventually respond as you expected her too, based on what you have taught her... trust that you did your job as a good parent. Good Luck...
They attend a very fundamentalist church and get a lot of right wing ideas there. They do not watch a lot of Fox News, thank goodness, but have lots of conservative friends. It kind of makes me sick that they have turned into such hard right wingers. They voted for McCain/Palin 08 but I was hoping they would see Romney for what he is and especially would be repulsed by Ryan since his idol is Ayn Rand. But that has not made a difference. They are still going to vote Romney/Ryan. My ONLY consolation in all of this is that they live in a state that will go RED with or without their vote. So their votes are pretty meaningless in the whole scheme of things. MY vote, on the other hand does matter, since I live in Florida where it could go either way. Voting for Obama in MY state has real meaning and influence on the outcome of the election.
I tried to appeal to my son and daughter in law about the possibility of the harm that could come to US (and to them, too) if Social Security is destroyed, if Medicare and Medicaid are dismantled since that might mean we would have to turn to them for our care when we are very old. We got "canned answers" back from our daughter in law when my husband sent her our concerns in an email. She wrote back with the pat answers Romney has given out......"If you are over 55 you don't need to be concerned, things won't change for you." THAT IS A BIG F'N LIE! And we tried to alert them to our concern and they just can't hear it. They are BRAINWASHED. Someone else on this thread said that and it's true. I wish she had listened to Bill Clinton's speech because he covered this issue quite well. I do not think she listened to any of the convention speeches. At least not the Democratic Convention. She did watch the Repubs.....naturally.
UNTIL the chickens come home to roost for these people (like finally figuring out that GW Bush was a liar and screwing us all over), they will be true believers. They will need to get their noses rubbed in it before they finally understand. AND that to me is why I am sad and upset.
Wish I had better suggestions for others in this situation. But I really feel that is the long and the short of it.
What we have had to do is abandon all talk that includes politics. I have to ignore the RIGHT WING posts she, my 14 year old grandson and my son post on FB. I have made a promise not to comment on their posts and not to post counter posts. It just turns into a pissing match that I won't win. And I am not willing to risk the loss of contact with my son and his family (three adorable grandkids). I have to remind myself that my daughter in law is a good person in her heart. She IS wrong about a lot of stuff. But she loves my son, provides a good home for their three children and is doing the best she can.....considering that she IS being brain washed.
Short of abducting them and taking them to a "reprogramming camp", I think they will have to find out the hard way......if GOD FORBID... Romney/Ryan wins the election. The post on Nate Silver's blog this a.m. (538) gave me hope that maybe Obama will go on to win another term and I can have the last laugh. 
Certain things are simply unacceptable!
That would have been my instinctive reaction also.
Welcome to DU!
WHO WILL SHAPE AMERICAN FOR GENERATIONS TO COME was sort of important. By all means, show us how much, much more there is. Let's pick the next by "who you'd want to have a beer with".
When he found out I voted for Pataki for Governor of NY - he made me sit at the children's table (I was 27 at the time) a few hours later for Thanksgiving dinner. 
that set me straight!
