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Zorro

(15,724 posts)
Fri Mar 20, 2020, 08:20 AM Mar 2020

Trump Quietly Checks With Aides To Make Sure He'd Be Included In Receiving $1,000 Government Checks

WASHINGTON—As his administration makes plans to combat the economic damage caused by the coronavirus with direct payments to Americans, President Donald Trump reportedly conferred with aides behind closed doors Wednesday to confirm he would be among those citizens receiving a pair of $1,000 checks.

“Hey, I’m also getting in on this deal, right?” Trump reportedly said to a White House economic strategist he had pulled aside, asking him to double-check the list of recipients and make sure he was on there, since he was “an American too, after all,” and it was “only fair” he receive the same assistance as everyone else.

“How soon are these things coming? Can we expedite them? An extra couple grand would be nice right about now. I should get my check first because I’m president and I’ve been working hard. Everyone else should get theirs after me. Maybe we could have a televised ceremony where I receive the check. That would boost morale, especially if I got a little more money than everybody else. Also, my kids are going to get them too, right? Is there any way those ones could just be forwarded directly to me?”

At press time, sources reported that Trump increased the proposed amount of money Americans would be receiving to $2,687 after learning that taxes would have to be taken out.

https://politics.theonion.com/trump-quietly-checks-with-aides-to-make-sure-he-d-be-in-1842399427

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Trump Quietly Checks With Aides To Make Sure He'd Be Included In Receiving $1,000 Government Checks (Original Post) Zorro Mar 2020 OP
How sad that I didn't even question whether this was parody until reaching the link. hlthe2b Mar 2020 #1
Me too :( patricia92243 Mar 2020 #3
me three CatWoman Mar 2020 #7
This message was self-deleted by its author jimfields33 Mar 2020 #4
I had to delete. I fell for it again!!!!! jimfields33 Mar 2020 #5
1000 usd will buy a quickie pee party Celerity Mar 2020 #2
Poor Onion HAB911 Mar 2020 #6
had me...till paragraph 3 stillcool Mar 2020 #8

Response to hlthe2b (Reply #1)

jimfields33

(15,703 posts)
5. I had to delete. I fell for it again!!!!!
Fri Mar 20, 2020, 08:46 AM
Mar 2020

I have been having a problem distinguishing sarcasm the last year or so. Makes me made that I’m so gullible, but in my defense. We have an idiot as president.

HAB911

(8,867 posts)
6. Poor Onion
Fri Mar 20, 2020, 08:47 AM
Mar 2020

I'm confident this actually has taken place. No one can top the reality of this asshole.

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