Violently Bored Americans Begin Looting Puzzle Stores

[nycbos]

NORTHWOOD, NH—Isolated and desperate for a fun new hobby or pastime in the face of social-distancing measures implemented to fight Covid-19, hysterical mobs of violently bored citizens have begun looting puzzle stores across the country, sources confirmed Friday. “People were grabbing up the jigsaws, the crosswords, the sudokus—even climbing over each other to get to the Rubik’s Cubes, if you can believe that,” said Howard Beaman, owner of the now-devastated Piece Time Puzzles, one of several hundred such specialty stores that reportedly had their windows smashed and saw their entire inventories seized by panicked Americans stuck at home and in dire need of a suitable diversion.

https://www.theonion.com/violently-bored-americans-begin-looting-puzzle-stores-1842429517?utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=Facebook&utm_campaign=SF&utm_content=Main&fbclid=IwAR1UI6OatiEit71XdQ-m7EZXdq0A-2HUPzCKvHqpdnQnSTIASQEvj7umoNY

[rzemanfl]

1. That this would ever be humorous for The Onion to write about is

mind boggling.

[barbtries]

2. online poker.

i divert my attention to it regularly throughout the day.

[eleny]

3. I forgot about some puzzles we've never opened!

Now if I could get the clean laundry piled on the dining table all folded and put away....

[Danascot]

4. The Onion is prophetic.

Just wait 'til the internet goes down.

[gopiscrap]

6. welcome to DU

[gopiscrap]

7. welcome to DU