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Joe Nation

(962 posts)
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 03:23 PM Mar 2020

My son got married today

My first born, my first to marry, my son got married today. I wasn’t there. My wife wasn’t there. My other sons were not there. No grandparents, No aunts. No uncles. No cousins. No life-long friends. Just one person they asked to perform the ceremony and one witness.

The guest list was never grand. They only invited the people that were closest to them. The beautiful conservatory was reserved. The honeymoon was planned. A week in China, a week in South Korea, and a week in Japan seeing all the sights. A trip of a lifetime to celebrate their union.

Slowly, all the plans they had made began to unravel like a slow-moving catastrophe. With the COVID-19 outbreak in China, they had to alter their plans and decided to only visit South Korea and Japan. It just gave them more time to see the other two countries they noted.

Once the virus spread crossed the borders, South Korea and eventually Japan were also off the table. Undaunted, they planned to take a trip to New Orleans and then Las Vegas as a substitute for their grand Asia honeymoon. Even those plans were peeled away. The dinners venues, the hotels, the airlines all regretted the inconvenience and refunded little if any real money.

The venue they had carefully chosen announced that they were closing under orders from the State. The wedding was a matter of weeks away. Every single plan they had carefully made was peeled away like a sticky band aid on a large gash and just as painful. It was as if the world didn’t want they to get married.

Today, they said the hell with all of that and got married anyway. Proof that we will persevere and get through this but only if we do it together. I am so proud of them.

49 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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My son got married today (Original Post) Joe Nation Mar 2020 OP
How you feel - is how we feel, so proud of them. FM123 Mar 2020 #1
Good for them. I sure hope they can fulfill their dream honeymoon soon. efhmc Mar 2020 #2
wow. congrats. Demovictory9 Mar 2020 #3
Nice post - thank you Tom Kitten Mar 2020 #4
There will come a time when they can repeat the ceremony... Wounded Bear Mar 2020 #5
Congratulations to all.. mountain grammy Mar 2020 #6
Congratulations to you and your family dlk Mar 2020 #7
I'm proud of them too. MarianJack Mar 2020 #8
Congrats. Texaswitchy Mar 2020 #9
You can have a hell of a party when all this is over. Lars39 Mar 2020 #10
Congratulations! mcar Mar 2020 #11
Happy and sad malaise Mar 2020 #12
Congratulations. Sorry your son's plans were dashed. Fla Dem Mar 2020 #13
Congratulations to you and your son Joe! smirkymonkey Mar 2020 #14
A lot to be proud of. cilla4progress Mar 2020 #15
Congratulations and best wishes to your son and his wife. gademocrat7 Mar 2020 #16
My first born, my 27 year daughter, is due with her first child panader0 Mar 2020 #17
Beautiful and heartbreaking story Wheezy Mar 2020 #18
They made history for the family doing this lunatica Mar 2020 #19
Congratulations Freddie Mar 2020 #20
How we face adversity is what defines us. sdfernando Mar 2020 #21
Mazel tov! LudwigPastorius Mar 2020 #22
It seems the safe thing to do. TNNurse Mar 2020 #23
Thank you all for the kind wishes. Joe Nation Mar 2020 #24
They sound like an awesome couple! BeckyDem Mar 2020 #25
that's so sad. barbtries Mar 2020 #26
Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your son's story. diva77 Mar 2020 #27
Congratulations! Save the party and honeymoon for later Maeve Mar 2020 #28
Perhaps when this pandemic is behind us, and we come out of isolation, vlyons Mar 2020 #29
Good for them wryter2000 Mar 2020 #30
Boy will they have stories to tell their grandchildren. magicarpet Mar 2020 #31
Congratulations! Cheers to the happy (undaunted) couple!! FailureToCommunicate Mar 2020 #32
They persisted. Congrats to the new couple. They can have makeup ceremony, reception, & honeymoon iluvtennis Mar 2020 #33
or they can plan a reaaaallly great (10th or 5th or 1st) anniversary bash demigoddess Mar 2020 #41
The most important thing that happens at a wedding localroger Mar 2020 #34
So sorry it had to be this way. lpbk2713 Mar 2020 #35
Congratulations Laurelin Mar 2020 #36
I have good friend in Belfast just found out her marlakay Mar 2020 #37
Don't know about food places, PoindexterOglethorpe Mar 2020 #38
Good for them. They should host a reception next year, for their first anniversary. Liberty Belle Mar 2020 #39
congrats to onethatcares Mar 2020 #40
Congratulations to the happy newlyweds!!! GeoWilliam750 Mar 2020 #42
The course of true love never did run smooth. meadowlander Mar 2020 #43
My wife has never really forgiven me for our wedding. NNadir Mar 2020 #44
I'm so sorry you couldn't be there radical noodle Mar 2020 #45
Congratulations to your son and his new spouse. IrishEyes Mar 2020 #46
Congratulations and Best Wishes to the happy couple! littlemissmartypants Mar 2020 #47
What's that pithy movie line.. denbot Mar 2020 #48
Mazel Tov! SunSeeker Mar 2020 #49

efhmc

(14,725 posts)
2. Good for them. I sure hope they can fulfill their dream honeymoon soon.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 03:37 PM
Mar 2020

I was actually just thinking of all the plans for celebrations (weddings) and showers (just cancelled my niece's)confirmations and bar/bat mitzvah, graduations (my gson's probably) etc are going down the drain. Too bad we could not have had a person in charge who was on top of this thing sooner.

Wounded Bear

(58,618 posts)
5. There will come a time when they can repeat the ceremony...
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 03:40 PM
Mar 2020

and have their honeymoon. This will not last forever.

I'm glad they were able to get married, at least, but all the big stuff can be done another time.

dlk

(11,537 posts)
7. Congratulations to you and your family
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 03:46 PM
Mar 2020

Your son’s and his new wife’s optimism is inspiring. I wish them a long and happy life, together.

mcar

(42,287 posts)
11. Congratulations!
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 03:48 PM
Mar 2020

Not how you wanted it to happen, but you got yourself a new family member and that is a reason for

 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
14. Congratulations to you and your son Joe!
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 03:49 PM
Mar 2020

I am so sorry things didn't work out as planned, but hopefully once this is all over they can finally have the party/honeymoon of their dreams.

panader0

(25,816 posts)
17. My first born, my 27 year daughter, is due with her first child
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 04:02 PM
Mar 2020

on Thursday. No one is allowed to be there except her husband. I live across the
country and shouldn't fly (DVT) and am usually broke, but now is not the time to travel.
She is very healthy and she and her hubbie have three months paid leave.
But she says it is sad to bring a new baby girl into the world in the midst
of this pandemic.
Congrats to the newlyweds and you!

Wheezy

(1,763 posts)
18. Beautiful and heartbreaking story
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 04:02 PM
Mar 2020

My son and future daughter-in-law are postponing their wedding which was going to be on April 4. It was heartbreaking to watch them come to the realization that the thing they'd been planning for 2 years wasn't able to happen the way they wanted it...or even at all.

Now shooting for October.

In the end, we're all happy we are healthy, but it's still sad.

lunatica

(53,410 posts)
19. They made history for the family doing this
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 04:12 PM
Mar 2020

The Coronavirus put every obstacle in their way and still they united in a loving lifelong bond. I admire your newlyweds for taking such a brightly hopeful and confident step into their future. Such love and optimism will weather all their rough patches in life!

Freddie

(9,258 posts)
20. Congratulations
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 04:13 PM
Mar 2020

They should fight to get their $$ back.
My son was supposed to get married April 18. It’s now indefinitely postponed. The wedding venue said they could apply the deposit to another date. The house I rented for a week said the same. Frontier (ugh) has ended cancellation fees and the website said I could use what I paid in airfare for a future flight. I have trip insurance in the rental car. They had planned a honeymoon in Seattle and cancelled it as things started to look bad there, before they decided to postpone the wedding.
They’re handling it well. They WILL get married, just not now. And I’m going to cry like a baby dancing to “The Wonder Of You” (Elvis) with my wonderful son.

sdfernando

(4,929 posts)
21. How we face adversity is what defines us.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 04:14 PM
Mar 2020

Congratulations to your son and daughter-in-law. When this is all over the plans can be remade and a true celebration can happen.

Peace

TNNurse

(6,926 posts)
23. It seems the safe thing to do.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 04:20 PM
Mar 2020

There can be a party later, there can be an re-enactment. There can be a celebration.

barbtries

(28,787 posts)
26. that's so sad.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 04:43 PM
Mar 2020

maybe you can set up some kind of virtual reception for them.
Mazeltov! Love in the Time of Coronavirus

diva77

(7,638 posts)
27. Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your son's story.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 04:44 PM
Mar 2020

bittersweet & defiantly beautiful all in one

Maeve

(42,279 posts)
28. Congratulations! Save the party and honeymoon for later
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 04:45 PM
Mar 2020

As a side note, we're celebrating our 44th anniversary today so it's a lucky day for a wedding!

vlyons

(10,252 posts)
29. Perhaps when this pandemic is behind us, and we come out of isolation,
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 04:45 PM
Mar 2020

thay can renew their vows at a big family celebration on an anniversary.

wryter2000

(46,025 posts)
30. Good for them
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 04:49 PM
Mar 2020

They can have a grand party when this is all over and then go on a fabulous trip. Let me recommended the Galapagos.

FailureToCommunicate

(14,011 posts)
32. Congratulations! Cheers to the happy (undaunted) couple!!
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 04:55 PM
Mar 2020

They should definitely pull together some goggle images of all the places they meant to visit and photoshop themselves -and heck, even some friends - into the shots...and make a wedding/honeymoon album!


iluvtennis

(19,843 posts)
33. They persisted. Congrats to the new couple. They can have makeup ceremony, reception, & honeymoon
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 05:11 PM
Mar 2020

after the crisis has abated.

localroger

(3,622 posts)
34. The most important thing that happens at a wedding
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 05:17 PM
Mar 2020

...is the vow. Everything else is window dressing. And in times like these, you have to get the important stuff done.

Laurelin

(518 posts)
36. Congratulations
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 05:32 PM
Mar 2020

I can see where your son got his positive attitude and resilience from.
My daughter's wedding is supposed to be in May so I understand how difficult it is to lose months or years of hard work, careful planning and dreams. My daughter can't even find a jp to marry them because of virus restrictions. I admire your son for managing to face all his changes and you for accepting that you couldn't be there. I hope the newlywed have a long and wonderful life together and that soon you'll get to see them.

Stay well.

marlakay

(11,443 posts)
37. I have good friend in Belfast just found out her
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 05:46 PM
Mar 2020

Wedding was canceled that she had planned a huge Irish wedding, if you have never been to one they party for like 12 hrs!

They decided to still get married like you son and just have a few kids in backyard toast them will have big party later.

PoindexterOglethorpe

(25,839 posts)
38. Don't know about food places,
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 06:08 PM
Mar 2020

but the airlines and hotels have been giving full refunds.

I've cancelled a trip to Seattle and I am getting back every penny in pre-paid things. Including Amtrak, which originally was going to keep 25%.

meadowlander

(4,393 posts)
43. The course of true love never did run smooth.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 06:45 PM
Mar 2020

I know a couple where the bride is Australian and the groom is a Kiwi. With the various travel restrictions in each country both families would have had to self-isolate for a month in order to travel to the wedding.

They're thinking about cancelling but have already put non-refundable deposits down on everything.

It's a story to tell the grandkids though

In sixty years what will matter is how they feel about each other and how they worked together to overcome adversity, not that they lost a couple grand on flowers and prime rib.

NNadir

(33,509 posts)
44. My wife has never really forgiven me for our wedding.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 09:08 PM
Mar 2020

After about 15 years, it became something of some amusement, but for a while it really bugged her, more because of the dynamics of her family than anything really about me.

We were stuck in blizzards in Lake Tahoe, she twisted her knee skiing, and I wasn't entirely sure how to put the required chains on the rental car.

We were running out of time, waiting for the roads to clear, but finally we got out, her in a leg brace. We found an open chapel; the pastor there was drunk, no flowers could be brought on but we had some plastic flowers, and an instant camera which produced pictures 100% of which had red eye.

But we got married; our license we'd obtained when landing in Reno passing through Carson City. We got back to our skiing Condo, and she said, "forget it pal," about wedding night traditions, since her knee was hurting with any motions.

The marriage, though, has been wonderful and long lasting.

My father in law who had used a special Italian-American expression to let us know how he felt about us marrying - "I'm not paying for the wedding!" (which I finally understood when watching Moonstruck - but paid for an elaborate fancy wedding for my sister-in-law. (My father-in-law later healed our relationship, and I miss him greatly since he died.)

I think my sister-in-law's marriage lasted maybe ten years; the love in that marriage, fancy wedding and all, was gone well before that.

After many decades, I'm still very much in love with my wife, and the only thing I ask of her is to let me die first, because I couldn't live without her.

In those rare times our wedding comes up, I point out that it is much better if the wedding sucks and the marriage is wonderful than it is the other way around. Now we giggle about it.

The most beautiful thing in my life, by far, is my marriage, and my life has been filled with other beautiful things, but above them all comes the decades with the woman with whom I tied the knot under very sloppy haphazard conditions.

radical noodle

(8,000 posts)
45. I'm so sorry you couldn't be there
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 09:16 PM
Mar 2020

They aren't the only ones. A family friend had a wedding planned for yesterday and didn't find out until Monday that it had all fallen apart. There was no honeymoon planned, just a nice ceremony at a state park with family and close friends. They decided to wait and do it later because they wanted their loved ones to be with them. I know it's a tough choice for any couple faced with this.

Best wishes to your son and his wife.

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