Paul Ryan says his diet and exercise have turned his skeleton to titanium.

[porphyrian]

Paul Ryan says he got laid at four years old.

Paul Ryan says he can bench press a church.

Paul Ryan says his daddy can beat up your daddy.

[jsr]

1. And raised his IQ to room temperature

[VWolf]

17. Celsius n/t

[jsr]

21. Yep.

[porphyrian]

25. Paul Ryan says he invented the Celsius scale. n/t

[porphyrian]

24. Paul Ryan says he's smarter than Einstein and Alex Trebek put together. n/t

[VWolf]

31. Einstein, Hawking and Witten, perhaps. Let's leave Trebek out of it LOL

[porphyrian]

2. Paul Ryans says he can create ten million jobs with one phone call. n/t

[IrishEyes]

5. If that phone call was his announcing his support for Obama.

He could save a few jobs.

[porphyrian]

26. Paul Ryan says his support would make Obama win the election. n/t

[Erose999]

3. Paul Ryan can swallow a raw egg whole without breaking it. And poop out a live chicken.

[porphyrian]

27. Paul Ryan says he already did that. Twice. n/t

[Javaman]

133. And both came out made of gold. nt

[porphyrian]

4. Paul Ryan says he can jump onto the roof of the Sears Tower from Maine. n/t

[lapislzi]

6. Some say Paul Ryan is the Stig.

[HangOnKids]

8. Top Gear Baby! n/t

[porphyrian]

28. Paul Ryan says he was all of the Stigs. n/t

[porphyrian]

7. Paul Ryan says he's a commercial airline pilot. A professional...commercial...airline...pilot. n/t

[Blue Owl]

9. Watch the monkeys flying out of Paul Ryan's butt.

n/t

[porphyrian]

29. Paul Ryan says he does have butt monkeys, but they're invisible, so you can't watch them. n/t

[HughBeaumont]

10. Paul Ryan can run his fingers across dental floss and it will turn to a 14k Gold chain.

Paul Ryan dug his way out of Alcatrazz using nothing but a nostril hair . . . when he was 12.

Paul Ryan, using nothing but Craftsman tools, tungsten and 24 hours, transformed a 1971 Nova into a Time Machine.

Paul Ryan composed and recorded an hour long live symphony with 350 random-filled water glasses, six wood blocks and a glockenspiel.

[porphyrian]

12. Double points for using "glockenspiel." n/t

[deutsey]

187. Paul Ryan invented the glockenspiel

[frylock]

465. he didn't invent it, per se..

but he was a consultant.

[deutsey]

466. Why do you hate America?

[frylock]

468. Paul Ryan was the first person to ever accuse someone of "hating America"

[deutsey]

469. LOL

[porphyrian]

11. Paul Ryan says he can speak with the dead. n/t

[HughBeaumont]

13. No exaggeration there . . . look at his running mate.

[porphyrian]

30. Paul Ryan says that's not funny. n/t

[porphyrian]

14. Paul Ryan says it's not a tax, it's a fee. n/t

[geardaddy]

51. Yeah, but Timmy the Tool Pawlenty

said that first.

[porphyrian]

15. Paul Ryan says he knew you were going to say that. n/t

[porphyrian]

16. Paul Ryan says he can reverse gravity with his will alone. n/t

[bullwinkle428]

18. "Did I ever tell you about the time Ryan went hunting? Ryan decides

he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle."

PAUL RYAN!!!!!

[porphyrian]

33. Paul Ryan says he wrote that skit for SNL. n/t

[Arkana]

19. Oh yeah?

Well my diet and exercise have turned my skeleton to ADA-FUCKIN-MANTIUM. Deal with it.

[porphyrian]

34. Paul Ryans says yeah, but he's got the claws in his hands AND his feet. n/t

[Lint Head]

20. Paul Ryan says he uses his penis to pole vault.

[porphyrian]

35. Paul Ryan says that's how he won the Olympics. n/t

[MatthewStLouis]

22. The guy thinks he's Putin! :)

(Any bored photo shoppers out there?)

[porphyrian]

38. Paul Ryan says he created Photoshop and sold it to Adobe. n/t

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

23. He can even travel back through time

[porphyrian]

39. Paul Ryan says he created America by going back in time. n/t

[randome]

32. The heat from Paul Ryan's awesomeness is what's melting the Arctic.

[porphyrian]

40. Paul Ryan says he can reverse polar melting by striking a pose and staring at the water. n/t

[pnwest]

36. Paul Ryan says he can touch the moon with his penis...

...but he has to fold it in half first.

[porphyrian]

43. Paul Ryan says that's how he gave scientists the idea for a space elevator. n/t

[SaveAmerica]

390. I'm dying here!! Tou gys are too funny!

[smirkymonkey]

505. Okay, that is really funny!

However, I am pretty sure the opposite is true. He probably has a tiny little whisky weenie, which would explain A LOT.

[randome]

37. Paul Ryan destroyed the planet Krypton when he screwed Superman's mother.

[porphyrian]

44. Paul Ryan says he's proud of that one. n/t

[Aerows]

41. Paul Ryan

once kicked a McDonald's and it turned into a Wendy's.

[porphyrian]

45. Paul Ryan says that's how they invented the $.99 menu. n/t

[Aerows]

57. Paul Ryan says that if elected as VP

His first move will be to create the $.01 menu.

[randome]

42. Paul Ryan says the reason Romney stutters and stumbles...

...is because he got a look at Ryan with his shirt off.

[porphyrian]

46. Paul Ryan says he can cure glaucoma with his pecs. n/t

[randome]

47. Paul Ryan says he can lie to Wonder Woman's lasso of truth.

[Aerows]

52. When Paul Ryan fires a bullet

Wonder Woman's magic bracelets can't deflect it.

[porphyrian]

53. Paul Ryan says the Justice League is real, but they operate undercover. n/t

[Spirochete]

48. Ryan/Norris 2016! n/t

[porphyrian]

56. Paul Ryan says he and Chuck Norris always tie in kickboxing. n/t

[geardaddy]

49. I love this thread.

[porphyrian]

58. Paul Ryan says he predicted you would say that in 1988, but he didn't write it down. n/t

[randome]

50. The full text of the Mayan calendar predicting doom in 2012 has been translated.

It ends with the words 'Paul Ryan'.

[porphyrian]

61. Paul Ryan says the Mayans disappeared because they didn't cut enough social programs. n/t

[Aerows]

64. Paul Ryan says

that the Aztecs disappeared because they didn't sacrifice enough already born children.

[Scootaloo]

54. I've wanted to create a compilation of "Paul Ryan Facts"

In the vein of chuck Norris and Vin Diesel facts.
Looks like you're ahead of me!

[porphyrian]

65. Paul Ryan says he started Vin Diesel's career. n/t

[Scootaloo]

72. Vin Diesel says he started Paul Ryan; Mrs. Ryan still calls. n/t

[Aerows]

55. Paul Ryan

is married to Morgan Fairchild. Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket, he says.

[porphyrian]

67. Paul Ryan says he went canoeing with Jon Lovitz, from Canada to Africa. n/t

[nolabear]

59. Paul Ryan says he's really Paul Bunyan.

And Mitt's Babe the Blue Ox.

[porphyrian]

68. Paul Ryan says he was the first lumberjack to wear plaid. n/t

[frylock]

467. Paul Ryan was the first lumberjack to jack lumber

[RKP5637]

60. Paul Ryan says his real name is Alisa Zinov'yevna Rosenbaum. n/t

[porphyrian]

69. Paul Ryan says that's hot. n/t

[RKP5637]

105. LOL! and Paul says just call me Ayn for short, like in Ayn Rand. n/t

[Aerows]

62. Paul Ryan says

the he once took a walk and invented the smiley face by wiping his own with a fan's t-shirt.

[porphyrian]

70. Paul Ryan says he gave them permission to put that scene in Forrest Gump. n/t

[pa28]

63. Ever wonder what happened to this guy?

Now you know.

[porphyrian]

71. Paul Ryan says he held that tank with sheer strength and that China is still mad at us for it. n/t

[Lucy Goosey]

66. Not only did Paul Ryan swim the English Channel...

...he swam the Atlantic to get to the English Channel!

[porphyrian]

73. Paul Ryan says he swam all the way home with his family on his back. n/t

[randome]

74. When Paul Ryan goes for a manicure, they haul out the steel wire cutters.

[porphyrian]

78. Paul Ryan says he can cut his own nails with his abs. n/t

[geardaddy]

75. Paul Ryan carved the Rosetta Stone

and left if for Napoleon's troops to find.

[porphyrian]

79. Paul Ryan says he learned ancient Greek in one day to do that. n/t

[geardaddy]

87. Paul Ryan says he invented hieroglyphs. n/t

[randome]

76. Paul Ryan's navel lint can cure cancer!

[porphyrian]

83. Paul Ryan says cancer is caused by high taxes and welfare. n/t

[Aerows]

77. Paul Ryan says

that he was born in a log cabin that he built by himself.

[porphyrian]

84. Paul Ryan says he cut down the trees by punching them. n/t

[randome]

80. Paul Ryan says Sarah Palin was once a well-spoken, intelligent woman.

But then she spent ten minutes with him alone and the rest is history!

[lapislzi]

81. I saw Paul Ryan in hand to claw combat with a velociraptor

While riding on the back of a T Rex.

[randome]

82. Paul Ryan invented the Internet so we could talk about him more!

[MrTriumph]

85. Paul Ryan says he was Marie Laveau’s voodoo king before Handsome Jack and Ronald Reagan

And he has the one-eyed snake and a three-legged dog to prove it.

[randome]

86. When Paul Ryan takes off his socks, they try to put themselves back on!

[randome]

88. You know that asteroid that narrowly missed Earth last month? Paul Ryan.

[randome]

89. The missing dark matter of the Universe has been found...

...in Paul Ryan's dreamy eyes.

[randome]

90. Paul Ryan can hang glide without a glider.

[randome]

91. Paul Ryan is a part-time exorcist on the side. He just shows up and then goes home.

[Rambis]

92. Paul Ryan and his brother

[randome]

93. Paul Ryan is why bats hide in the dark.

[HughBeaumont]

94. Paul Ryan floated over Bhutan and they converted to capitalism.

Paul Ryan ate Pol Pot. Alive.

Paul Ryan turned himself into a tub full of bath beads and seduced your wife.

Paul Ryan wins karaoke contests by mimicking Steve Perry to pitch.

Paul Ryan can juggle machetes with his bare feet.

Paul Ryan defeated all of Brad Wesley's henchmen using nothing but fists and his dick.

Paul Ryan can walk on his tongues.

Paul Ryan can rip subways in half.

[randome]

95. In grade school, a kid shot a spitball at Paul Ryan.

The EPA still keeps the area off limits.

[porphyrian]

96. Paul Ryan says he can detect radioactive material by scent. n/t

[randome]

97. Julian Assange once accidentally leaked an unauthorized photo of Paul Ryan.

That's the real reason he's in hiding.

[randome]

98. Paul Ryan drove this site underground.

[randome]

99. Paul Ryan doesn't 'tweet'. He 'obliterates'.

[Populist_Prole]

100. His fans must live in a sterile corporate bubble

He looks like a typical anal retentive white collar dork to me.

[geardaddy]

101. Paul Ryan won the Civil War single-handedly. n/t

[randome]

102. The reason Congress gives so much in subsidies to farmers...

...is so Paul Ryan has enough space to bury his enemies in the cornfields.

[porphyrian]

103. Paul Ryan says he will change the office of Vice President to the Miami Vice President. n/t

[randome]

104. AT&T has an entire department dedicated to giving Paul Ryan's cell phone first rate service!

[randome]

106. Stephen Hawking thought he had solved the riddle of the Universe.

But he still can't figure out Paul Ryan.

[randome]

107. When Paul Ryan cross-dresses, women weep.

[porphyrian]

108. Paul Ryan says Romney has never contradicted himself. n/t

[KamaAina]

109. Paul Ryan says the moon is made of green cheese.

And he oughta know, being a cheesehead and all.

[randome]

110. When Paul Ryan puts an extracted tooth under his pillow, the Tooth Fairy gives him a blow job!

[bongbong]

111. LOL

Paul Ryan says he deflowered Madonna.

[randome]

112. Paul Ryan is the reason Godzilla stopped attacking Japan.

[porphyrian]

113. Paul Ryan says he can touch magma without getting burned. n/t

[lumberjack_jeff]

114. Paul Ryan and Tommy Flanagan are both married to Morgan Fairchild.

Yeah! That's the ticket!

[randome]

115. Paul Ryan says, "I'm Paul Ryan." And people run!

[porphyrian]

116. Paul Ryan says he can drink as much alcohol as he wants and still drive perfectly. n/t

[randome]

117. Paul Ryan put his parents in a nursing home. And then put the nursing home on Mount Olympus!

[randome]

118. Paul Ryan eliminated the letter '~' from the alphabet!

[-..__...]

424. Paul Ryan owns the copyright to the alphabet.

[flvegan]

119. Paul Ryan can't swim in lakes because his sweat will instantly brine all the ducks.

[porphyrian]

120. Paul Ryan says that song is about him, but he's not vain. n/t

[WinkyDink]

121. Paul Ryan says he will be Vice-President.

[randome]

122. The recent earthquakes in Indonesia were caused by one of Paul Ryan's farts!

[Hugabear]

123. Paul Ryan was the inspiration for comic book character Wolverine

Wolverine has an adamantium skeleton, which is the strongest metal known to man (in the comic book world).

He has the ability to rapidly heal himself.

Just like Paul Ryan.

[Matariki]

124. Wait! What? Paul Ryan is actually Chuck Norris???!

[Buns_of_Fire]

199. Chuck Norris? PFAH! Chuck Norris calls Paul Ryan for hints

on how to be so totally awesome that if you gaze upon him without protective eyegear, your brains turn to cottage cheese, your heart turns to stone, and your genitals fall off.

[Aerows]

313. Paul Ryan

gagged Chuck Norris with a spoon.

[Ikonoklast]

125. Paul Ryan slapped Superman until he cried, then stole his cape.

Paul Ryan thought he made a mistake once...but he was wrong.

Paul Ryan made the Kraken wished he was never released.

Paul Ryan can impregnate a woman just by winking at her.

Paul Ryan walked solo across Antartica, in gym shorts and flip-flops.

Paul Ryan is the person Ghandi wishes he was.

Paul Ryan once told Paul McCartney that yesterday, all his troubles seemed so far away.

[randome]

126. Paul Ryan replied to this message.

But computers can't process that amount of awesomeness!

[randome]

127. When Paul Ryan heard the Soviet Union shot a puppy into space, he broke it up!

[flvegan]

128. Paul Ryan's urine is highly anabolic, on the World Anti-Doping Agency's banned substance list.

[porphyrian]

129. Paul Ryan says he makes his own flour by round kicking wheat. n/t

[randome]

130. Paul Ryan communicates with whales. Every time he goes to New Jersey!

[porphyrian]

131. Paul Ryan says he can play Metallica on guitar - with his lips. n/t

[Aerows]

132. Paul Ryan says

You have so much body fat, even God couldn't lift your spirit.

[porphyrian]

134. Paul Ryan says he will decriminalize marijuana so that he can recriminalize it. n/t

[randome]

135. If Paul Ryan truly wanted to pass a bill...

...the speed of light would no longer be limited.

[Javaman]

136. Chuck Norris is not amused. nt

[porphyrian]

137. Paul Ryan says he called permanent shotgun. n/t

[randome]

138. The Sun never rises until it checks with Paul Ryan first.

[LeftyMom]

139. Paul Ryan completely understood LOST.

[smackd]

316. LOL

[Taverner]

140. Paul Ryan says he can break your arms with just a thought

[Thinkingabout]

141. Lips of lyin' and sh-- for brains

[randome]

142. Paul Ryan's spellchecker NEVER reports an issue!

[randome]

143. There is a secret underground bunker where Paul Ryan masturbates.

That's why the center of the Earth is a churning ball of fire!

[bullwinkle428]

144. "The Pope told Ryan it was okay to have a mistress."

That one works on SO many levels!

[randome]

145. Paul Ryan designed Microsoft's new Metro OS.

No one is brave enough to tell him it's wrong.

[randome]

146. Paul Ryan says Firefly was NOT canceled.

To this day, friends and relatives gather at his house to watch the latest episode.

[randome]

147. Paul Ryan is the reason Doctor Who won't stay in one place!

[randome]

148. Paul Ryan can make a swan scream.

[LeftyMom]

149. Paul Ryan found Princess Peach in the first castle.

[loyalsister]

150. I think he was either very scrawny or overweight when he was a kid and in HS

He is overcompensating way too much to not have lived much of his life as an insecure whiner.

[HughBeaumont]

151. Paul Ryan CAN piss six feet in the air without getting wet.

Paul Ryan stands under Niagara Falls when he wants to wet his whistle.

Paul Ryan surfed on a Juggernaut through the streets of Kolkota and the hordes threw flowers at him.

Paul Ryan once kicked Ronald Reagan in the balls, threw his head back and laughed maniacally.

Paul Ryan does morning back-flips from Union Station to the Lincoln Memorial and doesn't once stop for traffic.

[MjolnirTime]

152. Paul Ryan is the result of a one-night stand between Bill Brasky and Chuck Norris.

[randome]

153. Paul Ryan guided Apollo 11 to a safe landing. By pointing.

[porphyrian]

154. Paul Ryan says he only drinks 200% milk. n/t

[porphyrian]

156. Paul Ryan says he fills his own cavities by chewing on silver. n/t

[randome]

155. Paul Ryan's security clearance says 'Paul Ryan'.

[randome]

157. Here's a good one. Paul Ryan walks into this bar...

...Now laugh, damnit! Before he finds out it's not funny!

[porphyrian]

158. Paul Ryan says the fifth letter of his name is both silent and invisible. n/t

[randome]

159. Paul Ryan's calendar is ALWAYS open. And has 22 months.

[randome]

160. Time flows in only one direction. Whichever way Paul Ryan happens to be facing!

[randome]

161. The molecules in Paul Ryan's body cannot be divided into anything smaller.

[porphyrian]

162. Paul Ryan says he's gonna come at you like a spider monkey! Like a spider monkey! n/t

[renie408]

163. I love you guys.

This is the funniest, smartest group of people on the internet.

It is so hard where I live to be a liberal Democrat. I cannot believe I forgot how much I love this place! (as much as it drives me CRAZY sometimes!)

[flvegan]

164. Paul Ryan made the Kessel Run in less than EIGHT parsecs.

[LeftyMom]

165. Paul Ryan knows the last digit of pi.

[randome]

166. Paul Ryan once defeated the Dallas Cowboys in a pre-season game...

...that left many of the players weeping and calling for their mothers.

[flvegan]

167. Paul Ryan is the only thing the Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger gives a shit about.

[smirkymonkey]

332. LOL!

That's just NASTY! Paul Ryan don't give a shit.

[Aeroette]

340. ROTFLMAO

[randome]

168. The pirate Captain Agorn once ran afoul of Paul Ryan.

That's how he became known as 'Captain Hook'.

[porphyrian]

169. Paul Ryan says he makes mustaches cool without even growning one. n/t

[porphyrian]

172. Paul Ryan says he can juice a diamond. n/t

[randome]

170. Count to one. You still won't be fast enough to stop Paul Ryan!

[randome]

171. The Human Centipede was Paul Ryan's idea.

He said it was a touching love story and who are we to disagree?

[randome]

173. Paul Ryan built Mary Shelley.

[pnwest]

174. Paul Ryan says everywhere he's slept, he's lied.

[randome]

175. Paul Ryan lights candles by threatening to cut their funding!

[porphyrian]

176. Paul Ryan says he can browbeat a kodiac bear into cuddling with him. n/t

[randome]

177. The Church of Paul Ryan is all you need to know. Ever. About anything.

[LeftyMom]

178. Paul Ryan's fantasy football team has a 45,000 seat stadium.

[randome]

179. "If I had a hammer..."

...I'd bash my face in just to please Paul Ryan!

[randome]

180. Paul Ryan once made a man LITERALLY pull himself up by his bootstraps!

[bullwinkle428]

181. They use Ryan's foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Miller Park.

[LeftyMom]

182. Paul Ryan cut NASA funding because he can toss their next probe to Mars for free.

[porphyrian]

183. Paul Ryan says he's the reason Spanish is a Romance language. n/t

[flvegan]

184. Paul Ryan's manicurist is a fireman with advanced experience with the Jaws of Life.

[randome]

185. When Paul Ryan laughs out loud, everyone temporarily forgets the number '4'.

[randome]

186. Paul Ryan scrubs his toilets with the maid. For fun.

[randome]

188. When Paul Ryan sings a lullaby, coma patients wake up!

[LeftyMom]

189. Paul Ryan farts in four part harmony.

[flvegan]

190. Paul Ryan never claps out of fear of creating strangelets.

[randome]

191. Paul Ryan doesn't NEED a keyboard for his iPad. It does what he tells it to do!

[porphyrian]

192. Paul Ryan says only HE can prevent forest fires. n/t

[flvegan]

193. Paul Ryan used his xray vision to see Kate Middleton's breasts months ago.

[randome]

194. Paul Ryan's phone number is unlisted.

Anyone who attempts to write it down ends up in rehab.

[LeftyMom]

195. Paul Ryan read the Bible. Jesus lived, blew up Rome and scored with Mary Magdalene.

[randome]

196. Paul Ryan eats nothing but sunshine and air.

His pores are wormholes into other dimensions.

[tblue37]

197. Paul Ryan says St. Paul was named after him. nt

[flvegan]

198. Paul Ryan could end global warming by using a hand fan 30 minutes per day.

[randome]

200. Paul Ryan's birthday is tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.

[riverbendviewgal]

201. so?

What does that have to do with being vice president?

[randome]

202. Paul Ryan's mother is the galaxy Andromeda. He doesn't speak about his father.

[randome]

203. Paul Ryan's shoelaces are the basis of String Theory.

[flvegan]

204. Paul Ryan Week is replacing Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.

[Buns_of_Fire]

211. Too late. The Discovery Channel is being replaced by The Paul Ryan Channel.

[LeftyMom]

205. Paul Ryan hasn't told George RR Martin who Jon Snow's parents really are yet.

[Arugula Latte]

206. The Hubble telescope spontaneously fixed itself when Paul Ryan came in its sights.

[randome]

207. Steve Jobs once requested a favor from Paul Ryan. We all know what happened to him!

[Arugula Latte]

208. Paul Ryan can clap with one hand.

[randome]

209. In sand volleyball, when Paul Ryan spikes the ball, people die.

[Arugula Latte]

210. Paul Ryan's car elevator is his own two arms.

[flvegan]

212. Paul Ryan is the king lording over The Knights Who Say Ni.

[LeftyMom]

217. Paul Ryan knows the airspeed velocity of any species of swallow.

[flvegan]

224. Paul Ryan was the slayer of the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh

[LeftyMom]

310. Paul Ryan does routines and chorus scenes with footwork im-pec-able.

Sorry, work.

[randome]

213. Mitt Romney is Paul Ryan's idea of a practical joke!

[randome]

214. As a child, Paul Ryan flew a kite to the Moon!

[porphyrian]

215. Paul Ryan says he's never wrong, he's just greater degrees of right. n/t

[Arugula Latte]

216. Time and tide do wait for Paul Ryan.

[randome]

218. Paul Ryan's heart beats twice as fast as a hummingbird's!

[randome]

222. Paul Ryan knows if Schrodinger's cat is alive or not!

[Evasporque]

253. But is resting heart rate is 5 because of his extreme level of fitness.

[porphyrian]

219. Paul Ryan says he's discovered a new element and named it ryaninium...

...but it only exists in his tears, so there is none on Earth.

[deutsey]

220. Paul Ryan says he eats Nigerian "yellow cake" uranium on his birthday

[Arugula Latte]

221. Paul Ryan can eat just one potato chip.

[LeftyMom]

223. Paul Ryan flipped the switch when God said "Let there be light."

[randome]

225. When Paul Ryan draws a line in the sand...

...the sand turns to glass!

[Arugula Latte]

226. Paul Ryan can split atoms through mere suggestion.

[porphyrian]

227. Paul Ryan says he can bend light around his bicep. n/t

[randome]

228. "Paul Ryan" should always appear in bold type and size 5000 font!

[randome]

229. Children don't make noise in Paul Ryan's neighborhood.

There are few of them left.

[porphyrian]

230. Paul Ryan says he can do sit-ups all day without farting at all. n/t

[porphyrian]

231. Paul Ryan says he will calm the Middle East by playing a metal ballad solo. n/t

[randome]

232. Paul Ryan doesn't need to recycle anything. He just eats it and excretes rainbows!

[Arugula Latte]

233. Habanero peppers start to weep when they get a whiff of Paul Ryan.

[porphyrian]

234. Paul Ryan says he was on every episode of Romper Room. n/t

[randome]

235. Paul Ryan got high once. The result was a platypus!

[porphyrian]

236. Paul Ryan says he only uses mirrors for trick shots. n/t

[randome]

237. Paul Ryan's former black girlfriend was Asian when she started.

[KamaAina]

238. Paul Ryan says pi is equal to 3.

For all I know, he actually does say that.

[flvegan]

239. Paul Ryan is a free wi-fi hotspot for up to 15 nearby users.

[porphyrian]

240. Paul Ryan says fundamentalists follow his word to the letter. n/t

[randome]

241. Paul Ryan punched Mitch McConnell's chin clean off his face!

[Arugula Latte]

242. Paul Ryan is the Walrus.

[porphyrian]

243. Paul Ryan says he always gets a discount without the coupon. n/t

[LeftyMom]

244. Paul Ryan wears color contacts to make his eyes less blue.

[Evasporque]

245. Paul Ryan discovered Cheap Trick at the Waukesha Bowl....nt

[randome]

246. Paul Ryan was EVERYONE's date for Prom Night. Including the teachers.

[LeftyMom]

247. Paul Ryan wrote the dirty lyrics to "Louie, Louie"

[bullwinkle428]

248. Ryan asked me one time if I wanted to join him for a drink. We go off looking

for a bar and we can't find one. Finally, Ryan takes me into a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are!' Well, we sat there for a year and a half. Sure enough, someone constructed a bar around us! Well, the day they opened it, we ordered a shot, drank it and then burnt the place to the ground. Ryan yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found them!'"

[LeftyMom]

249. Paul Ryan speaks fluent Vulcan.

[Arugula Latte]

250. Oscar Mayer weiners wish they were Paul Ryan.

[porphyrian]

251. Paul Ryan says he can produce chocolate breast milk for starving babies. n/t

[randome]

252. Paul Ryan's coffee is so strong, he drinks it from a cup made of nuclear fuel rods!