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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsRomney Apologizes To Nation's 150 Million 'Starving, Filthy Beggars'
SALT LAKE CITYSeeking to limit the fallout from a videotaped speech in which he asserts 47 percent of Americans pay no taxes and do not take personal responsibility and care for their lives, Mitt Romney hastily called a press conference today to apologize personally to the 150 million starving, filthy beggars [he] might have offended.
Saying that he deeply regretted his choice of words at a private $50,000-a-plate fundraising function in Mayduring which he argued [his] job is not to worry about the lower-earning half of the nations populaceRomney personally appealed to the countrys dirt-caked garbage pickers and toothless street urchins for forgiveness.
First and foremost, I would like to offer a heartfelt apology to all the whores, junkies, bums, and grime-covered derelicts out there who make up nearly half our nation, a visibly contrite and solemn Romney said outside a campaign stop at a local high school. Let me assure you that I in no way meant to offend any of the putrid-smelling, barefoot masses out there. My campaign is not about dividing this nation, but about bringing all sides togetherthe rich, elegant members of the upper class, as well as the 47 percent who are covered in flies and eat directly from back-alley dumpsters.
I am fully committed to building a better future for every American, Romney continued, and that means ensuring all 150 million grease-and-urine-soaked members of our society get a fair shake.
The Romney campaign reportedly scrambled into damage-control mode after the video leaked Monday, issuing a statement late last night stating that the intended target of Romneys remarks was ingrained big-government largesse, not the hordes of uneducated, loathsome scum who unfortunately populate this country.
More at link:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/romney-apologizes-to-nations-150-million-starving,29603/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=standard-post:quote:default
corkhead
(6,119 posts)Maybe satire is indeed dead.
perhaps the satire is in that he apologized
etherealtruth
(22,165 posts)progressivebydesign
(19,458 posts)7wo7rees
(5,128 posts)Tomorrow he will actually do this, rendering The Onion obsolete.