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Sun Jul 12, 2020, 10:50 AM

We can't stand them either.

As I watch instance after instance of obnoxious white women calling the police on black people who are simply minding their own business, I recognize a familiarity.

These are the same mean girls I couldn't stand in middle school. They're the same entitled prissy white women who lived on my dorm floor in college (and got the nice black custodian reassigned just because... yeah, we recognized that you were a stuck-up racist way back then).

They're the same pushy bleach-blonde moms who complained endlessly about the teachers at our kids' schools - and always signed up to be a chaperone on the band trips because it fed their Little Hitler complexes. Guess what. My kids couldn't stand you either. The band director couldn't stand you, the principal couldn't stand you, and the rest of us parents tolerated you just to be polite.

And you're the woman I tried to be friends with in my neighborhood when our kids were toddlers because my son liked your son, but the way you whispered "black people" and referred to "those people" meant that it was always going to be impossible for us to be friends.

I didn't realize that you were walking through life harassing black people - although the incident with the custodian in college should have been a big clue - but now that I know, I'm not surprised.

And I recognize that it's up to me and every other white person to start calling you out on your racism. I regret not having done more in the past. The time for polite assumptions of good will is over. Now I see what you do when you think the country club set isn't watching you.

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Arrow 80 replies Author Time Post
Reply We can't stand them either. (Original post)
yardwork Jul 2020 OP
Ohiogal Jul 2020 #1
yardwork Jul 2020 #2
MontanaMama Jul 2020 #3
yardwork Jul 2020 #4
The Velveteen Ocelot Jul 2020 #5
yardwork Jul 2020 #7
volstork Jul 2020 #49
tavernier Jul 2020 #72
hlthe2b Jul 2020 #6
yardwork Jul 2020 #8
SWBTATTReg Jul 2020 #9
yardwork Jul 2020 #20
luvs2sing Jul 2020 #10
yardwork Jul 2020 #21
luvs2sing Jul 2020 #27
yardwork Jul 2020 #28
luvs2sing Jul 2020 #38
yardwork Jul 2020 #41
volstork Jul 2020 #50
brush Jul 2020 #59
wnylib Jul 2020 #75
txwhitedove Jul 2020 #76
pnwest Jul 2020 #11
yardwork Jul 2020 #35
ms liberty Jul 2020 #12
yardwork Jul 2020 #34
UpInArms Jul 2020 #13
yardwork Jul 2020 #22
volstork Jul 2020 #51
dalton99a Jul 2020 #23
luvtheGWN Jul 2020 #74
PatrickforO Jul 2020 #14
yardwork Jul 2020 #30
NoMoreRepugs Jul 2020 #15
yardwork Jul 2020 #24
DENVERPOPS Jul 2020 #16
yardwork Jul 2020 #25
RainCaster Jul 2020 #17
yardwork Jul 2020 #33
ThoughtCriminal Jul 2020 #18
yardwork Jul 2020 #26
Mopar151 Jul 2020 #70
kimbutgar Jul 2020 #19
yardwork Jul 2020 #32
morillon Jul 2020 #29
yardwork Jul 2020 #31
Iggo Jul 2020 #37
yardwork Jul 2020 #40
Iggo Jul 2020 #43
qwlauren35 Jul 2020 #60
Iggo Jul 2020 #64
qwlauren35 Jul 2020 #68
dalton99a Jul 2020 #36
yardwork Jul 2020 #39
dalton99a Jul 2020 #48
calimary Jul 2020 #42
yardwork Jul 2020 #44
ProfessorGAC Jul 2020 #45
yardwork Jul 2020 #46
EveDibb Jul 2020 #47
volstork Jul 2020 #53
EveDibb Jul 2020 #57
RussellCattle Jul 2020 #52
plimsoll Jul 2020 #54
lunatica Jul 2020 #55
AllaN01Bear Jul 2020 #56
Peacetrain Jul 2020 #58
demmiblue Jul 2020 #61
TNNurse Jul 2020 #62
yardwork Jul 2020 #66
TNNurse Jul 2020 #67
morillon Jul 2020 #63
onecaliberal Jul 2020 #65
yardwork Jul 2020 #80
brer cat Jul 2020 #69
yardwork Jul 2020 #79
Upthevibe Jul 2020 #71
yardwork Jul 2020 #78
StarfishSaver Jul 2020 #73
yardwork Jul 2020 #77

Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 10:53 AM

1. I can't agree with this more.

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Response to Ohiogal (Reply #1)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 10:53 AM

2. Thank you!

I'm from Ohio originally!

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 10:58 AM

3. Kick.

True story.

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Response to MontanaMama (Reply #3)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:00 AM

4. Thanks. Every word is true.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:02 AM

5. Same people who make life hell in neighborhoods with a HOA.

Bossy, entitled, officious people (and they aren't all Karens; some are Brads) who feel the need, and think they have the right, to police everybody else's behavior all the time, whether it harms them or anyone else. They demand to see the manager, they want to know if you have a permit, they complain to the city about your (legal) landscaping, they're the asshole waving the rule book in every volunteer organization, PTA, church group, or neighborhood association. They're Frank Burns. They've been around forever. And when they turn racist they're a genuine menace. We can only hope that the ubiquity of cell phone cameras and the likelihood that their assholery will be blasted all over the internet might cause at least some of them to think twice about their behavior.

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #5)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:05 AM

7. They're Frank Burns! So true.

But now we know that they're literally trying to get black people killed.

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #5)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:41 PM

49. "Frank Burns" is a perfect reference!

They are always the one who are absolute sticklers for the rules for everyone else, but are just fine with bending or even breaking rules that might apply to themselves.

They are hateful, petty, small, and puerile. They are also miserable.

Unfortunately, they take their misery out on others, and that's when they become dangerous.

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #5)

Mon Jul 13, 2020, 07:45 AM

72. My grandson Brad just said

ocelots are all racists. Wanted me to pass that on to you.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:05 AM

6. Yes.. and those "mean girls" cut their eye teeth tormenting other (typically)white girls early on...

and used to congregate at shopping malls where they would ridicule old people, "fat" people, disabled people, poor people, supposedly unattractive people--before "graduating" to full-blown racist tirades... For while their blatant racism is what has brought their ugly behavior to the attention of the public, it is only the culmination of atrocious attitudes and self-entitled behavior.


Most of us know them and were forced to deal with them; are unsurprised, but appalled at them. May their karma finally come home to roost.

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Response to hlthe2b (Reply #6)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:06 AM

8. The behavior of cowards, now being exposed on cell phones.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:12 AM

9. Well said, yardwork. You nailed the description of these ...

repulsive people to a 'T'.

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Response to SWBTATTReg (Reply #9)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:05 PM

20. Thank you!

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:14 AM

10. You're the woman my mother kicked out of the house..

for asking why on earth she let her daughter (me) play with those hillbilly kids and those half-breed (Japanese-American) kids.

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Response to luvs2sing (Reply #10)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:05 PM

21. Good for your mom!

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Response to yardwork (Reply #21)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:09 PM

27. Very much ahead of her time.

This was in 1966.

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Response to luvs2sing (Reply #27)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:10 PM

28. To throw the woman out - that was brave.

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Response to yardwork (Reply #28)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:17 PM

38. It was crazy.

I was nine years old, sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch. I knew the Karen down the street was in the living room with Mom when I hear her say, “Don’t you EVER talk that way about those children again! You get the hell out of here NOW.” She later told me what happened. My mom..little bitty quiet woman who usually had zero fucks to give.

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Response to luvs2sing (Reply #38)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:21 PM

41. Wow! Your mom was a hero.

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Response to luvs2sing (Reply #38)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:42 PM

50. It's the little bitty quiet ones

who usually DO have zero fucks to give.

Good for your mom!

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Response to luvs2sing (Reply #38)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 01:05 PM

59. What a great mom you were blessed with. And thanks for sharing.

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Response to luvs2sing (Reply #38)

Mon Jul 13, 2020, 09:17 AM

75. In my case, it was my father who kicked

out a Chad, not a Karen. The Chad was his sister's son. Cousin Chad was 20. I was 10. He had stopped by to ask my father for a job reference. There was a recession at the time and he started using stereotyped slurs about Jews and the economy to blame them for being out of work. My father got very still, and I thought "uh-oh."

Very softly dad said, "We don't talk like that here. Is that what you think of Anna?" She was the Jewish woman that my widower grandfather was dating.. Cousin Chad was slow on the uptake. He said, "No, but come on, Uncle Lib. You know it's true about most of the (slur)." Dad said "We don't use that language here and how dare you expose my children to it? You know where the door is. Don't come back until you have an attitude change."

Poof! "And forget the reference. I wouldn't attach my name to your mouth."

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Response to luvs2sing (Reply #10)

Mon Jul 13, 2020, 09:48 AM

76. Sadly, my granny was the woman. After my summer day at the local pool, she snapped

"You look like a damn little Mexican!". At age 9, I thought hmm she doesn't curse and what's wrong with looking like a Mexican. It was her house and she raised me. I got stories, but just know as much fun as granny was, she failed to make me a proper lady or to be racist.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:17 AM

11. Pretty insightful. Applying that filter

to the “mean girls” (and boys) I went to school with...yup, that’s them! The entitled bratty rich kid clique. Jocks and cheerleaders, there was also the “horsey girls” bunch, and the parents who bought their ugly, talentless kids the lead in the school plays and musicals, and first chair in band.

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Response to pnwest (Reply #11)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:14 PM

35. The Brett Kavanaughs.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:17 AM

12. Yes, this is exactly who they are. n/t

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Response to ms liberty (Reply #12)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:14 PM

34. Thank you.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:19 AM

13. I enjoy giving racists a personal in your face shut-up-ing

and have been doing so for many years ...

it doesn’t matter where ...

Anytime I hear that crap, I stand up ... get in that person’s zone and ask them for their birth application... that blank look follows ... my next question is ...

Just tell me where you signed up to get to be white ...

Generally, much spluttering and stuttering... and then ...

Silence

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Response to UpInArms (Reply #13)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:08 PM

22. I realize that I need to do more.

The entire racist structure needs to be dismantled. It's not enough to simply call them out. I want to redistribute their wealth.

A quarter of the children in the United States now live in poverty. Many of them are children of color. The entire structure needs to be replaced.

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Response to yardwork (Reply #22)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:44 PM

51. Amen!

Thank you for a wonderful thread!

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Response to UpInArms (Reply #13)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:08 PM

23. +1

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Response to UpInArms (Reply #13)

Mon Jul 13, 2020, 08:45 AM

74. YES!!!

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:42 AM

14. Yeah, plenty of snotty people, and racism fits right into snobbery.

It is up to all of us to challenge it when we see it.

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Response to PatrickforO (Reply #14)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:11 PM

30. And to dismantle the unfair systems and institutions that perpetuate this.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:46 AM

15. Civility is a thing of the past. You want a better future

for your kids and grandchildren? Recognize this is a fuckin’ war and only one side can win.

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Response to NoMoreRepugs (Reply #15)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:08 PM

24. This is war. It is!

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:46 AM

16. Perfect. Very well said.

I loathe the female and male species of this ilk.........

Some of the commentary replies are great also!!!!!!!!!!!

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Response to DENVERPOPS (Reply #16)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:08 PM

25. I love all the replies!

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:46 AM

17. I have a huge amount of that in my community- just replace "black" with "native"

Same shit, different tune

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Response to RainCaster (Reply #17)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:13 PM

33. They're everywhere. Time to call them out.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 11:54 AM

18. The "Common Scold"

That annoying disease that seems to be so infectious for those who have a life of privilege. Less common for others because this behaviour would get you fired or killed.

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Response to ThoughtCriminal (Reply #18)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:09 PM

26. Exactly. Throwing their privilege around.

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Response to ThoughtCriminal (Reply #18)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 08:24 PM

70. With you on that!

It's their (really f'n dumb) assumption that the "authourities" have a primary obligation to protect THEM. They grow up as Mommy's Girl, or the Bossy Sister, and they are dead certain that they are RIGHT. They have rarely experienced consequeces in any proportion to the depravity and malice they dispense.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:04 PM

19. Yes I knew them also

They smile in your face then 5 minutes later talking about you in the workplace.

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Response to kimbutgar (Reply #19)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:12 PM

32. Oh yes! The workplace.

Goddess knows what kind of damage they're causing to people's lives.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)


Response to morillon (Reply #29)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:12 PM

31. + millions of us. Stand up.

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Response to morillon (Reply #29)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:17 PM

37. I've been in those rooms.

I'm half-white and I look white.

I think there's a dent from how many times I've had to bite my tongue. Not all the time, but definitely over half.

Sometimes it's better to just observe and report.

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Response to Iggo (Reply #37)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:19 PM

40. The best revenge is to dismantle the system that gives them power.

I seriously want to redistribute their wealth.

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Response to yardwork (Reply #40)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:24 PM

43. Fuckin' A.

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Response to Iggo (Reply #37)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 01:22 PM

60. I feel you.

I bit my tongue ONCE. Never have I felt so ill in what was thought to be all white space.

Keep in mind that in looking white, you have tremendous power to stick up for others, without revealing your heritage if that's what you want to do. When YOU say "I don't want to hear it", white people have to think twice about what they say around other white people. And that is a challenge for them.

I have chosen to reveal my heritage at EVERY opportunity. I don't like anyone thinking that I'm white and therefore thinking they are in 100% white space, and going bat-shit racist because they think it's safe. I just don't want to hear it - stay in the closet.

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Response to qwlauren35 (Reply #60)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 01:41 PM

64. I say something where it'll make a difference.

Sometimes it's a snide remark on the way out the door. ("I'm not as white as you think i am." *Wink*)

Sometimes it's later, when I've got the attention of a mixed group of kids. ("Gather 'round and let me tell you what came up at the recent imptomptu white-guy meeting." )

Irredeemable racists are irredeemable, and I'm not gonna butt my head against that wall anymore. Unless there's an audience.

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Response to Iggo (Reply #64)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 04:11 PM

68. Everybody makes their own choices.

I respect yours. Butting your head hurts. Teachable moments may be elsewhere.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:16 PM

36. Manipulative, conniving, vicious, malevolent

I have more respect for toothless hillbillies

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Response to dalton99a (Reply #36)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:18 PM

39. They have the whole system behind them and they know it.

They KNOW what happens when a white woman calls the police on a black man. That's why they do it. They can pretend to be all sweetie-pie, but they're causing violence.

They bring death.

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Response to yardwork (Reply #39)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:38 PM

48. That is the worst part. They know everything is historically, systematically, reflexively stacked in

their favor. It is truly vile and insidious.


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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:21 PM

42. Happily making the rest of us look bad.

Being utterly oblivious and willfully blind must have its benefits somewhere, I guess...

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Response to calimary (Reply #42)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:26 PM

44. They have a whole system of institutional racism to defend.

This behavior isn't random. It's calculated.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:27 PM

45. Excellent! (nt)

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Response to ProfessorGAC (Reply #45)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:28 PM

46. Thank you.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:32 PM

47. Call them out!

I grew up in the South and I started calling out people when I was 17. Let's just say I'm now older than 17. When they would use the n-word I'd put my finger in their face and say don't use that word around me. Made them think twice before they said it again.

I live in Ohio now and since everybody thinks Southerners are racist I'm getting a sign and I'm putting it in my front yard that says I didn't leave the South to be surrounded by a racist Yankees.

And if I hear our statues one more time when that is my heritage and there was a statue removed in my hometown I am going to lose it.

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Response to EveDibb (Reply #47)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:48 PM

53. Welcome to DU, Eve!

I'm from the South, too, and stand with you!

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Response to volstork (Reply #53)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 01:00 PM

57. Thank you for the welcome

I'm glad some people still believe you can make people aware but because of my history of seeing the Klan march through my downtown and having a klan member tell me yes you should kill black babies my strategy has always been to marginalize them. Logic will not work.

When Trump was elected my son told me Mom you'll be okay. I was in a restaurant I burst out in tears and I said I'm not worried about me I'm worried about the black people who were in the restaurant and when Heather Heyer was killed I looked him in the face and said I told you.

Taking a racist on one on one very feasible what's dangerous is when you embolden them.

Time for them to run back where the sun don't shine.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:47 PM

52. Perfect. Great post. We need to be "anti-racist" and this raises consciousness.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:49 PM

54. Your boyfriend and now husband tormented the "nerds"

Because he knew that even if he had no actual skills his family connections would insure a smooth transition onto mahogany row.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:57 PM

55. They used to whisper sideways with their hands shielding their mouths

Unfortunately the likes of Sara Palin and then Trump threw the doors wide open as an invitation for them to out themselves and openly brag and threaten about what they had only whispered about before.

They won’t change, but if we shame them they’ll slink back into their hides holes and shut up. They’re cowards and they need to be shunned by all decent people. There are more decent people who go out and march than there are racists.



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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 12:58 PM

56. we also have those types in my apartment complex makeing their own rules

gossiping behind peoples backs . also they are archie bunker types too. and their snide little "jokes " which arnt and they hurt.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 01:04 PM

58. Amen to that!!!!

I know them well myself.. and they look for places to act like complete insane idiots.. they search it out.. they have always been a universal pain in the ass.. and the rest of us spend our entire lives trying to pick up their pieces and apologizing for their idiocy.. the good thing about the moment now.. is the shared anger, they can't try and get our attention as if we share anything with them....

They have no place to run and hide except with the racists they are usually attached to..

Can't we just give them a three or four unpopulated counties.. and put a 20 foot fence around them and let them go to town on each other and leave the rest of us alone.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 01:22 PM

61. K&R

Shite, I (also a white woman) got called out for posting this video:



https://www.democraticunderground.com/100213708207

Thank you for this post.


Edit: except for the school volunteers part... most I have known were solid dems who didn't cause drama... they just wanted to help the students and teachers.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 01:30 PM

62. Dear Yardwork (great name by the way)

May I copy and post this on FB? I will admit that I did not write it.

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Response to TNNurse (Reply #62)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 02:11 PM

66. I would be honored! Please don't reference my name or DU, though.

I try to stay anonymous on the internet and so I don't even cross post on different media. So no attribution necessary, but you are welcome to share.

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Response to yardwork (Reply #66)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 02:19 PM

67. Do not fear, I will honor your privacy.

I told a story on here once and used my real name. I was cautioned by some on here, but I left it.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)


Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 01:54 PM

65. Hear, hear. As a white woman it's important for me to call them out. Especially since

The way I look could mistakenly identify me as one of them.

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Response to onecaliberal (Reply #65)

Mon Jul 13, 2020, 11:36 AM

80. Yes, it's up to each of us to stand up to this.

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 05:28 PM

69. Great OP!

You nailed them beautifully.

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Response to brer cat (Reply #69)

Mon Jul 13, 2020, 11:35 AM

79. Appreciate that!

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 10:00 PM

71. yardwork.....Perfectly stated...n/t

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Response to Upthevibe (Reply #71)

Mon Jul 13, 2020, 11:35 AM

78. Thanks!

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Response to yardwork (Original post)

Mon Jul 13, 2020, 07:49 AM

73. Brava!

Great post.

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Response to StarfishSaver (Reply #73)

Mon Jul 13, 2020, 11:34 AM

77. Thank you!

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