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Sat Aug 1, 2020, 01:16 PM

I went to a graveside service today

Old family friend. Good friend of my husband. He died from lung cancer, had been in hospice for several months, at his son's house. The service was up the river from Marietta, Oh, very rural. The cemetery is off the main road, and had a stunning view of the Ohio River. It looks like a peaceful place for your final rest.

I showered before I went, wore a mask, socially distanced from the other mourners, but 2 of the family members hugged me. Probably 25% of the mourners wore masks, and most of the masked people observed social distancing. I heard several people who still work talking about workplace rules-one woman said that if an employee gets Covid-19, the employee has to prove they got it at work (I imagine to get benefits) A man said if you go on vacation to a hot spot, you have to isolate for a week when you get home. I was 6-10 feet away, so I only heard snatches. Larry was a veteran, so the Honor Guard was there and gave a 21 gun salute, and presented the flag to the family. They wore masks.

My husband passed about 3 1/2 years ago, and had an Honor Guard. The men who participate are all quite elderly. I hope that younger veterans will feel like taking up the torch. The Honor ceremony is moving and the men who participate have made me understand the loss of a comrade in arms.

I drove up Ohio Route 7, Marietta to New Matamoras. Most of the little restaurants, bars, and other small restaurants are shuttered. I have lived in this part of Ohio, and it looks like the economy is as bad now as it was in the 1960's and early 70's. And yet, I saw many trump banners flying. I flipped off each one as I passed. My husband and Larry were Democrats and union men. I'm sure they appreciated my gestures.

I came home, and did my decontamination routine. I will isolate until Wed. or Fri. when I have to go watch my grand kids. My daughter and her husband still have to go to work, and I am only allowed in one part of their house. Haven't hugged my grand kids since Mother's Day.

I thought it would be okay to go, because it was outside. I hope so.

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Arrow 26 replies Author Time Post
Reply I went to a graveside service today (Original post)
Marthe48 Aug 1 OP
secondwind Aug 1 #1
onecaliberal Aug 1 #2
Zoonart Aug 1 #4
MoonRiver Aug 1 #7
luvs2sing Aug 1 #3
Marthe48 Aug 1 #17
marybourg Aug 1 #5
LeftInTX Aug 1 #6
MoonRiver Aug 1 #8
SWBTATTReg Aug 1 #9
Marthe48 Aug 1 #16
SWBTATTReg Aug 2 #21
Marthe48 Aug 2 #22
jimfields33 Aug 1 #10
Marthe48 Aug 1 #14
Stuart G Aug 1 #11
Marthe48 Aug 1 #15
BannonsLiver Aug 1 #12
Marthe48 Aug 1 #13
BannonsLiver Aug 1 #18
diva77 Aug 1 #20
Marthe48 Aug 2 #23
diva77 Aug 2 #24
Marthe48 Aug 3 #25
diva77 Aug 3 #26
csziggy Aug 1 #19

Response to Marthe48 (Original post)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 01:20 PM

1. That's a tough call.... I'm an old fart, so I take no chances....

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Response to Marthe48 (Original post)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 01:21 PM

2. I'm sorry for your loss.

We havenít hugged our grands since Feb. only yard visits here and there and FaceTime.

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Response to onecaliberal (Reply #2)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 01:26 PM

4. I feel you all.

Haven't seen my grand daughters in person since Christmas.
No even yard visits as they are three states away. Just FaceTime. Thank god for that.

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Response to onecaliberal (Reply #2)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 01:31 PM

7. Same here, and it's so sad.

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Response to Marthe48 (Original post)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 01:23 PM

3. I hope so, too.

My ancestral roots are in that part of Ohio, from Pike County in the west, down through Washington, Morgan, and Noble counties and ending up in Monroe County. I used to love going down there, but not so much anymore which is sad.

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Response to luvs2sing (Reply #3)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 02:55 PM

17. I started out in Cuyahoga County

My parents bought a vacation place in Monroe County. They ended up divorcing and my Mom loved S.E. Ohio so much, my younger brother and I ended up moving here with her. That was 1969. My husband and I lived in Monroe County until 1989, and then moved to Marietta, Washington County. I feel like this place i s my home. I realized when we moved here, i felt like I was at the beach. And then realized I was happy. This is really one of the secret paradises in the U.S.

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Response to Marthe48 (Original post)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 01:28 PM

5. That's the problem with leaving your house-you lose all control.

You were doing fine until two people invaded your space for a hug. It might have been unthinking; weíre used to touching others, but the result is the same. You lost control of your space.

Last night I got together with a neighbor on my small, breezy patio where we could socially distance. Within a half hour 2 neighbors joined us (?!?!) and a third then tried to, but I had to gently (I hope) point out that there was no more room to socially distance. This is not the first time that has happened. Iím going to Facetime with my neighbors from now on.

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Response to Marthe48 (Original post)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 01:30 PM

6. Sorry that family members hugged you

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Response to Marthe48 (Original post)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 01:32 PM

8. Sorry for your loss.

It's still hard for some people to comprehend that things are different now, especially in times of loss. I think you will be fine.

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Response to Marthe48 (Original post)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 01:42 PM

9. One of my thoughts to restore my soul to a more peaceful mode is that soon all will be ...

over with in November, 2020 (and the new Biden administration will be ushered in Jan. 2021). Then of course, it's roll up the sleeves and get down to work mode. We'll have a lot of damage and repair work to do.

Unfortunately in the meantime, more and more people of all stripes will be impacted by the CV and its awful impact (if not already), especially rural communities that have sitting on the sidelines and ignoring CV warnings (IMHO gleefully watching the big cities suffer w/ their CV outbreaks, along with Jared K. and rump too, despicable).

The rump signs will (they are in MO) disappear as more and more people get sick and/or die, from the incompetence that rump displays (as well as republican senators and republican governors) in dealing w/ the CV, when these idiots finally realize that it takes the efforts of all of us to beat the CV epidemic once and for all. A national response, in which rump and cronies are totally incompetent in doing.

So the CV is going to rage even more so, in western and southern states the worse (where they were slack in paying attention to CV alerts, etc.) and thus, they will sadly pay a severe price. Pockets of the CV will rage here and there, and won't really go away until the filth that is rump goes away finally and sanity is restored to the land.

It's horrible that it takes such a horrible thing to truly make people realize just how grossly incompetent rump is and how inhuman he is.

Be safe and careful all.

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Response to SWBTATTReg (Reply #9)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 02:52 PM

16. It was chilling that they chose politics over health

talking about the story that impeached traitor and his demon spawn shelved any plan to control CV because it was hitting blue states.

Do these stupid think that just because a state is colored red or blue on a map means that all the people in the state vote exclusively for one party of the other? At the funeral today, there were many Dems. Unfortunately, many of the younger people there are r's. CV is not about party lines, it is about people getting sick, and dying. I don't have good thoughts about people who thought letting us die for their benefit was okay.

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Response to Marthe48 (Reply #16)

Sun Aug 2, 2020, 11:57 AM

21. What you say is so true. Getting any illness has never been about party lines (except remotely AIDS

and this was more a anti-gay thing than a party thing 30+ years ago, now it's much better). I've always grew up w/ friends, family, etc. of all persuasions (democratic, republican, or independent inclined, didn't matter) who when someone was fighting or fought cancer, and underwent the treatments, chemo, radiation, or both, or no treatments when it was determined sadly that nothing would do any good (several friends and family members w/ me), politics never, ever, entered into the picture.

You're absolutely right in that it never was about blue or red, democratic or republican, etc. when someone was sick. Everyone simply put such unimportant stuff to the side, and gathered together to help each other, comfort each other, etc. in times of need.

Except now w/ rump and Jared. Despicable examples of human beings if you ask me. I won't let scumbags like this attack my humanity and try to take that value away from me. I think you're exactly the same way (and a lot of us on DU), thank god or the powers that be. When did hate and bigotry become such an important criteria of being a republican or being an American?

My blessings to you on your sad occasion (the funeral). I think when Biden wins the WH, and we win the Senate and further increase our margin in the House, we'll have a unity finally that has been missing in this Country as rump and cronies seem to encourage disunity and disarray instead of togetherness (for that's all they know, hate and ignorant rhetoric).

Take care and be safe!

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Response to SWBTATTReg (Reply #21)

Sun Aug 2, 2020, 04:05 PM

22. Well said

Thank you and hope you take care and be safe as well

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Response to Marthe48 (Original post)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 01:55 PM

10. So sorry for the loss of a good friend

Iíd consider waiting the recommended 14 days in quarantine especially after getting those two hugs.

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Response to jimfields33 (Reply #10)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 02:42 PM

14. Thank you

I have been really good about staying home since March 13th.

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Response to Marthe48 (Original post)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 01:55 PM

11. Sorry for your loss.

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Response to Stuart G (Reply #11)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 02:43 PM

15. Thank you

My cousin gave me a sign years ago, says The best antiques are old friends.

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Response to Marthe48 (Original post)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 02:19 PM

12. The hugging should have been avoided but there's a great chance you'll be okay

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Response to Marthe48 (Original post)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 02:39 PM

13. The huggers asked permission

I had already declined sitting in a car with my friend, telling her that my daughter and her husband both go to work. She is on oxygen, had a tank with her. She had a mask, but wasn't wearing it. I also declined the invitation to go to the church and eat. I wiped hand sanitizer across my mask 2 or 3 times, and sanitized my hands and arms when I got in my car. I also took a couple whiffs of the hand sanitizer.
I was worried about going to a crowd, but it was important to me. Not too many of my family and friends left. But as soon as I got home, and showered, I felt much calmer. Part of my decontamination routine includes dabbing my face with 70% alcohol, and then my hands, then washing my hands, and rinsing my mouth with 80 proof vodka, after I get out of the shower. I didn't eat before I went, so today I was buzzed for awhile. What a world

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Response to Marthe48 (Reply #13)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 03:14 PM

18. I think you'll be fine

You took the necessary precautions and stayed outside.

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Response to Marthe48 (Reply #13)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 03:57 PM

20. Please don't inhale the sanitizer. That is not what it is for and you could be endangering

yourself with the toxic fumes.

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Response to diva77 (Reply #20)

Sun Aug 2, 2020, 04:06 PM

23. I was kinda joking

Although I held my hand to my face while I was driving till I got out on the main road

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Response to Marthe48 (Reply #23)

Sun Aug 2, 2020, 08:39 PM

24. if you inhale too much of that stuff you could morph into a rightwing nut job

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Response to diva77 (Reply #24)

Mon Aug 3, 2020, 01:20 PM

25. we would not want that!

lol

My husband's uncle was a staunch Democrat. He fell and got a concussion and I swear to God, he became a wing-nut. It was a terrible change. He passed away on elction day 2012. He early voted, always wondered if his vote counted :/

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Response to Marthe48 (Reply #25)

Mon Aug 3, 2020, 06:40 PM

26. Oh no! So sorry about your husband's uncle. It does seem that certain brain damage is in epic

proportions and a likely cause of rethuglicanism.

Luckily, we can still count you as Dem after a couple of whiffs of sanitizer!

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Response to Marthe48 (Original post)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 03:25 PM

19. The Honor Guard personnel depend on which post provides the people

For both my parents' funerals, both veterans, the Honor Guard members were all young, supplied by a location in Tampa. For my Mom, there were two women in the Honor Guard, which made me happy. She would have liked that.

Back in June I attended the memorial for a friend. She was buried at a National Cemetery (her husband is a veteran) and since only ten people were allowed at the graveside, I didn't attend. Most of the mourners had masks and even though there were not many of us, we spread out and "filled" the chapel.

Condolences on your loss.

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