Transcript of secretly recorded conversation between Mitt Romney and Jesus Christ:

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Jesus: Blessed are the poor in spirit, the meek, the persecuted for they shall inherit the earth.
Romney: The 47% who are dependent...who believe that they are victims...
Jesus: Blessed are they who hunger and thirst...
Romney: ...victims who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you name it.
Jesus: Bring them hither to me (he divides five loaves and two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves...to the multitude. And they did all eat, and were filled...).
Romney: That's socialism.
Jesus: When you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed...
Romney: My job is not to worry about those people—I'll never convince them that they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.
Jesus: Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.
Romney: I’m not concerned about the very poor... You can focus on the very poor. That’s not my focus.
Jesus: Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works...
Romney: Frankly, I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth which is the greatest gift you could have...
Jesus: If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.
Romney: You are attacking free enterprise...
Jesus: You loot companies, leave behind broken families, broken towns, people on unemployment...you see a distressed company and then swoop in and pick the carcass clean and then fly away (I am quoting your own Republican brethren here)... And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
Romney: You are taking things out of context...
Jesus: Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing (ancient Aramaic for "magic underwear&quot , but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

[Generic Other]

1. I think I will try my hand at filming this imaginary exchange

I wonder what images I should include. Any suggestions from the choir?


This for sure...

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2. Another photo I should include

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3. Jesus feeds the multitude

Socialism!

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4. Romney's 50,000 a plate dinner

Oh wait. This is Romney explaining to vets how much he cares.

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5. who believe they are entitled...

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7. Romney's Tax Heaven

?w=600&h=400&crop=1

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26. Where Mitt banks

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27. Where Americans whose jobs have been outsourced by Mitt and his vulture capitalists bank

[PowerToThePeople]

22. wow, just wow

[a la izquierda]

34. Sick and sad...

My heart is breaking at that image

[hifiguy]

6. A colloquium - JC and Willard

Last edited Thu Sep 20, 2012, 04:50 PM - Edit history (1)

Jesus (whacks Mitt in the head): Just what is your major malfunction, Romney? So help me Dad you are dumber than a fucking fern. I hung out with the 47%. I was one of them, for Dad's sake.

MR: Aren't I doing your work?

JC: Did you ever read those books they wrote about Me? Particularly the parts where I talked about charity, brotherhood and My dislike of moneychangers and materialists? Holy Me! No, that's right, you read the book written by the convicted flim-flam man from New York who wanted a harem of groupies. Gullible, aren't you? When Dad wanted people to have harems of groupies, He created the Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin.

MR: But it's the truth, he said so! So did Brigham Young!

JC (whacks MR again): Look at Me for a minute. I was an Iron Age Jew on Earth. You imagine there were people who looked like Me running around Missouri and New York? You don't think the Natives would have remembered a Jew there and passed it down in their oral tradition? Just how stupid ARE you? And when the eff did I ever say anything about magic underwear? You keep reminding Me just why I threw the people like you out of the Temple. Now get out of My sight you gormless twit. (poofs RM back to Earth complete with mule ears).

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8. Iron Age Jew

Close enough!

[Panasonic]

35. Gormless twit?

The twit is bereft of gorm?

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38. Holy Me!

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9. Let the little children come to me

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10. souplines

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11. school lunch program

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12. Homeless in America

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13. The safety net

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14. God Bless America where Romney could be born with a silver spoon in his mouth

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15. Romney hoards three month supply of food for his family in a secret bunker

then prays for the endtimes when he thinks Jesus is gonna return to pat him on the back and say "Good job, Brownie."

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32. People who Mitt has insulted

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16. Romney's saints

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17. jESUS SAVES sEAMUS

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19. Jesus reacts to Clint Eastwood's speech...

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21. NRA Jesus

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23. Jesus demands picture ID before sharing communion

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30. Jesus comes home to a house with no car elevator

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31. Jesus tells his wife that one Cadillac is enough

[onethatcares]

18. G O. you are very insightful

thanks for the entire post.

May I borrow the 30 Billion would eradicate hunger photo and make copies?

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20. WWJD?

"He that has two coats, let him impart to him that has none; and he that has food, let him do likewise."

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24. Willard's response

"I think you’ll find that conservatives are more generous philanthropically than people who are not conservatives."

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25. Jesus throws Mitt out of the temple

Mitt and the other moneylenders and vulture capitalists are ejected from the temple.

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28. Jesus has one more surprise for Mitt

[M_M]

29. Rec

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33. Obama weighs in

[iemitsu]

36. mittens, god of his own planet.

[Generic Other]

37. hahaha!

very nice Mitsi!