The Opposite of Autism

[Nevilledog]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/human-interest/202007/the-opposite-autism

The first time I met Eli, in the late winter of 2011, he was waiting for me at his front door. Gayle had told him to expect a visitor: a writer who wanted to observe him “in his natural habitat,” as Gayle put it. She always waited to deliver exciting news like this—a guest!—until the last possible moment, so the anticipation wouldn’t overwhelm him. Still, Eli had been restlessly awaiting my arrival for the two hours since he’d gotten home from school.

At first, all I saw were pudgy fingers wrapped around the door, which was open just a crack. I heard Gayle’s command: “Do not go out there, Eli.” An eyeball appeared in the crack between the door and its frame. It bulged wide when it saw me. Then the baby-faced boy, who had just turned twelve, flung the door open. He rubbed his palms together, beaming as if he were about to open a Christmas present. Then he waved frantically, as if I might not have noticed him and might simply turn and walk away. “Hi, Kenny!” he bellowed into the snowy parking lot of his apartment complex.

Eli spoke with exclamation points: earnestly and emphatically. His voice was deep and loud—a man’s booming baritone—but cheerful and childishly nasal.

I heard Gayle’s voice again, in a stage whisper: “Her name’s Jennie.” He corrected himself without pausing, without embarrassment. His smile never faded. “Hi, Jennie!”

*snip*

[dawg]

1. Interesting article, but I find it a little insensitive to describe this condition as ...

the "opposite" of autism.

Autistic people can be some of the most trusting, loving people in the world. They just aren't demonstrative about it in the ways that neurotypical people expect.

[Sunsky]

3. Thanks

I totally agree with your post, as a mom to a wonderful autistic son who loves to give and receive hugs, rub your feet but also isolate himself.

[kcr]

6. Yep. Insensitive and inaccurate.

[RainCaster]

2. What an interesting story

Thanks for sharing

[Hortensis]

4. Huh. Wonder if we briefly met a "Williams" child.

Or perhaps just Williams-lite, traits of, if there is such a thing.

He wasn't intellectually limited and shared an interest in science with our son of the same age, so his mother, a coworker, and I thought they might like to attend some summer science workshops together. Not a chance. Yes, his exuberant niceness and friendliness were noticeably not in normal range, but they were sincere, as was his interest in science. Didn't matter. Our son, himself a nice boy, was probably more repelled than if the kid had been hostile and rejecting. Interesting to observe and wonder about, though.

Thinking of how "normal" people might seem to them, I hope it works for them and their parents to get them together, on social media if nothing else possible.

[ck4829]

5. "inherently loving, trusting, and outgoing". Sorry, a world like that would be a saccharine dystopia

Love, not the love in a family, but romantic and platonic love should be earned. Nobody should be entitled to it. It shouldn't be normal to just dole that love out as a norm. It shouldn't be the default in entering into a relationship.

There were potential relationships and deals I entered into and had red flags and left them, I'm glad I did, I look back or dug up what happened and found out they wouldn't have worked.

I've worked hard for people to trust me, and it means something when people trust me. I earned that.

I think there are a lot of benefits to living in a world where love and trust are achieved and we've moved away a lot from qualities where they were ascribed rather than achieved. I am happy to not live in a world where we are told to "just love and trust someone" because they are rich, other demographics or they are the head of state.

Now you shouldn't NOT have a minimum amount of love and trust for your fellow human, certainly not. But to live in a world where it's the norm, where you're supposed to have a smile on your face, where intimacy is seen as something you just give out; it would not be a genuinely happy society.