Screening junk calls - answer, count to 5 slowly before you say "hello".

[Klaralven]

There will be no announcement or person connected, and the call will disconnect after about 10-15 more seconds.

I just press the speakerphone button, wait, say hello and go about my day. Stops the phone from ringing and the voice mail from picking up.

[jcgoldie]

1. Oh man but then...

...how will I know when the warranty has run out on my vehicle or there's a problem with my Microsoft windows and I need to login and allow someone to access it remotely from India...

[ProfessorGAC]

4. Or My Apple Account!

When everything we have is Android!
It just goes on & on, doesn't it?

[jcgoldie]

6. Yes and...

Not to mention my STUDENT LOANS that I thought I paid off 20 years ago... thank god someone lets me know a couple times a week where to send more money!

[ProfessorGAC]

8. I Got One Of Those, Too!

I had forgotten. I never had any student loans!
Not only did I need no help in paying them off, but they were offering help for something they never existed!
Kind of obvious it wasn't on the up & up.

[Silver1]

12. And the IRS!

I apparently owe the IRS a fortune and will be charged with fraud and arrested any minute now unless I wire the money I owe then and there!

[Leith]

2. My method is different

If it's not a known number, I don't answer it.

Then, after a minute or 2, I check voicemail. On those few occasions that the caller leaves a message, it's either in Chinese or an ad about carpet cleaning.

I haven't missed a real call in years.

[grumpyduck]

3. Yeah, that's what I do.

[Ms. Toad]

16. Unfortuantely, some of us don't have that luxury.

As part of my job, I have to answer student calls when I don't know their numbers and, since we have international students, I even have to answer them when they come from another country (South Korea, just a couple of days ago).

[gratuitous]

5. I have one of these next to the phone

There's a handy phrase for every one of these assholes:

https://www.lewisblack.com/collections/other-goodies/products/lewis-black-bobblehead-2018

[Silver1]

13. "My socks are dirty."

That's what my husband likes to say when they call. Then he hangs up ... satisfied!

[Brother Buzz]

15. I've used an Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboard in the past

if you get really familiar with one, you can find some very intimidating lines that are universally applicably

Admittedly, that Lewis Black thingy looks attractive for its simplicity.

[csziggy]

7. I let it ring three times, then might listen while the answering machine picks up

Usually they disconnect or sometimes I get the middle of a message since the robocall message started as soon as the answer machine says "hello."

I'm thinking of changing the generic message on the answer machine to something like: "Hello, you have reached csziggy. If this is a legitimate call, please leave a message. If no message is left, your number will be added to our block list and you will never be able to call me again!"

[lark]

9. I hate answering the phone but hubby thinks I'm missing out on survey opportunities.

So now, I answer, say hello and wait 3 seconds. If no one responds, I hang up. Funny, I end up hanging up probably 90% of the time, assholes are too stupid to know how to run dialers correctly. It's an art and they are too lazy to master it.

[Midnightwalk]

10. I used to put my son on

He was old enough to know the game, but sounded young. He would talk a bunch of nonsense for as long as he could. and refuse to put me on. "I don't think he wants to talk to you". He could string them along for minutes. Long time ago.

Maybe someone could make an app that tried to keep them on as long as possible. One second, I need to get a pencil. One second I need to get my social security number. What do you mean that's not valid -- oh those were my power ball numbers.

If AI can drive cars it ought to be able to do this.

Seriously Ive heard it's best not to answer at all, but a "mess with callers" app would be cool.

[roamer65]

11. I let any number I don't know eat voicemail.

[Codeine]

14. Yesterday I learned my salvage title car

has an extended warranty that has nearly run out!

[Klaralven]

17. Years ago, I owned a car briefly before giving it to my daughter. She totaled it a few years later.

That was in North Carolina. Then a few years after that, I got a letter from a junkyard in Alabama asking whether I wanted to reclaim my car and pay the impound fees.

Apparently it had been abandoned and the state police had it towed to this junkyard.

So it's never clear what happens to junked cars (or at least the VIN plate!).

I sent them a nice reply saying I had no ownership interest in the vehicle and to dispose of it locally to best advantage.