Science confirms Pending Doom

[cthulu2016]

Based on our current best scientific understanding it has been determined that every man, woman and child on Earth will be dead in a matter of decades.

This plague of human mortality guarantees the complete and total eradication of the current human population in only a little over a hundred years.

[arthritisR_US]

1. link? n/t

[TrogL]

2. Some proof, facts, figures, diagrams, something would be nice.

[LondonReign2]

6. Read the OP again

[Xyzse]

23. It's when Chtulhu would rise from the depths

And pwn Trogdor the Burninator and the battle would be so epic that it would decimate the human race.

Though yes, I know the current human population will be eradicated in about a hundred years. Some might be able to go beyond it, but I'll give them less than a decade after that.

[bluedigger]

60. Here you go!

Now do you get it?

[HopeHoops]

3. That's my take on it. 2030 is probably our last year before the shit hits the fan.

[slackmaster]

11. Actually the Bandini hits the Westinghouse in 2038. The Unix clock problem will be worse than Y2K.

[HopeHoops]

14. At least Linux solved that. It's 64 bits now. Not an issue. Not sure about proprietary versions.

[ieoeja]

39. If it is infintely worse than Y2K then it will be zero of a problem. n/t

[Ship of Fools]

44. That's ok--that's roughly the date of my own personal demise, anyway...

either by natural causes or a good bottle of wine and some cheap pills.
Don't care to watch it all go to hell, particularly when it comes to all
of the planet's other critters we'll be taking with us.

As they sang it, "...hope I die before I get old..."

[HopeHoops]

45. Offspring? That's all I care about. To hell with what happens to me.

[Ship of Fools]

64. Totally agree...

it's just that I don't have much love for the human race these days--not
that I would want anyone to suffer, of course! I'm just sorrier for the rest
of the animal kingdom. No rugrats of my own, thank degawds.

[HopeHoops]

68. We'll probably wipe out the vast majority of surface life, however,...

... I suspect the building blocks that led to us in the first place will find some replacement with time - and THEY can destroy the earth all over again!

[bluedigger]

58. Why "cheap" pills?

Go for the good stuff! You planning on taking it with you?

[Ship of Fools]

63. actually, I intend to spend every last penny I have

on the most expensive bottle of wine I can get! The pills, well...

[slackmaster]

4. I guarantee AT LEAST SEVEN BILLION DEAD in the next century!

[NWmomma]

5. the key word is

current...this is sarcasm

[Agnosticsherbet]

7. So what are your credentials?

or a link to someone with credentials.

[slackmaster]

12. Cthulhu Fight!

[Agnosticsherbet]

25. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

I don't argue with transcosmic sleeping gods.

[Drale]

8. While we are screwing with our climate

I think that science is discounting how determined humanity is to survive. Human have survived in some of the most inhospitable areas on earth for hundreds of years. We are like cockroaches, humanity will always survive in some form or another.

[porphyrian]

9. OK, then, everyone give the best solutions. Go. n/t

[bluedigger]

31. Procreate like humanity's future depends on it.

[lastlib]

56. okay, but if I have any kids as a result, I don't want to know about it!!

[bluedigger]

57. Having kids is part and parcel of procreation.

Otherwise, I could have said "fuck". As for the not knowing part of it, that depends on your gender and, I suppose, self-awareness.

[mgc1961]

10. "Plague of human mortality"

[slackmaster]

13. One of my college roommates went on to get a PhD in Epidemiology.

He told me that science has determined that the probability of death during a human lifetime is 1.

[4th law of robotics]

30. I won't believe it without a +/- value.

[lastlib]

54. Does this poll have a margin of error???

I'm looking for a loophole here........

[slackmaster]

61. Let's just say the probability of death "approaches 1"

That should leave enough of a loophole for you to retain a smidgen of optimism.

[MoonRiver]

15. Bring on the cure!

How about a race?

[loyalsister]

42. + 1

[randome]

16. So everyone now living will be dead in 100 years or less.

Got ya.

However, I no longer think that's a given.

[BumRushDaShow]

17. This is definitely true unless

you try this - http://news.discovery.com/tech/fountain-of-youth-120418.html

[Hassin Bin Sober]

53. This guy doesn't think so:

[MatthewStLouis]

18. Yes, the entire "current" human population will be dead in 100 years or so.

And generations of their offspring will still be around, toiling away...

[Curtland1015]

19. Pffft... science. What has science ever done for anyone?

NOTHING!

[Arugula Latte]

24. The aqueduct?

[Curtland1015]

38. Okay, but besides the aqueduct, roads, sanitation...

[LondonReign2]

26. Ranch flavored Corn Nuts?

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

41. Bubble wrap? Pepsi? Nostril hair clippers? Bunny slippers? Slinkies?

[cthulu2016]

46. Okay... yeah. Bunnie Slippers

[longship]

55. DUzy!!

Too bad the DUzys are gone. Certainly worthy, my friend.

My favorite: nostril hair clippers to take care of humanities horror, nostril hair!!!!

But bunny slippers take care of that nostril hair, or so I've heard.

[Avalux]

20. Then we'd better hope the aliens show up to save those of us who care. n/t

[hifiguy]

21. We're Dooooooomed!

[Junkdrawer]

22. Since this is ridiculous, we're free to ignore Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming....

Whew! For a while there, I thought WE (instead of our grandkids) would have to make significant sacrifices.

[Speck Tater]

27. In other words, in 150 years, everyone alive today will be dead?

OMG! That's horrifying!

We Buddhists call that "anicca". http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma8/imperm.html
And we've known about it for centuries!

ON EDIT: What I find truly horrifying is that so many responders to the OP don't even understand what the OP said! That's just frightening.

[4th law of robotics]

28. Ah but where's your control group?

[renie408]

29. This ALMOST got me.

Then I reread it.

[Lasher]

32. That's what the Mastadon said.

[Javaman]

34. I can go one better...

I predict that everyone currently over the age of 30 will be dead before the end of this century!!!

Run for the hills!!!!

[bongbong]

35. Not if the singularity occurs

Why do you think Kurzweil pops 80 vitamins a day?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=228x3370

[Kip Humphrey]

36. WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!

No, really. We are all going to die.

[Alduin]

37. Hah.

I got it.

[Logical]

40. Science has said this 100s of times. We are still here!

[guardian]

43. vegetables are the cause

nearly every person that eats vegetables will be dead within 100 years

[Chorophyll]

47. The comments on this one are worth the price of admission.

Read carefully, people.

[randome]

48. There can be only one!

[MineralMan]

49. Oh, the Howwow! nt

[MineralMan]

50. Whoosh....

The unmistakable sound of an OP flying over the heads of DUers.

[Posteritatis]

51. Hee. Well-played. (nt)

[scheming daemons]

52. it is amazing how many people read this thread and missed the joke

I weep for our nation.

[MineralMan]

59. Shh....stop that.

You'll spoil all the fun. Keep that on the QT, OK?

[mike_c]

62. well played, sir, well played....

Made me look!

[foo_bar]

65. "Is this some sort of ironic doom?"

http://blog.urbanbohemian.com/2009/04/08/5201/

[LeftyMom]

66. After reading the replies, I'm kind of hoping the end is nigh.

Beam me up, there's no intelligent life down here.

[Marr]

67. lol, no kidding.