BREAKING NEWS: Trump introduces new "Write Your Own Health Care Plan" for all Americans
President Donald Trump--who for nearly all of his term in office has promised to revamp the American health care system but to date has not taken any official action on such promises--announced today a bold initiative that he believes will directly address this issue in advance of next month's election.
"We're calling it the 'Write Your Own Health Care Plan,'" a White House official stated when asked for specifics. "Essentially, what we are doing is providing each and every American with a 1,000 page leather bound book of blank paper. And we encourage everyone who receives this book to really let their imagination run lose. Talk about in detail how they best would like to cover prescription drug prices and coverage of pre-existing conditions. For there is nothing in your own mind that you can't think of to solve all of our nation's most critical healthcare needs."
When asked whether the President will actually take any ideas submitted by citizens into consideration, the White House remained somewhat evasive.
"Really, this is more for you than it is for us," the official said. "Consider it a practical writing exercise for your own benefit."
However, the official warned that if citizens did wish to submit their proposals to the White House, they would be responsible for all postage and all submissions would first go through a customized mail screening process specifically devised by US Postmaster General Louis DeJoy.
The White House pointed out that citizens were free to keep the large blank books of paper and if they were unable to come up with any good proposals on their own, they could use the books for other purposes.
"It would work as a great sketchpad, for example," the official pointed out. "Also it is perfect for grocery lists. Or scrap paper for your kid's algebra homework. Plus origami! Origami is always so much fun! The bottom line is, go to town!"
During President Trump's interview with Lesly Stahl of CBS's 60 Minutes, Trump and White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany presented Stahl with an advance copy of the book.
After Stahl discovered the book was in fact blank, Trump and McEnany both reportedly shouted, "Sike! No backsies!" and ran giggling from the room, effectively ending the interview.
Details at Eleven.
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