Romney is being armed with set of zingers for the debates.

[charlyvi]

What he cannot be taught, however, is how to deliver them. This strategy could lead to the most painfully awkward moments in an ongoing pageant of awkward moments that is the Romney campaign.

[Botany]

1. Mitty Youngman

"take my advice please" "the doctor told me I had 2 weeks to live ...."

[charlyvi]

2. Heh.....heh....BWAHAHAHA! n/t

[Botany]

8. comedy train wreck warning

Believing that the debates will come down to a few key sound-bites, Romney has been
memorizing and practicing "a series of zingers" that his team has written for him. Romney
has practiced delivering these lines on aides since August.

"so i walked into the campaign doctor's office and he said that the campaign needed some
new life .... and i told him that still like my current wife." Rim shot http://www.myinstants.com/instant/rimshot/

[darkangel218]

3. I had no idea what a zinger was until i joined DU

Woot!

[Ilsa]

4. Zingers to satisfy the simple-minded GOPers that read

Ann Coulter and listen to OxyRush. Got to keep them tuned in with their hatred boiling so they'll make an effort to get the other Romney-apathetic Obama-haters to the polls.

[1-Old-Man]

5. I agree, he doesn't have the performance talents to pull it off, Reagan did, Romeny doesn't

Romney has a spooky speaking style. He makes an exaggerated statement and then he hesitates, looking for audience approval, before doubling down. Its a pattern that he repeats and repeats and it is one that will not hold up on the Debate stage. Its that little bit of hesitation that is gong to kill him if he tries it.

And on the other side of the stage he has a formidable opponent, who can shoot back blinding rebuttals very very forcefully. Romney's toast.

[charlyvi]

16. Zingers require spontaneity.

Mitt has none.

[LiberalEsto]

6. For a moment I thought you said wingers

and pictured him hurling irritable wingnuts at President Obama

[sandyshoes17]

7. I'll bet he messes up the delivery

It can back fire and become a debate blooper instead of a zinger. I saw on MHP this morning, that he's been practicing these zingers hoping the moment can be captured and played over and over. What an ass, instead of really trying to speak to the nation he wants to capture a one-liner.

[charlyvi]

17. Zingers aren't supposed to be practiced.......they are spontaneous.

This doesn't bode well for Mitt and friends.

[TlalocW]

9. I like the double-chocolate and also raspberry Zingers

Seriously though. Remember how painful it was that one time he was surrounded by Black teenagers back in 2008 (I think the only time he's ever been), and he asked, "Who let the dogs out?" That's what it's going to be like.

Edited to add the video.

TlalocW

[charlyvi]

28. Contrary to popular belief

The banana ones are pretty good too.

[Aerows]

33. I always peeled off the layer of plastic frosting

Ate the cake, then ate the plastic frosting. How I survived without being over 100 lbs in my childhood can only be speculated upon. Though not drinking soft drinks, riding my bicycle and skating probably had something to do with it.

I wouldn't eat one today for less than a million bucks, or if

[vinny9698]

10. The Romney campaign is walking into the debates thinking of the made up Obama, not the real deal.

They cannot fathom that a black man can be articulate, intelligent, and witty. Just watch what he did to Trump at the annual press dinner, what he did to the GOP caucus, and how he handled McCain and Hillary. Zingers do not win a debate unless they are linked to truth. Like the Jack Kennedy zinger against Quayle. It was the truth.

[charlyvi]

30. Agreed.

I read somewhere last night, can't remember exactly where, that Republicans think Obama became president through a series of flukes. That he hadn't "earned" the job, and was not qualified for it on that basis. As though becoming the first black president of these united states was a fluke.......A task requiring no political or intellectual heft whatsoever. It's why they're losing now. They are so far in the bubble that they actually believe everyone feels the same way, and have designed their campaign accordingly. Since everyone doesn't feel the same way about Obama, their strategy is falling on its ass.

[NBachers]

11. Can you imagine being his campaign staff and having him practice his "zingers" on you for six weeks?

Even Ann will be yelling, "Stop It! Stop It!"

[charlyvi]

18. IT'S TOOOOOO HARD! n/t

[pinboy3niner]

12. The tweets at #MittZingers are hilarious...

Elon James White?@elonjames
I wont apologize for my success like Obama apologizes for AMERICA! No I dont have proof of him saying that but, um...socialism? #MittZingers

David Waldman?@KagroX
Knock knock! Who's there? Posthumous baptism! #MittZingers

Brinda Estrella?@BrindaStar
I had a good joke but now I'm against it. #MittZingers

Jeremy Littau?@JeremyLittau
OK, fine. I've never had a Zinger. But I do know the owner of Hostess. #MittZingers

Lisa SQOP Bloom?@BloomUtopia
Mr President, tear down that safety net! #MittZingers

I'm Chastastic!?@ThatsMyDILFbert
"I came from a real poor neighborhood. Why,one time Juan had to park the Rolls next to a Benz. Oh, the humanity…" #MittZingers

http://twitter.com/i/#!/search/%23MittZingers

[Overseas]

29. Good ones! Love the knock knock one.

[baldguy]

13. God I hope so.

This'll backfire BIG TIME. People want solutions - not one-liners. Especially bad ones delivered incompetently.

[annabanana]

14. GOT to be a head fake!

Even the Romney campaign can't be that stupid.

[charlyvi]

34. Ummmm....just think about that.

They're pretty fucking stupid.

[nenagh]

15. I thought the way you do, until I read the complex 'zingers' that HereSince1628 posted..

On DU at 10:18 am.

Those zingers are not easy to refute in one sound bite....

The words are clever and Romney could say those lines as easily as if he were giving a power point presentation.

[charlyvi]

20. But the word is out that he is armed with zingers.

So anyone listening will just say, "oh, that must be one of the zingers". Does not bode well. Why the campaign ever let this out, I don't know. Monumental FAIL!

[nenagh]

24. I understand that makes sense to thinking people...

If the zingers are kind of a put down format...I think Romney would look fake delivering those lines..and we would all chuckle..

I hope that's all there is...

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

19. Also, zingers aren't effective unless they are ad-libbed.

If Mitt memorizes a repertoire of canned one-liners he'll be trying to figure out how to fit them into his debate presentation, and they will inevitably sound forced and inappropriate. Not only will his delivery suck (he's got that weird, phony laugh), his little bon mots will just sound stupid and wrong.

Obama: My economic plan will create jobs and reduce the deficit.
Romney: Your mother swims after troop ships. Ha. Ha. Ha. But seriously, folks, who let the dogs out? Woof. Ha. Ha. Ha.

[charlyvi]

21. Yes. And we know what his record is with ad libs. n/t

[winstars]

22. You could get Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner, Woody Allen and Sid Ceasar to write them, he will still suck

[charlyvi]

23. Yep. Plus, they will probably come off sounding vicious

Instead of funny. People don't usually respond to viciousness -- unless you're a right-winger. He has the right wingers anyway,

[Hatchling]

25. Bring it on! Pleeaase.

We've all seen President Obama handle hecklers with cool and viscious aplomb.

God, it will be one zinger after another put down with Presidental stature and Mitt will look petty, mean and stupid. Of course he is petty, mean and stupid, but it will be so obvious and it will hilarious.

I cannot wait for these debates!

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

26. "Take my third wife. Please"

[tridim]

27. GRIDLOCK!

[porphyrian]

31. "I know you are, but what am I?" tentatively scheduled for second debate. n/t

[nobodyspecial]

32. Trying to turn this into a Photoshop challenge here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021441028