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NOW HIRING: US DOJ seeking applicants for US Attorney or Asst. US Attorney positions.
Must have passed bar exam of some state and, at one time, have been a licensed attorney and be willing to sign your name on pleadings to be drafted "elsewhere" ( don't ask! ) Prior criminal convictions or disbarments OK.
These positions should be considered temporary or "seasonal" opportunities, though they may lead to more lucrative careers as lobbyists, rightwing radio personalities or Liberty University professors.
Those interested should send an application letter enclosing $5000 in cash sealed in a properly addressed envelope to "Bill" at DOJ headquarters, Washington, DC. Don't call us ; we'll call you.
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