Nope. Nope. Nope. Never going to Florida.

[Nevilledog]

Link to tweet

Tweet text:
Matt Devitt
@MattDevittWINK
HUGE FLORIDA GATOR! 🐊👀 Yep, this monster is real. Caught on camera during Hurricane #Eta in Naples. Credit: Jeff Jones @WINKNews
Image

[Binkie The Clown]

1. If the gators don't eat you, global warming will flood you out. nt

[NightWatcher]

2. The one we found under our neighbor's car a few years ago was half that size.

They're mostly harmless.

[robbob]

12. Yes, a very eccentric friend of mine had a baby gator

And raised it until it was over 5 feet in length. They are totally harmless as long as they are not hungry. His cats used to go rub against the gators snout; they liked the rough skin. But never EVER when the beast was ready for a meal. They could sense it!

[EndlessWire]

50. I am an outsider.

I ain't never gonna live in Florida. Toddler boy, pet dogs, gone...I prefer coyotes, tarantulas, snakes, and Republicans as my terror triggers.

And, don't they have huge boa constrictors, or something?

[csziggy]

52. We have coyotes, tarantulas, snakes and Republicans, too

So don't feel left out.

If you don't buy water front property, you'd probably never see a gator. I grew up next to a city park that had been a swamp and was dredged out to make it a lake. There were gators in that lake but we seldom saw them. We worried more about cotton mouth moccasins since they are mean bastards. One killed my dog when I was six.

My farm is at the top of a ridge and we have seen an alligator here. It was a young one, only about four feet long. It was probably moving from the swamp to our west to the swamp to our east (or vice versa). Once it traveled through that was it. We do have coyotes and a black bear that lives down in the swamp.

Down in the Everglades they have big pythons that got loose during Hurricane Andrew. With global warming, they are moving northwards but they will take a while to get up here to the Florida Panhandle.

As a native Floridian, I will not own waterfront property, either freshwater or beach front. The swamp down in our woods is bad enough, but that is well away from the house.

[Buns_of_Fire]

3. Poor guy's out of his element. He needs to be captured and relocated.

I think a certain golf course near Palm Beach would be an appropriate location.

[GulfCoast66]

37. Captured gators are always killed because there is no place to take them

That is not already full of gators.

Plus he is totally in his element. That’s a pond behind him. They live in every body of water down here. From retention ponds, ditches and small creeks.

If there is a body of water you always assume there is a gator in it.

[Yavin4]

43. Just don't eat Trump

Probably the most unhealthy meal on the planet.

[Duppers]

61. Yes! 😅

[johnp3907]

4. Which Jurassic Park sequel is this from?

Oh wait....

[Chipper Chat]

7. YourAssic Park - Florida Gator edition.

[johnp3907]

8. !

[Phentex]

44. ...

I needed this laugh!

[Chipper Chat]

48. I lived in Florida for 5 years.

I once saw a gator jump out of the water and grab my neighbor's poodle off the dock and eat it. Amazing reptiles.

[coeur_de_lion]

5. Any body of water in Florida

like a retention pond in your back yard, a small lake, rivers, golf course ponds, etc is subject to being overtaken by gators.

Residents here know better than to walk their dogs or allow their children near small bodies of water never mind large ones. The Gulf is safe from gators but nowhere else is.

Just a fact of life here.

[obamanut2012]

15. yup

[OriginalGeek]

16. yep

we assume there are gators in anything bigger than a mud puddle.

I used golf at a course in Kissimmee that had a resident gator in one of the water hazards. He left us alone and we scooted by on carts as fast as they would go just in case.

[Phoenix61]

17. Not exactly true. They will venture out in the

Gulf from time to time.

[coeur_de_lion]

20. Hasn't happened to my knowledge

since I moved here in 1995.

[Phoenix61]

21. They've shown up on Panama City Beach. nt

[coeur_de_lion]

23. Glad I don't live up there.

That would be awful.

[Phoenix61]

25. At least the water is very clear and you can see them. nt

[coeur_de_lion]

28. That would not make me feel confident

going into the water.

[Phoenix61]

34. If people saw how close the sharks are to shore

no one would ever get in the water. Locals know not to go out past the second sand bar.

[cwydro]

31. They can tolerate saltwater, but they're freshwater critters.

I lived in the Keys for years, and never saw either there. I remember reports of one or the other around Big Pine Key once.

[Phoenix61]

33. They come down the rivers to the bay and out to

the gulf. Doesn’t happen often but gets everyone’s attention.

[cwydro]

35. Even in the lower Keys, I kept my eyes peeled.

Seeing them in the Everglades showed me that these were some critters I intended to give the utmost respect lol...and a wide berth.

[cwydro]

22. Crocs do salt water, not gators.

[Phoenix61]

24. Sorry, but they have ventured onto Panama City Beach. nt

[Hortensis]

18. :) As you say. Freshwater pond/marsh wild preserve borders

two sides of the 1/3 acre our ancient winter mobile home is on and wraps around our little neighborhood. As it is, our covered patio is only 25 feet from the water; and as for the lawn (mowed green stuff) to the water, I never hang out in one place regularly, like reading in the swing the former owners hung between palms at the water's edge. No. Someone told me he once saw a large gator pacing one of them as she strolled along the water.

[Blue_true]

32. One reason why the retention ponds that don't drain fast are fenced in

is to keep both gators and people out of them, if the water is fresh and the pond isn’t a treated sewage water drain pond (in that case, gators won’t live in them, but water birds may if they are “fresh” enough).

[GulfCoast66]

38. I've seen them several times in the gulf in Apalachicola bay.

They live on the coastal islands where there is fresh water but will venture in the bay to hunt fish.

[DonaldsRump]

6. Scary, but Trump's being in Florida is another reason to avoid this place

Sorry, Florida DU'ers! Nothing personal (except as it relates to Trump!)

[Clearly fogged in]

19. Yup, Trumpophobes and Trumpophiles and not much in between

They have us outnumbered, but that makes the thin-skinned easy picking for me.

[ms liberty]

9. That's Florida. At least you can see them and get out of the way...

Unlike copperheads, which will bite you when you step on them hiding in leaves.
Disclaimer...I grew up on the gulf coast of Fla. Rarely saw a gator, unless I was canoeing on the Hillsborough or Alafia River (pronounced "ala-fi&quot

[My Pet Orangutan]

10. Video

[Yavin4]

45. A gentleman of leisure out for a stroll in the afternoon. n/t

[lindysalsagal]

11. Like I needed another reason to avoid fla.

[mnhtnbb]

13. There are several golf courses in FL

where these monstrous gators are seen ambling across the fairways.

The orange one is known to hit into the rough and then cheat by dropping his ball on the edge of the fairway. I keep hoping one of these guys will scuttle out of the woods and deliver justice to him for all his years of cheating at golf.

[cwydro]

30. I worked at Disney years ago.

They frequently appeared on the Disney courses, probably still do.

[mitch96]

47. There was a sad story about a small child snatched from the shore at a Disney resort by a gator.

There were warning signs around but you know kids. I don't remember where the parents were but they were distraught...
We use to canoe down the Peace River and had a few encounter with gators.. Same in the Shark river valley in the Everglades... I don't do pre historic creatures well... YMMV

m

[cwydro]

49. I remember that.

Horrifying.

[csziggy]

53. My sister and her husband were canoing down the Peace River one year

It's been very dry and the river was very low. Since my sister hunts for fossils, it was a perfect opportunity. They came on a big log across the river and got out of the canoe to portage over it - then my brother in law realized it was NOT a log! It was a massive alligator just hanging out in the sun. BIL had already put one leg over the tail. He waved my sister to back up and carefully lifted his leg back.

They did not complete their trip down the Peace River that day as one trip. They carried the canoe up the bank and took the long way around the gator to get back to the water.

I grew up in Bartow so I was a little familiar with that part of the Peace River.

[mitch96]

57. That happened twice to us also. I forgot what season is the "dry river" season..

We had tee shirts made.. "I walked the Peace River".... I think it was the same company that made the "I climbed Mt Dora" tee's.... Besides the gators the fricken cotton mouth's dropping into the canoe will ruin a perfectly good afternoon.
Had lots of fun on the Peace river. We did the Zolfo springs to Arcadia route. Great fun..
Long time ago in a far away place...
m

[csziggy]

58. Yeah, the moccasins were why I never got into canoing while I lived down there

Now I live near Lake Miccosukee, one of the best gator hunting lakes in North Florida. best story about that lake, personally experienced.

My husband and I went down to the lake to get pictures one afternoon. There was someone, I kid you not, water skiing on the lake. He'd go down and while the boat was coming back around for him to take another pass, we could see gator eyes appear above the waterline and start cruising towards the water skier. We were sort of placing bets on who'd reach the guy in the water first, the gators or the boat.

For a while we had a 16 foot canoe. We took it out on the lake exactly once. I swear I saw a gator longer than our canoe and never wanted to go back out on that lake again. Soon after I badly injured a shoulder which had to be rebuilt, so I had a good excuse to not go canoeing again. We gave the canoe to our niece and nephew and they take their three boys out in the canoe all the time. Last storm to hit Panama City, their facebook page had a shot of the canoe floating in their living room.

[mitch96]

59. Never get near a gator mom with her "pups" What do you call a bunch of baby gators?

My friend use to visit a lot years ago and I kinda sorta ran out of things to do when he came down. You can only go to Key West but so many times.. Anyhoo I thought canoeing down the Loxahatchee in Palm Beach county would be fun. Long story short we came upon a momma gator and I decided it was time to boggie out of there. My friend having NO canoe experience started paddling like crazy when momma got up on her legs and LOOKED right at us. Problem was he kept on putting the paddle in on the wrong side and was pushing the front of the canoe TWARDS the gator. I'm trying to counter act his paddling in the back.. Needless to say the gator gods were smiling on us and we got away unscathed.. We had a big laugh after that but I was a wee bit worried for a bit..
m

[csziggy]

60. Yeah, I don't even remember how young I was when I learned that lesson!

My parents used to drag relatives to Tampa to Ybor City, Busch Gardens (before they added all the theme park shit, just the gardens and the brewery), and the Columbia restaurant.

Closer to where we lived was Bok Tower, The Great Masterpiece (a mosaic tile reproduction of the Last Supper), and Cypress Gardens.

Of course, that was before Disney was built.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

14. It's a cute one.

Seriously though, alligators are awesome. Living dinosaurs. I get excited whenever I see one in the lake behind our house, although it's pretty rare (only about once a year on average).

Just give them their space, keep your pets on a leash and your small kids away from the water, and enjoy.

My favorite gator is Hunchback, the 15 footer at the Circle B Preserve in Lakeland. I actually did see him when I went there, but only from afar, not like this:

[Hermit-The-Prog]

54. Maybe those folks don't realize how fast 'gators can move.

[Blue_true]

26. That thing is likely responsible for a lot of missing pets from the houses surrounding

it’s territory.

[cwydro]

27. We used to camp and canoe n the Everglades when I lived in Florida.

I saw some behemoths from my canoe.

Remember one submerging in 5 Mile Pond as we neared, and we could hear its back scraping under the boat. Scared the crap out of me.

[GulfCoast66]

39. Had a big boy bump the underside my kayak once. That gets your attention!

[cwydro]

40. Omg yes.

I was young then, and fearless.

Probably piss myself now.

[BusyBeingBest]

29. That guy is super cool!

[FakeNoose]

36. He's looking to play a round of golf

Where's my foursome?!

[Wicked Blue]

41. Psst! Mr. Gator?

There's a nice place for alligators to hang around over in Palm Beach. It's called Mar-A-Lago. Lots of tasty stuff to eat.

[Renew Deal]

42. What does that thing eat?

Whatever it wants

[coti]

46. Looks like a goddamned dinosaur!

And it kind of is!

[ProfessorGAC]

51. Oooh, Big Doggie!

Yeah, I took that from the chase scene in The Sandlot!

[csziggy]

55. Couldn't be worse than Africa

[Poiuyt]

56. Don't worry about the huge gators

The giant pythons will take care of them