Steve Martin wins today's Internet for his take on Trump's Pardons R Us "alleged" scheme

[Miles Archer]

Steve Martin
@SteveMartinToGo
Can my pardon include several films?
6:56 PM · Dec 1, 2020·Twitter for iPad

Link to tweet

[Enterstageleft]

1. He would have pardoned you, but you have to remember...

You were born a poor black child.

[Ferrets are Cool]

2. ...

[Nevilledog]

3. Perfect response.

[YDogg]

8. Ha!

[Lucinda]

4. ❤️ ✿❧🌿❧✿ ❤️

[BobTheSubgenius]

5. Pretty good, Steve.

Certainly a far cry from the "arrow through the head" gag.

[Yavin4]

6. Sorry Steve, it cannot.

You must live with the "Three Amigos" as an object lesson to younger generations.

[blueinredohio]

7. You shouldn't have been such a jerk.

[mgardener]

9. I need a pardon

I have called Trump a f☆☆☆ing moron at least once a day for the last 4 years.

[Harker]

10. Well... parrrrdonnnn meeeeeee

doesn't quite have that ring to it.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

11. Sure, Steve but only if you wear this to the inauguration.....

What a funny guy........ .......

[keithbvadu2]

12. For all your good stuff, you are forgiven for a few clunkers.

For all your good stuff, you are forgiven for a few clunkers.

[wnylib]

13. I thought he was great in It's Complicated

with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. Had me laughing out loud.

[Sloumeau]

14. Unfortunately for Steve Martin, Donald Trump has something against him.

Years ago, Steve Martin offered Donald Trump a drug that would make him "get small", and it permanently affected Donald's hands and penis (his brain was always that small).

[flibbitygiblets]

15. I need a pardon for most of the '80's

including several ill-fated relationships, one spectacularly bad marriage, and multiple crimes of fashion. Better throw in the early to mid 90's while we're at it.