81-year-old woman contracted COVID at assisted living facility & died on Dec 6th. From her obit...

[ARPad95]

[Identifying info removed.]

She contracted COVID19 at her residence, [ ] Assisted Living in [ ] County, NY, and passed away at [ ] Hospital. She died scared and alone, surrounded by strangers concealed within protective equipment for their own safety, within a mercifully short time, less than 24 hours after hospital admission. She is preceded in death by more than 300,000 (and counting) Americans infected with COVID-19. Stay safe. Wear a mask.

[CatWoman]

1. ....

[moonscape]

2. When my mom had a stroke in Assisted Living

(she had alzheimer's and I cared for her half the year - she still knew me), I was on the opposite coast. They called and I discussed with the head nurse what to do. Apart from sudden issues of QOL (she was in her 90's), the nurse and I discussed how scared mom would be being taken to the hospital and not having me at her side to explain things, hold her hand, etc. And that was when staff was plentiful, attention was easy, PPE not required, etc.

As much as I miss Mom, I am so glad her time ran out before covid. I cannot imagine the pain both of us would have gone through.

My heart breaks for the 100's of thousands who are living that pain, in the hospital, not able to see one another, alone. I literally cry at almost every report along these lines.

Dark days.

[pnwmom]

3. Me, too. As hard as it was to lose my mother a few years ago,

at least she was spared the horror of dying in 2020, alone and afraid. She died holding the hands of people she loved, in a place where she felt safe.

[Dem2theMax]

6. I so agree.

Both of my parents passed away in 2012. My mom went first, and my dad and I were holding her hands as she took her last breath. I know the reason my dad died is because my mom died. After almost 66 years of marriage, he couldn't live without her. He passed five months later, and I was holding his hand.

I constantly think about all of the people who cannot be there with their loved ones while this pandemic is raging.
I don't know how many times I have burst into tears when I have read a story about how someone has passed away, all alone, no family there to comfort them.

If my parents were alive today, they would be 101 and 102 years of age. I am so grateful they are not here to have to go through any of this. I would be going out of my mind trying to keep them safe.

[MustLoveBeagles]

10. Condolences to you and your family on the loss of your mom

My mom passed in 2009 at 57 and dad in 2018 at 72. I hate that I didn't have more time with them but I think it's better this way. They both died suddenly so I wasn't able to be there for either them but at least they weren't frightened and alone. I'm thankful they never had to know this horror.

[pnwmom]

11. To you, too, MustLoveBeagles!

What a shock it must have been to lose your mom at such a young age -- but yes, it would have been awful to see our parents suffering over the last year, and be unable to be with them.

[MustLoveBeagles]

12. Thank you pnwmom

Mom had suffered from poor health for several years before she died. She'd had a heart attack and several strokes and was in the beginning stages of dementia. She was in a nursing home because she needed round the clock care and my spouse and I both worked full time. She chocked to death eating her lunch. The staff and paramedics couldn't remove the obstruction in time. I expected another stroke would take her not something like that. Dad was in the Philippines visiting my half brother. He collapsed due to heart failure and never regained consciousness. His girlfriend was by his side when he went.

[pnwmom]

13. **

[MontanaMama]

5. I'm sorry about the loss of your mom.

My father in law died March 11, 2020 of a respiratory infection. He was in the hospital. We don’t know if he had Covid or not. If he had died even a couple days later, he would have died alone...our city went on lock down just a couple days after he died.

Every time I hear of someone dying alone...the weight of grief feels heavy. It didn’t have to be like this.

Please accept my condolences.

[moonscape]

7. So glad he was able to escape the isolation of covid at the end, and

have you there. Very sorry for your loss also.

Mom died a while ago, it's just that every story makes me think of her, and the vulnerability that age and cognitive decline bring. I was able to fly back right away and be bedside with her the last two weeks of her life and not having that would have been torture, for both of us.

We are both lucky to have been spared what so many are going through.

[niyad]

4. Should we now be calling them assisted dying facilities?

May she be at peace.

And damn the murdering, orange traitor and all his enablers, to the deepest reaches of hell.

[mopinko]

18. they always were that.

we just didnt call it that.

[Justice]

8. 2 school classmates from a County in NY lost their moms

to Covid since Thanksgiving. Both were in nursing homes.

The virus didn’t affect them much in upstate NY last spring. It’s a totally different story now.

[FirstLight]

9. this sucks... My folks are headed that way and there's nothing else we can do

It's finally gotten to the point where they cannot be left alone, my sister and I are taking turns "staying over" until we can figure out the money situation and such...

I was really fighting to keep them with home health care but 24 hour care is too much compared to assisted living

I am so worried

[marlakay]

14. My mom in her senior home is afraid to leave her room

They stopped doing dining long time ago last spring and brought meals to her apt, then few months ago started having people take turns coming down and you sit alone at one of the tables, they have a bunch that fit 4 people. She went a few times got scared and stays in her place. Except for doctor apts she is trapped. My kids and I do a video chat with her every weekend but I know she misses being able to go out. I live to far away to visit and my daughter that lives closer visits a little but since she works in public doesn't want to put her at risk. Hopefully she will get vaccine soon she talks about it all the time.

[leftyladyfrommo]

15. Same thing happened to my friend. nt

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

16. My good friend's sister died two weeks ago.

Not from Covid, but from leukemia. But because of Covid, my friend, whom I will call Carol, was barely able to visit her sister, whom I will call Linda, and I know that was hard. Linda was not married (divorced, no children) and Carol flew from New Mexico to Albany, NY before about two weeks before Linda died. One good thing here is that Carol is retired, and can remain in Albany, living in her sister's home, driving her sister's car, while she settles everything. Carol's husband is back in NM, basically holding down the fort. He's a writer, and so does not need to go to a job every day himself, and is self-sufficient enough to manage quite well while Carol is away.

Linda did not have a will, or at least none has been found so far. I want to use this to tell every one and all of you to make a will. You need one. Yes, you do. And if you don't think you do, I hope you have the pleasure of settling the estate of someone who died without one and had various financial complications. Heck, when my son died three and a half years ago, he had a will and essentially a very simple estate. It still took much longer than you might think to settle everything.

At least Carol is able to stay in Linda's home while she works out everything. In many ways, this will be a simple estate. Linda had put Carol's name on things like her retirement account, which Carol will be able to access pretty quickly. But meanwhile, she died intestate, without a will, which means that things like putting the title of Linda's home into Carol's name will take longer than I think Carol realizes. One good thing is that a neighbor has already said they want to buy the home, which will make that much easier. No need to find a realtor and put the house on the market.

Anyway, if you don't have a will, make one now. Find an attorney and do the paperwork. Trust me, it's well worth it.

[RobinA]

17. This Has Got To Be

one of the worst aspects of this whole mess. I can't really blame the facilities. They have an impossible job at this point. Impossible given the reality on the ground, not technically impossible. I have a hard time believing that something could not be worked out to allow families to see elderly and very sick patients.