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Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:06 AM

I don't know how much more I can take.

My husband died after a surgical procedure on Wednesday and my daughter who was going to come down to be with me just tested positive for Covid. It looks like 2021 is going to be just as mind-numbingly bad as 2020.

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Reply I don't know how much more I can take. (Original post)
stage left Jan 2021 OP
blm Jan 2021 #1
stage left Jan 2021 #11
kairos12 Jan 2021 #71
catbyte Jan 2021 #2
MustLoveBeagles Jan 2021 #3
stage left Jan 2021 #12
sprinkleeninow Jan 2021 #4
elleng Jan 2021 #5
applegrove Jan 2021 #6
sfstaxprep Jan 2021 #7
The Velveteen Ocelot Jan 2021 #8
boston bean Jan 2021 #9
58Sunliner Jan 2021 #10
IsItJustMe Jan 2021 #13
stage left Jan 2021 #17
KentuckyWoman Jan 2021 #14
stage left Jan 2021 #22
stage left Jan 2021 #15
halobeam Jan 2021 #16
stage left Jan 2021 #23
bdtrppr6 Jan 2021 #18
Niagara Jan 2021 #19
stage left Jan 2021 #25
3catwoman3 Jan 2021 #20
stage left Jan 2021 #28
sakabatou Jan 2021 #21
FirstLight Jan 2021 #24
stage left Jan 2021 #30
orleans Jan 2021 #26
stage left Jan 2021 #35
orleans Jan 2021 #57
stage left Jan 2021 #74
Niagara Jan 2021 #40
cate94 Jan 2021 #27
stage left Jan 2021 #36
JI7 Jan 2021 #29
stage left Jan 2021 #38
GeoWilliam750 Jan 2021 #31
stage left Jan 2021 #39
sueh Jan 2021 #32
stage left Jan 2021 #41
RestoreAmerica2020 Jan 2021 #33
RestoreAmerica2020 Jan 2021 #34
stage left Jan 2021 #43
Nevilledog Jan 2021 #37
stage left Jan 2021 #44
lunatica Jan 2021 #42
stage left Jan 2021 #46
SheltieLover Jan 2021 #45
stage left Jan 2021 #47
SheltieLover Jan 2021 #66
Hekate Jan 2021 #48
stage left Jan 2021 #49
k8conant Jan 2021 #50
pnwmom Jan 2021 #51
KT2000 Jan 2021 #52
healthnut7 Jan 2021 #53
Moostache Jan 2021 #54
stage left Jan 2021 #75
lillypaddle Jan 2021 #55
hamsterjill Jan 2021 #56
Guilded Lilly Jan 2021 #58
colorado_ufo Jan 2021 #59
blogslut Jan 2021 #60
murielm99 Jan 2021 #61
MissB Jan 2021 #62
mnhtnbb Jan 2021 #63
malaise Jan 2021 #64
live love laugh Jan 2021 #65
sinkingfeeling Jan 2021 #67
brer cat Jan 2021 #68
bluestarone Jan 2021 #69
JudyM Jan 2021 #70
Freedomofspeech Jan 2021 #72
Skittles Jan 2021 #73
peacebuzzard Jan 2021 #76
sheshe2 Jan 2021 #77
Peacetrain Jan 2021 #78
Vivienne235729 Jan 2021 #79
NNadir Jan 2021 #80
Maraya1969 Jan 2021 #81
area51 Jan 2021 #82
bdamomma Jan 2021 #83
progressoid Jan 2021 #84

Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:08 AM

1. ((stage))

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Response to blm (Reply #1)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:17 AM

11. Thanks

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Response to blm (Reply #1)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 12:01 PM

71. My most profound condolences to you blm. Also peace and strength to your daughter.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:09 AM

2. I'm so very sorry.

Please accept my deepest condolences. I hope your daughter recovers quickly. Again, I'm so sorry.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:09 AM

3. I'm so sorry

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Response to MustLoveBeagles (Reply #3)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:18 AM

12. Thanks

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:09 AM

4. Please know you will be in my heart of hearts.

Praying for you...

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:10 AM

5. We're with you.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:10 AM

6. Lighting a candle for you:

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:10 AM

7. My Condolences On Your Husband's Passing

I am very saddened to hear this, and hope that your daughter has an uneventful bout with Covid.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:13 AM

8. I'm so sorry!

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:15 AM

9. I am so sorry.

Love and hugs to you.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:15 AM

10. I am so sorry. My condolences on your loss.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:19 AM

13. One day at a time. And if it can't be a day, one hour at a time.

With any luck at all, your daughter will get through this and will be able to see you in a couple. We all have more strength than we know we have. Positive thoughts are with you. You are not alone.

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Response to IsItJustMe (Reply #13)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:22 AM

17. I don't seem to have any luck.

My girl--she's really a woman--has no symptoms. She was being tested before coming here. I hope it stays that way.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:19 AM

14. My heart goes out to you.

Loss of a spouse is the absolute devil. Unexpectedly is worse. Hopefully your daughter ends up asymptomatic or a very mild version. It isn't the same, but it is good you have a daughter for support, even if from afar.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Reply #14)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:28 AM

22. Thank you, KentuckyWoman

I think I'm still stunned. I expected my husband's outcome would not be the best. He had just been diagnosed with invasive bladder cancer. I was gearing up to help him fight it. And then he was gone.

She has no symptoms and her partner tested negative. How she's going to isolate, I don't know. They live in a one bedroom apartment.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:20 AM

15. Thanks everybody

I am down to the last thin wire.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:22 AM

16. I'm so sorry for your loss.. my heart goes out to you and your daughter!

Please take care of yourself, so you are well when your daughter is better, and can come to you. All the best wishes for your daughters uneventful recovery.

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Response to halobeam (Reply #16)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:29 AM

23. Thanks

I will try to do that, halobeam.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:24 AM

18. peace be with you

 

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:24 AM

19. I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your husband.

Here's to a quick recovery for your daughter. I would recommend a women's one a day multivitamin and daily melatonin intake to help her with her recovery.



I wasn't even logged in when I read your devastating news. I know it's not the same as another person being in your actual presence, but we are here for you, Stage Left.


Sending you strength and hugs.

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Response to Niagara (Reply #19)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:32 AM

25. Thanks, Niagra

It does help that you're here. What an awful year it's been. I tried so hard to keep my husband safe from Covid, and he died anyway.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:25 AM

20. How very sad. Wishing you strength from somewhere...

...deep inside yourself, and a prompt recovery for your daughter.

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Response to 3catwoman3 (Reply #20)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:36 AM

28. Thanks, Catwoman

I consider myself a strong woman and I was digging out and then this news just knocked me back down. I know the only way you can get through hell is to keep going, but I'm damned tired of going through hell.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:27 AM

21. Hugs

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:30 AM

24. So very sorry....

We're here for you : grouphug:

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Response to FirstLight (Reply #24)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:38 AM

30. Thanks

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:32 AM

26. is there someone else that can be in contact with you to help you out

over the next week or two? a cousin or aunt or sister? maybe there's a good neighbor you're friends with who could come over and talk, cook, or just check in with you.

i'm very sorry to hear about your husband's passing and then your daughter testing positive. i imagine this is a LOT of stress for you--maybe check with your doctor and see if they can recommend something that might help alleviate some of the stress. does your daughter have someone that can help her through this if she doesn't feel well?

mostly i am concerned about you. please check back in here with us.

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Response to orleans (Reply #26)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:50 AM

35. Yes

I have a sister. My daughter doesn't seem to want me to tell anybody her "business." But since I'm pretty anonymous here. I just couldn't keep it inside. You know?

I feel like I've been living with my body and my teeth clenched for four years and this year has, of course, been worse.

I was quite the loner until four years ago when I became very active with an indivisible group and I've made some good friends. It was the only good thing that happened to me during the Trump regime. I'm lucky in that regard.

It is a lot of stress. I've already been taking anti-depressives for awhile. My daughter has a partner and a couple of friends in her building that will help her. I keep hoping it's a false positive. Her partner, who works at Trader Joe's tested negative and right now my daughter is asymptomatic.

We must have one lucky star, right?

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Response to stage left (Reply #35)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:56 AM

57. i am really glad to hear this

sounds like both you and your daughter have a support system in place that you can go to or ask for help/company/dinner maybe?

i lived with my mother forever and when she died it was horrible for me--i was so lost. my daughter was there for a few days and had to return to college (and then she came home a week or two later--or a month later and stayed for a couple months. i can't even remember--it was such a traumatic time). but i had great neighbors across the street & next door that looked in on me, called me, brought me dinners, etc.

i just googled what helps to relieve stress and found a uk website that has various suggestions--some of which i feel are not exactly practical in this era (such as massage or acupuncture). but one of the things that was mentioned was ecotherapy (getting outside, in the green, in nature) and also aromatherapy.
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/stress/treatment-for-stress/

my daughter has one of those diffusers (or whatever they're called--it has a plug and she melts scented wax in it) and it's really nice. i'm not sure where she got it but i see yankee candle has some of that https://www.yankeecandle.com/browse/car--flameless/home-fragrance/wax-melts-and-warmers/_/N-cfe?view=Grid

wishing you peaceful and easy days ahead

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Response to orleans (Reply #57)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 07:52 PM

74. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I miss my mother every day.

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Response to orleans (Reply #26)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:52 AM

40. +1. Excellent suggestions.

Having someone checking in and making sure there's a decent meal helps. That's an excellent suggestion since a support system is imperative during this difficult time.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:33 AM

27. I'm so sorry

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Response to cate94 (Reply #27)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:50 AM

36. Thanks

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:36 AM

29. Hopefully she will recover without any serious symptoms and will be with you afterwards

I'm sorry for the loss of your husband.

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Response to JI7 (Reply #29)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:51 AM

38. Thanks

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:40 AM

31. Wishing you strength and solace

Your daughter will especially need you now.

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Response to GeoWilliam750 (Reply #31)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:52 AM

39. Thanks

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:40 AM

32. (((Hugs))) and prayers for you, stage left and for your daughter.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband. I hope your daughter can join you soon.

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Response to sueh (Reply #32)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:53 AM

41. Thanks

me, too.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:46 AM

33. Sorry for your loss. Hope your daughter is ok...

Paz

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:46 AM

34. Sorry for your loss. Hope your daughter is ok..and can be with you soon

..my son tested positive .last month and had to quarantine for 10days; he had mild symptons-- is ok now.

Take care. Paz

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Response to RestoreAmerica2020 (Reply #34)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:54 AM

43. Thanks

I'm glad your son is ok, Paz.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:51 AM

37. ...

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Response to Nevilledog (Reply #37)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:55 AM

44. Thanks

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:54 AM

42. This is tragic!

Hugs to you. I hope your daughter gets well. Remember that even though we hear more about the deaths the great majority make it through.

This is a very hard thing youíre going through. Iím so sorry you lost your husband.

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Response to lunatica (Reply #42)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:56 AM

46. Thanks

I hope she will pull through. I will be checking on her all the time.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:56 AM

45. So sorry to hear this, Stage!

I hope your daughter is ok & that you can be together soon!

Lease take good care of yourself!

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Response to SheltieLover (Reply #45)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:58 AM

47. thanks

She is worried about me getting through, but I can do that as long as she gets well.

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Response to stage left (Reply #47)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 07:52 AM

66. Yw!

Yale is offering their very popular Science of Well Being course free. It is really great material & the 1st videos are available immediately upon completing a brief registration.

Folks who have tried it say they felt better after the 1st video.

Here is the link:

https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being?utm_source=gg&utm_medium=sem&utm_campaign=01-BrandedSearch-US&utm_content=01-BrandedSearch-US&campaignid=380484307&adgroupid=102187343498&device=m&keyword=&matchtype=b&network=g&devicemodel=&adpostion=&creativeid=433079694377&hide_mobile_promo&gclid=Cj0KCQiA88X_BRDUARIsACVMYD8VEbaQC7TUuApl7bsaXBVV-GaM1GaJ-rQnjyMkrIoAWnsIe6iOn4EaAvGUEALw_wcB

I sure hope your daughter has only a mild case & is able to be with you soon!

Stay safe, my friend!

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:59 AM

48. (((Oh God I am sorry)))

Strength to you.
Peace to you.
Healing to your daughter.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 01:59 AM

49. Thanks everyone for your support.

I think I'm going to try to get some rest and I'll keep you updated on how it goes. Love to you all. And peace.
J

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:01 AM

50. May your husband's memory be eternal. May your daughter recover. May you be comforted.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:03 AM

51. My deepest condolences, stage left. This year has been so full of sorrow.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through that profound loss on your own.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:22 AM

52. I am sorry

that is a lot to take. You have my sympathy and I wish you strength.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:24 AM

53. So sorry.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:28 AM

54. My condolences and thoughts are with you

I have lived a part of this hell in the last 3 months with the passing of my mom, and I am always willing to be a sounding board for anyone who needs to talk, scream, cry or all of the above about this...I find it helps me too. I am very sorry for your loss.

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Response to Moostache (Reply #54)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 07:54 PM

75. Moostache

Thanks, I will keep that in mind. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:33 AM

55. oh god

So sorry for the loss of your husband. Best wishes to your daughter for a speedy recovery. And as for you,

Hang in there ...

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:42 AM

56. There are no words...

Iím so sorry. Sending love, prayers and hugs. Hold on!

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 03:10 AM

58. We send our supportive spirit. I'm so sorry you are facing this but we are with you.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 03:37 AM

59. Deepest sympathy.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 03:40 AM

60. I am so very very sorry

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 03:43 AM

61. I am very sorry.

This is too much for a person to go through all at once.

Words on a message board are all I have, but I hope you can get through this all right. Take care of your own health, too.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 04:48 AM

62. I am so sorry for your loss

I hope your daughter remains healthy and is able to join you in person to comfort you after her quarantine is finished.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 05:10 AM

63. I am so sorry for your loss, stage left

and that your daughter has tested positive.

Sending light and love to you, with hope that your daughter will not experience a bad case of the coronavirus.

Take care of yourself. Get outside for a walk if you can every day. Listen to music. There will be so many details that require your attention, don't let them overwhelm you. One day at a time.

My heart goes out to you.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 06:04 AM

64. I can't even imagine your pain rand stress at this time

Use the technology to see and talk to your daughter daily as that is important.
Deepest sympathy on the death of your husband

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 07:52 AM

65. I'm so sorry for your loss 😢

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 08:47 AM

67. Deepest condolences.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 11:25 AM

68. I'm so sorry for your loss

and the illness of your daughter. I hope she recovers fully.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 11:32 AM

69. So sorry from your family here on DU!

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 11:48 AM

70. That is a lot to absorb, so very sorry.

You can do this, though. Take good care of yourself. You can move forward one day at a time, and we all hope your daughter will shake off Covid soon.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 03:47 PM

72. Sending you love and peace...

So very sorry for your loss and hope that your daughter heals quickly.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 05:03 PM

73. I am so sorry, stage left

just know that there is ALWAYS someone on DU, we are here for you

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 07:59 PM

76. Oh no. I am so sorry.

I really am, just saw this.
I am so sorry for this tragic loss of your husband. Sorry about your daughter and I hope she heals well and fast.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 08:00 PM

77. Sorry I missed this.

Love to you and yours.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 08:01 PM

78. Oh no, I am so very sorry

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 08:10 PM

79. So sorry for your loss. Hang in there.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 09:06 PM

80. I am very sorry. Please accept my condolences.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 10:09 PM

81. I am so sorry for you loss. I hope your daughter heals quickly.

2021 will be hard for sure because you will morn your husband but it doesn't have to be as bad as 2020.

Sending you warm thoughts.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 10:20 PM

82. I'm so sorry, SL.


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Response to stage left (Original post)

Sun Jan 3, 2021, 10:23 PM

83. So sorry for your

loss. We are here for support.

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Response to stage left (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2021, 12:01 AM

84. So sorry for your loss.

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