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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsSomething that happened today that might be useful if Trump still refuses to leave after January 20
This morning I discovered we had a raccoon take up residence in an eave space in our roof. While I have nothing against raccoons in general and did not wish to see any harm come to the creature, I wasn't really a big fan of it becoming a permanent tenant there or-- even worse--making its way into our attic and wrecking havoc in there.
After attempting to shoo it away with a garden hose (which did absolutely nothing; honestly, I think it actually enjoyed it), I was forced to call in a professional to humanely extricate it from our roof.
When the guy from removal service arrived, I assumed he was simply going to set up a trap cage to which it could be lured in. However, instead what he did was get a long stick--about eight feet in length--and placed a rag on the end of it. In turn, the rag had been doused in a mysterious liquid. The removal service guy simply placed the stick in the general direction of the raccoon, and within about 10 seconds the raccoon had climbed out of the eaves space, made its way down the roof, jumped down and high tailed it in the direction of the neighbors (maybe to scout out their eaves space for a more comfortable habitat).
The removal guy then explained what was on the stick; it was the excretion fluid from a male raccoon, and our raccoon being a female (although thankfully with no kits in tow, which would have made the situation far more complicated), females apparently despise this male raccoon excretion fluid and want nothing to do with it.
Thus, if it comes noon on January 20th and Donald Trump has stubbornly refused to vacate the White House premises, I wholeheartedly endorse the tactic of shoving a stick in his face covered in raccoon excretion fluid in the hopes it might cause him to flee.
After all, it does seem to be a foolproof method of getting rid of unwanted squatting pests.
northoftheborder
(7,566 posts)Nevilledog
(50,686 posts)Could make a mint off of a cologne meant to repel trumphumpers.
MaryMagdaline
(6,849 posts)Midnight Writer
(21,548 posts)Do you think it would be OK to keep it in a coffee can?
yonder
(9,631 posts)JHB
(37,132 posts)I mean, it's a similar concept and the goal of both would be to make him flee the premises of his own accord.
However, having a bowl of mashed potatoes dumped on his head and staring at the prospect of it being repeated for hours on end would get under his skin in a way that mere racoon piss would not.
(After all, some people say he has a thing for golden showers.)
2naSalit
(86,059 posts)Mashed potatoes might be his male raccoon excretion!
lagomorph777
(30,613 posts)Lure him out into a giant cage.
JHB
(37,132 posts)...where at an extended family dinner, Trump's mom recounted a time when the Trump kids were little, Donnie was being his usual persistently-unpleasant self picking on his brother, so the brother grabbed the bowl of mashed potatoes on the table and dumped it over Donnie's head. And the whole family howled with laughter at the spud-covered brat.
Glancing over at Uncle Donald, Mary could tell he still seethed over the incident. He'd been humiliated by someone he thought inferior to him, and he never lets a slight go.
So those bowls aren't for his stomach. They're there to adorn his hairdo, and he'll know it the moment he sees the first one, much less the hundreds behind it.
If you want him to "self-deport" from the WH, make him choose whether to relive that moment over and over and over. He'll flee.
MuseRider
(34,060 posts)We baited beaver from our pond with a different type of scent, trapped them in a cage and took them to a big lake with lots of beaver and streams that allowed them to be safe. I have used something like you are talking about for other things over the years but darned if I can remember, out here we get lots of pests. I was told that human urine kept out some kinds of critters from your garden. I enlisted my two little boys, then around 5-7 years old and they took care of that with gusto and enjoyment. We could all just volunteer to send jars of pee and have someone soak rags. It might take awhile but in summer it should start to really kick in.
Midnight Writer
(21,548 posts)MuseRider
(34,060 posts)I bet he did.
lunatica
(53,410 posts)Niagara
(7,407 posts)Dem_in_Nebr.
(299 posts)I've wished for a way to rec individual posts in a thread.
Bayard
(21,805 posts)Bait it with hamberder.
lunatica
(53,410 posts)Hes said so himself. He once refused to help an old man who was bleeding while in some party or fund raiser or charity, or whatever function he used to crash just to stay relevant.
Put a rag on the end of a stick with fresh blood on it. That should do the trick.
jcgoldie
(11,584 posts)It would have to be covered in fluid excreted by his own species... pretty sure none exist...
jcgoldie
(11,584 posts)OMG!
JHB
(37,132 posts)Given his habit of making loud vulgar noises, and pissing on anything he sees below him, his lineage is clear.
Howler Monkey.
FailureToCommunicate
(13,989 posts)Trump himself. I cannot think of any on God's green Earth more vile...
patphil
(6,034 posts)If they can't use that, Ammonia will do just a well.
Flush the Turd on January 20th!
Revanchist
(1,375 posts)You need to tie a bundle of fresh broccoli to the stick. That will scare him away for sure 😜
ffr
(22,649 posts)That would work too.
3catwoman3
(23,819 posts)...something I would pay to see.
flamin lib
(14,559 posts)for the last couple of years; cuff, shackle and drag his smarmy ass out of the People's House. Sell Pay per View and fund the Covid Recovery Plan.
I'd pay good money to see it, wouldn't you?
leftieNanner
(14,998 posts)Which is why they are putting different agents in the Biden detail.
jayschool2013
(2,309 posts)The stick of justice.
Those ought to do the trick.
I'd be more worried that he's going to high-tail it to another country from which he won't be extradited.
He's a coward, after all.
niyad
(112,435 posts)And, as an added bonus, repeated hints about the groups who are looking for him.
Warpy
(110,912 posts)Butyric acid might work, if they could confine it to him and the carpeting he is expected to take with him when he leaves.
Personally, I'm still holding out for the hug-me jacket and refrigerator dolly. Bonus points if he goes into the dumpster near the WH service entrance.
ShazzieB
(15,958 posts)I'm definitely in favor of the dolly and jacket, especially if it's accessorized with one one of those cute little Hannibal Lector masks!
CanonRay
(14,038 posts)soldierant
(6,648 posts)3catwoman3
(23,819 posts)...drive thru the heart (if he has one).
Soxfan58
(3,479 posts)Trump likes pee!
TeamPooka
(24,156 posts)Mr. Evil
(2,749 posts)we should procure some 'excretion fluid' from him. That should definitely get the job done!
I know it's a stretch but, President Obama seems like a stand-up guy. I mean, if that's the only way to get rid of the White House pest, I'm sure he'd consider stepping up.
AllaN01Bear
(17,383 posts)pansypoo53219
(20,906 posts)cp
(6,543 posts)relayerbob
(6,509 posts)His own smells are far too strong to even notice
bluescribbler
(2,105 posts)Seriously, this is t he funniest thing I've seen on the internet in too damn long.
DallasNE
(7,392 posts)Should that not work do the same thing but this time make the excretion fluid come from an African-American. That would for sure send him hightailing it out of there. It might even cause him to head for his Turnberry club.
niyad
(112,435 posts)AmericanCanuck
(1,102 posts)who would shoot him with a tranquilizer dart, check his vitals, weigh him, put a GPS collar on him and an ID tag on his foot -- then release him in some forest before the tranquilizer wears off.
myohmy2
(3,118 posts)...wrong species...?
...but not to worry, Grandma said she's willing to piss on a stick if it gets him out of the White House January 20th...
...seriously, Grammie said that...
...
housecat
(3,121 posts)CMYK
(106 posts)Good story, thanks!
flibbitygiblets
(7,220 posts)And wed NEVER run out of volunteers!
Smackdown2019
(1,169 posts)Have Joe the plumber shows up with a truck load of Skunks. Then have the Washington DC animal shelter deposit some dogs off. I sure there be some activity going on, QUICK!
NNadir
(33,368 posts)The toupee and arrested for trespassing.