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Tommy_Carcetti

(43,085 posts)
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 06:41 PM Jan 2021

Something that happened today that might be useful if Trump still refuses to leave after January 20

This morning I discovered we had a raccoon take up residence in an eave space in our roof. While I have nothing against raccoons in general and did not wish to see any harm come to the creature, I wasn't really a big fan of it becoming a permanent tenant there or-- even worse--making its way into our attic and wrecking havoc in there.

After attempting to shoo it away with a garden hose (which did absolutely nothing; honestly, I think it actually enjoyed it), I was forced to call in a professional to humanely extricate it from our roof.

When the guy from removal service arrived, I assumed he was simply going to set up a trap cage to which it could be lured in. However, instead what he did was get a long stick--about eight feet in length--and placed a rag on the end of it. In turn, the rag had been doused in a mysterious liquid. The removal service guy simply placed the stick in the general direction of the raccoon, and within about 10 seconds the raccoon had climbed out of the eaves space, made its way down the roof, jumped down and high tailed it in the direction of the neighbors (maybe to scout out their eaves space for a more comfortable habitat).

The removal guy then explained what was on the stick; it was the excretion fluid from a male raccoon, and our raccoon being a female (although thankfully with no kits in tow, which would have made the situation far more complicated), females apparently despise this male raccoon excretion fluid and want nothing to do with it.

Thus, if it comes noon on January 20th and Donald Trump has stubbornly refused to vacate the White House premises, I wholeheartedly endorse the tactic of shoving a stick in his face covered in raccoon excretion fluid in the hopes it might cause him to flee.

After all, it does seem to be a foolproof method of getting rid of unwanted squatting pests.

52 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Something that happened today that might be useful if Trump still refuses to leave after January 20 (Original Post) Tommy_Carcetti Jan 2021 OP
Heh! northoftheborder Jan 2021 #1
This has potential...... Nevilledog Jan 2021 #2
Excellent plan! MaryMagdaline Jan 2021 #3
I'll start collecting my excretion fluid immediately. Midnight Writer Jan 2021 #4
I keep mine in the fridge. yonder Jan 2021 #7
I still contend that the most effective tool would be hundreds of bowls of mashed potatoes. JHB Jan 2021 #5
L think you have something there! 2naSalit Jan 2021 #33
Set them out on the South Lawn, along with buckets of fried chicken. lagomorph777 Jan 2021 #50
No, I'm thinking of the story told by Mary Trump... JHB Jan 2021 #51
This has some possibilities! MuseRider Jan 2021 #6
They tried to get Trump out of a Russian hotel that way. Turned out he liked it. Midnight Writer Jan 2021 #8
Ha Ha Ha! MuseRider Jan 2021 #10
LOL! lunatica Jan 2021 #11
Hehehe! Niagara Jan 2021 #16
That is DUZY Material! Dem_in_Nebr. Jan 2021 #21
I'm thinking a giant rat sticky trap Bayard Jan 2021 #9
He has a high intolerance level for blood lunatica Jan 2021 #12
It won't work jcgoldie Jan 2021 #13
Unless! jcgoldie Jan 2021 #15
Wrong species. Don't disparage orangutans JHB Jan 2021 #46
Good idea, but the "excretion fluid" would have to be from some creature more vile than FailureToCommunicate Jan 2021 #14
That's a great idea! patphil Jan 2021 #17
This is Trump you're talking about Revanchist Jan 2021 #18
Oh, I thought you were going to say, have him tarred and feathered. ffr Jan 2021 #19
Oohhh, tar in that nasty hair of his is... 3catwoman3 Jan 2021 #36
Naaa. Get the film crew from COPS and let the Secret Service do what they've wanted to do flamin lib Jan 2021 #20
Apparently some of the Secret Service agents actually LIKE him! leftieNanner Jan 2021 #35
The scent of the law jayschool2013 Jan 2021 #22
I know that most people want him in prison, but think about the savings to the taxpayers. niyad Jan 2021 #40
Trash pandas have higher standards. Warpy Jan 2021 #23
I second that motion. ShazzieB Jan 2021 #52
I'm thinking a mirror, a cross, and maybe some garlic. CanonRay Jan 2021 #24
You might also need strong sunlight. What's the weather report? soldierant Jan 2021 #30
And a stake, a nice sharp one, to... 3catwoman3 Jan 2021 #39
One problem Soxfan58 Jan 2021 #25
Soak the rag in Russian hooker pee and Trump will stay forever. TeamPooka Jan 2021 #26
Since he absolutely despises President Obama, Mr. Evil Jan 2021 #27
del monte beef stew stinks to high heaven when opened . AllaN01Bear Jan 2021 #28
feed him veggies + no ice cream. pansypoo53219 Jan 2021 #29
How about a dollar bill at the end of the stick? cp Jan 2021 #31
Won't work relayerbob Jan 2021 #32
You owe me a keyboard. bluescribbler Jan 2021 #34
Plan B DallasNE Jan 2021 #37
Menstrual blood. niyad Jan 2021 #38
. JudyM Jan 2021 #45
I still prefer Forest Service Rangers AmericanCanuck Jan 2021 #41
wrong sex...? myohmy2 Jan 2021 #42
lol worth a try housecat Jan 2021 #43
Well writen CMYK Jan 2021 #44
IDK this feels more satisfying flibbitygiblets Jan 2021 #47
Better idea, instead of a stick. Smackdown2019 Jan 2021 #48
I kind of want him to be dragged out of the White House by... NNadir Jan 2021 #49

JHB

(37,132 posts)
5. I still contend that the most effective tool would be hundreds of bowls of mashed potatoes.
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 07:15 PM
Jan 2021

I mean, it's a similar concept and the goal of both would be to make him flee the premises of his own accord.

However, having a bowl of mashed potatoes dumped on his head and staring at the prospect of it being repeated for hours on end would get under his skin in a way that mere racoon piss would not.

(After all, some people say he has a thing for golden showers.)

lagomorph777

(30,613 posts)
50. Set them out on the South Lawn, along with buckets of fried chicken.
Tue Jan 5, 2021, 10:42 AM
Jan 2021

Lure him out into a giant cage.

JHB

(37,132 posts)
51. No, I'm thinking of the story told by Mary Trump...
Tue Jan 5, 2021, 10:59 AM
Jan 2021

...where at an extended family dinner, Trump's mom recounted a time when the Trump kids were little, Donnie was being his usual persistently-unpleasant self picking on his brother, so the brother grabbed the bowl of mashed potatoes on the table and dumped it over Donnie's head. And the whole family howled with laughter at the spud-covered brat.

Glancing over at Uncle Donald, Mary could tell he still seethed over the incident. He'd been humiliated by someone he thought inferior to him, and he never lets a slight go.

So those bowls aren't for his stomach. They're there to adorn his hairdo, and he'll know it the moment he sees the first one, much less the hundreds behind it.

If you want him to "self-deport" from the WH, make him choose whether to relive that moment over and over and over. He'll flee.

MuseRider

(34,060 posts)
6. This has some possibilities!
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 07:15 PM
Jan 2021

We baited beaver from our pond with a different type of scent, trapped them in a cage and took them to a big lake with lots of beaver and streams that allowed them to be safe. I have used something like you are talking about for other things over the years but darned if I can remember, out here we get lots of pests. I was told that human urine kept out some kinds of critters from your garden. I enlisted my two little boys, then around 5-7 years old and they took care of that with gusto and enjoyment. We could all just volunteer to send jars of pee and have someone soak rags. It might take awhile but in summer it should start to really kick in.

lunatica

(53,410 posts)
12. He has a high intolerance level for blood
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 07:34 PM
Jan 2021

He’s said so himself. He once refused to help an old man who was bleeding while in some party or fund raiser or charity, or whatever function he used to crash just to stay relevant.

Put a rag on the end of a stick with fresh blood on it. That should do the trick.

jcgoldie

(11,584 posts)
13. It won't work
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 07:38 PM
Jan 2021

It would have to be covered in fluid excreted by his own species... pretty sure none exist...

JHB

(37,132 posts)
46. Wrong species. Don't disparage orangutans
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 09:39 PM
Jan 2021

Given his habit of making loud vulgar noises, and pissing on anything he sees below him, his lineage is clear.

Howler Monkey.

FailureToCommunicate

(13,989 posts)
14. Good idea, but the "excretion fluid" would have to be from some creature more vile than
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 07:39 PM
Jan 2021

Trump himself. I cannot think of any on God's green Earth more vile...

Revanchist

(1,375 posts)
18. This is Trump you're talking about
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 07:52 PM
Jan 2021

You need to tie a bundle of fresh broccoli to the stick. That will scare him away for sure 😜

flamin lib

(14,559 posts)
20. Naaa. Get the film crew from COPS and let the Secret Service do what they've wanted to do
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 07:56 PM
Jan 2021

for the last couple of years; cuff, shackle and drag his smarmy ass out of the People's House. Sell Pay per View and fund the Covid Recovery Plan.

I'd pay good money to see it, wouldn't you?

leftieNanner

(14,998 posts)
35. Apparently some of the Secret Service agents actually LIKE him!
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 09:00 PM
Jan 2021

Which is why they are putting different agents in the Biden detail.

jayschool2013

(2,309 posts)
22. The scent of the law
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 08:08 PM
Jan 2021

The stick of justice.

Those ought to do the trick.

I'd be more worried that he's going to high-tail it to another country from which he won't be extradited.

He's a coward, after all.

niyad

(112,435 posts)
40. I know that most people want him in prison, but think about the savings to the taxpayers.
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 09:13 PM
Jan 2021

And, as an added bonus, repeated hints about the groups who are looking for him.

Warpy

(110,912 posts)
23. Trash pandas have higher standards.
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 08:11 PM
Jan 2021

Butyric acid might work, if they could confine it to him and the carpeting he is expected to take with him when he leaves.

Personally, I'm still holding out for the hug-me jacket and refrigerator dolly. Bonus points if he goes into the dumpster near the WH service entrance.

ShazzieB

(15,958 posts)
52. I second that motion.
Tue Jan 5, 2021, 03:51 PM
Jan 2021

I'm definitely in favor of the dolly and jacket, especially if it's accessorized with one one of those cute little Hannibal Lector masks!

Mr. Evil

(2,749 posts)
27. Since he absolutely despises President Obama,
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 08:24 PM
Jan 2021

we should procure some 'excretion fluid' from him. That should definitely get the job done!

I know it's a stretch but, President Obama seems like a stand-up guy. I mean, if that's the only way to get rid of the White House pest, I'm sure he'd consider stepping up.

DallasNE

(7,392 posts)
37. Plan B
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 09:07 PM
Jan 2021

Should that not work do the same thing but this time make the excretion fluid come from an African-American. That would for sure send him hightailing it out of there. It might even cause him to head for his Turnberry club.

 

AmericanCanuck

(1,102 posts)
41. I still prefer Forest Service Rangers
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 09:18 PM
Jan 2021

who would shoot him with a tranquilizer dart, check his vitals, weigh him, put a GPS collar on him and an ID tag on his foot -- then release him in some forest before the tranquilizer wears off.

myohmy2

(3,118 posts)
42. wrong sex...?
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 09:19 PM
Jan 2021

...wrong species...?

...but not to worry, Grandma said she's willing to piss on a stick if it gets him out of the White House January 20th...

...seriously, Grammie said that...

...

Smackdown2019

(1,169 posts)
48. Better idea, instead of a stick.
Mon Jan 4, 2021, 09:57 PM
Jan 2021

Have Joe the plumber shows up with a truck load of Skunks. Then have the Washington DC animal shelter deposit some dogs off. I sure there be some activity going on, QUICK!

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