How can I convince my SIL...

[Sophiegirl]

My SIL is a former sheriffs deputy who has fierce loyalty to the police. He is a good man. A wonderful husband and a great father to my 5-yr old granddaughter. However, he insists on hanging a “Blue Lives Matter” flag on his front step. I don’t know how to get him to understand that the meaning of that flag isn’t what he thinks or at the least has changed from what it was originally meant to be. He believes it is supporting law enforcement but I see it differently. When I see that flag, I think of police overreach, radical extremism and white supremacy. I know he doesn’t see it that way, but I am concerned that he is giving his neighbors the idea that he is of that ilk. I think he is just being stubborn.

I’m not sure how to approach him about this. Any suggestions would be very welcome.

[50 Shades Of Blue]

1. You can't. Any more than he could convince you to fly that flag on your front step.

[Ferrets are Cool]

13. +1

[RockRaven]

2. Aren't there pics of either the capitol riot or some Proud Boy protest where idiots with those flags

were fighting the cops? I can't remember where/when that happened, but it was since the election.

It's not the best argument, but if you want to play dirty try to find pics or video of people wielding the flag while doing anti-cop things. Show how it's a symbol used by violent thugs who aren't actually pro-cop at all.

[Sophiegirl]

3. Good thought

I’ll see what I can find.

Thank you for your suggestion.

[dawg day]

4. I'd be tempted to say--

"If blue lives matter to you, you must really be against Trump who incited a mob to go after the Capitol Police."

Actually, I'm tending to back off now, as arguing tends to harden people in their position. You could try going the softer route, asking him as someone with knowledge how he thinks policing could be improved-- what would he do if he were in charge.

I have found that often even those who seem entrenched actually have ideas and thoughts about what could be done better. I have a friend who (though a scientist) is "pretty sure" human activity isn't "that big a cause" of climate change. I used to argue with him, but we got nowhere. Then I thought to say, "Hmm. Even if it's not the only cause, you're saying human activity does have an effect. And human activity is something we can affect, unlike volcanoes. So... do you have any ideas what could be done to cut down on what we can cut down on? Maybe some technological solutions?"

He actually stopped arguing and started talking about potential engineering solutions that he'd been reading about. I was pretty surprised, but I think my acknowledgement of his own knowledge helped. I didn't say, as I did before, "How on earth can a scientist ignore the science!" Instead I tried, "As a scientist, can you help me think through some partial solutions?"

I don't know if that will help, but you might say, "As a law-enforcement veteran, can you help me think through ways to help making police and the community more cooperative?"

who knows... he sounds like a great guy, so if you ask him to "help," maybe that will break through the barrier.

[Sophiegirl]

7. Thank you

For your thoughtful response. I appreciate it very much.

[Mariana]

5. Is it that ugly desecration of the Flag of the United States of America?

The black and white one with the one blue line?

[Karadeniz]

6. Yes...

[Sophiegirl]

11. That's the one.

And I hate it.

[Mariana]

15. Doesn't he respect the flag of our country?

I guess not very much, if he's flying that tacky cheap-looking rip-off of the design.

If he's patriotic at all, you could try to play on that angle, that while you agree with the overall sentiment he's trying to express, that particular flag is offensive because it's a desecration of the United States flag.

[lettucebe]

8. I would leave him be and be thankful he's not gone completely over the edge

like my son and DIL. I'm sick to death about it; they even have a life sized cardboard tRump in their house! I'd give anything for them only to be supporting "Blue Lives Matter."

I'd really just let it go. You won't change his mind -- perhaps in time, but not right now.

[Sophiegirl]

10. Thanks

It does kinda break my heart that he doesn’t see it.

[Sophiegirl]

9. I found this article

I was thinking of sending to them.

https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2021/01/the-mob-at-the-capitol-proves-that-blue-lives-have-never-mattered-to-trump-supporters/

[JHB]

28. Maybe also these

The Capitol riot is a reminder of the links between police and white supremacy
Almost 30 police officers attended the Capitol rally. It should come as no surprise.
Jan 16, 2021
***
And in addition to perpetuating racist violence and mass incarceration while on the job, police have also had a presence in white nationalist groups. In the 1920s, “probably the single largest occupational group in the Klan were police, or other officers of law and order, like sheriff’s deputies,” Gordon told Vox. And while we don’t know the specific affiliations of the officers under investigation for their role last Wednesday, it should be no surprise to see police at a rally alongside white nationalists or to see pro-police “blue lives matter” flags at the same event with Confederate flags and other racist symbols.

“White supremacy has really crept into police forces,” Sabrina Karim, a professor of government at Cornell University who studies global policing, told Vox earlier this week. And to a meaningful extent, it’s been there from the beginning.
***

https://www.vox.com/2021/1/16/22233514/capitol-riot-rally-police-white-supremacy

What It Means That Trump Has Abandoned The American Flag For The Blue Lives Matter Flag
October 29, 2020
Donald Trump’s racist attacks, dog whistles, and comments haven’t slowed down in the weeks and days leading up to the presidential election. From his digs at Barack Obama to his refusal to condemn white supremacist groups, Trump is feeding the flames of white supremacy more than ever — despite his assertion that he was “the least racist person in this room” during last week’s debate. In his latest "least racist" act, Trump has taken to blatantly featuring Blue Lives Matter flags at his events and rallies.

At gatherings in Wisconsin, including one in Janesville, Trump displayed the flag in a prominent place next to the American flag. But then there was a noticable shift: last weekend, at a rally in Waukesha, WI, the Blue Lives Matter flag replaced the American flag altogether.

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2020/10/10135048/blue-lives-matter-flag-trump-rally-replace-american-flag

[Demsrule86]

12. Leave him alone...not worth it.

[BlueCanine]

16. Tell Him That Flag...

..Represents the 'Thin Blue Line' that keeps honest and honorable LEOs from speaking out of offenses that the 'Bad Apples' commit. Let him know that not reporting abuses that those officers commit taint all LEOs and that is why movements like BLM have propagated and will continue to grow.

Lastly ask him if he's seen or know of any of his fellow officers who have lied in court or on official reports. If he says that he isn't aware of any then he must be blind to the reality of human nature to persevere their income and position in society.

It won't work, IMO, but it may make him think.

[Baltimike]

17. tell him that other than black people, the ones that need prtection from the bad cops

are the good ones

[Baltimike]

18. and remind him how silent they've been abt ibe if their own dying

at the treasonous insurrection

[Bev54]

19. There are no blue lives, it is just a uniform that can be taken off and they become

like everyone else. Here is a good article about it

https://bunow.com/why-the-all-and-blue-lives-matter-arguments-are-invalid-and-wrong/

[Sophiegirl]

21. Thanks to everyone who responded

All of it is good food for thought. I’ll mull it over and come up with a way to broach the subject with him.

[ananda]

22. What does the S mean in SIL?

???

[Sophiegirl]

23. Son

[ananda]

27. Thanks.

Sorry, I shoulda figured that out.

I kept thinking sister, but you were
talking about a male. Derrppp

[LiberalFighter]

24. It is disrespectful to modify the flag in that manner.

Once something is added to it the flag no longer is the USA flag.

[Sophiegirl]

26. I agree with you. /nt

[Demonaut]

25. leave it be